I lie next to you, you look so peaceful. Your hair seems to be dancing around your face. The face that has saved me so many times. At times that they found us out, knew where we were. I remember one time you woke up in the middle of the night. You thought you needed to take those pills…you thought you were close to shaking your self near to death. Then you heard footsteps down the hall. You went to see who it was, without a weapon in your hand, and it was them. Before they saw you, you came back to me and warned me we needed to run. It would have been so much easier for you to walk out there yourself… I was wounded, you would have been so much faster without me. But no matter all of that, you came back.
You helped me out the window, and supported my weight as we stood on that rooftop. I still hear them coming closer and closer. My thoughts were racing…would you leave me? Would they capture us? But you showed no thoughts of leaving me. I don't even know if you even thought about us getting captured. You probably didn't, you're always strong like that.
After crawling down of that rooftop, we needed to run…badly! They were so close…I wondered how we were too fast for them? After all, I was slowing us down. But you found a ride for us, and before I knew it we were out of town. And once again free from them.
You can't see it, but right know I have to smile at you. You always knew what to do, you never panicked. Everyone always says I am the one that doesn't doubt about stuff when it comes to it. But really it is you that never hesitates and always somehow makes the right choices.
Then there was the time when you were convinced they had your sister, you were convinced they had Tina. You had spent days researching this facility. I can still remember the route we had to run in order to come to the place you knew she was. Jump over the fence, immediately run to the right, because if you don't their camera's will spot you. Take the very last door at the side of the building and go into the hall. After that you have to be quick, because there's a team of guards coming there every 5 minutes. You make sure the power is down, which should be doable if you walk down the hall and go the first left. After the power is down, you should be able to get into a room called room 04, all the monitors of the camera's are there and you can see were Tina is exactly. In this room there are over 12 guards, so you need to act quickly. I can hear you repeat it over and over to me. Like I would forget it…like my training would let me forget an action plan.
But needless to say, we did all of that. We had a small problem in the monitor room…because you kind of miscalculated something. You do that very often, but you adapt so well…it really doesn't matter if there's one guard or as it happened to be that very night 20 guards. It took us a while, but we got them…all of them.
When we watched the monitors, I spotted Tina first. The way she looked was just too terrible. I couldn't tell you I saw her, I wanted to tell you she wasn't there and come back later, without you. She probably would have been shipped out by then, and you would have never forgave me…but I couldn't tell you your sister was wrapped up in that stuff…almost destroyed by them. Just when I was about to say we should go back, you saw the monitor. I saw you shaking for a couple of seconds, can't have been longer then that. Then the way you looked changed, you toughened up, You told me you saw her, and knew where we should go.
I followed you to the place we both had seen…one of the rooms in the building you spent hours over checking it out. You knew exactly where it was. When we entered that room it was clear it was too late for Tina, we had come too late. Me, being the realist, saw it immediately, but you didn't. You screamed her name for what seemed to be hours. You tried everything to get her out off…I don't even know how to describe the thing she was in. When you too came to realize she was gone, and if we didn't moved soon so would we. I could already hear them… You fell down in front of Tina. I saw a small tear escaping and your soft words I will never forget: "I'm sorry".
After you too had realized Tina was too far gone, we had to run in order for us to escape them. That night I remember you sitting on the rooftop of the house we had invaded back then, I remember you staring into space, like you always do when things seem hopeless. I wanted to tell you everything would be okay, but I just knew it was a lie. One of your sisters just died, and soon you too would come to realize this seemed to be the fate for the entire old team.
Needless to say Tina wasn't the only one you and I tried to save. All of those rescue missions failed. Not because we weren't skilled enough, just because we were to late. They had already gotten to them. Their faces looking nothing like the faces of the people you had loved so much. It hurt you so much to let them go, to run away, knowing you left them behind. The only thing that would comfort you in that, was knowing it wasn't really them, they were long gone.
The way you lie right now would give nothing away about the way that you feel. The way that I feel. The perfect relationship we once had, we still could have had if it wasn't for them. They destroyed everything, even something I thought they could never destroy: Us.
I guess it started a few months ago. You went to see Logan, which I never liked by the way. Although I don't need to tell you this, you know this…we fought more then enough over this. But anyway, you were gone for about an hour when I got a call, somebody telling me he had information about Zack. I thought you needed to know right then. Because out of all of your brothers and sisters, he was the one you cared the most about.
Of course you came right away, wanting to get him out as soon as possible. So there we went, on a mission of ours which didn't take us longer then a couple of days. It seemed to be a dead end, maybe Zack had been there…but as the days went on, it seemed more likely that he had never been there. You started taking things out on me, after all, as you said, every mission we went on together never ended well. I let you blame me, I figured that was what you needed to do then.
When we came back, we were already apart. There was no doubt about that. Then one night you came back and started to fight me as soon as you walked through the door. When you finally told me what was going on you simply said: "Logan is dead, and it's your fault. Because of you, because of your call about information about Zack, I wasn't there to protect him." Then you ran out of the house. I knew the only thing that you forgot to say, that you thought it was because of me that the love of your life was dead. Because let's face it, even if you once did love me, Logan was the one for you.
It took you weeks to come back, and I still firmly believe that the only reason you came back was because they tracked you down. And the only safe place at the moment was being with me. Even if we did get caught then…you would have someone else to fight along side of you.
They tracked us down a couple of times after that. We never went far away from the city, because you told me you couldn't be far away from were Logan was buried. I told you I understood, when in fact I don't. It would have been safer for us to move away, and really what's left of him? It's just a pile of bones, the true Logan will always stay with you, in your heart. But when I told you this, you just threw something at my head and told me never to speak of him again. Sorry I broke that promise.
Then last week I heard you talking on the phone, when you saw that I was nearby you suddenly hung up. I had to much training and I have to much paranoia to think innocent of that. I kept a close eye on you…and then yesterday, you proved me right. I heard the entire phone call this time. You are selling me out in order to get Zack back. Even though we both know they'll won't give you Zack, I don't blame you. He means much more to you then I probably ever did. So no hard feelings there.
But that is exactly the reason why I am sneaking out of our house right now. And why I won't be there in the morning. You might blame me at first, and you might think your changes of getting Zack back are slim. But one day, we will meet again, may it be when they finally get us, may it be in heaven, may it be a stranger you see in a flash on the street. And that day, I will say sorry to you, for everything you had to go through, and for ruining your change to see Zack.
As I close the door behind me, I close the door for us. All I know is that you are to good, to sweet and were to innocent to constantly be hunted by them. I hope that in the future you no longer have to run and your friends and loved ones will be safe. I doubt this with all my heart, but I will fight for it. As I am sure you will.
We may no longer be together, and we may not even be friends anymore. But I will treasure the times with you, and even though we no longer fight together, it is good to know people are fighting them. Because it is a crime what has been done to us. And I will never stop fighting for it, neither will I stop fighting for anyone who can't fight for themselves, and you can be proud of that…because that is what you taught me!
Max, you are the bravest person I have ever met, and you have changed my life, and changed my look on life. I hope that in the next life, you are the queen of the world, you'd make a good one.
But for now, I walk these streets, my head low. Walking through a town that never seems to sleep, strangers looking at me, trying to see if I'm an easy prey. I guess I never looked like one, because they ignore me. A block further, I see an innocent child being the victim of a few of these creeps, I walk right towards them, ready to defend this child. Because Max, you taught me that's the only way we can fight for us…to fight for others.
That's all you Max!
