"...I mean, really! Just what made you think that was going to work?" The preteen vented. Her brother just rolled his eyes as they plodded along through the woods. He was no less frustrated with their current predicament, and her grousing definitely wasn't making things any easier.
"Look, I told you. Bread crumbs were the only thing I could find." He tried to explain again. "Besides, at least I tried something."
"Yeah, but you could have used so many other things to make a trail back home! Like, a thousand different things, at least! You could have made a little traillie-dealie with twigs! Or flowers! Or leaves! Or bark! Or pebbles!" She reached down and picked up a small stone. After waving it about in her twin's face, she unceremoniously tossed it back on the ground behind them. "See, Dipsel? Easy! And as far as I know-"
"Mabel!" His patience was already dangerously thin, and her complaining speedily proved to be too much. The bristling boy whirled around and bared his teeth. "How is this helping?"
She automatically wilted a little. Then as if on cue, her stomach let out an audible growl. The girl rubbed her painfully empty belly as she gazed back through sad brown eyes. "I'm sorry...but if you brought crumbs, then you could have at least shared some."
Pangs of guilt struck fast, and the fierce glare instantly vanished. He sighed and gave her a pat on the shoulder. "I'm sorry. Look, let's just forget about it. We'll find our way back home somehow, okay? I promise."
Mabel dearly wanted to believe him. However, her boundless optimism was nowhere to be seen. Instead of her usual cheery grin, a despairing frown hung heavily on her face. "How?"
"Uh…good question. Give me a second." The poor peasant children aimlessly glanced about their surroundings. No matter where they looked, they saw nothing but vast identical-looking stretches of thick forest as far as the eye could see. Dipsel toyed with his rough homespun shirt while he tried to cook up a plan. "All right...maybe we should...I think if we head that way, then maybe we can-"
"Wait!" A strange odor had started to waft through the trees, instantly catching her undivided attention. She took a whiff and immediately perked up. "Do…do you smell that?"
Her twin sniffed the sweet fragrance. "Hey...hey yeah. Weird, it kinda smells like-"
Mabel promptly took off like an arrow as she followed her nose to the source of the mysteriously appetizing scent. Her brother's cries fell on deaf ears, and he had no choice but to sprint after her. She was a girl on a mission, and she determinedly tore through the woods until she beheld a sight that instantly stole the breath from her throat. Panting hard, Dipsel caught up a few beats later, only to also be absolutely thunderstruck. Together they started to rub their bulging eyes to make sure that their senses weren't playing a cruel trick.
It was a house, but a house like absolutely nothing they had ever even imagined before, much less seen. By the looks of it, it seemed to have been built by an enormous baker rather than by the hands of any craftsman. Instead of wood or stone, fragrant gingerbread composed its surprisingly sturdy walls, all of which were held together by thick frosting as white as freshly fallen snow. The structure was roofed with shortbread cookie tiles and a glistening gumdrop chimney, and all around it were finely crafted windows made of delicate crystalized sugar panes. It was the culinary wonder of the world, and the only thing separating it from them was a pathway constructed entirely of gigantic red and white peppermints lying half-buried in the ground in place of paving stones.
For two poverty-stricken peasant preteens who had barely eaten a thing in days, it was nearly overwhelming. Mabel's eyes widened to the size of saucers, and in no time her mouth was watering worse than a leaky faucet. Dipsel's astonishment however soon wore off. His intuition told him that something strange was definitely going on here.
"Okay…. so just what is that?" He eyed the house skeptically.
"I'll tell you what it is! YUMMY!" Mabel clapped her hands and bounced with unconquerable delight. She couldn't remember the last time they had had sweets of any kind, and now they could indulge in sugary delight to their heart's content. "C'mon, let's go! Let's go!"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold it!" Dipsel grabbed her arm. "Wait a sec!"
"Why? Dipsel, look! Look!" She tugged and pointed furiously. "Just look! It's candy! Like, all the candy ever! Just standing there being all delicious and tasty and just waiting to-"
"I know, I know! Mabel, just listen." He pled for patience. "Doesn't this seem kind of strange to you? Just think about it. Who seriously makes a house out of candy? And in the middle of the woods?"
He raised an extremely valid point. The strange structure's very existence raised a mountain of good questions. Unfortunately for him at the moment his sister was doing all her thinking with her stomach. She dismissed his caution with a loud scoff. "Who? Someone who doesn't want people to eat their super tasty home, that's who!"
"Mabel it's-"
"Meow meow meow meow meow!" She jabbered back sarcastically and flapped her hand like a poor man's puppet. "Less talking, more munching!"
One quick jerk was all it took to wrench her arm free. Laughing eagerly, she skipped off towards the delicious-looking structure, while her wary brother held back. "Mabel! Mabel, hold on!"
"Don't worry!" She called back. "What could possibly go wrong?"
Giggling up a storm, the nightie-clad brunette fell flat on her stomach as she exited the Mystery Shack. She got back up, brushed herself down, and then continued with her merry yet ungraceful skipping. It all made quite a confusing sight for a lanky teen. Wendy cocked an eyebrow and then shot a glance over to her young friend.
"…Uh...hey, Dipper?"
"Yeah?" The boy grunted as he hefted an overstuffed garbage bag into the trashcan.
"You said that Mabel's sick right now...right?" She double-checked.
"Uh-huh. It's pretty nasty." Dipper wiped his brow and shot her a quizzical look. "Wait, why?"
"If she's not feeling too hot...then what's she doing out here?" Wendy pointed. Swaying unsteadily on her feet, Mabel was now gazing up at the side of the house with a hungry look in her glazed eyes. She bounced on her toes, clasped her hands and licked her lips with barely restrained anticipation.
"…Delicious!" She whispered happily. The girl savored the moment for a little longer before opening her jaws as wide as they could humanly stretch.
"What the...MABEL! No, no, no, no! Stop!" He babbled. The fever-stricken girl was clearly going to try to take a whopping bite out of the filthy wooden boards. Her brother hustled over to her side and yanked her back in time.
"Dipsel, no! What are you doing?" She raised a shrill protest.
"Mabel, why are you-"
"Nooooo! Let me have gingerbready goodness! Mabel wants tasty house! Mabel wants it now!" Frantically she thrust her arms out towards what she could swear was the world's largest dessert. "Dipsel, let go!"
"Ginger what?" He grabbed the sides of head face in his hand and examined her flush face. It soon became obvious that her reality was a little warped at the moment. "Oh, no-"
"Let go! Let go, you poophead!" She struggled to get loose. "First you wouldn't let me eat your stupid crumbs, and now you won't let me eat the sweetest, yummiest house in the whole wide world? You're being such a-"
"Hey! Hey, easy! Easy!" Wendy tried to lend a hand. She stepped in and wrapped an arm around her friend's waist. "Mabel, cool it! What's wrong with-"
"Wait!" Dipper yelped. "Careful, she doesn't know what-"
"WIIIIIIITCH!" The hallucination instantly took a dark turn. Mabel took one look at the teenager and screamed in unbridled terror. "WITCH! WITCH! WIIIIIITCH! NO, WE WILL NOT BE YOUR DINNER!"
In an instant she forgot all about the scrumptious gingerbread house that wasn't there as she tried to defend herself. Thankfully, the sickly tween was as weak as a kitten. Wendy suddenly found herself on the receiving end of nothing more than gentle pawing on her face.
"Uh…Mabel?" The teen gawked blankly as a trembling hand batted her cheek with the force of a falling leaf. "Dude, are you okay?"
"Get in there!" Mabel now started to push and shove her lanky friend with all her nonexistent might. "Get in that oven, stupid! Mmmphh! Arrgh! C'mon...get in there! Get...in...there! Your child eating days are over, you creepy magic hag!"
Wendy of course quickly picked up on all the childhood references. Not surprisingly, this only made her confusion even worse. Dipper however was anything but at a loss. In fact, he was all business as he ripped his cap off his head, plopped it onto his sister and yanked the brim down. Now that her vision was obscured, the delirious preteen promptly stopped resisting.
"Huh?" She muttered bewilderedly. "What the...w-where'd you go?"
"You don't see the witch anymore, right?" Dipper tuned down to the gentlest tone that he could. Now he spoke as if she was a fussy toddler.
"Nuh-uh." Mabel blindly felt about. "But...but I can't see the candy house either. Dipsel, where is it? It was right here."
Wendy didn't know what was more baffling, Mabel's rantings, or the fact that Dipper was acting like he had handled this particular kind of mess before. The dumbfounded teen wisely stepped out of the way to let him take command of the situation.
Dipper guided her arms down to her sides, moving with a sense of calm borne only from experience. "It's okay. It's okay, Mabel. They're both gone now, and that's okay because you know what?"
"What?"
The crafty boy started to rhythmically beat his hands together. "You hear that? Mabel, look! It's a horse! A big white one, and it's coming right this way!"
Even though she couldn't see a single thing, her highly suggestive state of mind convinced her otherwise. She brightened up with a delighted gasp. "Yeah! Yeah, I see it! Oh Dipper, she's...she's so beautiful! She'll let me pet her, right? Right?"
"Even better, she's going to let you go for a ride! You're actually getting up on her...mmph…right...now..." With some difficulty, Dipper loaded his feverish twin up onto his back. "All right, we're going to go on a little trip."
Grinning from ear to ear, Mabel slumped limply on her twin and giggled weakly.
"She's amazing…" She buried her face deep in the back of her brother's hair with a contented murmur. "Dipper, her mane is sooooo soft."
"Uh...yeah, it sure is. Okay, off we go...".
"Okay." She readily agreed. He very awkwardly carried her off. Unsure of what else to do, Wendy hovered alongside the curious-looking pair The little group journeyed into the Mystery Shack, all the way up the stairs and into the twins' shared attic bedroom. By the time they reached the end of the ride, the young girl had almost completely passed out with exhaustion from all the hectic excitement of the past few minutes.
"G-good horsey." She sleepily reached around to pet her brother in the face, and nearly jammed a finger or two up his nose in the process. "That's a good horsey."
"Yeah, it's definitely a real horse all right…okay, we're gonna get off now...easy...nice and easy..." He backed up towards the bed.
Wendy stepped in and hefted the young girl off. Mabel was barely set on top of her mattress before she passed out into a deep sleep. Dipper wiped his brow, and took a couple moments to catch his breath. The "ride" had taken a toll on his underdeveloped muscles.
"…Okay," Wendy thoughtfully tucked in her friend. "So can you clue me in on what just happened? Because that trip to Storyland or whatever was all kinds of messed up. Like, even for Mabel."
Dipper motioned for her to keep her voice low as he took his cap back. "I'm pretty sure I know. Hold on…"
He reached for a small white bottle on the table. The boy took one glance at the label, and promptly tossed it straight into the garbage can.
"Thanks a lot, Grunkle Stan." He grumbled sarcastically, then sat down hard on the floor with a gasp. While he gave his aching limbs a break, Wendy tucked her legs beneath her and joined him.
"Soooo..." The blank look in her jade eyes signaled loud and clear that she was still at a loss. "You wanna actually tell me what happened?"
"Sorry!" He sputtered an apology to his crush. "It's not that big of a deal. It only happens if you give her the really, really cheap cough medicine. Like, the cheapest stuff on the shelves. If Mabel takes the low-end stuff, it makes her..."
He noticed her stuffed tiger lying on the floor. He passed the toy into his twin's arms as he thought up a gentle way to put it. "It makes her kind of...loopy."
"Yeah...kind of." She passed a quick glance behind her at the dozing girl. "Is she going to be okay?"
"Huh? Oh yeah, she'll be just fine." Dipper assured. "This really wasn't all that bad. Especially compared to the last time."
"Really?" Wendy clapped a hand over her mouth and just barely muffled a snort of laughter. "Dude, c'mon. Now you have to tell me about it."
"Well...we kind of had our own version of Goldilocks and the Three Bears going on." The boy rolled his eyes at the unpleasant memory.
"What did she wander around and look for porridge?" Joked the lanky redhead.
"I wish." Dipper paused. He told his friend this much, so he might as well go all the way. He rolled up his sleeve, and Wendy simultaneously snickered and winced at the scar on his shoulder. "Seriously, it would have been so much better if she thought she was Goldilocks…."
