Anyway, I'm back, back for good. I put a claim up for fanfic100 on the LiveJournal community, but she hasn't updated the Big Damn Table yet, so I can't exactly say this was officially written for Prompt #70 – Storm, even though it was, in my mind. So, let's not, and say I did.
Exams were this past week, and I've filled up about a whole notebook of writing, so expect LOTS of one-shots. (I just have to type them. Bah.) No more chapter stories for me for a while, until I can finally get my head on gear, and actually finish one.
Which could take a while.
Last night, I updated my Lost wall, (I tore apart every TV Guide and Entertainment Weekly magazine with them in it that I had, which was A LOT), and hung them up... I can now probably say that ¾ of my room is covered in Lost paraphernalia. And, the uncovered wall has my Lost calendar on it, so all is not lost. (No pun intended.)
This story has so much angst and upset-y-ness in it, that it was only kinda hard for me to write (this is actually my first fic where Jack gets rejected by Kate, and I leave it that way), because I was going through an anti-Jack period, but it's all good now, and I'm back to normal, and liking Jack… Well… Normal for me. Which isn't very normal.
Disclaimer: This brainchild does not belong to me. It has the honor of having a father by the name of JJ Abrams and a loving sponsor by the name of ABC. :)
Rain, Rain, Go AwayBy FanOfLost
January 21st, 2006
The sullen sky opened up just as the blazing sun's last rays passed out of view. The survivors had been expecting this storm for days now, ever since the waves had started to become more brutal, more monstrous. Many welcomed the rain, for droughts had passed through the Island like sand in an hourglass, fast and fierce. Lightening lit up the sky as fireworks would on the Fourth of July, and crackles of thunder resounded through the beach. The winds blew their hellos, throwing particles of sand into small cyclones as they slowly faded away.
Kate looked out her small tent, the
water droplets landing on her face, mixing with the salty tears.
Tears of pain, tears of fear, but above all tears of distrust. She
had thrown up barricade after barricade, yet Jack sliced through her,
as a warm knife would butter.
At first, Kate had loved the
mysteriousness of it all. The small smiles, the knowing glances, an
occasional pat on the back. But now it had been two months, and all
that acknowledged their relationship was a memory of a kiss and a
simple smile as a hello. She didn't know how he would react, once she
kissed him. Would it be happiness? Validation? Instead of waiting for
a reaction, Kate did what she knew how to do. She ran. She bolted
from a future, from a possible way of life itself.
She guessed
she had never been one of those girls set out to be a housewife. A
loner she was, and a loner she would remain. Kate had been too
dependent on people in the beginning, and now she was introducing her
regrets.
Regrets.
Every person had them, whether it
was to grab that last banana, or kiss a person at the opportune
moment. Kate's mind thrived on them. 'What if I had done this?'
or 'Damn, wish I would have done that.' she thought those all
the time, among many other things.
Kate's train of thought
derailed as she saw Jack through the mist of the rain, plodding his
way through the wet sand towards her. His shirt soaked though, and
his pants clinging to his legs, Kate's mind imaged him as a
bedraggled, miserable doll who has been through the wash one too many
times. Quickly wiping away all traces of tears and raindrops, she
gave him a small tired smile, one that she had worn countless times
before.
"Hey," was all he said as she moved aside so he could get out of the rain.
"'Lo," she replied. "One hell of a storm brewing out there, 'eh?" Kate tried to get a conversation going.
"Yeah... Most people are glad that it's just happening finally," Jack shifted as he tried to find a dry spot in the damp sand.
She nodded and all fell silent for a couple minutes as Jack unsuccessfully tried to wring out his shirt without awkwardly taking it off. But it was a familiar silence, one that they had both experienced before.
"So." Kate said, and automatically Jack's head snapped up. She could see the regret in his eyes as they connected with hers painfully before looking away.
"Obviously you came here to tell me something... right?" She questioned her own statement, mentally slapping herself for sounding so insecure.
"Yeah, I just wanted to make sure you were here, and not caught out in the storm." He smiled for a short minute at her and every horrible feeling Kate had seemed to vanish on the spot.
"Ah," was all she said, not really sure what to think of it. In fact, she wasn't exactly sure what to think on the whole Jack front right about now.
"Just making my rounds. Hurley and Libby are next." He lied, but Kate didn't catch it in his voice.
That was the secret of doctors. They could lie straight through their teeth, and anyone would believe them without hesitation. Why? Because doctors always gave a false sense of security. If anyone knew what was going on, it was probably them. A master lie for a master medic.
"Oh." Kate replied and she could hear the disappointment in her voice as the words left her lips.
"What is this, single syllable day or something?" Jack questioned, concern gleaming brightly in his eyes. "Is everything okay?"
"Yes." Kate responded, a little too fast. After a second thought, she added, "Everything is fine." In truth, it wasn't. Nothing was 'fine', as she so subtly put it. It was falling apart, but Kate was too stubborn to let it out, especially in front of someone who would go into 'doctor-mode' in nothing flat if she did.
She knew Jack could see right through her, but he didn't push it. For once, when she did want him to worry about her, he didn't. Typical irony. "You sure?" He delicately skated around the subject.
"No." Kate sarcastically countered, upset at the small talk. She was hurting and Jack acted like there was nothing that troubled her.
"...Sorry." Jack said, obviously taken aback a bit. "Didn't know I was bothering you." He moved to leave, the sand forming cascading falls as the creases of his pants flattened.
Kate set a hand on the back of his leg. "Wait," was all she said, scared that he'd leave if she said anything more.
Jack sighed and turned around, "How long are we going to play this game, Kate?"
The question burned a hole in Kate's heart, and she hesitated. "Play what game?" She was honestly interested to see what he thought of this whole mess.
"The game of cat and mouse, the game of faith, the game of... love." He paused at the last word, almost as if it were hard for him to admit. And maybe it was.
The feeling that was supposed to fill Kate's heart with joy eluded her. She was enthralled to have him finally receive defeat, to hear those words, but her heart wasn't with it. Her eyes avoided his, and her feet shifted as a three-year-old's would when its mother caught him red handed with the cookie jar.
"...Say something." Jack was back to pushing her for an answer. Great. Back to his usual self.
Usually she had a comeback ready to go, but at this point, she was speechless. The words were out of her mouth faster then she could catch them. "I'm sorry."
His eyes flit over her elegant features, seeing if this was a way to get him or not. The truth was told in her clear brown eyes, raw and public. "You mean... this whole time... Jesus." Jack ran a hand over his hair, confused and hurt. "You played me." His hand was shaking, and also his voice. "This whole time, it was just some big joke to you."
"Jack..." She tapered off, trying to form a coherent sentence in her mind. "I never meant to hurt you." was all that came forth.
"Yeah, well, you sure screwed up ther-" He was cut off by the flap opening, and Charlie poking his head in.
"Sorry to both you, mates, but Jack, the main fire went out again, and Sayid needs matches." His eyes took in the scene, "Oh bloody hell, I interrupted you two, didn't I?" He started to retract his head, so he could leave.
"No, Charlie," Jack kept a steady eye on Kate, "You didn't. In fact, you interrupted nothing." His hand clenched by his side, he left abruptly.
Charlie looked to Kate, who looked as if she were about to breakdown any second. "What happened?" He asked the question that any other person would ask.
Kate stared him straight in the eye, and lied, just as any other person who was put in that situation would, "Nothing, Charlie. Nothing at all."
"...Okay." Charlie nodded, understanding that she just needed to be left alone. He left with the parting words of "If you need any help, I'm here. May not know much, but if... if you ever needed someone to talk to..."
Kate bit her lip, and sat back down, staring out at the storm that had almost disappeared just as quickly as it had begun.
A/N: What'd I tell you? Lots of angst. Don't worry; they all won't be like this. The first couple will, because of my former week of anti-Jackness. It didn't hit at a very good time, because a) I was emotional, mean, and bitchy (coughAllyouknowwhatImeanhopefullycough), and b) it was exam week, so I had nothing to do but write. Also, if the spacing is off, I'm sorry. I originally typed this out on my LiveJournal, and copy and pasted it from there, because I didn't feel like typing it again. So, sorry if that is off.
Also, I'm getting a new computer soon, (I don't know when), and that'll take some time to get up and running, so eventually you'll find a period of time where I take a break without any warning, and that's me probably getting my computer all situated. So, heads up on that. Don't want to seem like I'm making empty promises on you guys (though I have seemed to have made a lot of those for you guys back in November.).
