A/N: Hey guys! If you've been reading my latest concluded fic, no this is not the December fic I promised. I figured we need a bit of comedy with what's currently happening with the world… we need to smile and find some happiness in all the tragedies. Take a break and find a place where we can just be. On that note, I really don't have an upload schedule for this fic but I will try to upload a chapter at least once each month. Sorry for updating this way later than I intended.

This is my Ouran High School Host Club-inspired AU for the Bellas. I may or may not have taken some creative liberties with it so it won't be following the anime strictly although each chapter is inspired by an episode. Also, I have my reasons for why the host club isn't strictly the Bellas. You shall find out as the story unfolds ;)

So without further ado…

Enjoy.

I don't own pitch perfect.


Beca sighed for probably the hundredth time.

In the three days since school has started she finally finished exploring the school grounds dedicated to the high school department of Barden Academy – yes, she spent three full days exploring just the high school department of the campus – all in the vain effort of finding for a good place to study.

Three libraries in the high school building alone and every nook and cranny of each of them were occupied by wealthy and sometimes aristocratic students all socializing with each other and making noise.

The quad was occupied by different outdoor clubs.

The garden club also typically hosted events at the school garden.

Every classroom she's passed by was also occupied by the same groups.

Barden Academy was, after all, a school for the privileged.

Beca sighed once again. It was a good school, and of course she was thankful for getting the most coveted scholarship they offer to one student – and only one – each coming year. To have made it was amazing news all in all.

First was Barden, make her connections, get into the good universities with the best programs and prepare her for the business. All to help her realize her dreams of owning her own music label someday.

Yeah, she was choosing the smart route for this instead of the reckless chase your dreams without a plan route.

"Maybe this one's empty." Beca murmured to herself as she struggled to open the grand doors that led into the third music room.

Where she was inevitably greeted "Welcome." by an odd sort of group of boys and girls facing the doors. One of them was seated in a throne-like chair, smiling with a boyish kind of charm, excitement etched on his features.

"Ah, we have a new guest!" he said excitedly. "Please come in," he said and Beca reluctantly followed, the door immediately shutting behind her as soon as she did.

"Welcome to the host club!" the group chorused again.

"Host club?" Beca asked looking all sorts of confused as she fixed her glasses on her nose, stopping it from slipping down.

"Yes, the Barden High School Host Club, where good looking and wealthy students with too much time on their hands entertain fellow good looking and wealthy students with too much time on their hands." the student sitting on the throne had said. "My name is Jesse Swanson, second year, I'm called 'The King' and the president of the club." he said, and just as soon as she did a stern looking female behind him snorted, trying to hold back a chuckle, "I'm what you'd like to call the 'Boy Next Door' type."

"My name is Luke." the charming tall blond standing to his left said with a wide grin. "Third year, 'the Prince' type'"

"Hi, I'm Emily Junk. The 'Adorable' type. I'm actually from the junior high." the tall, cheery brunette said. She standing behind the chair with the stern looking blonde.

"Yeah, she's actually on loan for us." Another blonde female said. "My name is Amy, first year, people call me 'Fat Amy', I'm the 'Awesome' type but people like to think I' the 'Mischievous' type. And yes, it's a pleasure for you to meet me." she added before turning to the silent girl next to her who looked like she was trying to hide behind everyone else and be all stealthy. "This one is Lilly, she's the 'Silent' type."

"I'm Donald, third year, I'm the 'Playful' type." a guy next to the girl Amy introduced as Lilly had said.

"And I'm Aubrey Posen. The 'cool' type, if you will. Second year and the vice president of the club." The stern looking blonde finally said. "You must be Mitchell, the new student who got in with the scholarship. Judging for the lack of uniform and all."

Beca frowned. Sure she was practically wearing her shabbiest piece of clothing with the ill-fitting sweater, the cargo pants, and the combat boots.

But the school uniforms were ridiculously expensive, going for almost three thousand dollars each.

So, no, definitely a 'no' on the uniform.

"Oh, you're the scholar!" Jesse greeted with excitement standing from his chair. "You know, you're a hero to other poor people, Mitchell. You've shown the world that even a poor person can excel at an elite private academy. It must be hard for you to constantly be looked down upon others…" Jesse started saying before getting all over dramatic with his actions. He was sporting an 'oh cruel world!' like of an expression on his face as he went on. "Spurned, neglected, but doesn't matter now. Long live the poor! We welcome you, poor man, to our world…" he said before smiling brightly at her "of beauty!"

"What?" Beca asked not sure if she should be insulted, annoyed, angry, or just amazed at the level of narcissism Jesse's speech contained.

"So which one of our lovely ladies is your type... Or, are you more interested in spending some time with us gentlemen over some tea and cakes?" Jesse asked making Beca just want to run out of there right then and there.

"I'm just gonna' go…" Beca said but Jesse followed her looking like a lost puppy. It was like he was partially afraid that he scared her off – not that too far from the truth – and at the same time he looked like he definitely wanted to make sure she was at home and that the host club was all being like proper hosts.

Beca, being weirded out by the very concept of the host club, tried to dodge Jesse only to accidently hit a stand with a rather expensive looking vase.

Which of course broke.

Turns out, as Aubrey explained, said vase was supposedly to be auctioned for an event and costs about eighty thousand dollars.

"Now how on earth are you going to pay for that?" Aubrey then sighed.

"Pay for it!? It wasn't like I broke it intentionally! You're weirdo of a president kept pulling me away from the door to stay!" Beca exclaimed.

But her complains were easily ignored when Amy chimed in, "Well, we can always use an errand boy."

"Errand boy? That would take forever for Mitchell to pay us for being an errand boy." Luke commented.

"I don't know, we are out of coffee and let's face it, none of us are willing to go on a coffee run before our guests arrive." Emily then said. "Besides, think of it this way, it would be like we're helping him become a host! Impress the ladies!"

"Him?" Beca asked looking incredibly confused.

But again, it was like she was invisible to the group before her.

The host club conferred among themselves before all turning around, each giving her a devious smile.

All except for Aubrey who was more curious than anything.

And at that moment Beca knew for sure, she had to forego studying, at least for the next hour or so.

Damn, rich bastards.


"What on earth is that?" Donald ask once Beca returned with a plastic bag from the nearby supermarket.

"That is coffee. You wanted coffee. I bought coffee." Beca explained monotonously.

Aubrey couldn't help but chuckle on the retort. She wasn't exactly a big fan but if anything the 'poor scholar' was definitely shaking things up.

"But why does it look like dirt?" Amy then asked.

"It's not dirt." Beca replied flatly.

"But then, where are the coffee beans?" Emily then asked gently, being genuinely confused with the situation at hand, and Beca simply harrumphed as she added water to the instant coffee that she had brought.

Of course, despite never trying the instant coffee herself, Aubrey knew what it was. Jesse took a brave step forward as he proclaimed to the host club and their initial burst of guests coming into the music room that he would try the drink.

And once the king of the host club proclaimed it was quite good, it became an instant success.

Of course it would.

Aubrey sighed as she balanced the log book on the expenses of the host club, keeping a close eye at Beca.

"Ah, Posen." She heard Luke approach just after Lilly picked Beca up away from Amy who was fussing over her after she refilled her cup with instant coffee – the fuss was mostly due to the fact that some of the girls they had as guests were starting to warm up to the 'errand boy'.

"What is it?" Aubrey asked all knowingly.

"You know, don't you?" Luke replied, watching in confusion as Jesse swung the scholar around as he announced that he would teach and transform him into a fine host.

"About what?" Aubrey once again asked coolly with a smug smile.

"I mean, I didn't notice it earlier. Not until Lilly picked Mitchell up, but that said, Mitchell's a…"

"Yes, I know." Aubrey then said with a chuckle.

"Shouldn't you tell Swanson soon?" Luke then asked with a smile just as Jesse snapped his fingers and ordered Amy and Donald to get Mitchell a proper uniform to entertain guests with.

"I think he should be fine in figuring it out himself." Aubrey then replied, her eyes never leaving where Mitchell until the troublemakers of the host club took their poor victim – err, new protégé – into the changing room.

Luke laughed. "Why do I have a feeling that this isn't going to end well?"

Aubrey was just about to reply when she heard a girl ask "What's not going to end well?"

And Aubrey smiled.

She found the perfect first princess for their new protégé aka servant aka serf bound by servitude to the host club until the vase is paid in full.

Who else but her very own best friend?


Chloe wasn't entirely sure what she was expecting when she stepped into the host club that afternoon. She had been a resident customer since the inception of the club by the unlikely duo that was her best friend and the son of the school director, Jesse Swanson.

The new victim of the host club seemed rather cute. At least that was the first thing that popped into Chloe's head when Jesse ushered Mitchell in. Soft brown hair, not too long but not short either, cascaded down to her shoulder. The glasses that Emily claimed was once used by the poor soul was replaced with contacts. Really the only point of confusion was why they gave her Barden's male uniform.

"Just play along with it." Luke said with a wink as he passed her by.

Chloe opened her mouth, about to ask what kind of nonsense the club was trying to pull again but then Amy and Donald approached them silently and looking quite bashful from their little trip to the changing room.

"Okay, how blind can you all be not to realize?" Chloe then asked, trying to keep her voice low just as Jesse had picked up his prized protégé, or so he claimed, and ushered her to meet girls who were already gushing about the new host.

Aubrey sighed as she sat down next to Chloe. "I forget that man moves fast."

Chloe wasn't entirely sure what Aubrey meant but Aubrey did keep muttering something about how she would be the perfect person their new host could interact with before Swanson threw her to the vultures.

But apparently they weren't quick enough and to the vultures it was.

Emily soon joined them after pestering Mitchell to try the cake the club had just started to serve wearing the same expression that Amy and Donald had been wearing earlier. She immediately covered her face with her hands as she tried to cover up her embarrassment, clearly the host club was discovering their error one by one.

Chloe chuckled, shifting her attention back to the new host. She seemed quite comfortable in the uniform, a natural really that she wouldn't have guessed it herself. She has spotted the new student once or twice since school started, always trying to avoid the crowds. She had wanted to approach her once at the courtyard, there was just something about her that Chloe couldn't help but be mesmerized, but then a group of boys from the soccer club started passing the ball from each other, fooling around, before the ball eventually knocked off the bottle of water Mitchell had.

The moment had passed and she disappeared, leaving Chloe a little disappointed. She was sure she would run into her at some point, Chloe couldn't help but think that she needs a friend and who better but her.

But Chloe most certainly did not think that they would meet again this way.

At the mercy of the shenanigans the host club almost always pull off.


Beca had just about talked to four or five girls already over tea and cake. She's had a cup of chamomile with two of her classmates who she had talked to for the first time over the strawberry shortcake Emily kept insisting her to try. She's had a cup of earl grey next with the chocolate malt cake that Lilly decided to serve with a senior girl. Then she had a cup of her newly bought instant coffee with a fresh slice of black forest cake.

Really her whole afternoon had transformed into cakes and tea and coffee and girls.

Overall it wasn't bad, she didn't expect herself to be enjoying herself. But she had to admit… the luxury of it all, it's quite overwhelming.

How could these high school students all afford this!?

Damn, rich bastards.

Just after entertaining her last 'princess', as Jesse kept repeating to her every after five minutes and much to the chagrin of the current 'princess' he was entertaining, Beca pretty much had enough of it. She really just wanted to study before her last class of the day. Granted, since she opted out of gym class, an actual option these students had, she still had about half an hour to get some reading done.

She was looking for where her bag had gone to, certain she had left it somewhere near the group of tables near the couch where Jesse was but it had disappeared. She was trying to figure out if she had accidentally misplaced it when she looked out of the only open window and saw that her bag, and it's contents, were all scattered in one of Barden's massive fountains.

Beca sighed. "Who knew bullying existed in this place too?" she mumbled to herself as she resigned to her fate.

It wasn't hard to find most of her things from the shallow waters of the fountain. Having rolled up the cuffs of her pants and removed her shoes and socks, Beca treaded the water carefully looking for each and every item in her bag pack. Down to the last mechanical pencil.

She'd been carefully sloshing through the water for a good five minutes to find the last missing item – her wallet – when she heard a soft voice asking her "Would you like some help?"

Beca turned around, her eyes meeting the most mesmerizing ocean blue eyes belonging to a redheaded girl with a dazzling smile.

"I… I think I've got this." Beca replied and she shook her head.

"Looks like you need some help." she replied in truth before kicking off her own shoes and grabbing hemlines of her yellow dress – Barden's female uniform – and stepped into shallow waters.

"You'll get wet!" Beca protested amused as the redheaded girl disregarded her claims.

"Well, people did say I'm dripping with good looks." she replied with a wink, leaning down to reach for something in the water. "Is this what you were looking for?" she asked holding up her prize, a brown leather wallet looking worse for wear.

Yeah, Beca really needed a new one.

"Yeah, thanks." Beca replied.

"You're welcome. My name is Chloe by the way. I believe they call you…"

"Hey Mitchell! Skipping host club duties is not allowed." they heard Jesse call out. "Oh hey Chloe, Aubrey was wondering where on earth you disappeared to."

"Sorry about that, needed to help out your new host here." Chloe said, stepping out of the fountain, Beca close behind to help her out.

"Why in earth are your things wet Mitchell?" Jesse then asked rather confused.

"Figured they needed to be washed." she replied sarcastically leaving Jesse even more confused.

It did earn her a chuckle from Chloe so that was a bonus point.


Jesse had been lecturing the new host all the way back to the music room much to Chloe's dismay. She thought they could talk some more. And just as Jesse was done giving her pointers to be a more effective host, he had ushered her to the couch, and introducing the girl he himself had been entertaining earlier. She didn't look to keen meeting the new host and Chloe could guess that Mitchell – she really ought to get her first name – could sense the animosity too.

"You know if you stare harder our new host is going to melt. And all before getting the pleasure of knowing you." Aubrey had said, joining her best friend.

"Someone threw her things out of the window Bree. Did you notice who? Poor thing had to search the fountain for her things." Chloe then said with genuine concern.

"That's terrible, who would do such thing?" Emily then said rejoining their group with Lilly, who, in turn, glared over the girl their new host was currently talking too.

"I personally didn't see anything Chlo." Aubrey then replied before they heard a scream. Chloe immediately turned her attention to where Mitchell was. She was standing up, after presumably falling down, trying to clean up the mess of the tea that had spilled all over the uniform she was wearing.

The 'princess' Jesse had bene entertaining earlier and who was now Mitchell's guest started rambling on and on about how she was a 'heathen without manners' who attacked her.

A deep well of anger was rising within Chloe, one she didn't even know was there, all prompted by the outlandish accusations she was hearing.

But all of that rambling died down when Amy poured the rest of the tea pot's contents on her head to get her to shut up. "Sorry but we didn't really Mitchell doing anything, did you Donald?"

"Nope." Donald replied.

"Neither did I." Flo, one of the guests Beca had entertained earlier had said.

"Yup, Mitchell was all but a gentleman." Jessica then said before turning to her best friend, "Right Ash?"

"Yeah, both here and in our class." Ashley then seconded.

"Well, it looks like we only have one problem here." Jesse then said gathering everyone's attention. He helped the fair haired lady up before looking at her disappointed. "We only serve people who are beautiful on the outside but on the inside as well."

"Right, witches are bad for business." Aubrey then said, standing up from where she had been seating next to Chloe.

And the 'evil princess' was ousted from Music Room No. 3 for all the days to come.


"Okay, but why is she still here." Jesse asked, presumably pointing at someone.

"What? You invited me to join the host club myself, Swanson, and though I declined you also offered me privileges. I'm exercising those privileges." she heard Chloe say.

Which was enough to make Beca blush a little. She wasn't sure it would be right to step out of the booth in the changing room wearing the appropriate Barden uniform she was supposed to be wearing to begin with. Amy handed it to her with a wink as soon as she and Emily ushered her in, everyone else handling the guests outside.

Beca stepped out the booth uncertainly, shyly looking up to the faces that greeted her.

"Well what do you know? A host and a princess in one!" Luke had beamed with a grin.

"Wh-wh-wha…" Jesse started mumbling before covering his face in embarrassment. In truth he looked like he was about to have a stroke. "Did you all knew!?"

"From the very start." Aubrey noted.

"It was made obvious soon enough." Luke admitted while Lilly nodded.

"Our eyes weren't fooled!" Amy lied and Donald seconded.

"We might have made a mistake." Emily then said, "But the truth was soon made evident."

"But she's a girl!" Jesse protested. "She can't be a host!"

"Ah, sorry to burst your bubble there pres, but we're also girls and we are hosts." Amy points out as she waved her hands to Lilly, Aubrey, Emily and herself.

And once again Chloe chuckled, highly amused with the current situation.

Making it easier for Beca to enjoy herself as well.

"But she can't be a host to other girls!?" Jesse screamed about to lose his mind from the errors of his mistakes.

"It will be fine. She's already very popular and soon enough she'll be able to pay off her debts with the vase she broke." Aubrey then said.

"She'll still have to pretend to be a guy though. We already introduced her as a guy to the rest of the school. I mean, granted no one else knew before." Luke then said.

"Nah, no one will notice. She was pretty much invisible before." Donald said, chiming in.

"Wait, why do I still have to pretend to be a guy?" Beca asked rather confused.

"Pay attention Mitchell, we kind of already introduced you as a guy and the girls are clamoring over you… we don't want them to get more confused." Amy replied.

"You're making them more confused!" was Beca's quick retort.

"Well, your popularity with the ladies is unprecedented, so again, if you want to pay off the debt fast…" Aubrey then said.

"But she disagrees. She thinks it's a bad idea herself." Jesse tried to argue.

"Well, if I do get to pay off that vase faster…" Beca then said thoughtfully.

"But people on campus will mistake you for a boy!" Jesse said incredulously all while Emily was trying to calm her down.

"Listen, Swanson, I don't really care whether you guys recognize me as a boy or a girl. In my opinion it's more important for a person to be recognized for who they are rather than for what sex they are."

"Pardon Jesse's over the top reactions. Now onto more important things, we can't call you Mitchell forever, what's your first name?" Chloe then asked in the midst of Jesse's wailing and supposed sounds of despair.

"Beca, my name is Beca." Beca replied with a light smile.

"Ugh, why can't it be a gender neutral name, this would be easier to pull off if it was." Donald complained.

"No, think about it. Celebs are naming baby girls with traditionally used boy names and vice versa, we can just claim that Beca's parents are chic and ahead of their times even as poor people." Emily then suggested and everyone else agreed.

"You know, you could at least drop it with the poor people thing…" Beca muttered but no one else seemed to hear her.

"You'll get used to them, I promise. They only mean well." Chloe then said, grabbing Beca's hand and giving it a squeeze. ""I'm happy to officially meet you Beca."

"Me too." Beca replied.

Although at that time, she just didn't know by how much.