Chapter 01: You Don't Turn 32 Every Day
"Happy birthday, auntie Nyssa!"
The woman turned around when she heard the fake high pitched, childish voice, to find Tommy standing in the doorway, grinning while holding a month old baby. She smiled back and walked around the island, hugging the man with one arm so as not to crush the baby between them "Thank you, Thomas"
"Here, she's been missing her aunts" Tommy said, carefully handing his daughter to her.
Nyssa grinned and adjusted the baby in her arms, using her thumb to softly rub her forehead "Hello, beautiful"
"Well, hello to you, too, gorgeous" Laurel answered from the doorway, making her laugh "Happy birthday"
"Thank you, Laurel" she returned the woman's hug with one arm "And thank you for being here this evening"
"Are you kidding? We would never miss your birthday!" the man responded smiling "By the way, here" he held out a bag from a clothing store "Laurel picked it. I know you said you didn't want presents, but, c'mon; it's not a birthday without them"
"Or cake" Sara said from the doorway.
"Or cake" Tommy agreed grinning.
"Or booze"
"Or booze"
"Again, it was not necessary, but thank you" Nyssa said, interrupting them, knowing the list could go on forever with the two of them. She took the present and shifted her body when Sara extended her arms, silently asking to hold her niece.
"Hi, baby" the blonde cooed once she had her in her arms, grinning when the baby grasped her finger as she stared up at her with her big green eyes "Auntie Sara missed you so much"
Laurel chuckled, standing next to her sister and looking down at her daughter "You saw her two days ago"
"But I didn't yesterday" her younger sister pointed out, looking up at her for a second, then back down at the baby, and quickly back up at her sister's chest when her brain registered something that caught her attention "What the hell is going on with your boobs right now?!"
Laurel groaned and sat down, rubbing her forehead "They're killing me, you have no idea. She's having a particularly difficult day today. She refuses to eat, no matter how hard we try"
"See, a child of mine would never do that" Sara pointed out smirking "For several reasons"
"Don't make me punch you, Sara"
The youngest Lance laughed and looked back at her niece as she asked "Is that normal, though? Did you call your doctor?"
"Yes" her sister said trying not to groan again in pain and frustration "And apparently, it's normal, within reason"
"We're still in the 'within reason' time frame" Tommy pointed out.
"Didn't mom get you a breast pump or whatever? Can't you just use that?" Sara asked, noticing the way her sister glared at her husband.
"Tommy broke it"
"It was an accident!"
"What did you do?" the blonde asked smirking and bouncing the baby when she started fussing.
"I was trying to figure out how it worked"
"On himself" Laurel pointed out.
Nyssa laughed and shook her head, but remained silent otherwise, unlike her wife, who chuckled and asked "Dude, what's wrong with you?"
"I was bored, okay?" he said, folding his arms and leaning back against the wall "Laurel scared me and I dropped it"
"Trust me, I was more scared than you after seeing that" his wife pointed out "Anyway, we're getting a new one tomorrow. In the meantime, either she starts eating or I'll start crying"
"Can't he just…" Sara started asking, jerking her head in the man's direction as she looked at her sister "...you know, be a human pump and help you out?"
"For the record, I offered" Tommy pointed out "But she wouldn't let me go anywhere near those"
"You are not touching my breasts, Merlyn, get over it and move on"
"See? She's being unreasonable"
"You don't let him touch 'em? Like, ever?" Sara asked, her gaze going back and forth between her sister and Tommy.
"Not since Becca was born" he was the one to answer her question.
The blonde gasped and looked at her sister "You haven't let him touch your boobs in over a month?!" then she turned to her wife with a panicked expression "You wouldn't do that to me if we have kids, right?"
Nyssa chuckled wholeheartedly and shook her head "I do not believe I'm capable of such thing, beloved. Not even if I actively tried. You are incredibly persuasive and I would cave in a matter of seconds"
"Thank God" the blonde sighed relieved before staring back at her sister "You need to chill, Laurel; you're being extremely cruel to the poor bastard"
"You think so?" the other woman asked, the sarcasm noticeable in her tone "Get back to me on that whenever one of you gets pregnant"
"Wow" Sara mouthed looking at Tommy, then mumbled "Good luck with that, dude"
"If you wanna keep being able to see your niece, mind your own boob-business" Laurel said frowning, making her sister immediately shut up and focused on the baby again.
"Listen up, Becks, before everyone gets here: you gotta remember I'm your favorite aunt, okay? Your aunt Thea is gonna try to convince you otherwise, but you and I will know the truth" she bent down and kissed her forehead "It'll be our secret. So if you ever need me, you call me and I'll be right there, no matter what your mommy and her mean boobies say. Oh, and by the way, if you wanna start eating again, that would be great. Especially for your daddy"
Nyssa smiled and leaned back against the counter, folding her arms "What about me?"
"What about you?" her wife asked, looking at her with a frown on her face.
"Why can't I be her favorite aunt?"
"Fine" the blonde rolled her eyes and looked down at her niece "Auntie Nyssa can be your favorite, too"
"Thank you for your generosity, beloved"
"You're welcome"
Before Nyssa could say anything else, Lourdes walked into the kitchen, briefly greeting Laurel and Tommy, before looking at the baby "She is so beautiful"
"Thank you" Laurel said proudly.
"That's 'cause she looks just like her mommy" Tommy charmingly pointed out, trying to score some points after the breast pump incident, but only getting a murderous glare from his wife.
"She does" Lourdes agreed, then looked at Sara "Oh, almost forgot, I came here to tell you something: the Waverider is hovering over the backyard…" she stated, using her thumb to point at the window over the sink "...can you please tell Mr. Hunter I have neighbors?"
"What the f—"
"Sara" Nyssa interrupted her, nodding at the baby.
"Sorry, sorry" the blonde handed the baby to her sister and walked out the kitchen, followed by her wife.
They stepped outside, where Saracon was already standing next to the grill, looking up at the massive ship hovering over them "Your friends sure know how to make an entrance" the man pointed out, folding his arms and smirking.
Nyssa laughed while Sara took her phone out of her pocket and scrolled down her contacts, finally dialing a number "Dude, the hell is wrong with you? This is fucking 2017, UFOs are not a regular thing yet!" she paused, listening to the other side for a few seconds "Yes, I can see you, and so can everyone else!"
A few seconds after that, the ship immediately disappeared and the blonde hung up her phone "I'm so sorry" she said looking at Saracon.
The man just laughed and shrugged, reaching for a half empty beer bottle and taking a sip "If Mrs. Baker comes asking questions, I'll deny everything and tell her she's hallucinating"
The blonde laughed and took the beer Saracon was offering her "You'd do that to a sweet old lady ?"
Nyssa scoffed "Sweet old lady?" she asked incredulously "I believe she is still trying to decide the main reason why she hates my mother: either because she is half Asian, half Russian, or a single mother"
"Oh, yeah! That was a fun day!" Sara said laughing, and soon Saracon started laughing with her.
"She also pointed out you and I will most surely burn in hell for all eternity"
"To be fair, we did have sexual intercourse before marriage" the blonde said half smirking "I've been told Jesus frowns upon that"
Saracon mock gasped in shock "Sinners!"
"Hey, at least we'll be together in hell" she shrugged and took a sip of beer, then asked her wife "Wanna go make out in her front yard? I can get obscenely gropey"
The brunette chuckled and shook her head "As tempting and romantic as that sounds, I will have to decline, beloved"
"Offer still stands"
"Perhaps later"
"I'll make sure to get you nice and drunk"
"Please, do not"
Saracon laughed and looked at his sister "You don't turn thirty-two every day, sister. Have some fun, have a few drinks, go make out with your wife in front of racist, homophobic old ladies"
"See? Even your big brother says so" Sara clinked her bottle with Saracon's and they both laughed again.
"This is what I get for befriending Laurel" Nyssa mumbled shaking her head.
"Hey, where's… half-everyone?" Sara asked as she walked out and looked around the backyard. She was carrying four full bottles, all with different contents, all alcoholic. Oliver walked right behind her, carrying as many six-packs as his hands and arms allowed him to.
"All responsible and easily embarrassed parents left while you were getting more booze" Felicity explained, her words sounding slightly slurred "Now come to mama!" the blonde hacker paused and held her hand up "I was talking to the alcohol, not you, I'm not your mama"
Nyssa snorted and almost choked on her drink, elbowing Felicity, before both of them started laughing together.
"You really did get her drunk" Saracon observed as he got up to help them with the bottles.
"Toldcha" Sara smirked "Next step, making out in front of Mrs. Baker's house"
They approached the outdoor table and heard the argument that was taking place between two of the half-drunk men sitting there.
"Assuming that's possible…" Cisco said tapping his chin with one finger "...how would you make it work? Can you manipulate DNA like that?"
Curtis moved his beer out of the way so he could look at the napkin where he was writing before "I don't know man, that's the problem. We would need… what? A geneticist, right? But I mean, if we make it work, might as well do it as close as possible to the real process, don't you think?"
"I have to say, that would be insanely cool" Cisco said grinning "Can you imagine? It would change…" he trailed off, thinking of the best way to finish that sentence "...well, lives"
"I so wanna work on that" Curtis said excitedly.
"We have to find a way to synthesize it, first" Cisco nodded enthusiastically "At least run some tests or something, see if it actually works"
Felicity opened a new beer bottle and rolled her eyes "It can totally be done, what kinda nerds are you?" she reached for the napkin and looked down at it for a few seconds "Use Ray's nanotech to emule this and carry everything after it's synthesized…" she circled something "...and then just a random timed electric discharge to activate—or not—this after roughly…" she paused, pursing her lips while doing the math in her head "...two-thousand, one-hundred and sixty hours..." then circled another part and wrote something down "...and boom" she handed the napkin back "The two of you are an embarrassment. I'm totally drunk and was able to come up with a solution. Now I wanna work on that 'cause it would be so cool if we actually manage to do it; whoever's interested, come to my office tomorrow when we're sober. Especially you, Cait, I'm gonna need you and your input on this"
"Of course!" Caitlin said smiling, sounding considerably sober than the rest of them "I definitely want to be a part of it"
"You really think it can be done?" Cisco asked her.
"Actually, yes" Caitlin shrugged smiling "Thanks to Dr. Palmer's nanotech. That's actually the hardest part and he already figured it out. Bio part should be easier for a specialist, Felicity is right" she added, pointing to a particular formula.
Sara looked at her wife as she placed the bottles on the table and frowned "What are they talking about?"
The brunette smirked and reached for the woman's hips as she turned her chair sideways, pulling her closer so she could stand between her legs "I have no idea, I blocked them out about two minutes in and engaged in conversation with Mr. Allen and Ms. West"
Her wife laughed end bent down to kiss her softly, then opened one of the bottles and refilled Nyssa's glass, along with her own.
"If it works, you'll be thanking me one day, mark my words" Felicity said looking at both women "Why do people say that? Mark my words? I feel like the villain in an old movie"
Sara laughed and shook her head, then looked down and focused on her wife again. She gasped in awe at her beauty when Nyssa looked up at her half smiling, and couldn't fight the impulse to bend down and kiss her slowly while Barry and Iris discretely smiled at each other and looked away, trying to give them some sort of privacy.
After a few minutes, the blonde broke the kiss and held Nyssa's hand, pulling her up. She grabbed one of the bottles and dragged her wife to a darker part of the extensive backyard, backing her up against a tree before she started kissing her neck.
"For a moment I thought you would drag me to Mrs. Baker's front yard"
Sara chuckled and moved back, looking into the brunette's eyes and shaking her head "Tempting, but I don't feel like performing in front of an audience right now and I really, really wanted to keep kissing you" she explained, then drank straight from the bottle she had snatched before.
"Thea and Mr. Harper had the same idea"
"Huh?"
Nyssa jerked her head in the direction of a different tree several feet ahead of them; they barely managed to see the young couple leaning against it while making out in the dark.
"I guess we all had a couple of very stressful weeks. At least they won't interrupt us" the blonde pointed out, and gasped when she felt Nyssa's soft, warm lips kissing up her neck "How drunk are you?"
"Does it matter?"
Sara moved her free hand to the back of her wife's head, pulling on her hair and looking into her darkening eyes "No, but I'm pretty wasted and you know how I get" she slurred out.
"That makes two of us" the brunette said in a low, husky voice, lifting the bottle still in Sara's hand and drinking from it, before going back to kiss the other woman's neck.
Roughly pulling on her hair again, Sara kissed her deeply, biting her lip before releasing it. She sneaked one hand under her wife's shirt, teasing her over her bra at the same time she licked and nipped down her throat.
"Sara" Nyssa gasped, tilting her head back.
"Mm?"
"We are in public"
"No one can see us" the blonde mumbled, sucking on her pulse point, eliciting a soft moan.
"This is my mother's house"
"She's already in bed"
"Oh, God" Nyssa breathed out when she felt a bite "We need to go somewhere private" she moved back and looked into her wife's eyes before adding sternly "Right now, Sara"
"Shit" Sara groaned "Babe, can you turn off the light?"
"I believe that is the sun, beloved" the brunette mumbled, pulling the covers over her head "I cannot turn off the sun"
The blonde whined pitifully and turned around, burying her face in her pillow "Well who the fuck left the blinds open?"
"I don't even remember how we managed to get back home, let alone recall why are the blinds open"
"Well, shit"
"Indeed"
Sara laughed and scooted closer to her wife, wrapping one arm around her waist and kissing her bare shoulder "You really don't remember how we got home?"
Nyssa wrapped one arm around the other woman and shook her head "No. The last thing I remember is breaking into the Waverider so we could be alone. I do not recall coming home, or whatever we did to cause this incredible mess around us" she said once she was able to open her eyes and look around their bedroom.
Not only were their clothes from the previous night scattered around, but Sara's favorite chair was tipped over along with its ottoman, the heavy dresser looked like it had been dragged to the side and now rested at a weird angle with most drawers open, an empty bottle of scotch was lying on the floor, and she spotted Sara's underwear hanging from the railing.
The blonde chuckled and blindly patted her wife's body before lifting the covers and looking down at their naked bodies "Well, I don't remember either, but it looks like we had some serious fun"
Nyssa laughed and stretched as best as she could with the blonde's head resting on her shoulder "Feels like it, too"
"Yeah?" Sara tilted her head up and kissed the woman's jaw "Are you sore?"
"Yes" she smiled and kissed the blonde's forehead "Although, nothing compared to our honeymoon"
Sara laughed and immediately winced in pain as she rubbed her temple with the heel of her hand "Fuck, how much did we drink last night?"
They both got startled when something started vibrating aggressively between them "If that is what I think it is, it would explain a lot" the brunette said lifting the covers and looking between the tangled sheets.
"It's my phone, babe" her wife said chuckling when she finally found it.
"Oh, nevermind, then"
"Barry?" Sara asked as she answered her phone "What's up?"
Nyssa laid back down, pulling the covers over her naked body and looking at her wife frown in confusion.
"Okay…? Why are you here, tho?" the blonde paused, looking even more confused than before "You did? She did?" she glanced at the other woman and shrugged "Sure, gimme a sec"
Sara hung up her phone and placed it on her nightstand. Getting up, she started going through one of the open drawers of the dresser while explaining "Barry and Iris are here. Apparently they drove us home last night and you told them to swing by this morning to make sure we were okay and didn't die of dehydration" she explained, finding nothing to wear in her drawer and going through Nyssa's.
She found one of her wife's silk robes and put it on, turning to look at her again "You: shower" she used her thumb to point at the bathroom door "I'll let them in and join you in a minute"
Nyssa sighed and reluctantly got up, staring at the blonde as she walked down the stairs "No funny business, though, beloved. I am already quite uncomfortable as it is"
Sara laughed and looked up at the woman, who was now standing completely naked by the railing "Just go, promise I'll be good"
"You always are" the brunette said suggestively before disappearing in the direction of their bathroom.
"Damn, woman; not making it easy for me right now" the blonde mumbled to herself before reaching for the door "Hey, guys"
Iris smirked, arching one eyebrow as she looked her up and down "Dig the look. So, you guys had fun last night?"
Sara laughed and stepped aside, letting them walk in before closing the door "Good morning to you, too, sunshine"
"What happened here?" Barry asked looking around the loft, picking up an empty bottle of water from the floor "This was definitely not like this when we dropped you off last night"
"Wouldn't know, Bar"
He shoved his hands in his pockets and smirked "You honestly don't remember?"
"No…" the blonde shook her head apologetically "...and neither does Nyssa"
The man grinned and nodded in the direction of the stairs "Go shower, we'll catch you up once you're done"
"Thanks"
"Do you want some coffee or breakfast?" Iris asked looking around the kitchen "Pretty sure I can come up with something or send Barry on a bagel run"
"Actually, there's a glass container with some herbs, top shelf…" she pointed to one of the cabinets "...would you mind making some tea with those?"
"On it" the woman said smiling.
"And help yourselves to whatever you want, I know you're probably starving already" Sara said looking at Barry, who just smiled at her "We'll be back down in like ten minutes"
"Go, Sara, I've got this" Iris said giggling right before the blonde ran up the stairs.
Fifteen minutes later both former assassins walked down the stairs looking cleaner and more awake. Sara looked around the tidied up space and smiled at Barry, who was leaning back against the counter, casually eating a bagel "Thanks, Bar"
"No problem" he smiled back at her before turning his attention to Nyssa and greeting her with a smirk "Good morning, Mrs. Raatko. How are you feeling?"
"Should I attribute that smugness to the likelihood of me making a fool of myself last night?" the woman asked smiling and blushing at the same time, moving to sit at the island.
"Actually, I was surprised of how coherent you were while being so wasted"
Iris turned around handing them their tea and smiled "You were discussing dehydration with Barry in the car, I couldn't even keep up, and I wasn't half as drunk as you were"
"Car?" Sara asked taking a sip of her tea and grimacing at the taste "Wouldn't it have been faster if, you know…" she mimicked running with her fingers and made a whooshing sound.
"Yes, but you told me there was a chance you might throw up on me, and Nyssa said she doesn't like being carried and threatened to break my legs if I did it without her consent" Barry explained pouring himself a cup of coffee "I wasn't feeling like risking either"
"Fair enough" the blonde shrugged and nodded "Thanks, guys"
"You're welcome" Iris sat down in front of them with her own cup of coffee and smirked "So, you really don't remember anything?"
"Nope, wanna help with that?"
"Well, I don't know how much we can actually help, but—" Barry started, but was interrupted by Iris.
"So, apparently you decided to break into the Waverider for some birthday sexy fun time"
"That is the last thing we both remember" Nyssa said nodding and blushing.
"I'd say you succeeded, because Gideon had to alert Captain Hunter you were on board before he took off" Barry explained with an amused smile on his face.
"They're both assassins, Bar, of course they can pull it off" his girlfriend pointed out rolling her eyes "Anyway, he said he found you guys in your bedroom and you…" she pointed a finger at Sara "...told him to fuck off"
"That was the official story, we weren't there" the man explained smiling.
"Sounds like something I would do, tho"
"I have no problem believing that" Nyssa said smiling and rubbing her wife's back.
"You told us Nyssa wouldn't let you punch him for interrupting"
Sara snorted and kissed the woman's shoulder "Thank you for that"
"So we offered to drive you home" Barry continued "You know, after you both made very strong cases against me using my speed to get you here"
Nyssa chuckled and nodded "I apologize for that, Mr. Allen"
"Nyssa, please, call me Barry"
"Or you can call him Bartholomew" Sara suggested smirking.
The man immediately smiled and shook his head "Don't call me Bartholomew"
"It is your name, is it not?"
He arched one eyebrow "If you call me Bartholomew, I'll pick you up right now and carry you around for everyone to see. Including Oliver"
"As you wish, Barry" she conceded bowing her head, making him chuckle.
"Anyway" Iris continued, grinning as she looked back and forth between the two women "We drove you home, you thanked us, asked for us to check on you this morning because you were really worried about dehydration, and then told us to leave because you were about to have sex with your wife, with or without us here"
"Sara!" Nyssa hissed embarrassingly, glaring at her wife.
"No, not Sara…" Iris corrected her grinning "...you said that, Nyssa"
