A/N) Hello. It's been ages since I last wrote, huh. -looks around- Things definitely have changed.
I don't know. This may give you feels or something, I don't really know.
Title's really random and something.
.o: It's Okay To Cry :o.
Phantom trailed his fingers over the blond hair painted onto the canvas, smiling softly. He had remembered the time when he had actually did just that to the real, live human being that he had loved. His smile eventually faded as he realized how he was acting; why was the dreaming over a portrait? He felt so annoyed by this, how he was acting like a love struck man.
Maybe the love never faded.
He blinked, remembering the time when she had placed a forget-me-not into his hand. He remembered watching the small flower spin from the gentle wind in his palm and float to the floor as if on an airy cushion. He remembered giving her roses day after day, professing his love for her. Tulips too - she had liked tulips, how their petals seemed to stick right up in attention. And he also remembered the grin she gave him after she had accepted them.
She had known she was going to die, that very night - she had told him not to forget her. She knew her death - she accepted it. So why couldn't he? He wasn't her. She faced her own death with bravery - as a true empress would.
But he was no emperor. He couldn't deal with the death of his queen. So he had turned back to thievery - and that was how he found him. Him with the brown hairstyle, with cyan eyes filled with sensitivity and calmness. The scholar that had accepted him before anyone else on the team. He could remember the white-haired warrior's disapproving eyes, and how the elf queen stood up and yelled.
And he also remembered the gray-haired man that glared passively towards him. But Freud. Freud had been always peaceful and serene - nothing fazed him, until that day... he would have laughed at the look of shock on the Dragon Master's face if he had truly been there... but it was a tragedy, and no one, not even a lowly thief, could bring himself to laugh at such a tragedy.
If only he had arrived sooner, he could have saved them. I couldn't save you. I'm sorry. He started to break down, knowing full well almost no one except one of high intelligence could break through his complicated lock. He wanted nothing more to see them again, to smile in joy at seeing those beautiful blond tresses fall over bright blue eyes, and the annoyed look on the scholar's face as he snatched the hairband off.
He wanted nothing to see them again, to feel joy, to love. If anyone said that a lowly thief like him didn't have feelings, they were wrong. Damned wrong. He wanted to love so badly, without the story ending in such tragedies. The Black Magician... Lotus... he hated them so much. But he couldn't blame them, even though they were the ones at fault for killing the people he had loved.
Because he wasn't there to save them. He wiped a gloved hand over his right eye, blinking in shock when it came away wet. Everything hit him, all at once - at how the deaths were partially his, and how much he wanted to see them again. He collapsed to his knees, wanting nothing more to curl up and cry. No one did that - not a thief like him - but he just kneeled there, crying in disbelief and anger. So much anger.
Anger at himself, anger at Lotus, anger at the Black Magician. Why couldn't he love? Why couldn't he enjoy a peaceful story with the people he had wanted? Why was fate so cruel to him...?
He felt a pair of arms wrap around him - the warmth seeping through his clothes. He blinked, furiously, knowing exactly who had broken in without his permission. He was about to scream at the man until he heard his voice. His purple eyes - his Alexandria's Genesis eyes - met heterochromia red and blue.
"It's okay." Phantom blinked again, allowing the tears to slip through again. The other man spoke again. "It's... okay to cry." Luminous' voice was strangely caring, filled with warmth, and Phantom just knew that he had never inspected the magician's voice before. It was like with Freud, with Aria... but this time, he was alive. He was aliveand well.
He curled into Luminous' arms and started to cry, harder this time, his wails filling the room. "It's just not fair! Why did... they... have to... die...?!"
"I know, Phantom. I know." Luminous' voice paused, seemingly in hesitation, before he continued. "It's just that... I know that someone's always there for you, even though they seem like they aren't. I... I'm here for you.
"So it's okay to cry."
A/N) This is somewhat based off me and my friends... you know... the ones that are actually there. The ones that are there for me. I remember one of them saying, "That's it? You're giving up that easily?"
It's kind of stupid, but those words really helped me in ways I can't comprehend. I just know they've taken me off the edge of death. They threw away the key to death's door and pushed me back to life.
Alexandria's Genesis - A rare genetical mutation that turns a person's eyes purple.
Heterochromia - a genetical mutation that can either switch a person's eye or hair color.
You can look those mutations up if you like. I'm off!
