I'll Always Remember You

It's funny how every hello always ends with a goodbye. Goodbyes were not something I was always fond of. Personally, they suck. I've had too many in my life come up way too soon. Some even death related. But things eventually got better with time. This goodbye though; wasn't one I planned on happening so soon. See, I grew up loving music. So when this audition came along for a TV show that included singing and being in a 'band', I knew I had to go for it. Little did I know that what I thought would just be a television gig, would soon become my life. Singing was my life. I loved every part of it. At first, I kind of only saw myself as a solo type person, but I was wrong in so many ways. I grew attached to what became my second family. Sure, we had our fights, but every family is like that. These guys grew a special place in my heart. One that will be there for a lifetime. My name is Carlos Pena Jr., and this is me telling you about how Big Time Rush, the band that changed my life, came to an end.

To be honest with you, I don't think any of us saw this coming. But in the end, it was for the best. The show ended last year, and it was an amazing five seasons. I couldn't ask for a more perfect cast. Everyone grew to love each other, and we were all pretty much a family. It was pretty much a mutual decision to keep the band going, we all loved it and didn't want it to end so abruptly. Albums three and four came out, and finally the one thing we all wanted: a world tour. And let me tell you, it was a life-changing experience seeing fans from all over the world sing along to our songs. It felt amazing knowing that we could change so many people's lives with just the simple words of a melody. After the world tour, we really didn't know where to go from there. I mean, we loved being in a band, but we were getting older, and things were changing. So we decided on a band that this was it. That Big Time Rush was going to end. We obviously had a few farewell concerts across the US; and it was a bittersweet moment. As the last song ended and our speeches were said, I couldn't help but shed a tear or two. Over the years, these guys have grown to be my brothers, and I can honestly say that I couldn't live without them. They never failed to make someone laugh or smile. They were truly amazing guys. Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to tell you about each of them. My band mates, my other halves, my brothers. The rest of Big Time Rush.

First we have Logan Henderson. The daredevil of the group. Now, I wouldn't underestimate this guy, he has a lot of potential in him. It's possible he could be shy at first, but you're totally wrong. He is one of the most spontaneous guys I've ever met. Especially around the ladies. He was definitely known as the 'flirt' of the group. His character on the show, Logan Mitchell, is pretty much the complete opposite of the real Logan. In the show, Logan plays the 'brains' of the group. His character was one to have commitment issues, but that's not the case in real life. Over time, Logan did find himself a really cool girl who he cherishes with all his heart, and they've been inseparable ever since. I'm really happy for him; he deserves the best in life. Logan and I have bonded over the years, and since we were the oldies of the group, he really felt like another brother to me. I'll never forget him.

Next we have James Maslow, the 'face' of the group. It's no doubt that he was always popular with the girls, but he never let that get to his head. James has always been a really humble guy; never forgetting where he came from. And I truly admire that about him. His character on the show, James Diamond, was also known as 'the face', but Diamond took that to the best advantage he could. James always said that he would treat his girl like a princess, and he wasn't kidding. His girlfriend that he has now is truly living the 'royalty' life. Never in my life have I seen a guy shower his girl in gifts, flowers and candy. I guess he knows a way to a girl's heart. James was always the one we all went to if we needed advice. He was like our own personal Dr. Phil, seeing as he knew what to say in every situation we asked him about. James was never one to judge anyone, no matter what mistakes they made in their life. He was there for me when I went through some rough times in my life. And I'm not just saying that because we always shared a bus on tour, but because he supported me no matter what. And no matter where this guy goes in life, I wish him the best of luck and I'll support him.

And last but not least, we have Kendall Schmidt. The said 'leader' of the group. Kendall was unique, don't get me wrong, but don't be too quick to judge him. Just because he has tattoos doesn't mean he isn't a softie. Kendall's compassion for music was beyond my reasoning, it was truly amazing how involved he was in writing and performing. Kendall found his way into the hearts of millions of people through his music; whether it was performing with the rest of BTR or through his covers on YouTube. He captivated the minds of many. Kendall was also known as one of the ladies men of the group; it was quite interesting seeing girls get weak in the knees from one of his hugs. He hasn't found a girl to fit into his life just yet, but I have a feeling she'll come along soon. Any girl would be lucky with that guy, seriously. Kendall and I, in my opinion, have bonded the most. He's like my twin. He never fails to make anyone laugh, especially me. I have a relationship with him that I'll never be able to forget.

As for me, there isn't much to say really. I mean, I was the oldest of the group, and you could say I was the loudest. The guys always said that even my smile could cure millions. But that's not why I'm sitting here talking to you. I'm here to talk to you about this lifetime opportunity I had. The guys and I will always have memories together that we'll never forget and I'll hold them in my heart forever; almost like a photograph. We all have our futures ahead of us, with bigger and better dreams. There were a few rough patches here and there, but these guys have touched my life. I know I'll see the guys again soon, and we'll just sit together and smile and laugh and cry about all of our memories together. But for now, I just have one thing to say to them: I'll always remember you.