Rick's Nightmare
Rating: M for language
Summary: Rick kills Shane. Or did he? Takes place during the events of "Better Angels" (Season 2 episode 12) Rick/Shane, AU, Angst, Same-Sex Pairing, Slash
"I'm a better man than you Rick. I'm a better father than you. But you just come back here and you just DESTROY everything!"
Rick stabs his best friend in the chest and blood pours seemingly endless from the wound. "This was you not me. You did this to us. This was you not me! Not me!" Rick sobs. Rick suddenly bolts up inside his tent. He hears laughter outside the thin nylon. It's Andrea and Carol. Breathing heavily, he reaches up to feel his forehead is soaked with perspiration. His sheets are soaked with sweat and his chest hair is matted and wet. He had fallen asleep in his tent. Herschel had given him some pain pills earlier because he was still sore from his fist fight with Shane. The pills hit him a lot harder than he thought they would and knocked him out cold. "It was just a bad dream, Rick." He says to himself reassuringly. He suddenly sees a figure appear at the tent's opening. He looks up to see Shane. His tight cargo pants tucked into his boots. His dark, curly hair all shorn off just like it was the day before.
"C'mon buddy, nap times over, we gonna do this now or what?"
"Shane, oh god Shane." He says as he jumps up from his sheets and hugs the man.
"Hey buddy what's got you all upset?"
Rick pulls away. "It's nothing I just….I had a dream."
"What?" Shane asks amused with a big grin on his face. "Aww c'mere buddy," Shane says as he pulls Rick back in for another hug. Rick squeezes Shane so tight he almost knocks the wind out of him. "Okay, okay buddy" Shane says laughing as he pulls away one last time. He places a hand on Rick's chest and teasingly runs his fingers through Rick's chest hair. "Jesus man your soaking wet"
" I know man I don't know what happened."
"What do you say you get dressed and we check on the prisoner?"
"Prisoner?"
"Randall dummy. Hello? earth to Rick," Shane says as he waves his hand in front of his best friend.
"Oh yeah right of course. Check on the prisoner."
After Rick gets dressed the two men head towards the barn where Randall is locked up. They unlock the door and look down at Randall, handcuffed and blindfolded. "We really gonna take him out again then and drop him off somewhere?" Shane says.
"Right idea last time poor execution." Rick says.
"Rick, you know how I feel about this but if this is what you want then you know I'm with you."
Rick pauses and looks at Shane. He can't take his mind off that horrible nightmare. "Shane you don't think you're a better man than me do you? A better father than me?"
"What?" Shane says with a confused smile on his face. "What's gotten into you today buddy?"
"It's nothing. I.." He stops and walks outside the barn waving at Shane to follow him. He slowly pushes the barn door closed, "Shane I think we need to talk."
"About what man."
"You know Lori's pregnant now and… and I think there's a good chance the baby might be yours."
Shane sighs, "I know.. Lori told me today she didn't even know whose baby it was."
"She said that?"
"Yeah"
Both men stand quiet for a moment in silence not knowing what to say. Rick breaks the silence first. "Shane, you know, if this baby is yours I…I want you to be a part of its life. I want you to be the daddy."
"Rick, I don't know what to say man. I was gonna say that if the baby is mine I want you and Lori to raise it as your own. Give it all the love you gave Carl."
"Shane you know I couldn't do that to you. Now lets just think about this logically for a second. If the baby is yours we should all raise it together."
"Rick, Lori told me if the baby is mine it's never gonna be mine. And that I'd just have to accept that. Now I know it will be hard for me. Shit man, more than hard it would kill me, but I just don't have any other choice."
"I can talk to Lori, Shane, reason with her. She'll come around, trust me."
"You know she did say she was sorry to me today."
"She did, when?"
"When you were asleep I was out fixing the windmill into a lookout like you wanted. She came out to me and told me she was sorry and thanked me for taking care of her and Carl. For getting them out of Atlanta safely. I told her she didn't have to thank me."
"Why did you tell her that?"
"Because I didn't do it for her…I did it for you brother."
Rick's face goes blank for a moment. He doesn't know what to say or do. He feels the tears well up in his eyes and he pulls Shane into him and hugs the man. Squeezing him for dear life. "Thank you Shane..for everything."
"Rick, it's okay man. He says as he returns the hug tightly and runs his hand over Rick's hair. His fingers curl into Rick's thick mane, "You know I wouldn't have done it for anyone else but you. You're my brother man, I love you."
Rick closes his eyes lids tight and tears start to flow freely down his cheeks now. "I love you Shane." He says through sobs. "You've done so much for me and I never even thanked you, not even once. Instead we've just been fighting and I've been so awful to you."
"Shh hey man you're not the only one now. You're not the one who threw a wrench at me" he says laughing. Rick just holds Shane tighter, buries his face into Shane's shoulder and sobs harder.
"Shhhh" Shane says as he comforts his best friend. "It's alright Rick, it's gonna be alright now. Jesus what did you dream about man?" Rick pulls away slowly and wipes his tears on his sleeve. "Oh it was nothing. Just a scary dream is all."
Shane reaches out and places the palm of his hand behind Ricks head. He runs his hand through Rick's hair again. "So soft" he says out loud.
Rick laughs. "Well, softer than yours at least" he says as he puts a hand behind Shane's head and feels the stubble from his buzzcut. They both laugh together when they hear a voice from inside the barn.
"Hey can I get some water here? I'm very thirsty" Randall says in a thick southern accent. Shane and Rick look at each other and almost crack up.
"What do you say we give the man some water?" Shane says.
"Alright fine." Rick says. "But then we gotta take him out again."
"Fine by me." Shane says.
