Love, Lindsay:
Summary: Lindsay decides to write letters, mailing them to all of her Total Drama competitors offering fashion tips! She even decides to surprise the contestants because a day after the letters, she go and visit them, and give them a make-over, THEN Chris and Chef see this and film Lindsay, trying to turn this into there newest reality show.
Disclaimer: I don't own Total Drama or it's characters.
Lindsay marvelled at what she held in her hand, though it was only a piece of possibly blank paper, she was grinning from ear to ear. Currently, she was sitting down, trying to find a magazine advert on TV, preferably starring her. Then she got bored, and an advert sparked an idea in her head. "Okay, so I'll send a letter to everyone contestant advising them on fashion tips, I'll start with, hmm, Jalapeno!" She smirked and rubbed her hands, together "This'll be nice." Lindsay got out a pen and started scribbling down words at such a fast pace, though her hand writing was still extremely neat.
Dear Jalapeno, I regret to inform you of your appalling fashion choices, like, appalling means rubbish, Right? But like anyway, seriously, Jalapeno? Red? Only Tyler can pull that off, and are you him? Ahem, are you?
...
...
Last time I checked, your not. Your looks are not fashion, you may have been like blush-worthy, but that's cause of your uhm, plastic surgery, at first I didn't believe Hannah, but then Beth explained she was correct, because you apparently had plastic surgery before that season, but it was a real brain stumper, and I got a migraine after figuring it out because...it went well! When has that happened? Like, never, just in case you didn't realize.
Plus, why do you have two watches on both hands? Jalapeno, if you can't tell the time, you can ALWAYS ask me, if I remember it. And black on black on black? Triple ew, plus, those tap dancing shoes are like so old.
Oooh, and your hair, like, what conditioner do you use, it's so wavy and girl-like! Just what I need!
Love, Lindsay
"Hmm, I have some spare time, maybe I could right one about that Az Maria?" Lindsay thought, "Yeah!" She grinned, rushing off, and returning a few moments later, with paper in hand. She began writing again.
Dear Az Maria, you're fashion are making me tear up, I mean, I am like sooo conflicted, purple is a great colour, but skin? So, last year, and those hoop earrings, are they like retro, like did you're mom given them to you? If so, don't ever take fashion advice from her again, because those earrings are ugly! No offence. Like, your belt is cool too!
Okay, so those pants, did you put them on as a joke and then you found that they were permanently stuck to your legs? No shame in admitting it, it happens to fat people. Also, those pants bring down what you have worked so hard for: Fashion perfection, they like ruin you're look and make me puke, but I mean this in the nicest way possible.
Oh, yeah and your shoes, like black and purple, it's a really sad color, I mean, sometimes it looks good, but the black just fades away, and black should NEVER fade away, so your shoes are also making you're look worse.
Hope you liked the letter,
Love Lindsay.
Days later, Alejandro opened his mail box, letters poured out, "Fain-mail. Always a delight." He saw one with large scribbles on it, and opened it. "Ah, Lindsay, must be complimenting my...PLASTIC SURGERY?!" Alejandro was a gape. "Heather?! Beth? I never talked to her!" Alejandro read on, "I can tell the time!" He insisted. Alejandro continued to read on and looked down at his shoes, "They don't look old, woah?! Wavy and girly?!" Alejandro ripped up the letter, "I don't need this!" Alejandro snarled. "Maybe, I should write a reply."
Alejandro nodded and walked into his house got out his laptop and began typing. "Who uses paper anymore?" He snorted.
Dear Lindsay,
I have received your letter, and with the utmost highest regard to you, you're analysing of my looks causes rifts with me, I would like to call you numerous bad names, and insult you, however being honourable, I choose not so seize the opportunity, and I hope you appreciate this decision.
Alejandro stopped, "To nice."
Please see below my "original" draft, containing profanity, insults and more!
Alejandro typed, and typed, when he was done he went and sent it. "Yes!" He heard a beep, "Sent to...Ann Maria and Lindsay? What?! How?" Alejandro gasped, scrambling for a way to delete the message. "Wait, maybe she'll realize it was meant for Lindsay."
Ann Maria was reading an email from Lindsay, when she was notified of another. "Oh! Another?! Hope this time it ain't hate-mail!" Ann Maria gasped, "FAT? FAT?!" Ann Maria screamed, "She best get her eye-sight checked! She wrong! She wrong! She wrong!"
Ann Maria clicked onto the other email, "Wut?" Ann Maria was dumbfounded, "Is he stupid? Do I look like a dumb blonde, or maybe he mistook blondie for me?! He probably did!" Ann Maria scrolled down, seeing the profanities her eyes widened. "Oh! They are asking for it now!"
Lindsay checked her emails, she currently clicked onto Alejandro's. "Hmm. Aw, he wants to call me?" Lindsay shook her head, "Oh, I am with Tyler. He should really know this." Lindsay scrolled down, she gasped. "Like, rude!" Lindsay gasped, "Maybe he doesn't understand my letter! I should visit him...and give him a make-over!" Lindsay cheered.
Lindsay heard knocks at the door, she rushed to it and opened it, seeing an angry Alejandro, she squealed and dragged him in, shutting the door behind her. "I can give you a make-over without even going over to your house!"
Alejandro's eyes widened. "What?"
When the make-over concluded, Alejandro didn't dare look in the mirror, he just walked out of Lindsay house and rubbed off anything she had applied on him. Lindsay snapped her fingers. "He didn't even enjoy it!" She shrieked, "Better luck next time." Lindsay grinned, "Next time. I could do this with everyone else! I'll just ask, ask, Sienna?"
Lindsay hopped onto her computer again, not knowing how much chaos this would actually cause.
