Hi! This story is a continuation of my first story, "Come On, I'll Drive You Home" (located at ). Thanks again to Tracy for her greatly appreciated beta work. Comments, as always, are welcome.

"A Moment in Her Presence"

By Joan Powers

Setting: post "Bloodlines"

Type: G/S romance

Rating: "R"

Summary: Grissom and Sara are finally going on their first date. But why is she more nervous than he is?

Sara stared at the clothes in her closet, trying to decide what to wear. She reached for a reveling low-cut black dress, and then changed her mind.

Too formal, I don't want to scare him off.

Maybe black pants with a sexy lace top? The outfit was somewhat more subtle, but still getting the message across. Or how about a miniskirt? She still had one or two cute ones and her legs looked great.

No, it's still too much for him. I don't want him to feel uncomfortable.

Actually she could probably wear regular work clothes and Grissom wouldn't care. If he didn't think she was attractive, he wouldn't have kissed her in the dark while she reeked of beer and her face was covered with tears. However, she wanted to make the evening special, though not be so different that things became awkward. She wasn't sure when Grissom's last foray into the dating world had been.

The black pants with the pink print top; that used to be one of her favorite outfits. That would be a good choice. It was flattering, still she felt comfortable in it. The black pants fit her snuggly, her legs looked long and sexy in them. And the colors of the bold print top nicely complemented her ruby red nail polish.

She got dressed then fixed her makeup and her hair. As she finished, she checked the clock. Damn, she still had plenty of time. She walked into her living room and turned on the TV, then sank into the couch and absently flipped through channels. Normally she preferred reading to television but she'd been having trouble concentrating these days.

This had been a hard week, a challenging week. And it wasn't over yet. Grissom had talked her into taking the week off and using the time for some intensive counseling sessions to discuss her past rape and current alcohol problems. It hadn't been fun.

On her first day home, she was pleased to clean up her apartment and get rid of all the alcohol. She was optimistic, she felt better. She even felt as if she'd accomplished something.

However she still wanted to have a drink, she hated that she felt that way. Her counselor had told her that it would take a while to deal with these emotions. She'd been using alcohol for so long to suppress her feelings, now that she was actually experiencing them full force, it was daunting, almost over whelming. Her counselor kept telling her that she had to "work through her problems," whatever that meant.

In the first five sessions, within a three-day period, she'd mainly discussed her feelings about her job and the cases at work which had greatly disturbed her. Although her counselor was fully aware of it, they hadn't yet discussed the rape in detail. She pointed out that Sara defined herself as a man does, primarily through success at her job rather than by her relationships. So when things weren't going well at work, she got extremely depressed.

Although, to be honest, the counselor might draw a different conclusion once they spoke about Grissom. Sara was fully aware that his rejection of her advances had catalyzed her downward spiral.

Still, she felt her problems with Grissom were resolving quite nicely. Although they hadn't had their date yet, nor had she seen him since the fateful night he drove her home, he hadn't been a stranger. He called her everyday, sometimes at odd hours, but he called. He was aware that she was going through a difficult time and he wanted to help her. Oddly enough, he seemed committed; she didn't get the feeling that he was going to bolt in fear again. Especially since he'd initiated most of their conversations.

As thrilled as she was that they actually had a relationship that was finally moving forward, she had some lingering doubts that she needed to discuss with him. She wasn't sure if she should wait until their relationship was stronger, or tell him tonight so they would start on the right footing. She didn't want to spoil the mood for the evening; she'd been fantasizing about this for years. She wanted everything to be perfect.

If only she could have a drink to calm her nerves, just one drink. She'd expressed herself so eloquently, hah, no, blatantly that night when she told Gil that she loved him. She hadn't been worried about the consequences of her actions and words. And she'd felt as if she'd nothing to lose. That wasn't true now.

Grissom was right; it's hard to say how you feel when you don't know how the other person will take it.

The doorbell rang, interrupting her thoughts. She checked the clock; it was still too early for Grissom. She rose to answer it.

"Delivery for a Miss Sara Sidle," a young man handed over a clipboard. "Sign here please."

After Sara complied, the young man picked up a vase filled with a dozen red roses, "Where would you like me to put this?"

She smiled

For all his bugs and hamburger experiments, this man has romantic potential.

"I'll take them, thanks."

After placing the vase on the coffee table so her flowers were in her direct line of vision, she buried her face in them, enjoying their heavenly aroma. She was surprised; this choice didn't seem characteristic of the man she knew. Then again, perhaps since he was eager to impress her, he must've asked the florist for advice. She noticed there was a card. It read:

Sara,

"A Moment in Her Presence"

By Anonymous

My life seemed so full and rich.

Then she came along,

with the light of her love

and the warmth of her smile

shinning like the sun.

She showed me that I'd been fooling myself.

What I thought was light, was actually darkness.

What I took for warmth, was ice cold.

What I felt had meaning, was only emptiness.

How could I bear to be in her presence,

knowing the coldness that awaited me afterwards?

My life would be unbearable,

How could I live with myself?

Yet to be without her is not to live at all.

So I believe it's better to spend even a moment

in the warmth of her presence

than to be forever in the darkness.

I want to walk into the warmth of the sun.

Can't wait to see you tonight.

Love,

Gil

Wow, she was stunned. Tears almost came to her eyes; it was the poem he'd referred to a few nights ago in his SUV, which described some of his fears and doubts about getting involved with her. Yet, she'd turned the tables on him by reminding him how it ended. It was their story, though she hoped it would last much longer than a moment. How Grissom-like to use someone else's words to express himself. She was surprised that he'd selected something so obscure yet so personal

And that token 'love' wasn't a token at all when Grissom was involved. Even the use of his first name implied a higher level of intimacy, which would be uncharacteristic for him. She felt tingly inside just thinking about him, she was dying to touch him again.

She was also more than a little nervous.

Finally, the doorbell rang. Her heart raced as she opened the door to admit Grissom.

"Hi" he said, smiling at her. He looked handsome, wearing a dark blue button-down shirt with gray slacks, along with a black jacket.

"Hi "she shyly replied. She had to remind herself to keep breathing normally.

And you were worried about him being nervous?

After she closed the door, Grissom confidently stepped towards her and kissed her, full on the mouth. It was nice. Sara began to relax as she enjoyed his kiss and wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders while feeling his body up against hers. He felt wonderful, he even smelled good.

Do we really have to eat first?

A moment later, he pulled back to say, "How are you?"

She replied, a little too fast, "Okay, kinda bored. Can't wait to get back to work." She leaned closer against him as she said, "I'm really glad to see you."

He smiled then walked into her living room, "I see you got the flowers."

"They're beautiful. Thanks." She felt like a total geek. She was so excited and nervous she didn't know what to do. "The poem was a nice touch."

"Thanks. It seemed appropriate." Grissom explained. He reached into his jacket pocket to remove a small brown paper bag. Somewhat awkwardly he handed it to Sara, "I believe..." he cleared his throat, "you asked me to bring...these."

She peaked inside. The hint of color on her cheeks became deeper. Just as she'd requested, he brought lots of condoms. "Let me put these where we'll have easy access later." She dashed into her bedroom.

Grissom called after her, "Where do you want to go for dinner?"

"How about Chinese?"

"So what does your counselor recommend?" Grissom asked as he ate his hot and sour soup.

"Pretty much the same things you've mentioned in the past. Get some outside interests. Cultivate more friendships, a better support group. Stuff like that." Sara answered. Her wonton soup was helping her relax a bit. Maybe she had been hungry.

"Any ideas?" he asked.

"I don't know. I've always been an avid reader. I guess I could investigate a new area. Or maybe I'll try something active, like hiking. Think you'd want to join me?"

He considered it, "Sure, that might be fun." He liked the outdoors. And if he was with Sara, he could justify not being in the lab.

He reached for her hand as they waited for the rest of their food to arrive. As their fingers intertwined, a shiver of excitement filled her body. She felt her face become flushed.

What is wrong with me? I feel like a teenager on a first date, this is embarrassing.

Her body felt like it was short-circuiting. Fortunately, Grissom had either not noticed her awkwardness or he was being uncharacteristically diplomatic.

"What about the alcohol?"

Damn, he would ask about that.

At least it was a good distraction from her raging hormones.

She explained, "I'm clean, but it's not as easy as I thought it would be. My counselor says that when you drink you're essentially putting off or postponing your feelings. Now they're all rushing back and it's a bit scary." That was an understatement.

He squeezed her hand, "I can imagine. Anything I can help you with?"

Yes.

She was afraid he'd think less of her. His opinion of her as a professional was also near and dear to her heart. "Um, do you think...would you mind if we discussed some of the cases when they bother me? Not at the office, of course. You wouldn't think I was too unprofessional?"

"Of course not." He affirmed. "Believe me, everyone has cases that get to them."

"What about you?" she asked.

"Sure, but I just try not to think about them," Grissom explained.

"Doesn't that technique backfire sometimes?" She smirked, knowing that this was one of his unsuccessful ways of coping with his attraction to her.

Knowing he was caught, he met her brown eyes and guiltily grinned, "Sometimes."

Their main course arrived, saving Grissom from further embarrassment.

End part 1/3