So a guest reviewer, CG85, sent me an amazing, long prompt about Jake and Ryder coming out to their parents. I think the original plan was for me to use it in You're My Kryptonite, but it didn't fit completely with my half plan, and I really wanted to use all of it. So I decided to write this as a standalone piece.
If you want to read the original prompt, it's in the reviews for You're My Kryptonite.
Just in case it's not clear enough, they've agreed to tell their parents separately, and then meet up at the start of school after.
Jake stirs as the opening chords of I Only Have Eyes for You ring out. He knows it's cheesy, and it took forever to find, but it's his ringtone for Ryder. It doesn't happen every day, but when he wakes to that sound it makes everything better. Because knowing that Ryder's voice is the first one he'll hear just brings a smile to his face.
Today though, the sound brings with it a sense of dread, barging its way into his foggy brain. Because today, it means something different.
Jake finally manages to answer the phone, clumsy fingers catching it just before it goes to voicemail. 'M'hlo.' He hates how his tongue refuses to work when he first wakes up.
'Morning, babe.' As usual, Ryder sounds chipper and bright, too enthusiastic for the early morning.
Jake scrubs a hand over his face. Just hearing Ryder's voice makes him feel more awake. 'Hey,' he whispers.
'Are you ready for this?' Jake can hear that Ryder's nervous, his voice cracking slightly.
'Um, yea, I think so. You?'
Ryder takes a deep breath, the sound gusting over the phone. After what seems like careful consideration, he answers, 'Yea. But I can't help but worry though. What if they throw me out or something?'
'They won't,' Jake promises. But the thought's definitely occurred to him too. He doesn't know how his mom will react. 'We'll be ok.'
'Are you sure?'
Jake wants to tell him that he is. That he knows. But he can't lie to Ryder, he's never been able to. 'No.' It comes out in a huff of breath.
Ryder laughs weakly, even though there's nothing humorous about the situation. There's a moment of silence, before he begins to talk. 'My mom's calling me down to breakfast.'
'Ok,' Jake pauses for a moment, unsure what to say. 'Good luck. You'll be great.'
'I'm scared, Jake.' The voice is so quiet, he can barely hear it.
'I know. I am too. I love you though.'
He hears a gentle exhale, as if Ryder is finally relaxing. 'I love you too. I'll see you in the auditorium.'
Jake hangs up the phone, taking a moment to gather himself before he rolls out of bed. He's glad that the morning routine is so familiar; he's so nervous he can barely concentrate on what he's doing.
After checking for a third time to make sure that his shirt isn't backwards, Jake heads downstairs. This is it. He's about to tell his mother about him and Ryder.
When he gets into the kitchen, he sees his breakfast laid out for him, as it is every morning. It feels kinda ridiculous that his mom still pours his cereal, but she insists on it. Something about showing him that she loves him. Jake can't help but panic at the thought, wondering whether it'll still be there tomorrow.
'Morning, baby.' Jake can't help but blanch at her words, so similar to the one's from Ryder just ten minutes ago. And yet, at the same time, somehow completely different.
'Morning, mama.' He slips into his chair at the table, and she goes back to reading the paper, sipping her orange juice occasionally.
Suddenly, Jake isn't hungry anymore. Even if this is his favourite cereal. He just pushes it around the bowl, trying to find a way to start the conversation. Why hadn't he planned this out ahead of time? He starts to wonder if he can just not go through with it. But he really doesn't want to let Ryder down.
He lets out a deep sigh, and his mother looks up. 'What's wrong, Jake?'
'I – I need to tell you something.' She just watches him expectantly, and suddenly he's blurting it out. 'Me and Ryder are dating.'
'Really?' Jake's confused, she almost sounds excited. He looks at her more carefully, and, yea, she's definitely smiling, and she seems happy.
'Yea, we are. Are – are you ok with that?'
'Of course I am, Jake. To be honest, I'm not really surprised either.' And, well, Jake's definitely surprised by that. He must make a noise, because she continues to explain. 'He's always round here, Jake. Did you really expect me to believe you were studying? You never used to study. Besides, I've seen the way you look at him.'
'I didn't think we were being that obvious,' Jake mutters.
Now, she's actually laughing at him. 'You weren't. But I know you. I know what you look like when you're in love. You kinda moon over him a lot.'
'Yea, whatever.' He quickly shovels the last mouthful of cereal. Turns out his appetite returned. 'So, you're sure you're alright about me and Ryder?'
She gets up from the table, coming around to grip his shoulder. 'Yes, Jake. I'll always love you. No matter what. Besides, Ryder's a nice kid. Tell him I approve, alright?'
'Sure, thanks Mom.' He hugs her tightly before leaving the kitchen. He has to get to school and find Ryder. They need to celebrate.
Xxx
They'd agreed to meet during home room, wanting to see each other as soon as they could. That's why they'd told their parents before school. That way, no matter what happened, they'd get to see each other; their parents wouldn't be able to stop them going to school.
Jake rushes through the hallways, hurrying to the auditorium. He wants to see Ryder. Wants to hug him and hold him tight. Wants to share this exciting moment.
When he gets there, Jake sees Ryder sitting on the edge of the stage, legs crossed and shoulders slumped. Immediately, he knows that something's wrong.
'Ryder? Baby?' Ryder looks up, and Jake can immediately see his despair. He hurries down the steps as Ryder slowly gets to his feet.
The moment that Jake makes it onto the stage, Ryder is pulling him into a tight hug. He buries his face in Jake's neck, and Jake just holds him close, running a soothing hand over his back.
Placing a soft kiss on Ryder's temple, Jake starts to speak. 'What happened? Did they freak out?'
'What? No.' Ryder lifts his head, sniffing slightly as he speaks. 'No, they didn't. They said it was ok.'
'So what's the problem?' Jake's voice is soft, worried he might somehow spook Ryder.
'It was the way they said it, y'know? Like, that's what they're expected to say. But I could tell, they feel like I've let them down.' And now Ryder's crying. It breaks Jake's heart to see, and he doesn't know what to do. 'Why do I always disappoint them?'
Ryder's tears are becoming more violent, slowly becoming choking sobs. He tries to break away from Jake, as if he's worried he might be pushed away. But Jake just holds him in place with the hand still running over his back, firmer and faster now, but still consistent. He tilts his head forward, so that his forehead is touching Ryder's. He buries his other hand in Ryder's hair, the way he knows that Ryder likes.
Ryder is trying to control his tears, trying to force his breathing into some form of control. His breath keeps hitching, loud choking gasps, and it must be painful. 'Hey, no,' Jake tells him softly. 'It's ok to cry. You don't need to hold back.' It's almost palpable, the way Ryder lets go then. His arms, which had been hanging uselessly at his sides, wrap loosely around Jake's hips, clinging to him. Their faces are pressed close now, and their foreheads are still touching, but Jake can also feel Ryder's nose on his cheek. His renewed tears are dripping onto Jake's face, and he can taste the salty tang as they slowly reach his lips.
Eventually, Ryder's tears begin to slow, his breathing calming down on its own. Jake pulls away slowly, still keeping close. He uses the pads of his thumbs to wipe Ryder's cheeks dry, before placing a gentle kiss to each of his swollen eyelids. Ryder offers him a small smile, his fingers now in Jake's front belt loops, as if he just wants some small form of contact.
Jake grips Ryder's shoulders gently, as if that could give him strength. 'Do you want to explain what that was about?'
Ryder nods slowly, still not able to make complete eye contact. As he talks, there's still the occasional shaky breath, residue from the tears. 'I know they would never say it, but I know I'm not the perfect son they hoped for. Not the son they would be proud to have. It started with the dyslexia. I know it kills them that I'm so stupid. That I'll never be smart like they are. And now there's this. I'm not the manly man my dad wants. I'll never be able to give my mum grandkids. I'm not good enough, Jake; I'll never be good enough.'
Jake just pulls Ryder in close again, his heart breaking that Ryder feels like this. When Ryder starts to squirm in his embrace, he speaks. 'Baby, you do realise you're wrong for like a million different reasons, right?' Ryder makes a small noise of disagreement. 'No, seriously. And we're gonna sit here until I've explained every single one.'
He pulls Ryder off the stage, down to one of the seats in front. He sits down, pulling Ryder on top of him. Normally, he wouldn't do this, as Ryder's just a little too heavy. But this is an exception, so he wraps one arm around Ryder's back, the other gripping his knee. 'Ok, firstly, your parents love you, and I bet they told you that.' Ryder nods reluctantly. 'Secondly, nobody's perfect, and your parents accept that you aren't. Thirdly, I'm so proud of you, and I can only imagine how much more proud they are. Fourth, your parents are smart, so they know that you can't help your dyslexia or your sexuality. Fifth, neither of those things would make them love you less. Six, you're not stupid, and I know that you know you're not. Seventh, you're plenty manly. That hasn't changed. And your manliness is what makes me even be interested in you. Eight, you can still have kids. We can adopt or use a surrogate. And finally, I love you, and you'll always be more than good enough.'
Jake can see that Ryder's started to cry again. It makes him worry, and he lifts up a hand to run a finger along his cheek. 'They're happy tears,' Ryder explains. 'Well, kind of. I still have a few doubts about my parents, but I do believe you. You always make everything better.'
'That's what I'm here for.' They sit quietly for a while, Jake drawing soothing patterns on Ryder's back and knee, while Ryder fiddles with the collar of Jake's shirt.
'So what did your mom say?' Ryder asks eventually.
Jake breaks into a wide grin, ecstatic to finally have a chance to share. 'She kinda knew, so she's totally cool. And she wanted you to know that she approves. She loves you too, you know.'
Ryder just hums in agreement, eyes never leaving Jake's collarbone. Eventually he looks up, a shyness creeping across his face. 'Do you really think about the future? About us having kids?'
'Of course. You'd make a great dad, y'know.' Ryder's finally smiling now, an actual, proper smile, and Jake can't help but lean forward to give him a kiss.
Ryder pulls away for a moment, just long enough for a mumbled 'I love you' before diving right back in. Somewhere out there, it's probably second period by now. But Jake doesn't really care. He'd much rather be right here, with his boyfriend, who he can finally be out and proud with.
