I'm... I'm terrible. I'm so sorry to those who have requests from months before- my inspiration and motivation has, ah, run into a wall.
So, to the requester, I hope you don't mind a crack high school AU. Hopefully writing something nonsensical will get my creative juices flowing again.
There was no question as to why he thought so highly of himself. Assuming it was a psychological thing (oh, so he was bullied as a child? That explains his wall of pompous air) or perhaps even a mental illness (narcissism was quite obvious where he stood) it seemed there was no obvious remedy to his god complex. Maybe it was simply a part of his insufferably obnoxious attitude. Who knew?
Nami had the sudden urge to hit Enel in the groin. Something to knock his head out of the clouds where it was wallowing, laughing and laughing that "Yahahaha" laugh that rivaled only Brook's in the Most Annoying Laugh Contest.
Yahahaha.
Yohohoho.
Nami imagined that she'd have to move out of town if those two nutjobs ever decided to run a comedy business together. One could only take so much eardrum abuse.
Lucky for her and the rest of the population's sanity, Brook frequented out on concerts and occasionally a panty raid and Enel would never stoop so low as to mingle with such an appalling and wrinkly creature such as Brook.
"Are you impressed yet?" Enel grinned cockily, his half-lidded eyes appearing too small beneath his thick eyebrows that arched with expectation. Nami sighed and scooted to her right.
Kalifa rested a hand on her thigh. Nami scooted back to the left.
"Behold! Power of GOD!" Enel cackled, sparks shooting out of his hands. It was a simple trick really, with wires and metals and conductors and a bunch of other shit that was child's play to Nami, who could shoot lightning from a homemade staff and fry someone to the bones.
Deciding that the only way to impress Nami was to inflict harm upon one of the freshman, Enel reached over and grabbed the back of Coby's head. Coby immediately shrieked and jumped out of his seat from the sudden jolt of electricity, earning him a nasty glare from a teacher lurking at the end of the auditorium. The assembly presentation went uninterrupted despite the outburst.
Really, couldn't someone shut Enel up?
"Hm, what's wrong?" Enel whispered, still grinning.
"You're annoying." Nami shot back.
To her right, Kalifa muttered something under her breath and adjusted her glasses.
"You're impressed. I know it." Enel's grin hardly wavered and he leaned in closer to Nami. Nami, conflicted between having to deal with Enel's insistent pestering or Kalifa's molestation, remained where she was and resolutely held her gaze on the speakers on the stage.
Behind her, Eustass Kidd snickered at Nami's predicament and nudged Killer.
Enel began to produce more sparks.
Nami slammed a fist into his groin.
Eustass Kidd burst out into vicious laughter and fell to the floor.
"B-bitch." Enel gasped, attempting to find a way to hold his crotch without shocking himself with his electricity-producing gloves. Nami's lips twitched in sadistic amusement as she held the pain-inflicting fist up warningly.
"That was a dirty trick!" Kidd chortled.
"Shhh!" Vivi glared at him two rows away. Kidd flipped her off and Vivi huffed in indignation, turning her attention back to the presentation.
"You were impressed, though. I could tell." Enel said rather weakly, still hunched over.
"You never learn, do you?" Nami sighed and shook her head.
"That was sexual harassment, Enel." Kalifa muttered.
"Obviously." Nami rolled her eyes.
