"Lies and secrets, Tessa, they are like a cancer in the soul. They eat away what is good and leave only destruction behind." Cassandra Clare, "Clockwork Prince."

Prologue

If he was honest with himself, the way Derek was feeling wasn't anything new. When she first joined the team a couple of years ago, he had felt something then. They had similar interests – he was pleasantly surprised to find out that she was a Kurt Vonnegut fan like he was – and for a not-so-fleeting moment, he thought that maybe they could be good together. His reputation had apparently preceded him though, because she, quite literally, called him out for being a dog fairly early on in their working relationship, as she watched him surrounded by busty blondes at a bar one Super Bowl Sunday. And, hell, they worked together. If he had acted on it and she had reciprocated, what would've happened if it hadn't ended up working out? That would have done a number on the dynamics of the highly functioning and cohesive team that Hotch had put together. And he wasn't about to give up a job that he had worked so hard to get and he was fairly certain that she wouldn't either. So he put it out of his mind. They meshed well at work but outside of work…they didn't really travel in the same circles…so nothing ever came of it. He continued his player ways and tried not to think much of Emily beyond the fact that she was his partner, his friend, someone who would always have his back in the field. But not someone that he would ever…could ever…pursue a romantic relationship with.

Until tonight. Or, really, until this week – their latest case to be more specific. Emily and Reid had traveled out to Colorado by themselves after a suspicious 911 call was made about a religious sect leader, Benjamin Cyrus, claiming that he was involved with under aged girls. Before they knew it, the situation had gotten so out of hand that the rest of the team found themselves outside of the compound, paralyzed with fear, listening as Emily was being tossed around like a rag doll by Cyrus himself, after being outed by the media as an FBI Agent. Derek had cringed when he heard Emily admit that she was the undercover Agent. And while he wanted to grab her by the shoulders and demand to know what the hell she was thinking, underneath he knew why she had done it. It was about protecting Reid. Derek couldn't fault her for that. But that didn't make the agony of listening to the beating Cyrus had unleashed upon her any easier to handle. He hadn't even been able to listen to the whole incident, tossing his headphones on to the table and walking out of the tent to catch his breath, wishing to God that it was him inside of that compound instead of Emily.

And that's why he found himself outside of her door tonight. They had gotten in earlier that day and Hotch had generously sent them all home, the events of the last several days having taken their toll. Reid and Emily had been given strict instructions not to return to work until the following Monday at the earliest, with Emily being told that she should seriously consider taking a few additional days to recover from the injuries she had sustained. Derek hesitantly knocked on her door, his arms full of supplies to help her convalesce, before twisting the doorknob, pleasantly surprised to find that it was unlocked. "Em?" He called as he walked in.

"Over here…" he heard as he moved further into the apartment. He spotted her form lying on the couch, the room dark, save for the glow coming from the muted television. "What are you doing here?"

Derek tried to maintain his stoic expression as she came into view. The flickering television illuminated her face just enough that he could see the black and blue bruises marring her otherwise porcelain skin. And he felt his chest tighten. "I brought reinforcements. If I know you, and I think that I do, I'm going to bet that your fridge is empty and you haven't eaten a thing since you've been home."

Emily sighed, wincing as she sat up. "You really didn't have to do that, Derek. I'm not really even hungry."

Derek flicked on the lamp that was on the table next to the couch. And that's when he saw her red-rimmed eyes and tear-stained face. He immediately sat everything down on the floor and went to kneel in front of her. "Hey…"

It was one word, said so softly she barely even heard it but she couldn't help the tears as they spilled down her face, startled by the concern in his eyes. Derek reached for her and pulled her to him, Emily resting her head on his shoulder as she cried. "I don't even know what's wrong with me," she sniffled, pulling away a couple of minutes later. "Why I'm so upset."

"Emily," Derek moved to sit next to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her towards him. "You just went through a horribly traumatic experience. It's okay to be upset."

Emily squeezed her eyes shut, the events of the past few days bleeding together with everything in her past that she wanted to run from. The fear she lived in for the past few days was nothing compared to the fear of living with an international terrorist for months on end, constantly fearing for her life, or worse – fearing that she had actually started to believe her lie, that she had been in too deep. The whole ordeal still haunted her to this day. And all she wanted to do was spill her guts to Derek…her partner…her friend. Here he was, bringing her dinner, literally being her shoulder to cry on, and all she could think about was the fact that she's been lying to him. She's been lying to everyone.

"Thank you." She finally said, wiping her eyes and looking up at him, about to admit that she wasn't as independent as she'd like everyone to believe. "I'm really glad you came. I don't think I want to be alone anymore." The fact of the matter was that as long as she kept her real life and her real past a secret from the people she's begun to think of as family, all she ever really would be was alone.

Derek sighed, running a hand softly over her hair as she sat up. "When you were in there…when Cyrus was doing God knows what…I wanted to kill him. I didn't care about anyone else at that moment. I just wanted to storm in there and get you the hell out of there."

"Derek…" Emily interrupted but Derek held up a hand to silence her. "No…just let me finish…Emily, when you first came here, I felt like we had some sort of connection. I tried to avoid it, I tried to pretend that you weren't my type, that there was nothing there but it's always been there. But, more importantly, over the past year and a half, I've come to respect the hell out of you, we've become friends and I really don't want to mess that up or ruin a good thing but … damn, Emily…when you were in there with him, all I could think about was that if something happened to you, I would never know what it was like to kiss you…to be with you…to tell you how I really felt about you."

Slowly, during his confession, Emily had reached out and grabbed his hand, bringing it up to her cheek. Derek gently caressed the black and blue bruise that marred her otherwise beautiful skin and she leaned into his touch. The gesture spurned him on, letting him know, without words, that his feelings were not totally one-sided. He pulled her towards him, their foreheads gently touching before he leaned in and captured her lips with his own. It was gentle…he wasn't privy to the full extent of her injuries and he didn't want to hurt her anymore than she already was. As they pulled apart, her eyes slowly opened, catching Derek looking at her, a slight smile on his face. "So does that mean you might feel the same way about me too?"

Emily smiled, shyly, nervous for admitting to him what she had barely admitted to herself. "It means that I may have thought about it before…once or twice. I'll admit that I was intrigued when you told me you were a Vonnegut fan. It may have made me realize that you weren't all brawn and no brains."

He feigned hurt. "No brains? I'm a world-class profiler, baby." Emily smiled, the first real smile he'd seen from her in days, and right then his heart melted. And he knew he had done the right thing in telling her how felt.

"With a world-class ego to go along with it," she laughed, sliding her hand into his and pulling his knuckles up to her lips, placing a gentle kiss on each of them. "So what does this mean?" Derek's eyebrows shot up and she instantly wanted to take the question back. "I mean…I guess it doesn't need to mean anything…I just…"

"Hey hey…Emily…" he silenced her rambling with a soft kiss to her lips. "Slow down."

"I'm sorry," Emily looked down sheepishly. "I've never been really good at this. And honestly, when you walked in that door tonight, this is the absolute last thing I expected to be happening. I just want to make sure that we're on the same page here."

"What page do you want to be on, Em?"

"You tell me." She leaned in to the hand that resumed its place on her cheek, praying that she was reading him right.

"Honestly?" She nodded. "I don't know. But what I do know is that I want to be with you. I want to try and make this work. In whatever capacity you'll have me."

She nodded wordlessly and leaned in for another kiss. She closed her eyes and seemingly blocked the rest of the world out. No secrets, no lies, no past lives…just the two of them.

This is the begining of a multi-chapter story with the focus on Derek and Emily. At least the beginning, it will follow the basic storylines outlined in each of the episodes but it will probably totally fly off into AU territory at some point. At least that's the plan. The rating is currently a "T" but may change to "M" at some point. We'll see.

I would love feedback that you have - positive comments, questions and constructive criticism is always welcome. Enjoy!