A/N: Hi! So, I was daydreaming randomly, thinking about grown up Percy when I thought that the fandom, me included, usually makes Percy be a marine biologist, but where would he work in New York? So I thought, he'd probably end up working in an aquarium. And being a son of Poseidon, that could become pretty funny. This is what came out. I hope you find it funny, because I had fun writing it.
Disclaimer: Rick Riordan owns Percy Jackson and Heroes of Olympus.
Fish Therapist
Percy walked down the long hallway, clipboard in hand, clicking the pen on and off distractedly, smiling at the fish behind the glass of the aquarium. He stopped in front of a tank, spying inside it. A shark swam morosely from side to side. Percy knocked on the glass jokingly, as if ringing a doorbell.
"Knock, knock." The shark turned to look at him. "Hey, man, what's up? Louis told me you weren't feeling well." The shark swam over to him. Percy chuckled. "Hey, don't be like that, he's not a gossip, he's just worried." He propped the clipboard up on his arm and clicked the pen on. "So, you want to tell me what's wrong?"
He waited, listening intently. A minute passed, two, then he shook his head.
"I don't know, Tony, you tell me. You're looking pretty bummed. Are you in pain? Tired?" he checked out things on the sheet of paper. "Aham, aham. Okay." Percy stopped and furrowed his brow. "I don't know, man, nothing looks wrong with you. Are you sure you're telling me everything? You know if you don't I'll have to call the vet."
Tony didn't like the idea one bit. He shook his tail nervously. If possible, he looked hesitant. He approached the glass for a minute, and then shot back on the tank to hide behind a rock. Percy's mouth fell open in incredulity.
"She did what? Hey, come on, man! I'm your friend, you don't have to be embarrassed! She's the one who should be ashamed!" the shark swam back slowly towards the glass. "I'm so sorry, man, I can't believe she'd do that to you… Actually, I can believe it. I told you she wasn't good for you, Tony. She's a player." Tony swung his tail aggressively in his direction. Percy lifted his hands defensively. "Hey, don't get mad at me! I'm saying it because I care. I want what's best for you and you know Alicia isn't it!"
Tony resumed his swimming from side to side. Percy sighed. He genuinely liked Tony, he was a really good guy, shark, whatever, but he had really rotten luck with girls. He always got depressed after a bad breakup and sent the whole aquarium into a frenzy thinking he had some disease. And it always fell onto him the job of checking to see if he was still alive.
"I know it sucks right now, but you're a good guy, Tony, you'll find a girl who won't break your heart. Actually, there's this girl on the west wing that might be your type, I can put in a word with the director… Tony! It's not too soon! You have to get over her and move on." Percy shook his head and started writing. "Alright, if you insist… I'll write down you're stressed. They'll believe that. Yeah, I'd like to tell the truth too, but you know mortals, who's gonna believe me if I say you're feeling down because you got cheated on?"
Tony shot behind the rock again. Percy dropped his arms.
"Sorry, man! You know I didn't mean it like that! Yes, I'm sorry to speak of your pain so lightly…" he rolled his eyes. The shark peeked from behind the rock, but stayed at the back of the tank. Percy signed his name on the form he had been filling and clicked the pen off. "Fine. I'm off. You just hang in there, okay? It will pass. There's plenty of fish in the sea." The shark swam away. "Oh, come on, it was a little funny!"
Percy shook his head amusedly and continued down the corridor. He stopped in his tracks, hearing someone calling him. It was a colorful fish, striped red and blue, with big eyes and long fins. He groaned, but approached anyway. Rebecca was a drama queen.
"What's up, Becca? What? No, I can't talk to Peter for you. Why? Because he's a penguin! I'm a son of Poseidon, I don't talk to birds… And that's not natural, Rebecca, you have to look at boys your own species. When did you even see Peter anyway? Henry did what? No, you're not supposed to leave the tank, I told him something like this would happen… No, I'm not angry with you!"
He sighed exasperatedly. Fish. Honestly, it's like they thought he was their therapist or something.
"Alicia!" he cut Rebecca off, pointing at a shark that suddenly swam by on the next tank. "You stop right there, young lady! I know what you did to Tony, it was really, really ugly! He's completely broken-hearted, are you happy now? You what? Well, that's it. You're grounded. Go hide behind your rock. Now. No, I'm not joking."
Or their parent.
"No, Rebecca, I'm not ignoring you, I was talking to Alicia. Stop making fun of her, or you'll get grounded!"
Percy sighed tiredly. Maybe becoming a marine biologist was a bad idea after all.
