Authors note: My take on what happens after Elliot leaves the hotel room in Ghost. I own nothing. One Shot. Please review.
The door was barely closed behind Elliot, and I had you in my arms. I can't believe you are really here if only for a little while, it's you and it's me. You still smell the way you always have, faintly of lilac and something I have never been able to place. My heart is beating so hard I can hardly hear myself think and I feel yours beating against my chest. It's been so long since I have held you I don't ever want to let go again. I can feel your tears on my shoulder, so I pull you back away from me and take in every feature of your beautiful face. My hand traces the outline of your cheek and delicate chin. When you take my hand in yours and kiss it tenderly I feel all the love I'd missed rush through me and my knees falter beneath me.
"I've missed you so much." I manage though I was sure I wouldn't be able to make a single syllable come out right. Your lips are so soft; I'd almost forgotten the way you taste. The urge to devour you consumes me and I find that somehow though I don't remember moving we have made our way to within feet of the bed. It has been months since I last saw you but it feels as if not a day has gone by. You breathe my name and we tumbled on to the bed. Your laugh oh how I have missed that laugh. The feel of your fingers in my hair, your hips beneath mine, our legs dancing together it is almost too much, too good to be real.
My arms are shaking I feel like I may not be able to hold myself up but I need to see you. Your eyes seem more blue if that is even possible, and your smile. How did I ever let you go? How will I be able to let you go again? The last time nearly killed me.
Now is no time to think about that, now I have you here with me, in my arms. I've missed your voice saying my name, I didn't realize how much until now, and as you speak I realize how much I have needed to hear you.
"Olivia." I feel you pulling away and am so worried about what might come next. You're searching my face for a reaction and I am waiting for you to finish before I give you one. I'm terrified of the words that may come, is there someone else? I can't even think about that right now, I'm not going to say a word until you do.
"I love you so much." I am waiting for the inevitable but, the part where you tell me that this can't happen, you're in love with someone else, someone who you, or Emily doesn't have to hide with, someone you can actually be with. I decide I should answer or you won't go on, so I tell you that I love you too and that there has been no one but you in all this time. I find myself looking at you with suspicion for the first time and I hate it, and I can tell you see it on my face.
"You're the only one I love Olivia." Your tone is both loving and hurt and I know I shouldn't have made you say it but I needed to know. I tell you that I know that, and ask you what is on your mind suddenly you are a million miles away again, even though you're here lying in bed with me. I can hear your breath start to catch and see the tears building in your eyes. Your lips crash into mine without another moment of hesitation, the yearning we've felt for months has turned us into animals, grunting and clawing at one and other as if someone has freed us from our cage. My fingers are tangled in your blonde locks and I can't remember the last time I felt so out of control. As my hand finds the hem of your shirt you break our embrace and allow me to undress you.
When I toss you onto your naked back you seem both shocked and aroused, I am possessed and on fire I have never needed anything the way I have needed you these last months. Your body glistens below me and I take in every inch of you, feeling my way down your alabaster skin I place gentle kisses in all the places you like the best eliciting the reactions I have missed so much. The nape of your neck makes your back arch and your head fall towards the pillow offering me more flesh to take, when I trace the valley between your breasts with my tongue, you hold your breath the way you always have and let out a deep sigh. You smile in anticipation as my fingers gently caress the taught pink flesh at their tips and as I nibble and suck on my very favorite part of your beautiful body you half giggle half groan in delight. As I kneed and caress your breasts I feel your body reacting to my touch your legs desperate to spur me downward and hold me tighter, I feel your hands in my hair and it sends a shock down my spine and I call your name. It feels like someone turned the heat to a thousand degrees and I just can't take it anymore, it feels good to watch you watch me as I remove the offending garments and return to my position.
As I kiss your hip, I feel your fingers graze down my back but I refuse to go too quickly I have waited too long and I don't know when or if I will be able to touch you this way again. I lift your leg and trace kisses down the inside to your knee and down your calf, and as I use your own limb as leverage to flip you over I see the surprise flash across your face. I hear you panting and moan as I work my way up your body to your neck and allow my weight to press against you as I nip, and kiss, lick and suck my way around it. My breasts react as I lift myself up allowing only my hips full contact as I graze my hardened nipples over your beautiful backside. The lightest touch of your skin sends me rushing towards ecstasy. I can't wait any longer; my hand finds your opening warm and wet waiting for me. I allow you to roll over and our eyes lock as my fingers find there way inside you. Your breath catches as your body adjusts to my intrusion and I feel your muscles contract and immediately release with the pleaser I provide. Slowly I move in and out of you watching the subtle reaction of your face as I do. Your eyes are clenched closed and your mouth fluctuates from wide open to closed, I am delighted as you bite your bottom lip before you let out a ragged breath and say my name. I capture your lips with mine and thrust my tongue into your mouth mimicking the motions of my hand below. Your tug on the short hair at the base of my neck isn't unnoticed; I am just not quite ready to heed your subtle order to move my kisses lower.
"Please Olivia." You manage between deep kisses your hands grabbing my face pleading with me. With one last kiss I no longer can deny you your need.
My first taste of you coaxes a growl from deep within me and I cannot get enough of your sweet nectar. You whimper and buck and I know you're close. I slow my pace and massage your throbbing clit with my thumb and finger allowing my breath to cool your hot flesh before devouring your warm wetness again. Your nails dig into the warm flesh of my back and I feel the sweat beads rolling down my back. As you approach your climax your open hand slaps my back over and over again making the skin below it sting and driving me absolutely wild. It's only when I hear your screams that I am snapped back to reality and realize I should start backing things back down. I watch your chest heave as you try to catch your breath and lay my weary head against your soft stomach, kissing it gently tasting the sweet salt on your skin. Your hand is stroking my face and for the first time since getting here I feel like this could all just be a dream.
"Am I dreaming?" I finally manage.
"If you are…that's the best dream I've ever had." There is your laugh again, more than anything else I have missed the easy way we can go from passion to laughter and back again.
The pillow is cool against my flush face as I make my way back up to the head of the bed to look at you. You start to move, I can tell you are eager to have your chance to explore me, but I am just not ready to give in just yet. I wrap my arm around your waist and pull you into me and kiss the back of your neck, right now I just need to feel you close to me.
"I love you." I hear myself whisper into the dark, my admission is met with silence, at first it hurts but then I realize you're crying.
"Alex…" I begin but you cut me off before I get a chance to ask.
"You know, they're going to reassign me now, after I testify tomorrow. They'll move me. I'll have another new name, in another new place, and you'll be here. I'll be alone…again."
And there it was, the elephant in the room, of course we would have to talk about it but I hoped that it could just go away, that somehow the state of everything would just shift and make room for us to be together. Your body is shaking from your sobs and I find myself wondering how on earth you made it on your own those first weeks you were gone. If it wasn't for Elliot and my job I don't know that I would have been able to pull through, loosing you was so hard, and I certainly don't want to do it again. Before I have thought it through, I have said what is on my mind and the tip of my tongue.
"I'll go with you." I whisper in your ear. You shoot up like someone has lit you on fire and flip on the light.
"What?" Suddenly I don't know what I was saying, I am not sure if I meant it, if it is possible and by your reaction if you want me to.
"I'll go with you." I repeat.
"You'd do that?" Your eyes are searching me for the answer, suddenly I feel overwhelmed. How many times in your life can you really say you had to choose very clearly the course of the rest of your life? How did you do it, how did you ever do it? I find myself thinking a mile a minute and I know that each moment I don't answer is a moment you will hold against me, a moment you will think of as doubt.
"I would do anything, to be with you."
"What about…"
My mind is made up, there is no talking me out of it.
"I choose you. I want you. I need you. I will do whatever it takes to go with you."
I see the thoughts racing through your mind and I know you are about to try to talk me out of it.
"You'd have to change your name…" You say as if I am unaware.
"Call me anything you want…" I feel the excitement of the possibility of a life with you building in my stomach.
"You'd have to change your job…" Suddenly nothing matters except you.
"Anyone can sell insurance…" I say it even though I don't believe it.
"You'd have to leave your home…"
"It's not a home without you…"
"And no one, not even Elliot could know where we are." The first thing you've said so far that means anything.
"Elliot will understand."
"Liv…"
"My minds made up. Where ever you go, they're going to send me too. You're a protected witness, and I am your partner." Honestly I am unsure how this all works I know they move entire families but I'm not sure the United States government is quite ready to move a lesbian and her lover. You pick up the phone, an open line to the Marshals and ask that Agent Kimball be sent to your room. We're barely dressed, lips still swollen before he is at the door.
I sit listening intently as you tell this complete stranger our story, every detail. I realize that if I am allowed to go with you soon everyone will know our story, and where ever we go, who ever we end up being we will have a real chance, we won't have to hide our relationship anymore.
"He's making the call." You tell me as the agent excuses himself, you grab my hand reassuringly. "If you don't want this, if you aren't sure, I need to know now."
The truth is I am not sure about anything right now. I am not sure how I will feel leaving the city, SVU, my life since I can remember. I don't have any idea how I will feel about any of that, but I know that waking up with you tomorrow and the next day and for the rest of my life is worth giving up everything.
"I want this."
"I know how you are feeling right now." You tell me, and I know it is the truth.
"Don't worry about that. Promise me something Alex."
"Anything."
"When we're gone from here and Alex and Olivia are just people in our past, promise me that whoever we are next can be together, really be together, no smoke and mirrors, no hiding."
"I promise." Your arms wrap around my neck. "I promise, Liv I am going to love you forever. Are you sure you're willing to do this…willing to give up everything you are, everything you've ever had for me."
"I am."
It didn't seem real returning to my apartment with the Marshals, packing up two bags, no more and sitting through the briefing with them that night. The only pieces of me I was allowed to take were two pictures one of my mother, and one of Elliot, the Captain and I at the Policeman's Ball. My heart broke, knowing that it was very possible I would never see them again.
I didn't have much time to explain the situation the next day when the Marshals and I sat down with them in Cragen's office during your testimony. As I handed the Captain my badge and gun my heart broke. His embrace followed by Elliot's was enough to rip the heart from my chest. I refused to say goodbye, I hoped one day you and I would be able to come back to the city, and come back to our lives. Elliot's tears caught me off guard and when he told me to tell you to take care of me I realized that I wasn't sure who was going to take care of him. He just wanted me to be happy, and I knew that without you that just wasn't a possibility.
Though my heart was broken when I saw you at the airport again I knew that I had made the right choice. Your kiss healed the hurt in my heart and eased my worried mind.
"Are you ready Elaina?" You asked me, taking my hand.
"When you are Katherine." It would take a bit to grow accustom to my new name and saying yours, but I knew I could do it. With you, I could do anything.
