The Prank War
Chapter 1: The Instigator
Hanji smiled at Eren as he walked into her lab. It was like any other day for him, but for her today would be the beginning of a special and highly entertaining experiment.
Eren wasn't all that great in reading people's expressions; however, it wasn't too hard to realize that Hanji was about to do something catastrophic that would probably mark the end to mankind as they knew it. "Is something wrong, Hanji-san?" Stupid! Stupid! Don't ask! Just run away! Run away and hide until this blows over! Hanji looked at him and her glasses flashed and her smile stretched to manic proportions. Seriously, she broke several known laws about the human body's muscular structure.
"Nothing's wrong Eren. I won't need to you to take off your clothes today. Actually, I was thinking of taking a break from all that and just asking some questions about your thought processes as a Titan." She picked up her clipboard and pen and started to write something. "As far as you can tell, is there any difference to you mentally from that of a Titan to that of a human boy?"
Eren blinked. This was…different. He sat down cautiously. If he had learned anything about Hanji, it was that she never did anything without a reason. A twisted, irrational reason, but a reason nonetheless. "Umm…I guess it's harder for me to retain memories of the two forms. When I'm a Titan I can only remember key events in my life, and when I'm a human it's hard to remember exactly what I did as a Titan."
She nodded so hard that Eren thought her head would fly off. "Good, good. Now, have you ever felt any fear as a Titan? Or mischief? Have you noticed anything as a Titan that would have caused you to laugh as a human?"
Eren thought about it. "Actually there was one time that I did feel fear. It was when I first transformed. The Titans were swarming me and eating me. I did feel fear then, but it wasn't a paralyzing fear, it was a fear that would easily turn to anger. As for the humor, I don't know if you remember but once, when I was a Titan and I was doing jumping jacks for you, I saw Jean accidently push Corporal Levi into the river. The sound I made then was actually laughter."
Hanji dropped her pen and stared at him. "That was what you sounded like laughing!? Oh my gosh! Ohhhh myyyy goshhhhh!" She squealed. Eren really didn't understand her sometimes.
They talked for an hour more until Eren's throat became scratchy. Hanji gave him some water and they continued talking. After about fifteen minutes Eren's eyes began to droop. Hanji noticed this with a twinkle in her eyes. "Eren, you look tired. Maybe you should lie down some?" Eren nodded and stumbled out the door. Mike let him into his dungeon room and he crashed onto his bed. He slept for two hours until Mike woke him up for dinner.
Hanji walked into the dining room, her mind filled with wonderful little schemes.
"Oi! Shitty glasses, what makes you so maniacally happy? Planning someone's demise?"
Yes, Levi, yours. Her smile widened. "Oh no! I'm just happy. I made some headway with my Titan research with Eren!" She walked into the kitchen. The recruits hadn't come down to dinner yet. Perfect! She slipped her formula into the water supply. That should last them all till the end of the week! She nearly started giggling. She got her food and started back to the table.
All throughout dinner she watched as every single member of the Recon group drink at least two glasses of water. She smiled and then froze. Levi! He was drinking tea! She wanted to bang her head against the wall, but then she stopped. Wait! This is even better than my last plan!
