Disclaimer: I do NOT own ANY part of Final Fantasy XV in any way, shape, or form. I own NOTHING!
A/N: This story will begin a few years after the guys' journey to reclaim the Crystal, but instead of being sucked into the Crystal and disappearing for ten years, Noctis is rejected and forced to confront the world of ruin/darkness. It is my shameless attempt at expanding upon the World of Ruin with romance, angst, fluff, and other shenanigans. Basically, it is my depiction of what might have happened if Noctis had to live in the world of ruin with the others, which will obviously be Noctis/Iris centric. Point of view will vary from chapter to chapter, but since this is a Noctis and Iris story, it will be told primarily from their perspective. Enjoy!
Different Stars
Chapter One:
IRIS
Honestly, I don't even know why I bother. Like so many that came before it, this meal is not what I'd hoped it would be. I just wanted us to have a nice dinner together before everyone went their separate ways again.
In spite of everything, I still hope that one day, things will shift back to their former effortlessness…but it never happens. No matter how many of these dinners I orchestrate, the proverbial dark cloud seems to follow us.
Our prince has his good days, and he has his bad days. Then, he has his really bad days. Unfortunately, this is one of his bad days.
Everyone sits quietly at the table, eating the food Ignis and I have carefully prepared, but no one dares talk about anything aside from things like the weather and the number of daemons they managed to kill that day.
Three years. For three years we have been trying to put our fallen king back together. Three years of one step forward and two steps back.
The past three years have easily been the hardest years of my life, but eventually, we got an almost fully functional Noctis. He is a shadow of the former prince of Lucis and is little more than a common hunter, but he is still our Noct. He still has royal blood and a king's instincts, and despite everything, he fights to protect what remains of this world and it's people.
"What was the daylight log today, Iris?" Prompto asks politely from across the table.
"8 hours and forty two minutes," I reply, stabbing some of my veggies with my fork.
It is a rather morbid hobby I have acquired but a hobby nonetheless. I just feel like someone should keep track of how much daylight we are losing. So everyday, I log the sunrise and the sunset, and then I calculate the hours of daylight we had.
"It seems to have plateaued a bit for the time being," Ignis states matter-of-factly before putting some of the baked fish (courtesy of Noctis) into his mouth.
My greatest accomplishment today, in my humble opinion, wasn't my daylight log or the number of daemons I helped take out. No. It was getting Noctis to actually go fishing.
Since Noctis and the others returned to Caem after their failed attempt at reclaiming the Crystal in Niflheim, the prince had little to no passion for anything. He was too weighed down by guilt, grief, and failure.
For a long time, we just let him be. It was only natural that he would need time to come to terms with the latest blow that had been dealt to him. Not only that but we, as a group, had to adjust and reevaluate everything as well.
And there had been a lot to absorb.
Ignis was blind. Lady Lunafreya was dead. Sunlight was leaving the world a little more each day as a result, and according to Ignis, Noctis (the then Chosen King) had to die in order to bring the light back to our world. But we scratched that last bit of information when we learned that upon being rejected by the Crystal, Noctis was no longer the Chosen King.
The selfish part of me was relieved to hear about said rejection. Yes, I knew that it was for the greater good, for the light, and to rid our world of the Starscourge, but it was Noctis! We couldn't just sacrifice him like that.
The guys never said so but I am pretty sure they share my perspective. If they'd known his fate beforehand, they would have fought for another alternative. Unless it went against Noctis' wishes, they would have fought with everything they had to save him.
Still, it doesn't change the fact that our world is falling to pieces around us as we speak. It doesn't change how Noctis feels either. It doesn't change the fact that he feels he has failed us, failed our world. He is convinced that in a moment of weakness, he doomed all of us.
Something in Noctis died. He lost a piece of himself. He is fractured. He lost his home, his throne, his father, and his bride-to-be. Losing his calling, losing what had been preordained, losing what he now saw as the world's last hope of salvation had just been the final blow in a succession of near fatal strikes.
He didn't really speak to anyone about any of it for a long time. But, oddly enough, when he did finally say something of merit, I had been completely and utterly shocked that he'd chosen to say it to me…
'I just… I couldn't lose anyone else,' he'd said.
His voice was a sad, mournful sound, but I understood what he was saying with savage clarity. The Crystal rejected him because of his ties to his friends, to this world. He'd chosen us over the greater good, and the Crystal apparently saw that as weakness, as a form of impurity.
I glance at him out of the corner of my eye. He sits at the head of the table, eating quietly, but he is still avoiding the side of beans on his plate.
He is still a picky eater.
His hair is longer and a bit shaggier. He looks more like a hunter than a prince, probably because he is more hunter than prince now, but he is still handsome as ever.
He's in typical hunter garb: bandanas around his neck, a t-shirt under a protective vest, and an accessory belt around his middle. However, nothing can hide the stunning regal slopes of his face or the unique hue of his eyes.
Likely feeling my intent gaze, his eyes lift and meet mine.
I look away awkwardly and quickly, hoping he didn't catch my blatant staring.
To dissolve some of my discomfort, I give Umbra (who is under the table near Noctis' feet) some table scraps.
Apparently, Noctis finds this amusing because he has a small, almost coy smile on his face.
I smirk in spite of myself and hold a finger to my lips, as if it's a secret and I don't want him to tell anyone.
Still grinning a little, he shakes his head and begins picking at his food again.
And just like that, the moment is gone. Noctis has reverted back to the lethargic state that has become all to commonplace.
"Anyone wanna play cards after dinner?" Talcott asks, his eyes bright with hope that maybe, for a little while, things can go back to how they were before everything turned to shit.
Noctis doesn't answer, much to Talcott's disappointment.
I look over at him and smile warmly. "I'll play with you, Talcott."
I know the invitation isn't necessarily for me, but I figure I'm better than nothing.
"Count me in too," Prompto offers, the mere sound of his carefree voice seems to energize the space around us, but even Prompto's eyes aren't as bright as they once were.
Prompto's response gets a grin out of Talcott, but we all know Noctis is the one that he really wants to play carts with. But over the course of the past few years, Noctis has found a coping mechanism in listlessness, which sometimes results in him distancing himself from us.
Once everyone finishes eating, I help Monica and Dustin with the dishes. Noctis actually bothers to help tonight instead of immediately going to his room like he used to.
I've learned to be thankful for any progress he makes, but as soon as the dishes are done, Noctis retires for the night. He doesn't linger.
"Thanks for the meal everyone," he says before heading up the stairs. "I'll see you all tomorrow."
After a few rounds of cards with Prompto and Talcott, I retreat to my room with every intention of preparing for bed. However, a certain prince is in my room.
There he sits, on my bed, the prince I've had a crush on since I was a girl. However, this prince is weary and not the vibrant one I've fantasized about for years.
But I love him all the same. In fact, I probably love him more despite how difficult the past three years have been. The struggle has given me an even greater understanding of him. I am no longer a fifteen year old with a crush pining for any sliver of attention he'd give me. I am a seventeen year old who fell in love with him while he was at his lowest point.
"I got a hole in one of my shirts on a hunt a while back." He scratches the back of his head. "Could you…?"
I hold my hand out for said shirt, my fingers twitching playfully yet impatiently.
Noctis rises to his feet, closes the gap between us, and puts the neatly folded article of clothing in my grasp.
"I meant to ask earlier, but I kept forgetting."
His smell is suddenly all around me, and I have to resist the urge to just keep this shirt forever.
It's funny how his scent has taken on an earthy, woodsy undertone, but I can still pick up on the underlying fragrance that is reminiscent of expensive cologne (that I know for a face he hasn't actually worn in years). It is the prefect mix of bergamot, smoky sandalwood, and a hint of Lucian lemon.
I walk over to what Prompto and Noctis jokingly call my sewing circle. It's where I sometimes nurture my passion for clothing and crafts, but most of the time, I just end up doing repair jobs for the guys.
I used to dream about designing my own clothes and opening a store, but a while back, I accepted that that was likely all it would ever be – a dream.
We sit in strained silence a while as I thread my needle and prepare to mend the hole in his shirt, which is thankfully on the seam.
"Tell me about a good day," I finally say.
This is something I do often. It is a pitiful attempt to cheer him up, but – from my experience – it usually yields some pretty good results.
I stumbled upon it by accident, but because it seemed to work, I continued using the method until it kind of became…a thing.
I ask about the past. I try to take him back to a few bright spots since the future is pretty bleak.
He smirks. "The day I finally kicked your brother's ass in a sparing match."
As I mend his shirt, he continues talking about the day he finally bested Gladdy. The more he talks, the lighter his expression becomes. He is immersing himself in the pleasant memory, recalling even the faintest of details. He remembers the time of year and even the weapon he'd chosen.
When he finishes, he is in slightly better spirits, as was my intention. Asking him about good days is almost always therapeutic for him.
"All done!" I hold out the finished (but still dirty) product. "It could still probably use a wash though."
"Right. Thanks, Iris."
I smile, trying to be bright and optimistic, but it's hard. I'm not the hopeful optimist I used to be. A lot of it has been bleed out of me. It's the price I paid to survive in this dying world, to follow Noctis into the dark.
His mouth twitches into a small smile before he turns to leave, gently shutting the door behind him.
Sylleblossoms are everywhere. Dozens upon dozens of them cover every stretch of land as far as the eye can see. Even their feathery petals permeate the air around me.
I've never seen so many, but something is kind of…off. I'm clearly at the Caem outpost…but sylleblossoms don't grow here.
As I take a few steps forward, it's almost as if I am underwater. Everything is kind of muffled and blurry. It has this eerie, otherworldly quality despite how beautiful it is.
"Iris…?"
Suddenly, there is a young girl in white standing behind me. She has pale blonde hair and bright blue eyes.
"Lady Lunafreya?"
It is Lunafreya, but it isn't the Lunafreya I remember. This Lunafreya is much younger, but there is still a strange sadness in her eyes. It's something that shouldn't exist in the eyes of a child.
My heart aches for her.
The girl smiles and somehow everything gets even brighter, too bright. It's hard not to flinch away.
I don't speak. I can't speak. What could I possibly say to…her?
"Can you help me?" she asks. No. She begs.
With what…? How can I possibly help her? I have nothing to offer the Oracle.
Lunafreya take hold of my hands. She is cold as death, and I can't keep myself from wincing at the contact.
"Noctis…"
"Noctis? What about him?"
The girl's eyes fill with tears. Her mouth opens, but nothing escapes them. The pain is too great. It is so abundant I can almost feel it seeping into me through our joined hands. It is contagious, like a virus.
I wake with a start, expecting to still be in a vibrant field of sylleblossoms holding Lady Lunafreya's hands, but instead, my simple room at the Caem outpost greets me.
I sit up and cast my gaze toward the door where I see Umbra in the floor, looking up at me with his head tilting to one side.
"Are you helping her do this, boy?" I ask as if he can answer.
Umbra approaches the edge of my bed and nuzzles my hand.
"What is she trying to tell me?" I ask again as I rub him behind the ears.
I've been having dreams about the Oracle for a while now. I blew them off at first, but they are becoming more frequent. I've been forced to acknowledge that they mean…something. I just don't know what. Lady Lunafreya is always ambiguous and never says much aside from the fact that she wants my help.
I never breathe a word of the dreams to anyone, but I keep a log of them just like I keep a log of our daylight hours.
I write them down with the hope that there will be some message if I look at them collectively. So far, nothing stands out.
Resolving to deal with it later, I get out of bed and start getting dressed.
I toss on some hunter garb: a tank top, gloves, shorts and hiking boots. Then, I go to the mirror to inspect myself.
My hair is longer than what I am used to. It is no longer the unruly bob that flips out at the edges I'd sported as a fifteen year old. It is still unruly but it now falls past my shoulders in subtle waves that still try to curl up around my face.
I need a haircut but haircuts are kind of low on my priority list, hence the fact that it's gotten as long as it has. I settle for brushing it and putting it into a messy ponytail on top of my head.
Once my wild hair is out of the way, I start packing a few things for my pre-morning stroll.
I grab my sword (the sword Gladdy has been trying to teach me to use since he still isn't crazy about the idea of me fighting daemons with nothing but my bare hands, so we've started toying with weaponry, and the weapon of the month is greatswords), throw a few potions in just in case, and finally, grab my logbook.
The residence (if it can even be called that) is still asleep as I travel down the stairs and into the living area. I can hear Gladio snoring.
"Coming or going?" I ask Umbra as I quietly open the front door.
The dog looks at me a moment before trotting outside, apparently deciding to head out with me.
With Umbra in tow, I make my way to the rocky Caem shore. I've tried several different locations, but the fishing spot near Spelcray Haven is my favorite. It has the best view of the sunrise.
I sit down on the worn dock with Umbra and pull out my phone, a pen, and my logbook.
It's quiet. The daemons are no longer out, but the animals are still in hiding too. They know that it isn't completely safe until sunrise, but since I've started hunting daemons with the others (Gladio and Cor still insist it is too dangerous for me to hunt alone, but I am slowly wearing them down to the idea), I've learned most of them call it quits around 4:00 in the morning.
"5:38 AM on the dot," I announce as the sun starts to emerge from the edge of the ocean, its orange light glittering along the glossy surface.
It is sad to think that there will be a day when the sun won't come up. Sometime in the future, it will just…stop.
I think that is one of the reasons I do this. I know I won't get many other chances.
Sometimes the others come with me. On good days, I can even get Noctis to join me, but he prefers to join me at sunset since he isn't a morning person.
For a while, I just sit on the dock, my feet dangling over the water, petting Umbra, and watching the world slowly come to life. The insects begin to call, cars start to whizz by, and the birds start singing.
I think about staying even longer, but I don't want to waste any of the time I have left with the others. They'll be leaving for the Hunter HQ soon to help with a daemon epidemic up north, so I decide to head back.
Upon arrival, I see that the residence is already stirring. Dustin is outside doing chores and Prompto is on the front porch toying with his camera.
Umbra begins barking and playfully chasing the cat that lives near the lighthouse. Umbra wants to befriend the stray, but the cat is not interested. In fact, the only person that cat does like was Noctis, and it only likes him because he feeds it.
Once I am close enough, Prompto aims the camera at me, and I pose flamboyantly.
"Nice one!" he exclaims, eyeing the picture immediately.
"Let me see!" I run up the stairs and onto the porch.
"No. You'll make me delete it!" Prompto stands and holds the camera over his head.
I jump on my tiptoes. Sadly, the past few years have contributed nothing to my height. I blame Gladio. He probably took all of the giant genes and left none for me to inherit.
"I won't if it's good!" I argue, still reaching for the camera.
"But you're a teenager! You never think any pictures of you are good!" he teases, but I know that there is some truth in his words.
"Give me the damn camera, Prompto!" I try to climb on his back so I can extend my reach.
"You know, you're turning into your brother more everyday," he cries, but I manage to snatch the camera out of his hand.
Prompto falls back into his chair, defeated and rubbing the back of his neck where I squeezed him.
I sit on the railing and look at the picture. It isn't good. My hair looks dirty, and the hunter garb I'm wearing looks painfully dull. I am even making a weird face, but because I don't want Prompto to be right, I decide to let him keep it. I don't want to play the role of the teenager…even though technically I am one.
"Gotten any good ones lately?" I begin flipping through the other pictures he has taken.
"A few."
I frown as I stumble upon the most recent pictures of Noctis.
"He doesn't really smile anymore, does he?" I muse, my eyes not leaving the Noctis on the camera's screen.
Prompto's shoulders sag. "No. Not like he used to."
Sighing, I hand the camera back to him.
"Oh, Ignis wants you to try to wake Noct. We've already tried and he still isn't up."
Prompto doesn't have to say anything else. I know the routine. They often use me as a last resort. Sometimes – I have no idea why – Noctis listens to me when he will listen to no one else.
I don't understand why Noctis responded to me the way he did. Somewhere along the way, our relationship shifted, and this broken version of Noctis reacted strongly to me.
It's kind of like those stories where a chocobo egg hatches and someone (or something) is standing too close and the disoriented chocobo chick mistakes the bystander for their mother.
Regardless, I don't question it, and as our relationship steadily shifted over the years, I just went with it. But I know that under any other circumstances, this wouldn't be the case.
"Okay," I reply quietly. "I'll see what I can do after I get something to eat."
Noctis' room is a mess as usual. With Ignis still adjusting to blindness, he can't pick up after him like he used to. So I (much to Gladio's dismay) have started picking up the slack.
As expected, he is still asleep, lying face down in a small pool of his own saliva.
"Rise and shine," I call as I pick up the trash and empty bottles scattered across the floor. "It's 7:00, which given the amount of daylight we have left, is roughly the equivalent of 10:00."
He groans and shifts but does little else.
I put the trash away and pace the room, not looking at anything in particular until I see the Ring of the Lucii on the dresser.
Noct doesn't wear it. Not anymore. Gladdy says he took it off sometime after they left Niflheim and went back to holding it and hiding it.
The ring makes me wonder, not for the first time, about the chancellor, Ardyn. No one has seen or heard from him since the Crystal spat Noctis out. We can only assume he is in hiding somewhere, biding his time, plotting, and gaining strength for his next move…whatever that might be.
I sit on the edge of the bed and watch Noctis rest.
I itch to touch him. I want to brush his hair away from his face and run my fingers along his jaw, but as always, I force myself to resist.
I am not the smartest person, but I like to think that I am an individual of reasonable intelligence. I am not dumb enough to think that I can fill that particular void in Noct's life. Did I still wish I could? Sure, but I am not blind to the reality that is Noctis Lucis Caelum.
Even at the tender age of fifteen, I knew that our stars would never align. I accepted that my feelings would remain unrequited and vowed to never disrespect anyone by acting on them.
"Come on." I pat his back playfully. "Up and at 'em. Gladdy is already threatening to leave you."
Slowly, he sits up, yawning and raking a hand through his hair.
Gods, I am going to miss him.
It's been a while since I've gone an extended period of time without seeing him, and I'm not really ready to let go. I know he is better and that he doesn't need me, but I can't keep from feeling like I should be there for him in case he does need me.
I knew from the beginning that this – whatever it was – was temporary. It was a fluke, and he will revert back to a state where he no longer wants or needs me.
But it still hurts...
"Will one of you please call when you get there?" I beg as they make their way to the shitty truck Cid gave them to replace the Regalia.
To me, this isn't an unreasonable request. I am not asking for the moon. I just want to know that they've arrived to their destination in one piece. However, they almost never follow through.
"Yeah," Noctis replies, deadpan.
"And you might want to fill up the truck's tank before you leave Old Lestallum. Dustin said you were close to empty and Cindy has been pretty busy lately so she might not be able to get you right away."
"Right."
"Oh, and don't forget your Moogle!"
Noctis stops his trek to the road and lazily turns to take the doll from me.
"I gave him some extra stiches and reinforced some of the hemming so he should be good to go for a while. Just try not to do anything too crazy."
"Mm." He turns and continues following the path down to the road where the truck (or Rusty as they affectionately called it) is parked.
"Got it!" Prompto exclaims and holds a fist into the air.
"But even if you do, you know you can just bring him back, and I'll fix him," I add even though I know Noctis has reached the point where he is no longer listening to me. He is just humoring me and trying not to hurt my feelings even though I am grating on his nerves.
Noctis nods without turning around. "Yep."
"Promise you'll be careful?" I aim this question at anyone who will listen.
"Of course," Ignis replies, courteous and considerate as always.
Gladio puts a heavy hand on my shoulder. "Call if you need us."
"Sure." I smile. "You too."
Noctis places a hand on the truck's hood, preparing to get in but hesitates.
"Hey… Iris?" he mumbles.
"Hmm?" I lace my fingers behind my back and lean forward.
He stares at me for a long-suffering moment, his gaze so intent and unrelenting that I blush to my collarbone and recoil.
"Nothing. Just…thanks. You know, for everything."
I manage to get even redder. There is a lot of implication to those words.
A lot of people misunderstand Noctis because of how he carries himself. It is very easy for him to seem aloof and unmindful, but I've known for a long time that isn't the case. He is very caring and compassionate. He just doesn't show or communicate how he really feels much.
But he doesn't have to. I know. I've known since the first moment I met him, when he held me and comforted me even though he didn't even know who I was. Perhaps it's easier for me to see the compassionate side of him because of those memories. Maybe it's because I saw that side of him first that I am able to see past his detached exterior.
Regardless of why, I know he is thanking me for all I've done for him. He is referring to all the moments I drug him out of bed, forced him to eat, begged him into doing anything and everything, tried to make him laugh, and even for turning into my brother and screaming at him when I could take no more of his more unsavory behaviors.
"Okay, okay, break it up. We're losing daylight here." Gladio grabs Noctis by the shoulders and shoves him into the truck's cab.
"Literally!" Prompto calls as he crawls into the backseat. The truck seems more like a clown car than a truck as they force their way into it. There isn't nearly enough room for all of them.
"Too soon, dude," Noctis grumbles as Umbra leaps into his lap.
"Right. Sorry." Prompto chuckles nervously.
"Seatbelts, please!" Ignis implores, his tone slightly exasperated. It's going to be a long drive to the Hunter HQ.
I stand on the roadside, waving until the car is out of sight and their voices fade.
A/N: Thanks so much for reading!
This chapter was pretty heavy but not all of them will be quite this...gloomy. Promise! But it was a necessary evil. I felt I needed to assess the gravity of the situation and the impact Noctis being rejected by the Crystal would have on everyone. That said, we will get around to fluff, shenanigans, and other randomness. Some chapters will probably be more like one-shots or drabbles. Some chapters will be more plot driven than others, but there will be a plot!
Anywho! I've wanted to write something for FFXV for a while now. I bounced around between pairings and ideas for a while before I ended up with anything I thought was worth posting. Anyone who is familiar with my other works knows that I am a sucker for angst, hurt/comfort, the unrequited, and the tragic. I love a good seemingly doomed, underrepresented couple…so here we are! ;)
Thanks again for reading and I hope you enjoyed the first chapter!
