Eat a Little Dirt
Prologue


Suck, suck, suck…

Lord Koenma stared down at the relatively small file on his desk that was spread open on the limited space of his desk. He had mounds of paper piles along his desk but he couldn't keep his eyes from this one file, as if it was the file that held the 'end of the world' but of course, he knew that wasn't true. There was only a small picture in the left hand corner, followed by some facts, but Koenma didn't like the 'special request' from his father so far. To him, this file had too many potentials of a Sensui wannabe and that was not something he wanted to repeat. But then again, the bold-red letters from the notes his father's assistant had included, which were his personal recommendations, had a certain grasp around his decision.

UNDERSTANDS ORDER AND SUPERIORITY – GOOD ACADEMICS AND ATHLETICS

Suck, suck, suck…

"GAH, WHY IS THIS SO DIFFICULT?!" Koenma screamed out, almost enough to shake the walls surrounding his office space. The multi-colored ogres filing to and from the office paused, staring over at the toddler ruler with mixed emotions of shock and fear. Koenma pushed a hand against his forehead and groaned, sucking on his pacifier even more.

A blue ogre to his left wearing a leopard print loincloth moved forward cautiously; should Lord Koenma be in as horrid of a mood as he appeared to be, all ogres were at risk. But this particular ogre had a slight soft spot for the toddler ruler for how much they've been through together. The blue ogre peeked over the ruler's shoulder carefully and peered down at the file the ruler was so adamantly staring at. The ogre didn't see the problem. From the small background and minor facts, the person seemed most adequately fit for the new spirit detective position. "Koenma, sir," the blue ogre stated, just a level higher than a whisper. Lord Koenma looked over at him, irritation plainly written on his face. "W-What seems to be the problem?" the ogre asked.

"What does it look like, ogre?!" Koenma questioned. The ogre shuddered and sighing, Lord Koenma looked back down at the file. "My father's assistant sent me this about an hour ago and I'm not sure if I want this particular person as a spirit detective. Her background seems pristine for this job: missing parents, unstable uncle, and a pet pork-chop. However, it's the personality information that worries me. Most of the traits I'm reading are similar with how Sensui's file looked. And I can't risk another spirit detective going insane!" At this point, Koenma had his hands tearing at the hat on his head, whining out in a small tantrum as the ogre frowned down at him, getting the usual uncomfortable feeling. Koenma moaned and pushed his hands to his face, taking a deep breath.

"And if I ignore this 'special request' from my father, I'm sure to be guaranteed a thousand spankings and after the last batch… I'm not sure if my fanny can take anymore." Koenma let out a few tears in the memory of his last disciplinary'appointment' that was established when he had chosen his previous spirit detective over his father's words. Koenma still had those days fresh in his memory, despite the thirty-year gap between then and presently. He had wished more than anything to keep Yusuke Urameshi as a spirit detective but the yokai blood that coursed through his veins nowadays was not something his father saw suitable. To King Enma, it was a liability if Yusuke ever decided to take full control of his yokai blood and wreak havoc all throughout the human world, it would be Enma's head, not Yusuke's.

"Well, after the last two you've had, I think she's a perfect match, sir!" the blue ogre piped in, most excitedly with a pump of his fist in the air and a large grin plastered on his face. Lord Koenma tried not to show his anger but his eye twitched and he could feel a vein pulsating in the right hand part of his forehead; it was getting increasingly harder to control his temper tantrums since he'd been unable to find an adequate spirit detective. The one he had found after Yusuke Urameshi was…simply pathetic. His spiritual energy was renowned but the idiot had no idea how to control it and in fact, it caused the most embarrassing implosion of the poor fellow.

And his most recent one was, to say the least, worse than one of Yusuke's team members. 'That guy had some serious emotional issues,'Koenma thought as his eyes drifted over the file before him. The prior spirit detective went missing only two months ago and even though Koenma had a small thought of where said detective was, he didn't care at the moment. He could send out his new spirit detective to retrieve the 'hermit' from the caves he was infecting his filth upon. "I wouldn't doubt he was gutting rats and spewing scorpions," Koenma whispered harshly to himself, sighing.

"OK! I've made up my mind," Lord Koenma announced. The handful of ogres in the room all turned to look at him, faking interest and some had mild interest strewn across their ugly faces. "George, fetch me Botan!" Lord Koenma stated. The blue ogre to his left nodded and sprang into action, leaving the office. Koenma folded the file and sucked away at his pacifier as he let his mind wander.

Having seven-hundred years under his belt, his mind was somewhat stuffed up with those seven-hundred years' worth of crap. He's had a total of five spirit detectives so far and he really wished he could keep one for longer than a couple years, especially Yusuke and Sutou Kuroko. Sensui was the best of them all but the aftermath of him was enough for Koenma to never wish to make that mistake again. He took the utmost cautiousness in picking spirit detectives nowadays; people more like Yusuke, with a single-tracked mind and the ability to accept that evil lay on both the demon and human world. The file he had stared at for hours was of someone he wasn't sure had that ability but this would be on his father's neck, not his, Koenma assumed. The notes in bold-red were evidence of that.

"Koenma, sir, you wished to see me?" a springy voice called. Koenma looked up to see his most trusted grim reaper, or fetcher of souls, or ferry—whichever the preference and religion. The woman was tall and lean with a head of natural blue hair and bubblegum pink eyes. She was wearing a pink and blue kimono and was just willing her oar away as she smiled at him. Lord Koenma grinned, pushing his hands on the edge of his desk to lean forward.

"Botan, finally!" he stated. "I have a task for you that you need to assume as soon as possible, no questions asked, got it?" Botan blinked, but nodded as Koenma sat back on his seat and flipped the file open before him. "This is a new recommendation from my father for a new spirit detective…"

"But, sir, what about Roku?" Botan asked. Roku was the name of the hermit he had recruited and was missing in action. Koenma sighed and pushed his forefinger and middle finger against his forehead, rubbing the tension that started to brew behind the skull there. Botan leaned forward on the desk and grinned. "Oh, sir, she's beautiful!" Botan exclaimed. "I'm so glad you've decided on another female. Perhaps Sutou would be willing to train her." Koenma chuckled.

"Botan, please, Sutou is nearly eighty years old. She's in no shape to train a fresh detective," Koenma remarked. Botan giggled.

"Sorry, it's been a while since I've kept track of the years gone by in the human world. Has it really been thirty years since Yusuke was our detective? My goodness," Botan rambled. "I'll have to take a vacation one of these months to go see him… Oh, and Keiko and Yukina and-"

"Botan,"Koenma warned. Botan blinked and looked down at him, grinning apologetically."Like I was saying, I have a mission for you to pick up our new recruit. Her name is Rivers Kameko. She lives a mere five blocks from where Kurama lives. Perhaps you can have him assist you since he's much better with words than you are, for sure." Botan flushed.

"I can be good with words if I wanted to be," Botan argued. Koenma looked up at him with a knowing look crossing his face. Botan pursed her lips and waved him away, scoffing. "I don't have to prove myself but fine, I'll see if Kurama can assist me. But I think his mother passed away recently, so he might have already left for the demon world to be with Yomi. Or am I completely wrong on that?" Koenma sighed.

"No, you are correct. His human mother did pass away, but stop by his house in the meanwhile, just to see. He might have not left yet," Koenma ensured. Botan nodded. "Keep me posted." Botan nodded and walked from the room, summoning his oar. "Oh, and Botan?"

"Yes, sir?"she called back, looking back at him. She frowned, seeing him hunched over the file with a strenuous expression on his face.

"Let me know what you're impression is of her," Koenma stated. It could have been a question but Botan was sure it was more of a demand than a request. Botan nodded and walked from the toddler ruler's office. Lord Koenma groaned and threw himself back against the chair, spinning it in a circle briefly before stopping it with his foot to glare at the file. "Oh, just light up on fire, would you?" he hissed before hastily folding the file and shoving it in the middle drawer of his desk. He reached for his seal and began on the mounds that gathered in the hours he spent thinking on this newest recommendation.


AuthorNotes: So, I know it's been a very long time since I posted anything, and I'm incredibly sorry for that. I have just been going through a lot of family drama and my heart wasn't in my stories, so anything I produced felt like complete crap. Lol I've decided to post a story that I've been working on for some time and felt it's time it can be posted. Posting won't be too often, but every once in a while since I am currently working on a fiction of my own so this will be a way to keep my mind from becoming overwhelmed. Lol But I hope you enjoyed it! :) Please let me know your thoughts if you have a moment! Thank you!