'This is no manga. The story doesn't end when the girl says 'yes'. You are not entitled to your happy ending unless you earn it.'
Disclaimed.
"Koko, we need to talk."
And there she goes again. How many of these talks have we had already?
"Koko, I'm serious this time. I really can't do this anymore."
And I'm serious about being in love with you. Why don't you see that?
"Ten years, Koko. Ten years."
Has it really been that long?
"I don't know what to say anymore, Koko. I just want…"
What do you want from me? I don't know anymore. I really don't.
"What happened to you? What happened to that cute, charming seventeen-year-old childhood friend that I fell in love with? What happened to that humorous idiot that could say 'I love you' with dead seriousness and make me completely weak? What happened to that self-assured partner I could rely on?"
There you go again with the compliments in past tense.
"Goddamn it, Koko. Say something!"
What do you even want me to say? I love you? I need you? I've done that every day of my life for the past ten years. What more do you want from me? A bed of roses?
"Koko, we've been together for so long. I could take your fooling around back when we were still skirting around the topic like a bunch of love-struck idiots, but reality check. We're twenty-seven now."
Why does age even matter? It's just a number.
Bite back that comment, Koko. You know it's just going to piss her off even more.
"Don't just stand there, you idiot!"
Don't look at me like that. I don't like that scornful look.
I miss that smile of yours.
"Koko, are you even serious about us anymore? Have you ever been serious?"
I'm in love with you. Isn't being in love enough?
"My feelings are not a joke, damn it. I've stayed with you for so long, and all I've seen you do is screw around. Have you really ever considered our relationship seriously at all?"
I treat you like a princess. Of course I'm serious.
"Koko."
Stop that. I hate that tone.
"You've given me ten fucking years of lip-service, Koko. Have you ever really considered me as anything more than just a romantic friend?"
I lay my heart bare for you every single day. I try my hardest to make you happy.
"We're not in high school anymore, Koko. This love thing isn't just dates and balloons and chocolates anymore. It's not all rainbows and sunshine, and stupid little cheesy walks in the park. Not anymore."
And yet, we were so happy back then, weren't we?
"You need to stop this… This damned indecision of yours. We're children no longer."
My heart is yours. Isn't that enough?
"That's just you trying to placate me. You know it."
Weren't we made for each other?
"Bull. We've never been the ideal pair, and you know that."
We've been together for ten years.
"That's exactly why. You're not getting any younger, Koko. I'm not getting any younger."
We're still young.
"And when will you get it into that thick skull of yours that dating isn't going to give us a life together?"
But, we're still young.
"We aren't, Koko! Look at Natsume and Mikan!"
Stop comparing. Why are you comparing?
"They've been married for three years already. We've been together longer than they have, and you're still flirting with the idea of proposing. That is, if you were even considering it, to begin with."
There it is. That word.
"What is it? Don't give me that blank look."
I can't do this.
"Even Kitsu's gotten it in his head to make his girlfriend his fiancé. Kitsu, Koko."
Clench fists. Unclench fists.
Stop comparing. I'm not ready.
"What are you going to say? You're not ready? Not prepared?"
That's precisely it. I can't. I can't commit.
"Is it really that much of a leap of faith, Koko? I want to be your bride. I want a life with you. Is getting married really that difficult?"
I can't imagine a life like that.
"You can't- what?"
I can't. I just can't.
"So… All these years… What have all these years meant to you? Have they all been some kind of sick game? Some long, elaborate, and twisted prank? Is that it, Koko? Is that it?"
Your slap stings almost as much as that accusation.
Then again, maybe I do deserve it.
"What's with the silence?"
I have no right to speak.
"So my heart has really been your toy for the past ten years, then? Just some stupid yo-yo you thought you could play around with?"
I love you.
"Then why won't you-"
I can't.
"You're not making sense anymore, Koko."
It's not you. It's me.
"Blaming yourself won't get you anywhere."
I can't do this. Stop making me do something I don't want to.
"Koko, I want to be happy. I want to be happy with you."
Can't we have bliss without a wedding? We're fine as-is.
"You're lying through your teeth. We are most definitely not fine. I want a future, Koko. I want kids. I want a house. I want to wake up with you by my side every day. Is something like that so hard?"
There is no way I am ready for that.
"Our time is running shorter each day you choose to doubt yourself, idiot."
I know that.
"You don't seem to."
I know it. I just don't want to recognize it, damn it.
"What are you, a kid?"
Maybe I just don't want to grow up.
Are you trying to say you don't love me anymore because of that?
"I do love you, Koko. But as much as I can spend my days idly going 'I love you', all that hot air is going to go nowhere if we- no, if you don't grow up and take responsibility."
You sound like mom.
"Koko, you need to let go of your immaturity."
I don't want to be an adult. Not yet.
"The clock's ticking, Koko. Time is not on our side. You can't keep wasting precious minutes on these childish fantasies."
But we were perfectly happy. We were in love. You said 'yes', and then we did so many happy things. Can't it just remain like this?
"Koko, those are memories from an age long past. You have to grow up."
And what if I refuse?
"Clinging on to those childish, idealistic views will get you nowhere, Koko. Nowhere."
Nowhere is better than uncharted territory.
"So you're going to remain a kid because that's what makes you happy? Because that's what causes you the least fear?"
Even if you put it that way, I don't want to let go of that life. Not yet. I'm not ready. I know I'm not ready.
"And when will you ever be ready? I don't have forever. I don't."
It won't be forever. I promise.
"Empty promises will get you nowhere."
I'm not ready. Not now. Not yet. I don't want to let go just yet.
"You're hurting me with this, Koko."
And you're not hurting me?
"You're being just like a child! Stop being so damn selfish."
…
"Koko!"
…
"You're living in an illusion that's long past its prime, Koko. You have to let go."
Just a while longer.
"We can't keep this up forever. I'm tired. I love you, but I'm tired."
There's no fear of being hurt if we just stayed as we were. We can still be happy. I'm sure about that. I'll make you happy.
"Koko, this is no fictional world. This is no fairytale. We have responsibilities, and we are losing time. I can't stay with you if all you are going to do is keep delaying and keeping up this childish and idealistic illusion."
But I'm not ready.
"Then we'll have to become ready. Together."
And if we fail?
"We try again."
I don't want to get hurt. I don't want to do this.
"Then you're leaving me with little choice, Koko. If you can't move forward with me, I'm going to have to leave you behind."
What do you mean? I just want you to wait for a little while more. Just a little while more.
"I can't."
I need time.
"And I have none left."
You've waited ten years.
"Ten years is long enough."
But-
"I'm out of options, Koko, even though what I'm going to do will break our hearts. This was your last chance."
What do you mean?
"I'm breaking up with you, Koko."
You can't do this. I love you. I love you more than the world.
"Evidently you didn't love me enough to become mature for my sake."
Don't go. I just need more time. Just… More time. I'll do it. But I can't do it now.
"You had your chance, Koko."
One more chance. Please. Don't leave me. Don't go away. I don't want that.
"I have to. I need to. You'll never grow up, otherwise. I know that."
I'll grow up. All you need to do is stay with me.
"I've stayed for long enough. I've stayed for far too long."
We can still make this work. What can I do without you? What will I do without you? We'll get through this, like all those other hurdles. I just know it. Please.
"I'm tired of your excuses, Koko. I love you. I loved you, but I can't take it anymore."
I can't live without you. Don't do this to me. Please. Just… Don't.
"I'm sorry, Koko.
Sumire!
"Goodbye."
A/N: Happy (very) Belated Birthday, and Merry (early) Christmas, buttercupbella. Hope you like my angst offering. I know this isn't anything special, and it's not my best work, but I hope you like it anyway. I tried. ;A;
