Taboo

Chapter One

"Have you seen Steve since you've been a free woman again?" Oscar asked cautiously. Jaime had been out of the hospital for nearly a month, and as he walked through downtown Ojai with her, trying to judge her emotional and physical recovery, Oscar was relieved to see the glow had begun to return to her cheeks, and the spring to her step. Many of the damaged brain cells that had caused Jaime's amnesia had been surgically regenerated, but in the portion of her mind and her heart where Steve should've been, all that remained was a blank, empty feeling.

"Twice," she said softly, "when he's been between assignments." Jaime sighed, and her eyes grew distant and sad.

"What is it, Babe? Did something happen?"

"No. That's the trouble; nothing happened. Oscar, I tried so hard!"

"Maybe that's the problem."

"Huh?"

"Don't try; it has to come naturally." Oscar was well aware of how close Steve and Jaime had been before the amnesia. They'd been so right together. His heart broke for both of them, for what they'd lost – possibly forever.

"What if it doesn't?" Jaime said, forcing back a tear. "What if it's just...gone?"

"You can't force a feeling that just isn't there. Steve knows that, and yes, it hurts him, but he's learned to accept it."

"Well, I haven't! It isn't fair!" As they crossed the wide, green lawn next to the library, Jaime sat on one of the swings and pensively dug her toes into the sand. "Don't get me wrong; I'm grateful to be alive right now. I know I shouldn't be."

Oscar knew that initially, Jaime had not been a happy recipient of the 'miracle' of bionics. She'd been mad as hell that she hadn't been allowed to die. So, even though he dreaded the answer, he had to ask the question. "You're grateful...but are you happy, Jaime?"

"To be alive? Or just in general?"

"Both."

Jaime paused at the unexpected query. "If I had died, I would've never seen this day, with the sky so bright, the warm breeze, the fresh air. And I'd never have gotten the chance to find out that the Director of the OSI is really a softie at heart."

"Who – me?" Oscar allowed himself a wide, pleasant grin. "Watch what you say, Sommers. In some circles, that could be considered slander."

"Yeah, right." Jaime chuckled, and Oscar relaxed at the sound. "I guess what I'm saying is, yes, I am happy I didn't die. And grateful...to you."

"Steve had a lot to do with it too, you know."

"But it was your rubber stamp -"

Oscar pretended to stiffen, but his voice was almost playful. "I'll have you know that I have never once used a 'rubber stamp'. Each and every one of my signatures is in pure ink, and probably quite collectible."

"Oh, really? I'll have to start saving copies of all my assignment notes, then. If I ever get any." She turned her head to look directly at him, and was a little surprised to see that when Oscar wasn't in boss mode, his whole face seemed different. How can such gentle eyes be so deep? Jaime thought to herself, hoping he couldn't see how he'd suddenly distracted her. She almost wished she didn't have to ask a 'boss' question. "So, when do I get to come back, anyway?"

Oscar smiled. He was noticing he did a lot of that when he was with Jaime. "Do you know how many of my operatives would practically kill for some R & R?"

"So give it to one of them," she said lightly. "I wanna work."

"Says the operative who is currently seated on a playground swing?" he teased. When she started to get up, though, he shook his head. "No – don't do that. It...sort of suits you." Watch it, Goldman, his head warned his heart. You're about to step into dangerous territory. Take a nice, deep breath and a giant step backward. In deference to his good sense, Oscar stopped talking, but instead of backing away he took another step closer. Damn, she's beautiful...!

The 'man/woman' vibe hit them both at the same time, but it felt shocking and strange, and they both shook it off as quickly as it had appeared. Startled, Jaime jumped from the swing, then did a happy little twirl in front of him, ending with a flourish and a bow.

"See?" she chirped. "One fully recovered agent, fit and ready for duty!"

And definitely in fine form...Oscar's head and his heart were – for once – in total agreement.

- - - - - -

Later, when Jaime had returned home and Oscar had settled into his hotel room for the night, both were dwelling on the same thing: thoughts that, for two very separate sets of reasons, they knew they could never act upon.

Jaime longed to be able to do the work her bionically-redesigned body had been equipped for, and she wasn't about to let a kind smile and a pair of deep, mesmerizing eyes stand in her way.

For Oscar, the employer/employee taboo loomed too large to ignore. He'd earned his position and its accompanying status, and did not intend to place all of his hard work in jeopardy now.

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