The worst thing that could happen.

The dinner was all wrong.

Oh, not the dinner. The food was good, the restaurant was very nice, and the ambiance was relaxing. Their dinner companions had agreed to the reunion without too much fuss, and it seemed that Marcus and Lin were being nice about the blind date situation.

Things started to go wrong after their meals were finished, when the sale of the safe house had already been discussed. Marcus, sitting in front of Joan's sister, had spent the time observing her with discretion, listening to the story about how the safe house landed in Sherlock's hands and how "Watson seems to prefer a dilapidated brownstone to a luxury apartment", in Sherlock's words. But he couldn't resist when Lin gave them an estimation of the price on the market.

"How much? Man, I would have abandoned my own mother for the opportunity to live rent-free in a place like that."

"Rent-free?" Joan asked, confused.

"I wasn't going to be her landlord" explained Sherlock. "The place was going to be hers."

That made Marcus open his mouth in shock and grab the table edge with both hands.

"You mean it was a gift? He was going to give you a luxury apartment in New York? And you rejected a luxury apartment in New York to stay with him?"

"Calm down, Marcus. It's not such a big deal" said Joan.

"Not a big deal. Right. Whatever. Lin, what would you have done?"

"For a place like that? I would have ditched him so fast you could see dust under my feet." said Lin, amused.

Sherlock was watching them sternly.

"You two" he said "are made for each other, and I'm not saying that as a compliment. You share greed as one of your definitory character traits. I knew that about Lin, of course, but I have to say that Inspector Bell is being a disappointment."

Lin started to laugh, but Marcus seemed to be hurt by the comment.

"Oh, come on! It's not fair to blame us for wanting something better than we have. And we aren't exactly talking about selling a friend for a couple of hundreds. This is just... distancing yourself a little for several millions!"

"The amount of money is not important. Greed is not a financial issue, but a heart one. That's why Watson will always have access to everything I own."

"Because she doesn't want it?" replied Marcus, a little sarcastically.

But before Sherlock could reply Joan felt she had to intervene.

"Okay, enough. Lin, thank you very much for your assistance. Marcus, I'm happy where I am now, thank you. I'm lucky to have a place that I can call home, and I don't feel the need to "have something better", like you said, because I already have what I want."

"A psychotic partner and a dangerous job?" tried Marcus.

"A ruined house and no sex life?" tried Lin.

Joan had never felt so outraged. That was how her friends saw her? She was going to give her sister and the policeman a piece of her mind when Sherlock spoke up.

"I have to protest about this treatment" he said, emphatically, and Joan got her hopes up. Her partner had been born with the gift of eloquence, and he always defended her. In fact, there had been other times when he has defended her so vehemently that she had been forced to drag him away to calm him down and assure him that, while she was grateful for the sentiment, it wasn't necessary to rip a new one on everybody that pointed out one of her many faults. But this time she was going to let him have at it. All the way. Cut to the bone. Unleash the beast, Sherlock. Destroy them both.

"I am not in any way psychotic." he continued. "Psychosis is a serious illness characterized by an impaired relationship with reality. People who are psychotic may have either hallucinations or delusions, and I think that in all this time I have made it obvious that my vision of reality is crystal clear."

It was then with his crystal clear vision that he saw Joan staring him down, and he paled visibly. Never before had he reviewed a whole conversation in his head so fast, but he broke a new record and stammered a little.

"I... I mean... the job is indeed dangerous, and the brownstone is in dire need of repairing and painting. And it would be pointless to deny... well... that."

He then tried to hide behind a sip of water and, Marcus, sympathetic, used his right hand to shield his friend from the stare of death.

"Wow, Joan, you might want to dial your eyes back a notch or two, you're gonna turn the poor guy into stone."

Lin slid over a little to give her half-sister a side hug.

"Joannie, every person at this table loves you dearly, and we just want the best for you. And, frankly, honey, it would be for the best if you finally open your eyes and see."

"See what?" replied Joan, still sulking a little.

"See that you're already in a relationship and the only thing left for you to do is to realize it and act on it. And this goes for you too" said Lin to Sherlock.

"What is she talking about?" Joan asked Sherlock, in an exaggerated whisper that could be easily heard.

"I don't have the foggiest idea" replied Sherlock using her same tone.

"You're very funny" continued Lin, "but single people don't organize blind dates for their friends."

"What are you implying, Lin?" asked Joan.

Lin got comfortable, pleased with the attention, and began to explain her theory.

"Think about it. This" said she waving her hand at Marcus "is a very fine man. Handsome, clean, good manners, in a steady job, and incredibly nice..."

"Thank you" Exhibit A tried to say shyly.

"... and you're shamelessly offering him to me. Why? Because you're over. Really over. Not over in the sense of 'weeeeell, I'm not looking to date at the moment, let's see in the future', but over in the sense of 'I don't have to do this anymore'. Because you're already in a relationship."

"With my job?" asked Watson.

"No, silly! With Sherlock!" concluded Lin, waving her hand at Exhibit B, who was sitting in silence, watching the scene with the same horrified face with which one observes a train crash.

"Lin," said Joan in a patient voice, "of course we have a relationship. We're friends, and roommates..."

"Roommates? Do you want to talk to me about roommates? Honey, I've had more roommates than you have fingers in your hands. Both hands. I've had straight men, gay men, and women too, also gay and straight..."

"I suddenly pity a lot of people" whispered Sherlock, almost getting Joan not to notice.

"Don't interrupt her, this is getting interesting" replied Marcus, staring at Lin.

"Will you two shut up?" hissed Joan.

"... and not one of them, listen to me, sis, not even one, gave this vibe I'm getting with you two."

"We give a vibe" said Joan with the perfect deadpan.

"Oh, yes."

Joan looked at Marcus, who was nodding at everything Lin had said. She looked at Sherlock too, but she could find no help there, as he was half staring at Lin, half sulking. Joan sighed.

"Ok, I'll bite. What vibe?"