Awful Sweet to be a Little Butterfly


Awful sweet to be a little butterfly
Just winging over things and nothing deep inside
Nothing going, going wild in you, you know
You're slowing by the riverside, or floating high and blue
"Don't Do Sadness" - Spring Awakening


Azula walks out of the all-day war meeting, feeling oddly invigorated, but also like she wants to pass out. Her neck is sticky with sweat from the flames that masked her as she sat to the left of her father. And, when no one would look, she would visualize her position adjusted, in the place reserved for the ruler of her nation. So far, all is going according to plan.

"Hey," comes a familiar voice when she walks into the dusty library. This is where she comes to be alone; she had no idea that her friend had access to it. Ty Lee is on her head. "You know, upside down is a great angle for you, princess."

Azula does not respond, she sits down on the antique chair, nestled amongst the scrolls and books. It looks less unused than usual; Zuko has been here. She sits on it as if it were a throne, but she leans slightly to the side, casual and cavalier. She would be a mighty ruler.

"Are you ready for the invasion?" Azula asks, attempting small talk, and Ty Lee twists back into a position that looks normal. She sits with her legs crossed and shrugs.

"That was really brilliant of you. Figuring it all out," Ty Lee says, deflecting the question. But the compliments are appreciated, though Azula knows them all too well.

"You may notice that I'm behind all the great victories of the Fire Nation in our time," Azula says, examining her nails. Her head is swimming with her ideas to utilize the comet. Her mind flickers to the expression on Zuko's face, and then back to her own plots.

"What are you thinking about?" Ty Lee intrudes on Azula's conniving yet again.

"It must be nice to live so thoughtlessly," Azula says, meaning it as a purring insult. But she has to admit, that every scathing remark she makes has a kernel of truth. "Just do things impulsively. Follow orders. Hm."

"I don't think it would suit you very well, if that's not out of line," Ty Lee says, her hand touching the arm of the chair. Her fingertips brush against Azula's wrist and Azula feels a slight shiver. "You like to be a few steps ahead of everybody else. That's why you always win. I usually follow my heart... but... that's why I feel so confident following you."

Azula smirks. Small, barely noticeable, signature to her. It is the smug smile of someone who does nothing but win.

"Well, this has been a charming conversation, but I'll be going to bed now. All day war meeting, pretty tired." She stands up, yawning pointedly. It is fake, but still contagious, Ty Lee's hand is clamped over her own mouth as her jaw stretches.

Azula would have stayed longer, but being around Ty Lee of late makes her feel like someone she is not.


Azula lies awake, her brain unable to shut off. The moon is high in the sky, clouds shrouding it with the light grey of ash. Her legs are twisted around ruby blankets, her arms sprawled and still not reaching the edges of her bed. She is gauging Zuko's reaction, and what will happen when the Avatar inevitably shows up with the invasion force.

She gets up, not bothering to change out of her red and gold kimono robe, and she walks towards the courtyard. The flowers are pretty, she has to admit. The volcanoes of the Fire Nation make the flora bloom into indescribable works of art.

"Princess?" Ty Lee asks. She has her fingertips running in the recently cleaned fountain. Azula walks towards her, the moonlight making patterns on her skin. "You can't sleep?"

"Clearly," Azula purrs, weighing her odds slowly and then sitting down beside her loyal follower. The water splashes against Azula's wrist as Ty Lee is recklessly treading it with her fingers. "And neither can you?"

"Sometimes I just can't stop thinking," Ty Lee says with a small, blithe shrug. Azula finds her all too positive, though the cheerleading for Azula's success strokes her ego magnificently.

"That's every day of my life," Azula says earnestly, surprised at her own honesty. Silence.

"Will you do something for me, princess? I think it'll help you be ready for the invasion tomorrow." Ty Lee asks and Azula supposes she has nothing to lose. Azula nods smoothly. "Just for one minute, don't think about anything."

Azula hesitates. It sounds impossible. Even when she trains obsessively, bending for hours, her thoughts are swimming. It is what makes her such a formidable foe. Her swirling thoughts, once laid out and sorted, won her Ba Sing Se, after her predecessors failed time and time again to bring the walls to the ground.

"I'll humor you," Azula purrs, closing her eyes. She opens them again, trying to keep her mind blank.

And, for the first time in her life, she feels like she is in the moment. Like while in battle, except instead of analyzing a move her opponent is only beginning to conceive, she is soaring on flames.

For the first time, she is in the moment. And she is looking at Ty Lee.

And she is so beautiful.

In the moment, dancing on this airy state of mindlessness, she leans forward and presses her lips against those of her friend. Foolish, reckless, not suitable for Princess Azula the conqueror. The manipulator. The beautiful. The clever. The currently weak-kneed. But Ty Lee digs her fingernails into Azula's shoulders, returning the kiss tenfold.

For the first time, she is in the moment. And as she pulls away from the kiss, she is looking at someone she has always harbored confusion for. There is an incredible beauty that Azula never noticed before, and not the kind that would fill her to the brim with envy.

This moment, if she could capture it, she would remember it forever.

Because she is alive. And looking at somebody she would dare to say she loved.

And she is so beautiful.

end