The clock on the wall documents passing time.
My heart beats red-gold through me
My eyes gaze aimlessly with just no focus
Clench my hand. I feel the pencil. It's cold and smooth.
Open my mouth to talk. But no one is there to listen.
Look down. Clean paper looking back at me.
Look at the time. No can't leave yet.
Professor keeps rambling on. No reason to care anymore.
Head down. The table is cold.
Hand on my shoulder. Look up. Concern.
Questions and lies. ... slip the mask back on.
Eye contact. Let nothing show. Lies can't protect what the eyes project.
Set my face. Fake the correct emotions.
Finally interrogation is over. Let the fakeness slip.
Let my mind think what these emotions are.
let my false smile form. I form false happiness.
Watching others eyes. Read the stories from their eyes.
So unique. Yet so common.
Look into my eyes. Can you tell my story?
No. Good no one is allowed too.
My eyes only show what I let. The walls I have built.
Everyone sees a mask. No one can see my true face.
look up. Time to leave. Time for another mask.
Phone goes off. "Yes, love you also"
Love. I'm lost. I've told myself I've forgotten love.
Yet my deep in my mind I ask myself how one forgets something they've never learned.
As I leave. A friend.. no just some I associate with.
Friends are a weakness.
we've learned to trust no one.
Learned to lock the heart away in its own tower.
guarded by something scarier than a dragon. ...logic.
Let logic guide me.
Emotions lead to crack
Yet the world uses emotions instead of logic.
The world moves on. Not stopping for anyone.
I fight to stay ahead. So that I don't get swallowed up.
Useless is the only thing that rings through my head as a couple walk past me.
They don't know. But one will break the others heart.
They can't see it. Only from the outside can you see it.
a cycle which I won't involve myself in.
From lovers to strangers.
Memories wasted.
Talking aimlessly. Why? Why talk without reason.
Walking closer to home. Put those thoughts to rest.
my blood. My family. My only weakness.
Slip into my bedroom.
Look into my mirror and see my greatest fear.
Myself.
