Title: FREEDOM
Author: Brokeback Mountain
Rating: NC-17 FRAO
Disclaimer: These characters belong to Annie Proulx. I make no money
Off of them.
Summary: Lureen tries to decide what to give Jack for their 20th wedding
Anniversary. Her decision? She gave him his freedom – a divorce.
FREEDOM
Ennis stepped out of the shower, dried off and put his pajama bottoms
and a clean undershirt on. He opened a beer; laid down on his bed and
turned the TV on. He lay there flipping from channel to channel when
he heard the vehicle stop outside. He ignored it. Since his trailer
was the first one from the road, people often stopped and asked for
directions. A knock at the door brought him to his feet. He let out
a loud belch and set his bottle down on the sink.
He looked through the window at the woman standing there and thought,
boy do you have the wrong place lady. Must be really lost.
A second knock came just as he undid the chain and opened the door.
"You lost?" He asked.
"That depends. Are you Ennis Del Mar?" She asked, straightening her
jacket, brushing off the dust. This woman clearly had never been in a
trailer park before. Her sort amused Ennis. She looked like
something out of a magazine, all prettied up, fancy jewelry and all.
"Who's askin?" What in the world would this woman want with him?
"My name is Lureen Twist. I've come a long way to talk with you. May
I come in?"
If he hadn't just emptied his bladder a few minutes ago, he'd have
peed his pants for sure.
"Uh..Yeah. Come on in. Jack with you?" He craned his neck to see if
anyone else was in the car.
"No. He's home; in Childress." She walked into the room and stood
looking around.
"Here." He pulled out his one kitchen chair for her to sit on. He
sat on the corner of his bed, across from her.
She sat down, trying not to touch anything, hands folded neatly in her
lap.
"I've been wantin to meet you for years but Jack tells me you don't
much care for travelin."
"I pretty much stay around here." He couldn't take his eyes off her.
She certainly was beautiful but he couldn't imagine Jack and her
together.
"I appreciate you seein me like this; without my callin first, I mean."
"Sure. No problem. Can I get you something? Beer? I think I got
some wine?" He stood to get her something; switched off the TV.
"No, nothin. Thank you. Just conversation is all I've come for."
"OK." He sat back down, dreading where this was leading; willing
himself to keep cool.
"You and Jack have known each other for a long time."
"That's right. Since '63."
"That's before we were married. We were married in '64."
"Yes, Ma'am"
"Do you have any idea at all, why I'm here?"
"No, Ma'am, I don't. I was wonderin."
"Our 20th wedding anniversary is coming up and I wanted to get
something special for Jack. Something he'd really appreciate."
"Ma'am, I don't know 'bout such things. I usually just give my girls
money when it's gift-givin time."
She smiled at him. He was nice and polite, she thought. She decided
she liked him.
"Do you have a cigarette? I left mine in the car."
"Sure thing." he got his package from the bed and gave her one; took
one himself and lit them both with a flick of his lighter. He dumped
the ashtray and brought it over to the table and sat back down.
She took a long drag on the cigarette and blew the smoke towards the
ceiling, her eyes not leaving Ennis' face.
"You mean a lot to Jack. You do know that, don't you?" She smiled at
him.
"Like I said; we knowed each other a long time." Ennis puffed nervously.
"I won't torture you any longer. Actually, I've already decided on
what I'm going to give Jack."
"Ma'am?" He squinted at her, not understanding her womanly ways at all.
"I'm giving Jack his freedom. I'm divorcing him."
"Aah... You sure 'bout that? You think that's what he wants?"
"I never did know for sure what he wanted. I just knew it wasn't me."
There was nothing he could say to that.
"Oh, don't look like that. It's OK." She soothed him, tapping her
ashes off into the ashtray.
"I just wanted to meet my competition. After seein you, I can see
there's no way I could ever compete."
"Ma'am, I really don't know what you're talkin 'bout." He thought
he'd try and run a bluff.
"I loved Jack the first moment I laid eyes on him." She said.
"I'm the one did all the chasin. Next thing I knew, I was pregnant.
He stood by me though and we ran off and got married. Daddy didn't
exactly make it easy for him, but he's stood up to him more times than
I can count. Helped me, to do it too."
Ennis sat with his head down, staring at his bare feet. He really
didn't want to hear their love story.
"He stayed with me even after daddy offered him money to leave. He
didn't have to do that. He's a good man."
"Yes, Ma'am." He had no trouble agreeing with that.
"After daddy died last year, he helped me with runnin the business,
helped me when I had to put Momma in a home, and helps me constantly
with Bobby."
"He loves that boy." Ennis chimed in.
"Yes, I know he does. I've never doubted that. And he's loved me
Too; to a point."
Ennis looked up at her, guilt drawing him up tighter and tighter.
"I think I've always known that his heart was elsewhere." She smiled
a sad smile.
"Ma'am, I..."
"It's OK, really." She reached over and touched a pajama clad knee.
"He's going to be a very rich man shortly. I've decided to sell the
business. Childress has grown a lot in the last 20 years and the
business has as well. My daddy left me a very rich woman. I intend
to be very generous with Jack. He gave me 20 years of his life, and I
appreciate that. I intend to show that appreciation now. I'm giving
him his freedom and his share of the assets will come to a little over
6 million. Bobby's all set financially too, and I'm off with some
friends of mine to do a little travelin. Always did want to go to
Europe; just never had the time before." She put her cigarette out
in the ashtray. "I've got the time now. I'm gonna go have some fun."
She stood to go.
"A...Ma'am...I...a..." He didn't know what to say.
"I can see why he likes you." she said walking toward the door.
"You be good to him now, ya hear?" She smiled again and was out the
door and gone.
He heard the car start up and drive away. He stood there in shock.
Started back towards the bed, then turned and walked back to the door.
He ran his hand through his hair and swore. "Jesus H. Christ!" He
didn't know what to do. Should he call Jack? Does he know? What
exactly does she know? And who else knows? What the hell's he
supposed to do now? All these questions swirlled around in his mind.
He sat in his recliner and worried. What should he do? He didn't
know, so he sat there. Next thing he knew, it was daylight outside
and he had to jump to it and get ready for work. It was a long work
week, he'd worked late every day and had little time to worry or even
think about Jack and the current situation. Saturday morning he had
to go over to Alma's and pay the child support for Jenny. Two more
payments and he'd be finished with it. Jenny was leaving for Casper
right after her birthday party and moving in with his sister. She was
going to nursing school there. She had qualified for a scholarship
and would be there for the next few years at least.
Saturday found him in a good mood. He had decided he was going to
call Jack and talk with him. Tell him about Lureen's visit.
He had just gotten back from Alma's and sat eating a sandwich when a
knock came on the door. He hadn't paid much attention to the traffic
outside. There was always a lot more coming and going on the weekend.
A peek out the window showed a brand new Ford pick up parked next to
his. Just at that moment, his front door opened and Jack walked in.
"You really should keep your door locked. No tellin who's likely to
walk in." He grinned.
Ennis grabbed him in a bear hug and thought for a moment that he just
might not ever let go!
"Son of a bitch! What're you doin here?" He asked, so happy to feel
those arms around him again.
"Got some news. But then, I guess you already heard?" Jack pulled
back enough to see Ennis' face.
"She tell you she was here?" Ennis never would understand women!
"Yeah. She tell you 'bout my little present?"
"Sure enough. So you gonna be a rich playboy now?" Ennis gave him a
playful punch in the gut.
Jack smiled and pulled Ennis back into his arms. "There's only one
boy I wanna play with." He kissed the side of Ennis' neck.
Ennis tugged him back towards his bed; dropping hat, shirts, jeans,
boots, and underwear in the few steps it took to get there.
Long minutes spent caressing skin, sharing deep soul-satisfying
kisses; combustible passion ignited, and sated; they lay wrapped
around each other, desperate for the need of touching and being
touched, holding and being held.
Jack, flat on his back, spread-eagle; Ennis on his side next to him,
head on Jack's shoulder, arm thrown across his chest, legs entwined.
Sweet moments filled with contented sighs, soft nuzzling; breathing
in each other's air. Total contentment.
The silence was broken when Jack whispered against the top of Ennis'
head between little kisses he'd been pressing there.
"We need to have a serious discussion here."
"Don't wanna move. Ever." Ennis answered.
"Me neither. That's what I wanna talk about."
"Jack..."
"Please, Ennis. Just hear me out. Will you do that?"
"Sure enough; I can do that."
"I bought a place."
Ennis leaned up on his elbows, still within Jack's arms. "In Texas?"
"No. Lightning Flat."
"Be close to the folks." Ennis nodded his head.
"Right next door."
"Next place?"
"Yeah. It's been on the market for years with no takers. Got it real
cheap."
"Good for you." Ennis looked down and picked at his nails.
"The old man's gettin on, nearly 70 now. Once he's gone, we can
combine the two places. Have the biggest place in the area."
"Yeah."
"Too much for one man to handle on his own." Jack said.
Ennis nodded.
"Be needin help to run it. You know of any ranch hands in the area
lookin for work?"
Ennis brought his eyes up to Jack's.
"I know where you're goin with this, Jack..."
"You said you'd hear me out."
"I'm listenin."
"I been tellin the folks for years that I was goin to move back there;
help them with the place. Bein right next door, I'll be able to do that."
Ennis just nodded.
"Can't do it all myself."
Ennis was silent.
"Only natural, normal thing would be for me to hire someone. Wouldn't
raise nobody's suspicions. Long as we mind our manners while we're in
town, I don't see any problem."
Ennis got up and went into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.
He relieved himself, cleaned up, came back out and got dressed. Jack
did the same. Ennis had a beer in his hand and holding out another to
Jack when he finished dressing.
"You know how I feel about this, Jack."
"I know. But I'm askin you now to re-think this." He took a long
drink of beer.
"Don't see as how this changes anythin."
"Yes, it does, Ennis. We can protect ourselves now. We got our own
place. We could get us a coupla guard dogs; get some hand guns.
Whatever it would take to make you feel safe." Jack offered.
"People would find out!"
"Not if we're careful. Hell, Ennis. I'm not askin you to walk down
the street with me holdin hands. I'm offerin you a job. You could
pull your trailer up there. There'd be no reason at all for anyone to
suspect anything. It's our chance to be together like we always
wanted. At least, I thought that's what we both wanted. Maybe I just
been kiddin myself all these years. Maybe it ain't what you want at
all." He went from being hopeful to being dejected in a minute's time.
Ennis stood leaning back against the sink, staring down at the floor.
Jack walked over and picked up his hat. "I guess I just been foolin
myself all these years thinkin you wanted to be with me as much as I
wanted to be with you." He reached for the door.
"Jack..." Ennis stopped him.
"What?" Sad blue eyes looked up at him.
"It just ain't done...not around here."
"We're not talkin 'round here. We're talkin Lightning Flat. What do
you know about what goes on everywhere anyway? You peekin in people's windows
checkin on who's sleepin with who?" Jack didn't want to give up just yet.
"Jack. Everyone knows when two people live together..."
"And how would anyone know we was livin together? You gonna tell
them? Wouldn't they just think that the hired hand would be livin in
the trailer he pulled up and the ranch owner be livin in the house?
Isn't that what most people would think?"
"And if they found out different?"
"Christ, Ennis. I thought you wanted this as much as I do. I guess I
was wrong." He wrenched the door opened, went out and was in his
truck and gone before Ennis could stop him.
Ennis paced the floor, drinking, smoking and cursing. "Damn fool
thinks he can just fool people like that!" "He thinks I'm gonna risk
my life!" "Just 'cause he's got money don't mean he can change the
world!" "Son of a bitch, who does he think he is, anyway?"
"Thinks he can come in here wiggle that sweet ass in front of me and
I'll run off after him!" "Son of a fuckin bitch!" "Where the hell
does he get off thinkin he can make my decisions for me?" "Get us
both killed, with talk like that!" "Ain't no way you could pull
somethin like that off." "Asshole!"
He lay back on his bed as darkness fell. He put out his cigarette in
the overflowing ashtray. "He'll be back. He always comes back.
He'll see I'm right." With that in his mind he fell asleep. Sunday
morning came and with it a sick feeling, deep inside him. "What if he
doesn't come back?" "He'll be back!" He argued with himself. He
wouldn't even consider anything else. He went about doing his weekend
chores, even going into town and stocking up on a few groceries;
gassing up the truck. Came back home and put stuff away and washed
his truck, cleaned out the inside. All day, he fiddled around,
keeping busy, waiting. No phone calls, no visit, no Jack.
Mondy morning came and he was off to work, cursing every mile he
drove. He did his job; spoke to no one, drove back home.
Nothing. No one waiting him. No phone calls that evening either.
Anger turned slowly to self-pity. He was lonely, miserable and had
been all his life. There was nothing and no one gonna change that.
It was his lot in life and the sooner he accepted that the better.
He ate dinner out of a can and went to bed. Alone. Like he had
always been. He did notice though, if he slept on the pillow next to
the wall, he could still smell a little of Jack's aftershave. The
smell of Jack. He curled around that pillow and fell asleep.
The entire week went that way.
Saturday morning he awoke, showered, dressed, got in his truck and
headed east. Four hours later he pulled into the small town of
Lightning Flat. He stopped at the first gas station and asked
directions to the Twist Ranch. Thirty minutes later he pulled into
the Twist driveway. Jack's truck was parked there and he pulled up
next to it. He sat there for several minutes trying to decide what to
say. He stepped out and stretched and the thought occurred to him that
it had only been a four hour drive; and he wondered how Jack had so
eagerly made all those 14 hour drives without complaint. He
remembered the time Jack had come up to Riverton right after the
divorce and he had sent him away. A sickness rose inside of him as he
remembered the look on Jack's face. How many times had he hurt Jack?
And he always came back. This time, he wasn't so sure he would. He
had to find out.
A frail looking woman stepped out of the house, brushed her back into
place and waited for him to approach.
"Ma'am. My name is Ennis Del Mar. I come to see Jack. Is he
'round?" He stood, hat in hand.
A slow smile crossed her face, taking 20 years off her age. "Why, yes
he is. He'll be mighty pleased to see you." She nodded for him to
come in as she opened the door.
"He'll be right down. I got him and his Pa movin some furniture down
stairs."
He heard them on the stairs as he stood in the kitchen waiting. They
clunked their way into a back room and set the chest down.
"Jackie?" Mrs. Twist called. "You've got company."
"The guy from the bank? OK. Be right there." Jack's voice called.
Mrs. Twist gave Ennis a sweet smile and waited for her son. He came
into the room, tucking his shirt in. He looked up, saw Ennis and
froze in his tracks. The old man brushed past him into the kitchen.
"Who the hell are you? You ain't no banker." He glared at Ennis.
Mrs. Twist hurried around the kitchen getting glasses of tea for
everyone. She handed Ennis one and he thanked her.
"Pa. This is Ennis Del Mar. I been tellin you 'bout him." Jack said
staring at Ennis.
"Yer boyfriend? Don't look queer to me." He slugged down his tea
and walked out the back door slamming it behind him.
"Shoulda warned you about him." Jack apologized.
"Why don't you take Ennis over and show him your new place, Jackie.
I'm sure he'd like to see it." Mrs. Twist said.
They went out, got into Jack's truck and drove off in silence. In
minutes, they pulled into the overgrown place next door. The big old
house sat back in the middle of the place. It had been deserted for
years and looked it. They sat in the truck in silence.
"It's not much right now." Jack said. "A little work...well...a
lot of work, and it can be a right fine place. Sure as hell gonna be
a shame for a body to be livin there all alone."
"I don't know what to say, Jack," he fumbled for words.
"Just say what you came to say. Then we'll say good-bye like always,
and I can go on tearin my guts out knowin, if I'm lucky, I might get
to see you for a coupla days in another 3 or 4 months." He couldn't
keep the bitterness out of his words.
"House don't look all that bad. Can we go in?"
"Why not." Jack sighed and got out.
They walked through the musty old house, some rooms smelling better
than others from the open windows. It was the typical farm house,
just larger than most. Shotgun style, hallway down the middle with
four rooms either side of the hall; upstairs the same.
"Big place." Was all Ennis could think to say as they walked back out
onto the front porch.
"Didn't buy it for the house. Bought it for the land. Some good
grass; the right kind of stock, some hard work and this place will be
up and running."
"You plan on doin all that yourself?"
"Hell no! I was plannin on you and me doin it. But it looks like
that won't be happenin so I'll get myself into town and see if I can
find someone. You ain't the only ranch hand around you know!" He was
still angry.
Ennis walked back and got into the truck. Jack followed, slamming the
truck door beside him.
"So what the hell you doin here, anyway?"
"Don't know." Ennis chewed on his thumbnail.
"We could do this, Ennis; you and me together. Don't you think we
deserve a little happiness after all this time?"
"It ain't never been about that."
"Then what fuck is it all about? Tell me that. I love you! I
thought you loved me. We've got it all now, Ennis. We've got a
place, we've got money to set it up right. Why can't we be together?
Tell me that, so I can understand why I have to be this miserable!"
"I'm scared, Jack." He put his face in his hands.
"Shit, Ennis." He pulled Ennis into his arms. "Everything in life is
a risk. But you can't stop livin cause you're scared."
"You ain't scared? You ain't never given it no thought about bein
beat to death if someone finds out?"
"Yeah, I thought about that. I also thought about wreckin my truck
out on the highway makin all those drives up to see you, but that
didn't stop me. Lots of things scare me but I ain't gonna crawl away
and hide in a hole somewhere. That ain't no kind of life at all. I
want what I want and I'm goin to live my life. I ain't answerin to
nobody no more."
Ennis looked up at him, tears glistening in his eyes.
"And if I go on back to Riverton?"
"Then I'll find someone else." Jack answered, determination clear on
his face.
"You'll find someone else?" Ennis squinted at him; reading more into
that statement than Jack had meant.
"I ain't livin the rest of my life alone, Ennis. I want it to be you.
That's what I've always wanted; but if that ain't gonna happen; I'll
just have to find me someone who's willin to take that risk with me."
"You'd do that?"
"I would."
Ennis straightened up, pulled out a cigarette and lit it; sat staring
out the window.
"I gotta decide right now?"
"You don't gotta do nothin!" Jack said disgusted. He keyed the
ignition and drove back to the Twist driveway. They sat in silence.
"You best be on your way. I gotta lot of work to do." Jack said. He
climbed out of his truck and headed back to the house.
Ennis got out and went to his truck and sat there smoking.
Dinner time came and he was still sitting there.
"Go out and invite him for dinner." Mrs. Twist pushed her son.
"He knows where the door is." Jack answered sitting down at the table.
"Girlfriend mad at you?" the old man said snickering.
Mrs. Twist and her son exchanged looks, but said nothing. They picked
at their food as the old man wolfed his down as usual.
"You queers!" The old man said in disgust, tossing his napkin down
when he finished. He slammed out the kitchen door and strode over to
Ennis truck.
"Get the hell off my property, faggot!" he hollered.
Jack could hear from the doorway and it was like a knife in his heart.
Ennis started up his truck and spewed dirt and stones and he peeled
out of there. He drove to the end of the driveway, spun the truck
around in a cloud of dust and drove back before the old man got back
inside. He came out of his truck and in a few runnig strides made it
to the old man. He grabbed him up by the overalls.
"I'm here and you better get used to it you old piece of shit! Jack
told me all 'bout you; the things you done to him. It ain't happenin
no more!" Jack stepped out the door just then.
"I made my decision. I'm movin in." He said to Jack, then to the old
man, he said, "You got a problem with that? Let's hear it right now,
otherwise you keep your fuckin insults to yourself or I'll shove them
down your fuckin throat!"
The old man pulled loose from his grip and went back into the house;
Mrs. Twist stood by, both hands on her mouth; eyes wide and frightened.
Jack put an arm around her shoulder, kissed her cheek and sent her
back inside.
"You sure about this?" he asked Ennis.
"Absolutely positive. That truck of yours got a hitch on it? My
truck ain't strong enough to pull my trailer."
"Yeah, it's gotta hitch. Had one put on when I bought the thing.
Made sure it would pull a trailer." He smiled that crooked smile of
his, standing there, hands on hips.
"OK, then. I'll spend the night at the old place. We can head back
to Riverton tomorrow. Got lots to see to." They walked back to
Ennis' truck. "Gotta get the place set up for my horses. Get notice
to my boss I'm leavin. Got enough in the bank to pay off my last two
payments to Alma. Where do you wanna start? The house? or the rest
of the place? Gonna take a lot of work."
"Ennis. Ennis! Wait a minute. You can't stay there. Place is a
dump right now. We got rooms up stairs."
"Nope. As long as that old man is alive, that's his house. I ain't
stayin under the same roof with him. I'll be fine at the house."
"OK. On one condition. I stay with you."
"You don't have to do that. You got a nice house here."
"We didn't worry 'bout no house up on the mountain." He reminded him
with a sexy grin. "Listen, I got all my campin stuff in the barn.
Let's grab it, and we got some containers out there we can draw some
water to take over. C'mon!"
They got in Ennis's truck and drove up to the barn. Ennis turned the
truck around and they got out, and loaded up.
"Ain't never camped out inside a house before." Ennis said with a
slight upturn to his mouth.
"It'll be fun; dirty, but fun."
"Hell, I been dirty before."
"And will be again." Jack laughed as he handed him the jugs of fresh
water he was drawing from the spigot.
"Jackie?" the timid little voice called out.
"Yeah, Momma. Everythin alright?"
"Absolutely!" she smiled at him then to Ennis she said, "I knew you'd
be stayin. I just knew it! Here." she thrust a sack to him.
"It's dinner. You were too busy thinkin to eat before, but you gotta
eat." She noticed all the camping gear going into the back of the truck.
"I'll expect the two of you for breakfast! 6:00 sharp now. Don't be
late." She smiled at both of them and hurried back inside.
"She for real?" Ennis asked, peeking into the bag.
"She is. Shoulda warned about her too. She'll be doin her motherly
thing all over you."
"Think I'm gonna like it here." Ennis pulled out a bisquit and bit
into it.
"What's not to like? A place of our own, and home cooked meals right
next door. Course it comes with the old man too."
"I admit, he is worrisome; but you were right. It was time for me
to make a decision. I had to choose whether I wanted to live the rest
of my life with you or without you. When it came right down to it,
the choice was easy."
"Well you sure could have fooled me! Figured you was gonna take to
root there in the driveway!"
"C'mon. Let's go home." Ennis climbed into the truck, chewing on a
drumbstick.
The End
