Furuba Fight!!!
By: Yori Hayashi
Fanfiction of: Fruits Basket
Summary: Yori and Yuki meet Shigure's editor and they decide to help her get revenge! With Kyo and Tohru on their side, they form: Team Vengeance:p Chaos ensues!
Disclaimer:
Yoshe: We don't own Fruits Basket!
Yori: I wish we did, though, 'cause…
Both: We think Kyo is HOT!
Lol.
O.o-YoriandKagra-o.O-O.o-SelinaandPookie-o.O-O.oAyaandZerph-o.O-O.o-YosheandYukio-o.O
Do you like my new scene changer? Those are the couples in my Manga! Yori and Kagra, Selina and Pookie, (I wuv that name. I did it for laughs. That's Kagra's brother) Aya and Zerph, and Yoshe and Yukio. Plus, O.o… Yay!
Chapter One- War Declaration
During winter vacation, the twins Yori and Yuki visited the Sohma house often. They both knew about the ancient curse that was put on the family, but just like Tohru, they had promised to keep it a secret. And besides, Yoshe had given Hatori a very frightening threat the night he said that her hikari's memories might have to be erased. Akito, though very angry bout the curse getting out once again, decided to trust them, if only for a little while.
They were headed to the Sohma house, and when they got there, they saw a sobbing lady on the porch.
"Shigure!" She screamed at the top of her lungs. Yori and Yuki had to cover their ears at the loud noise. "Shi-san, please don't do this to me! Open this door!"
Yuki led the way up to the lady. "Excuse me…" She muttered, trying to get the lady's attention. Her efforts failed, however, as the lady was now drowning in a pool of despair.
"Shiguuuureeee!"
"Hey, your Shigure's editor, Mitchan!" Yori said, sounding very proud of herself. "I'd recognize that loud howl anywhere. Shigure plays it on his tape recorder all the time. He must love hearing it. Ah, I'm so smart. Ahahaha."
Yuki hit the taller sibling on the head. "Baka." Bending down to be eye-level with the crying woman, she said, "Are you alright? Why are you crying? Is Shigure procrastinating again? He never wants to turn that manuscript in to you, does he?"
"Ye-e-es!" She wailed. "That's exactly my problem! He'll get me firrrrred! Waaaaaaa!!" the gasping lady banged and scratched on the door as if her life depended on it. "Sensei! Let me in, please! Don't lock me out! Why!?"
"…I'd just let myself get fired, rather than put myself through this mess." Yori said. "I mean, it's doing you no good at all." She put her hands on her hips. "Well, if you be quiet for just a moment, we can try and trick them into letting you in. He won't keep us out. By the way, what all has this evil man done to you?"
"Well…" They listened to her long line of complaints. When she was done, almost half an hour later, the twins were in tears, too.
"How… sad… rude… cruel…"
"Yes, cruelty at it's worst!" Yori cried into her arm. "We'll do whatever we can, Mitsuru-san! You can count on us to help you!"
"Domo arigoto gozaimas. I am at your mercy, Yori-chan and Yuki-chan!" she bowed deeply to show her respect.
"Ah, don't think on it!"
The door slammed open, and the three girls jumped at the loud bang. "Wha-"
Kyo stood in the doorway, glaring at them. (Yoshe: -Drools- Yori: Uh…) "Will you three shut up!? I'm trying to sleep in here! Have you not realized how tired I get when it rains?"
The editor looked up at him in a bewildered fashion, "Huh?"
"Ah!" Kyo had only just noticed who the third person was. "I- uh- you see- Well…" He tried to think up a lie. "A few years ago… I… was asleep… yeah. And Shigure was practicing these weird curse thingies… and yeah… So… now I get real tired when it rains. And so the story goes…"
"Eh?"
"Obviously, his energy is lost along with his brainpower." Yuki said.
"Whadda lie." Yori said. "You're just trying to make it sound more exciting. It really goes like this… When he was born, a zodiac curse was put on him. When he gets hugged by a girl that is not part of the zodiac, he turns into the cat! And, when it rains, he gets tired just like a cat." Yori looked at Kyo, who looked like his head was going to explode.
"You…"
"Yori…" Yuki muttered. "That wasn't a good idea… you're memory might have to be erased… and Mitchan's! Mine, too!" she tried to speak as quietly as possible, hoping Mitsuru didn't believe her sister.
"That was a terrible lie, Yori-san…" Mitsuru said.
"Phew…" Everyone but Yori (who was laughing hysterically) let out a sigh of relief. Kyo sent Yori a threatening look, but she didn't stop laughing.
Tohru came out a few moments later. "Hello, everyone! How are- Ack!" She was cut off when Yuki bombarded her, scaring her half to death.
"Tohru-kun, I am so glad that you're here! You must help us defeat the evil dictator, Shigure Hitler!" She declared.
"That's not something to joke about…" Kyo and Yori said, shaking their heads in disgust. (A/N: Yori recovers quickly, doesn't she?)
Yuki ignored them. "Join us, Tohru-Kun! Join Team Vengeance on our quest to defeat Shigure!"
"T-Team Vengeance?"
"Idiots."
"B-but… Yuki-chan… What have I to be vengeful about? Shii-san has been wonderful to me!" (A/N: Of course, SHE would say that!)
Yori stepped in to help. "He's a perv! Be vengeful about his pervertynesses!"
"Dah-"
"I don't care whether or not that's a word!" Yori shook the frightened girl. "You can't turn us down, Tohru! We need you; look at his poor editor!" Yori and her short-haired sister fell to their knees to add dramatic effect as Tohru looked over to the editor.
"Well, alright. What could it hurt…? I'll help you, Yori-chan!"
"Yahoo!" Yuki yelled. "You can be in charge of our nutrition. Warriors must eat, you know." She turned back to Kyo-kun, who was now totally zonked out. "KYYYOOOO-KUUUUUUUN!!! Wake up! WAKEY-UPPY!"
"Mrow!"
"Haha! He meowed!"
"Yuki…"
"Kyo-Kun…"
"Augh! Stupid women!!" Kyo bellowed. "I hate you all!"
"K-Kyo-kun…" Tohru said quietly. She reached out for his arm. "Hey…"
"What!?" He bellowed again. Tohru looked hurt, so he tried to take back his screaming. "Wait, Tohru, I'm sorry! I-I didn't mean to yell! Aw, no! Don't cryyyy! No! Stop crying! I didn't mean it!"
She sniffed. "I'm so sorry. I d-didn't mean to make you angry K-kyo-kun… I just wanted you to calm down…"
"Tohru!"
"Kyo, you meanie!" Yori yelled into his ear. "You now owe us. Mainly Tohru… Heh…" She struck a pose. "Join our team pussy-cat! You'll get to fight, and we could really use you on our team! So, whatcha think?"
Kyo rolled his eyes and yawned. "I'm thinking there's no way in Pete's name that I'd join your stupid payback squad! You can just for get it."
"Aw, Kyo-kun, please do it… We need you…" Tohru begged. "Please?" She gave him the best puppy-dog-pout she could muster.
He caved in. "I- I… Uh… Ugh… Fine... just let me get some sleep. If I don't get any, you can just forget about it, okay!?"
"Okay!" The three girls said as he walked back into the house. "Alright." Yori said. "How about this, Mitsuru! You can head home. This may take a while… We'll call you once we get the manuscript. After this, he won't bother you again- hopefully… But, I'm no psychic, so there's no guarantee. But, it's better than not trying at all, isn't it?" she smiled and waited for the answer she wanted out of Mitchan.
That's exactly what she got. "I thank you…"
O.o-YoriandKagra-o.O-O.o-SelinaandPookie-o.O-O.oAyaandZerph-o.O-O.o-YosheandYukio-o.O
"Shii-san!" Yori and Yuki bounded angrily into the livingroom, where Shigure and Yuki were reading. Tohru followed in close behind, unsure of what to do. "Dummy!" Yori added.
"You jerk!" Yuki said. They both grabbed his ears and pulled as hard as they could. He completely ignored the pain, however. He closed his happy eyes and smiled.
He sang, "High-school girls, High-school girls, one-two-three, high-school girls!" His eyes stayed closed as he hummed the rest of the song, knowing that they would kill him if he sang it out loud. The black haired novelist was feeling annoyingly giddy.
Yori grimaced at the idiotic dog. "Shigure, I don't think that you totally understand…"
"Shii-san!"
"We declare war on you!" Yori declared with a clenched fist. "And we will not lose! Isn't that right, Tohru-kun?"
"Right!" She did the best that she could to pull off a straight face. She wasn't very successful, though. She just looked so stupid like that.
Yuki popped his head out of the book he was reading. "Honda-san is on your team, Yori-Kun? Who else is on your team? Is it that stupid cat?" He thought over what he just said. "No, that was stupid. He'd never want to play a war game. He'd feel much too pathetic when he got beat."
"Actually, Kyo-kun did join our team! We're really happy! He's great at combat." Tohru said, with that big grin on her face. "I can't wait to start!"
"Really now…?"
Shigure gave a pouty face. "Four against one…? That's really not fair… I don't understand what I did to anyone! I'm the most innocent person on this Earth!"
(Anime fall moment)
"Yeah, right! Everything, that's what you did!" Yuki Hayashi snapped. "You did every stinking thing to make your editors life miserable! And we're kind of bored, now that I think about it…"
(Three more anime falls)
"Still, four against one. That's so rude, and unfair. What am I to do!? I'm just a simple novelist, against four angry, (Hyper rabbit: more like three) hormone-driven teenagers!" (Hyper rabbit: once again… Tohru? Hormone-driven and angry?)
"All is not fair in love and war." Yori answered.
"You know, I think I'll help you, Shigure." All heads turned towards Yuki Sohma. "If that stupid cat is on their team, it'll just be another way for me to beat him in battle. You might as well have some brains on your team." He gave his best smile.
Shigure smiled. (A/N: You know, that smile that looks really idiotic, when he knows he's tricked someone, and made their lives miserable?) "Why, Yuki-kun, I'm so glad to have you on my team! It'll be so easy now!" The snaky novelist turned towards Tohru. "Would you like to switch over to my team, so that we have an even amount of players? It's only fair!"
"Uh…" Tohru hated being put under that kind of pressure. She didn't know what to say.
"No, Shii-san!" Yori answered for her. "You see, our team has something to represent. (Hyper rabbit: Except Kyo! He only joined because of Tohru!) We are here to avenge your editor! We can't switch teams on a whim."
Tohru felt much better. "She's right… I feel very sorry for your editor… I couldn't possibly change teams…" she sighed, "I'm sorry, Shigure…"
Yori was getting annoyed. "Don't apologize, you nimrod! He's the enemy! Don't apologize to the enemy for being his enemy! What kind of soldier are you!?" she screamed. She whispered to Yuki, "As much as I hate to say this about Tohru, we may have a double-teamer on our hands. She wouldn't want to let Shigure down… she's too nice for that… but she's no liar…" Yori and Yuki nodded to each other and Kyo, who had woken up, once again from all the noise (and it had stopped raining), interrupted from behind them.
He said, "I doubt what you all are saying." Yori and Yuki gasped out of surprise. He ignored them, and kept speaking, "Like you all said, she's honest. She won't let us down in that respect. We just need to keep an eye on the enemy… Shigure could get to her if we aren't careful… That girl is so ditzy she'd go out with a dog and not notice what it is."
"That's mean." Yuki huffed.
"Well, maybe so," Kyo answered. "but it is true."
"Oh, and Kyo, I'll have you know that Yuki has joined Shigure's team…" Yori said. She raised her voice so that everyone else could hear her, as Kyo got many strange idea's. "Shigure, you need to come up with a team name. So, what is it gonna be?"
Shigure thought it over for a moment while Yuki Sohma watched him with an anxious and worried look. Yuki didn't want him to come up with something stupid, but he also knew that there was no way around it. Shigure was Shigure, and that would never change.
"I know; Yuki and I will, from now on and forever more, be known as… Team Pervy!" Shigure laughed of excitement. "I love the name!"
Everyone else, especially Yuki Sohma, who now had to go by that idiotic name, was having other thoughts, but it was the same going around. 'Team…Pervy?'
While Shigure continued laughing, Yuki said, "Fine. I'll go with that stupid name. But, just so you know, there are some conditions to this agreement."
Everyone gave him a look of confusion (well, actually, Kyo was over in a corner laughing murderously, and Tohru was trying to calm him down).
"The condition is that, if we lose, I'm going to beat you until you turn into a dog, and then I will skin you alive," he said in his soft voice. "Then, I will cook the skin and force what's left of you to eat it. So," he closed his eyes, "If you would prefer not to have your insides sticking out, I suggest that you come up with a fair game plan."
Shigure was too scared and shocked to say anything. He could only give a large gulp of fear at Yuki's expression. The Hayashi twins were laughing wildly at the scene (and Kyo and Tohru were still in the corner).
Kyo got out of his laughing state. "We need to go eat you all. If we're going to beat that rat-boy, we need to be in top shape! There's no way I'm going to let HIM win this battle!" Kyo bounded into the kitchen and started preparing meals. He was muttering evil things about his cousin, and taking his frustrations out on the onigiri taht he was making.
"Kyo-kun has strong feelings for Yuki-kun..." Yori said. "It's so terribly obvious. Don't you two agree?"
Tohru started freaking out, much to Yori's displeasure. "What!? Feelings for Yuki-Kun!? Yori-chan, what do you mean by that!? He couldn't possibly be-"
Yori stopped her babbling. "I mean feelings of hatred, of course. Get your ditzy mind out of the gutter, Tohru-chan."
Tohru calmed down just a little. They heard yelling coming from the kitchen. "Will you all hurry up and get in here!? I'm hungry, and I'm not making all this by myself!"
The three girls laughed. "Gomenasai, Kyo-kun!" they all shouted.
There was no stopping now. A huge battle of the Sohma's (and the Hayashi twins) was about to start!
O.o-YoriandKagra-o.O-O.o-SelinaandPookie-o.O-O.oAyaandZerph-o.O-O.o-YosheandYukio-o.O
Yori: Ooh, things are gonna get good! I can feel my spine tingling with excitement! I can't wait 'til the next chapter!
Hyper rabbit: (Hit's Yoshe on the head with a bat (the flying kind) for no apparent reason) This is gonna be stupid! That's what I think!
Yoshe: (attacks the rabbit and almost kills him to death. Lol.) What was that for you mangy, wild animal, you?! I was busy drooling over a picture of Kyo!
Yori: (staring at Hyper Rabbit) Where in the world did that thing come from?
Hyper Rabbit: Either I or Shigure would have had to do it. You were ruining his new floors.
Yori: (pulls out screen as Yoshe starts screaming wildly) This scene is blocked due to excessive gore. Hey, instead of listening to us babble, here is a rambling that I wrote the other night!
And the randomness begins…
Tohru: Something smells kind of fishy…
Yuki: It smells like the stupid cat.
Kyo: What was that!? Why don't you say that to my face, you stupid girly-boy!?
Yori: I'm going to kill you all! Ahahahahahahaa!!
Shigure: Don't get any blood on my floor…
Tohru: (Holding a pan) B-But! I'm not done with the dishes yet! Can't you wait, Yori-kun?
Yori: Death waits for no one, Honda!
Shigure: I'm begging you; please don't get blood on my floor! The Main House isn't going to pay for repairs anymore…
(Yoshe switches with Yori)
Yoshe: No! I won't let you kill my Kyon-kun! He's too cute to die! (glomps Kyo)
Yuki: This is dumb. I'm leaving.
Yoshe: (starts drooling) I… love… KYO!
Shigure: No, my floooor!!! (falls on hands and knees)
Tohru: I like cleaning, don't get me wrong… but…
Shigure: (drowning in drool) My floor!
Yoshe: My MAN!
Kyo: My dignity! (struggles to get out of Yoshe's headlock, but fails miserably)
Yoshe: Stop struggling! (takes Tohru's pan and hits Kyo in the head, knocking him out) Haha! Now whatcha gonna do!? You're all MINE, Kitty-boy!
Tohru: My BOYFREIND!
Shigure: (is crying from the bloodstains on the floor) …my house…
Yoshe: (pauses) What was that, you said, Tohru? Did you just call Kyo your… Boyfriend?
Tohru: (nods nervously, knowing that she is now dead meat)
Yoshe: (glares at Tohru and chases her all the way to the moon) Get back here, you kitty-stealer!
Kyo: (wakes up) My head…
End the randomness, PLEASE! I beg of you!
Yori, Yoshe and Hyper Rabbit: R and R!
Yoshe: (glares at Hyper Rabbit) Now, where was I…
Yori: Have a nice day! (sweatdrop)
