A/N: OKAY YOU KNOW WHAT, RYAN MURPHY, THIS IS FOR YOU. I cannot physically find it within myself to hate Jesse. I can't even not like him. EVEN THOUGH HE THREW BABY CHICKEN FETUSES ON RACHEL D: However, this is my first (and probably only) future!fic. The first chapter is until graduation, and then chapter two is graduation and onwards. I had to do SOMETHING with all the anger and pain inside of me. Personally, I will always love St. Berry.

The title is stolen from The Cab, and is probably my favorite romantic song, evar.

'vegas skies'

"I chose and my world was shaken. So what? The choice may have been mistaken; the choosing was not. You have to move on."
~ Stephen Sondheim

2010.

Rachel.

When she thinks back on the craziest year of her life, it has to be her sophomore year of high school. That's when everything changed for her, some good, and some bad. She had met friends that she would keep for life and discovered things about herself that she would have never seen without the glee club.

There were boys, oh god were there boys. Finn Hudson was her first true love, her first kiss, and the first boy she ever let her guard down around. He wasn't always perfect and he had more flaws than the multiplication tables could show, but she loved him for all that. Actually, if it wasn't for Finn, her entire high school existence would have been completely different. Finn, however, didn't really notice her for most of that year, and it broke her heart.

Of course there had been that train wreck of a week in November that she went temporarily insane and decided Noah Puckerman of all people was the one for her. That boy she didn't really mind losing so much, in fact, she didn't mind losing him at all.

Then there was Jesse. Jesse really didn't need an introduction, he was just Jesse. He was incredibly talented and equally beautiful, but he was just like Rachel and he never, ever let anything get in the way of his dreams. That's where he lost and that was where she lost too. She didn't like thinking about Jesse, even though he would always be the biggest thing she would remember for that year. She hated him and she admired him at the same time. She was fascinated with him.

She was used to the typical heart break that she usually suffered from at Finn's hands, but with Jesse it was something completely different. It was pain beyond anything she had ever felt before, and it was hard to pull herself back together. She was Rachel Berry and she would not let some high school crush get in her way. So she kissed Finn, and while it wasn't some magical moment, it was nice, which was all she thought she needed.

She was mistaken though, Jesse wasn't just some high school crush. She loved him and she knew that, which made it all the worse to see his face fall at Regionals after Coach Sylvester had said New Directions would be traveling to Nationals. She knew he was going to talk to her, but when Quinn went into labor, she rushed out of the crowded hall and to the hospital with the rest of her team, swearing that she didn't care about Jesse St. James.

The rest of sophomore year went the same way, glee club was thriving and she was dating Finn Hudson, for real this time, not just some spur of the moment, bi polar relationship they seemed to have always had in the past. Things were nice, stable. Finn was always a gentlemen and never would do anything to hurt her.

She didn't really feel anything anymore, though. Not after the crushing blow Jesse had dealt her, now everything was different. She tried to ignore it. Ignore the feeling of discomfort and pain that came with the truth. She was still so in love with Jesse St. James that it physically hurt her most days.

He was a senior and she knew he'd be going to UCLA whether he had Nationals under his belt or not. She wasn't sure if she was happy or sad that he'd be on the other side of the country. Maybe the longing to drive the extra fifty miles to see him would go away, or the nagging pain that refused to let her delete him from her speed dial would go away. She just wanted to be rid of him, once and for all.

However, she still ended up at Carmel High School's graduation, in the back row, her head bowed. His name was called and it was the first time she had seen him since Regionals. He looked the same, same dark hair, same beautiful mega watt smile. He was the same Jesse that she had fallen in love with and as he crossed the stage she knew he saw her. The electric current in the pit of her stomach told her to stay, but her head told her it was time to let go of him.

That summer passed in a blur of heat, vocal lessons, dancing, time in Finn's room and hanging with the glee kids. After the past school year, all of New Directions had banded together and they had even included her. It seemed like they were bonded to each other now. Quinn was different after the birth of her child, much more down to earth. She even invited Rachel over to hang out with her and Mercedes quite often.

It was the first time she can remember having real friends, and it was a wonderful and amazing feeling, but she also felt like she was missing her first real best friend. A boy that was just like her, that she could talk to about Idina Menzel and shows like The Secret Garden. A boy that was two thousand miles away. A boy that didn't matter anymore.

Jesse.

Senior year was probably the most painful year of his life. His last year in high school seemed to simply drag on forever. It was all he could do to refrain from running away to LA as soon as the semester that would change his entire life began. He was used to being a star and that was all he ever thought he'd need, but when Shelby approached him with an idea, his world would be redefined.

It wasn't really a big secret that he wasn't really into the relationship scene. Actually, he can't remember one girl he dated in high school. Most people assumed he was gay, so he'd slept with the female lead of Vocal Adrenaline, Anna, to prove that he could get chicks, he just didn't need time for them. That was a dumb move.

Girls had always found him reasonably attractive, but now they seemed to all want him. Anna was the worst, and he just needed some way to get out of it all. They were all so fake, with their fake tans and Miley Cyrus CDs; he hated it. He hated them. He hated that high school made him suffer through that hell everyday.

Then he had met her; Rachel Berry. If anyone was destined to be a star, it was that girl. Her voice could bring chills up his spine, and after watching her at Sectionals he knew. He knew that she was powerful and wonderful, and she was Shelby's. She had to be. With a voice like that, who else could be her mom? When he knew what he had to do, it kind of irritated him that it was that girl who would get hurt.

Of course, the words "UCLA scholarship" helped speed his decision right along. She was just a girl, and that was all. He wouldn't get attached and then in a few months he'd be off to his dream school, forgetting about Rachel Berry. How very wrong he was.

Rachel turned out to be a lot of things when he got to know her. She was intense, sometimes scary, and amazingly talented. However, she was also tender and really very beautiful once you could see past the crazy. She was always smiling and talking, but he liked that about her. He liked that she didn't cover her personality to be someone everyone could like.

He liked that she could sing every song from Chicago, and would give up her entire stack of autographed posters to go back in time and work with Gene Kelly. He liked that she didn't wear jeans and never got up later than six a.m. Most of all, he just liked learning everything he could about her. She was addicting.

At one point it almost felt like they could be a normal, happy couple. He forgot for a while the task assigned to him. It was so easy to just be Jesse with her, not show face Jesse St. James. He hadn't been able to be Jesse in a long time, and he hated the idea of ever having to give that up. Every time he kissed her, he could feel a tinge of regret in his stomach.

He knew that once he stepped out of the picture he would be gone forever and Finn Hudson would step in and take the girl that he didn't deserve but had always wanted him. He hated that Finn would get to spend time with Rachel, and not know who Andrew Lloyd Weber was. He hated himself most for allowing that to happen.

When he left New Directions for the first time it had been out of anger at Rachel, because no matter what he said, he did have feelings for her. He wanted her to always have feelings for him, and as she sang Total Eclipse of the Heart to him, he almost told her everything in a desperate attempt to convince her to run away with him, but he didn't. He just couldn't.

The only time he can ever remember being truly angry at Shelby was when she walked away from Rachel's life. It was like their entire relationship was for nothing. She was going to be heart broken all over again, just for no reason. He knew that she was still broken from Finn and Quinn and ten years in the hell hole of school with them, and he knew that this could be the final blow for her.

When he broke the egg over her face he wasn't lying when he told her he had loved her. He had loved her fiercely, and he had missed her every single day he was away from her. However, as he looked down at her he did not see hate, or anger, or even fear. He saw defiance and perhaps even a little pity. Her tears were not for her, but him. He hated that look, and he hated that on the way home he shed a few tears of his own.

He had hoped that would be the last time he would ever have to think of Rachel Berry, but it wasn't. He thought of her every day. Then Regionals came and he didn't want to see her, because the love he still felt for her might betray him. However, that love filled him with a faint happiness when he lost to her and Finn. She deserved the best, and she definitely deserved to win. He would still go to UCLA and he would still be without her.

The rest of the year wasn't really all that important to him. He was back to just wanting to get the hell out of there, and graduation couldn't come sooner. It was a whirlwind of black caps and blue tassels leading up to the big day when he would no longer be tied to Ohio anymore. That little voice inside of his head told him he was wrong, he would always be tied to Ohio. She was there, and as long as she remained there he would have unfinished business in Ohio.

Then he saw her, from the stage, diploma finally clasped in his hand. She was sitting in the back of the room, wearing her favorite dress, her hair falling over her shoulders. She was smiling her beautiful Rachel smile, looking right at him, and he felt his heart break a little more. Before he could make his way to her she was gone, and he felt like the only girl that would ever be right for him had finally walked out of his life.

2011.

Rachel.

Junior year was different than sophomore year. No longer did the kids of McKinley High's glee club have slushies thrown in their faces or deal with ridicule for their passion of music. They weren't cool kids, but they weren't at the bottom of the totem pole anymore. In fact, it was Rachel's first year of having someone to eat lunch with and people to hang out with on the weekends, barring those short months of her sophomore year.

Her relationship with Finn was ever the same, but she felt restless, like there was something that she needed that Finn wasn't giving her. She refused to give into this suspicion, because it would mean terrible things would happen. Admitting her feelings to herself would mess everything up, the entire balance she had with her life now.

That New Years she slept with Finn. He was her first kiss, so why not the boy to take her virginity, too? Honestly, she didn't find sex to be such a huge deal anymore. It was nice, it was normal. It didn't cause fireworks or anything to occur within her, but it didn't feel wrong either, and Finn seemed happy. It was easy for him, but it was a constant struggle for her.

She was always studying him, picking out things that Finn did that she didn't like, and Jesse would have never done. No matter what, some how the blue eyed boy of a year before kept haunting her, and it was starting to drive her legitimately insane.

Nationals were grueling, and they spent months trying to build the perfect routine to rival whoever they might face. With new additions to the club, it was proving to be strong. Kurt seemed to finally have moved on past Finn and on with his new boyfriend, Alex. On top of that Mercedes had also found love in a guy besides Puck, and Jaylan could sing to rival his girlfriend. The last girl was the one that seemed to be destined to ruin Rachel's life.

Talon was small, blonde, and could hit notes that could only be compared with Rachel's vocal ability. However, it was no secret that the blonde would give any thing to beat Rachel, both in glee and as Finn's girlfriend. The afternoon that Rachel caught Finn staring at the new member she decided it was time to end it.

She said that it was because their hearts weren't in it anymore, but her's had never been in it to begin with. It came as a great surprise to everyone in glee that the power couple had broken up, but more so that she seemed very unaffected by Finn's quick rebound to Talon. However, all Rachel felt was a large weight being lifted off her chest.

The alone time proved to be not in her best interests. It left her too much time to think about Jesse and everything that she had repressed for so long came surging out like a damn that had just been broken by the sea. She was suffocated by her own loneliness, and it got so bad one night that she broke down and hit his number on her speed dial only to find out that he had changed his number. She wasn't sure if she was more happy or sad about that.

It had been so long that certain parts of him were starting to fade from her memory. She couldn't remember his favorite number or cat's name, but she remembered his voice and the way it sounded with her own. She could still smell the cologne he wore, even when she was supposed to hate him, but she just couldn't.

They lost Nationals, which didn't really surprise her. The club was changing so much from the original vision of misfits banding together to form a friendship that couldn't be shaken. Now it was like they were all turning into Vocal Adrenaline and forgetting about the music that had once been the only thing that they could claim.

When that year ended, Rachel couldn't say she wasn't excited for graduation. She had been offered several scholarships; OSU, NYU, even Brown had extended a letter asking her to apply. However, none of the schools felt right to her, nothing really felt right to her. It was all Jesse St. James' fault, although he was probably having the time of his life on the other side of the country, while she ached with the grief of missing him everyday.

Jesse.

Jesse's first year in college was like a crazy, acid filled dream. California was all he could hope for. It was warm, beautiful, and filled with everything that anyone could ever want. It was like a dream come true to drive into his new life, but wishing that he could let go of his old life someday. He pushed the brunette girl to the back of his mind and he walked into the doors to his new dorm.

College was a different world than his life in Ohio. He made friends who knew every musical that had ever been on Broadway. He finally had a challenge for his talent for the first time, because he refused to think about the first person to ever challenge his talent anymore. It was just too painful for him to think about anymore.

It didn't take long for him to make his mark on the college. He wasn't wildly talented for no reason at all. After one try out he had landed the role of Curly in Oklahoma! He tried to tell himself the same story he had told his parents, his friends, and anyone who asked; he just loved the musical, that was what had compelled him to try out.

Truthfully, as soon as he saw the flyer he made up his mind that he would do it because it was a connection to her. The only remaining connection that he had to her, and it was probably pathetic but he needed that connection. He needed to pretend that she would know somehow and come sit front row, no matter how ludicrous it sounded.

Every night he went on that stage and performed Laurey's dream ballet sequence with Curly, all he could see was Rachel Berry and all of her gold stars and bright dreams. Each time it caused him pain because he knew that someone that amazing didn't deserve any of what he had done. Each time he danced on that stage he remembered how much he loved her with a fresh amount of pain, as if he were ripping open a new wound every night.

He missed her more than he admitted to anyone. That was why he never went out with any of the girls that offered themselves up to him. He had no time or care for their affections, as there had only been one girl who had ever truly caught his eye and made him desire a relationship. That girl was far away now, too busy hating him to actually want him.

He had heard through his old connections at Carmel High that they had lost Nationals. It was puzzling matter as to why she would allow them to lose. From what he had gathered she had also broken up with Finn, which was a topic of high gossip. She was unaffected and he tried to crush the hope that maybe, just maybe, she still thought of him.

On the night of his final performance of Oklahoma!, he tried to get rid of the disappointment at the fact that she had not come to one of his shows. It was crazy to think she would, she lived in Ohio, but he still had hoped that she would be there. It was summer again, though, and he was headed back to Ohio again.

He only caught one glimpse of her all summer. She was reading on a park bench, her eyes focused on her book, a soft hum falling from between her lips. She looked different, her hair was shorter and she seemed to had lost some weight. She was still beautiful, and it was almost painful for him to look at her now. She would be a senior this year and the thought of her leaving Ohio, where he could never see her again was too painful to contemplate.

As he watched her all he could see was egg dripping down her face and a look of pain he never knew anyone could show. He hated himself more than she could ever hate him, so he needed to leave, he needed to forget, he just didn't know how to anymore.

2012.

Rachel.

Senior year came in a blur. It was finally the end of her suffering in Lima, Ohio. She was ready to be a star and break out of that town that held so many horrible memories. Memories of slushies, stained shirts and egg running down her face. Memories of a boy that she had tried to forget, a boy that she hoped she could outrun by moving away.

By her senior year Jesse St. James had become a distant memory for New Directions, just another obstacle in their way to fame. However, Rachel felt like the memory Jesse was as fresh as it had been the night she washed egg out of her perfectly styled hair. She hated that he just wouldn't go away, it wasn't fair.

Only one shocking thing had happened senior year and that had been Santana and Brittany running off to Massachusetts to tie the knot. Apparently that didn't mean they couldn't sleep with other men, it just meant they were together for good. Everyone had congratulated them after a good ten minutes of shocked silence.

Everyone in glee had changed so much from when they first walked, (and rolled), in the door to the first auditions. Quinn was much kinder now; Mercedes wasn't always so angry; Kurt finally felt comfortable with who he was; Finn had finally discovered who he really was; Artie was no longer affected by his wheel chair; and Tina wasn't afraid to voice her opinion anymore.

The four years of high school had transformed everyone and now they were going to set off into the world, because after the pain and ridicule that had made them stronger because of glee, they could face anything with no fears and no regrets.

Kurt was going to NYU to study fashion, while Mercedes would be there to study accounting. Santana had gotten accepted at Brown and was studying pre-law. Puck and Finn would both head to OSU on basketball scholarships, while Matt and Mike had been accepted to Berkley for dancing. Brittany had already been recruited into a back up dancing crew for Beyonce, and Tina would be heading off to Duke with Artie to study medicine. Rachel didn't really know where she was going until she received a letter in the mail that changed her entire life.

The logo for UCLA was burnt into her memory, as it had been on everything Jesse owned. The letter was telling her they had seen her at Nationals and would give her a full ride. As she read the letter she knew that was where she belonged. The decision to go there had been made before she even closed the mailbox. It was far away from Ohio, and it was where he was. She thought it was pathetic, but she needed to be close to him somehow, and if this was it, she'd take it.

She was made valedictorian to the surprise of no one. That meant she'd be giving the speech, and for once she had no idea what to say. Those people had tortured her for four years, so what was she to say to them?

The day of graduation began bright and early, it was warm and muggy in June. She was there a good hour early, as she had to get ready to give her speech. Before she could really know what was happening everyone was seated and she could see her fathers waving to her, then she was on stage.

"High school is time of great change, of learning, and of becoming who we are destined to be. Soon we will set out into this huge and exciting world, and as we do we will fall into the molds of who we're going to be which we have been shaping over the past four years. We have worked so hard to get to this moment. Some of us will leave with regrets, and some will leave with second chances. We have all seen the light and dark of the world, and even though our chapter has closed here, we will never truly be forgotten. Because, we will remember us, as we are right now. Those of us who have wanted, hesitated, and been unsure, now is our moment. All the things we've held back from, we must not be scared to accept those challenges and face those fears." She said quickly, her voice not faltering once. It was almost as if she were acting this out.

"I would like to say lastly, that from this moment forward, we are stepping into our futures. This is the day we slaved for, dreamt of, and yet never thought would arrive. Well, seniors of '12, we made it. We're free. It has been an honor to travel through this journey with every single one of you." As she closed her statement she could hear her fellow glee clubbers cheer for her while she moved out of the way for the graduates to receive their diplomas. As she walked off stage she saw a flash of black in the bleachers and before she could believe what she was seeing, Jesse St. James was standing.

She wouldn't let him get away though, she couldn't let him leave without speaking to him, just once. He knew she was coming, but he did not move. He stood looking at her, and it was almost like he had been waiting on this moment since they had last met.

"What.. Why are you here?" She asked, while she drank in every feature of his beautiful face. He was older, and tanner, it seemed that California had done that to him.

He cocked an eyebrow as he looked at her, just like old times when he was amused by her, and she suddenly lost the ability to breathe as she looked back at him. He then smiled at her and it was a beautiful sight to see, even though it made her heart ache.

"You came to my graduation, I thought it only fair to be at yours." His voice was just as magical as it had always been, and she could do nothing but stare at him as he smiled at her.

"What are your plans now?" He asked softly, and there was a clear pain in his voice that she couldn't understand.

"I'm leaving Ohio. I'm leaving my memories behind." She said softly, her voice breaking as the hurt of seeing him again crashed down upon her. All she could do was turn from him and walk away, tears falling onto her gown, leaving Jesse St. James behind her.

Jesse.

College went smoothly his sophomore year, in fact he had already had several calls from agents who had seen his performance in Oklahoma! He just didn't want to ditch college to chase after something that might not be worth it, so he stayed in school.

When the end of his sophomore year in college came he knew what she was doing. She was graduating, and she would be moving off to another school, somewhere he couldn't ever find her again, not that he even deserved to find her again. He wished he could find out where she was going.

That was how he ended up driving across the country to Lima, Ohio, a place that haunted him for over two years. Yes he was going back to her for the first time in two years. However, she had been at his graduation, and he decided he owed her the favor of being there for her. It was like an unspoken bond that they do this for each other.

He arrived just on time, he heard her introduced as Rachel Barbra Berry, a show name if he had ever heard one. She didn't seem nervous, although he couldn't really think of time that she had ever been truly nervous. Perhaps before they had almost had sex. The thought of her having sex brought a wave of unfriendly thoughts to his mind and he couldn't bring himself to think about anyone else touching her.

Then she opened her mouth and began to speak and it was like someone had woken him up for the first time. The passion and the pain in her voice was raw and real as he watched her speak to her fellow classmates. Everything that she spoke was the truth. She was elegant and beautiful from where he could see her.

Then she was off the stage, diploma in her hand, a bright smile lining her tan face. That was when her eyes flashed to him and he knew that he had been spotted. Her eyes didn't leave his as she approached him, and he was reminded vividly of that day two years ago that she had run at him with such trust in her eyes. Her face held no happiness or sadness, it was blank. When she reached him she took him in for a moment.

"What.. Why are you here?" Her voice was strong as she looked at him, and he smiled at her curiousness. She had not stormed away from him, so that was something.

"You came to my graduation, I thought it only fair to be at yours." He said quietly, because it was the honest truth of the moment. When she didn't respond he knew it was now or never.

"What are your plans now?" He asked a little desperately, and she just looked at him for a moment. Then he saw something in her face change, a spasm of pain ran across her features.

"I'm leaving Ohio. I'm leaving my memories behind." She said in a broken, small voice as she looked at him once more before turning away from him and walking away.

It was pain, so much pain, but she was smart to walk away from him. He had done nothing but hurt her for so long that he could not blame her for wanting to rid herself of him. He, too, turned and walked away from where he was standing, wondering if that would be the last time he ever saw Rachel Berry, and silently praying it wouldn't be.