Crossed the Line

a Beetlejuice fanfiction

One: Big Trouble in the Little Neitherworld...

Lydia Deetz was a strange and unusual sixteen-year-old girl.

Trailed closely by a ghastly, mouldering figure in a striped suit, she slammed the door to her room, thankful that her companion had gotten them out of yet another jam... and, as usual, one he had personally caused. "I swear, babes, that wasn't my fault!" her frightening friend explained, eyes wide with his typical fear that, yet again, he would get caught in another scam gone wrong.

"For once, I believe you, Beej!" Lydia breathlessly replied. "You've pulled a lot of corny practical jokes in your time, but these were just..."

"Not my style?" Beetlejuice, the self-proclaimed "Ghost With the Most", returned. "My scent-iments exactly!" he continued, as a stink-bomb went off on the other side of his breathing buddy's door. "Scuzzo's behind this, I just NOSE it!"

As if on cue, Beetlejuice's nose leapt from his face and grabbed Lydia's best camera. Before either of the pair could catch it, the nose ran through a tiny door that had suddenly materialized in her own. Within seconds, several flashes could be seen penetrating the cracks in the door, and the clown-corpse could be heard fumbling, stumbling, and shouting curses that would make a sailor blush. The nose ran back in, somehow accompanied by one of Beetlejuice's own eyes: he had been careful to close the eyelids over his empty socket, in spite of how strong Lydia's stomach was. "What can I tell ya, Lyds?" he asked, bragging yet again. "My NOSE has an EYE for photography!"

Lydia giggled, taking the camera from Beetlejuice's nose; her giggle followed by a wrinkled nose of her own, as she realized she'd smashed her own hand into the snot that covered her device. "Maybe, but he's also really good at RUNNING," she replied cleverly. "I'll take this to my dark-room and start developing the film... I have a feeling you'll need all the evidence you can get, if you're going to weasel your way out of whatever trouble Scuzzo's trying to get you into this time!"

Beetlejuice rolled his eyes three times around in his head. "Let's cut out the middle-man, babes!" he suggested, as a butcher-knife sliced a man-shape out of his midsection. The tiny Beetlejuice fell out, shook it's head vigorously, and leapt back into the hole, solidifying itself with him. "We can take the camera down to Juno, and she'll file it away in that weird system of her's!"

Wryly, Lydia asked, "You mean, her FILING system?"

Now, it was Beetlejuice's turn to wrinkle his nose. "Yeah, that stupid order-kick she's been on for about 500 years."

In a mockery of the night they got 'married', he offered Lydia his hand. "Shall we?" he asked.

Lydia smirked, reminded of that awful, awkward night that had somehow become the start of their relationship. "Of course." She took his hand.

BEETLEJUICE!

BEETLEJUICE!

BEETLEJUICE!

Instantly, they appeared in the Neitherworld, at the ominous fortress that housed Juno's office. "So, we just pop inside, drop the evidence off, and pop back up to your place," Beetlejuice repeated... trying his best to shake the subtle feeling that something wasn't quite right.

"Yeah, let's go," Lydia said with a smile. She neither felt the ominous feeling herself, nor did she have any reservations about visiting Beetlejuice's former boss.

Once inside the file-room, the flattened clerk noticed Lydia. His eyes widened, beyond their usually bugged-out look. He stopped in mid-track. "Ms. Deetz!" he said, looking around with clear worry on his face. "You can't be here! Not now!"

"Cut the crap, Roadkill," Beetlejuice demanded, eyebrows slightly furrowed in deeper apprehension. "We're just here to drop something off at Juno's place."

"That's what I'm talking about!" the flat man replied. "That's why she can't be here! Juno no longer works for the Department!"

"What are you talking about?!" Beetlejuice asked, suspicious. There were only three ways out of the Department: you either did such a good job that they kicked you out for being too proficient; you found a way around the usual rules, like Beetlejuice did, and went into business for yourself, while still remaining on the Government's payroll; or...

As the look of realization flashed in Beetlejuice's eyes - combined with some semblance of sympathetic grief for the woman who had begrudgingly become liek a mother to him, - and Lydia started to hug close to his arm in that frightened way she occasionally had, Roadkill looked off to the side. "Yeah... the big-wigs stopped by, and had her clear out her office. It's serious this time, Juice. You'll wanna slip away as soon as you can, too..."

Unable to move too much, the flat man couldn't whisper too quietly, but he still tried his best. "Word around the steno-pool is, this is all about you."

Lydia looked up at Beetlejuice, nearly panicking. "Beej, let's get out of here," she pleaded.

Beetlejuice shook his head. "Babes, as much as I can't stand Juno, she's like the mom I never had. I've got to find out what happened!"

Almost instantly, Lydia's skin turned a soft grey, and she and Beetlejuice were dressed as janitors. "That should work," he said. This must have been extremely serious, because he wasn't his usual jovial self. "We'll slip in, snoop around, and pop out, before anybody knows we're-"

Beetlejuice didn't even have the chance to finish explaining his plan, when they were suddenly surrounded by a group of chilling creatures in stark white masks and crimson cloaks. For the first time in years, Beetlejuice swore. "At least lemme send the girl back," he pleaded.

One of the monstrosities shook what could only be presumed to be it's head. A dark, almost clearly-formed claw poked out of the cloak, and pointed at both of them. Then, it indicated a dark, foggy mirror.

Beetlejuice looked into Lydia's eyes; for a moment, he looked almost pained with worry. The look quickly passed, and Beetlejuice put on his best car-salesman face. "Don't worry, Lyds," he reassured, "Nothing's gonna happen to you."

Lydia smiled mournfully, hoping Beetlejuice wouldn't be able to read her, like he usually could. "Yeah, of course. I believe you, Beej."

Lydia didn't get her wish. As they walked through the mirror, Beetlejuice knew what she was feeling, and it made his dead, shriveled, rotten heart sink like a stone. For the first time since he had formed in the Neitherworld, he was regretting every rotten thing he'd ever done.