I wasn't going to post this but I decided why the hell not? Please forgive me.
I wrote this a while ago when there were Batman movies on TV. I don't know why I did this, really I don't. Well, that's not entirely true, it's because Batman likes to stand on rooftops and so does Jack.
Summary: Torchwood gang takes a holiday to Gotham City to visit Ianto's English great-uncle who works for a certain billionaire. In Batman land this is a combo of the recent movies and the 90s cartoons because that's how I like to do things.
One shot only.
Gotham Knight
Ianto was so absorbed in his great-uncle's letter he didn't notice Jack come up behind him.
"Ianto, what…?"
Ianto yelped and turned to face him "Sir, sorry, I didn't notice you there."
Jack smiled "Don't apologise, I didn't mean to startle you. Whatchya got there?"
"Letter from my great-uncle Alfred; he's personal valet to Bruce Wayne in Gotham City." Ianto would normally have kept that to himself but Jack was probably reading over his shoulder and he didn't want to be caught in a lie…ever again.
Jack's eyes widened "Your great uncle works for Bruce Wayne?"
"Yes sir" Ianto measured some more coffee into the machine.
"He's a billionaire, right?"
"I believe so, sir."
Jack sighed "What have I told you about calling me that?"
"Sorry, Jack, old habits."
"Anyway, what does Uncle Alfred have to say?"
"To make sure I'm all right, haven't seen each other in a while and he promised my gran he'd check up on me. Actually, when I was a kid, Gran took me to Gotham to visit one summer. It was before Mr Wayne went missing for those few years, he wasn't fake which I thought bizarre for a rich man."
Jack leaned against the fridge "Then go and see them, you deserve some time off."
Ianto turned on the machine "You need me here."
"I'll go with you. I've always wanted to meet Bruce Wayne and I want to see what kind of technology this Batman character is using."
Ianto arched an eyebrow "And who should I be jealous of Jack, Mr Wayne or Batman?"
Jack laughed and tweaked Ianto's nose "Nothing to be jealous of."
"Anyway Jack, you just got back, they'd never forgive you if you left now."
"You're right, we'll all go then. We can all use a holiday. And before you say, UNIT can babysit the rift for a few days—they're not totally incompetent."
Seeing there was likely no getting out of this Ianto relented "Very well, may I make sure it's all right with Alfred?"
"Oh by all means."
…
It was perfectly all right with Alfred, he wanted to meet Ianto's friends and Mr Wayne was allowing them to stay in his house. He remembered meeting Ianto and thought he was a good kid and any family of Alfred's apparently… Just Ianto's luck.
…
Alfred picked them up at Gotham Airport in a stretch limousine.
"Oh wow" said Gwen.
"Nice" said Owen.
Alfred stepped out of the limo "Ianto it's good to see you."
"Uncle Alfred" they shook hands "These are my friends and co-workers, my boss Captain Jack Harkness."
"Sir" Alfred nodded.
Jack shook his hand warmly "Pleasure to meet you."
Ianto bit back a sigh and introduced the others. He helped Alfred load the luggage and then they were on their way.
…
They didn't meet Mr Wayne till dinner when he got home from his office.
After introductions—and Ianto resisting rolling his eyes at Jack's flirting—he told Mr Wayne "Thank you for your hospitality, sir. We really appreciate it."
Mr Wayne smiled and waved a hand "Don't mention it Ianto, it's my pleasure. How was the flight?"
They had flown to Gotham in Mr Wayne's private jet.
"Fantastic" Jack said "thanks for the ride."
"No problem. Shall we sit down?"
Ianto helped Alfred serve dinner. He was going to eat with him in another room but Mr Wayne insisted they both sit down at the table.
"So, what are your plans while you're in our fair city?" Mr Wayne asked.
Jack spoke for everyone "Look around see the sights and I'm interested in the city's nightlife."
"I understand Gotham has a good museum" Tosh said "I'd like to see that."
"Not surprising" Owen muttered.
"I'm sure Alfred will be happy to take you around" Wayne said "I'd go along but work keeps me busy. Lexcorp wants to do business and I have to think of a way of turning them down politely."
"Why's that?" Gwen asked.
Mr Wayne shrugged "Something about them I don't like."
"That reminds me" Jack said "as long as we're in this part of the country, maybe we ought to check out Metropolis."
"Why?" Ianto asked.
Jack smiled "I'd like to meet Batman while we're in Gotham, I'd like to meet Superman too."
Owen rolled his eyes "Of course you do."
Gwen stared at Jack "Do you intend on flirting with every superhero in the country?"
"Wrong F word Gwen" Owen muttered.
Alfred arched an eyebrow, Ianto put a hand on his forehead and Mr Wayne nearly choked on his soup. Ianto couldn't blame him, all the papers said he was a playboy with women only and likely would be surprised at such talk.
Ianto kicked at Owen under the table.
…
That night, when Wayne Manor was dark and quiet Ianto tiptoed to Jack's room. He was intent on taking Jack's mind off handsome billionaires and superheroes. Jack however was not in his room nor had his bed been slept in. Suddenly filled with jealously, he silently checked Mr Wayne's room—his bed hadn't been slept in either.
Ianto just barely stopped himself from checking Gwen's—Jack was a lot of things, a home wrecker wasn't one of them. Jack must be out on a rooftop somewhere. Ianto could call him but…he wanted to surprise him.
…
Bruce had told Jack he could borrow one of his cars if Alfred couldn't be bothered to drive him around. So that night Jack took the liberty and went in search of a view. It was a good thing Jack's wrist strap could bypass any security system. One of the tallest buildings in Gotham and therefore sure to have a great view was Wayne Tower.
When he reached the roof, he found someone already there. Jack grinned, the cape and pointy ears told him it was Batman.
Batman turned and saw him but didn't say anything.
"Hello" Jack said as he approached him and held out his hand "Captain Jack Harkness."
…
Batman didn't say anything because one, that was what he did and two, he was quite frankly stunned. What was Harkness doing up here and how did he get past security?
Harkness lowered his hand "Okay then. This is a nice view. I bet you can spot all sorts of wrong doing from here. We get nice views in Cardiff. That's where I'm based. I'm Torchwood."
Batman had heard of Torchwood, knew something about it too. They hunted aliens and the Torchwood in London had been destroyed. He hadn't been aware there was a branch in Cardiff. If Harkness was Torchwood, were the rest of them too? Was that why they were here? Did they use Alfred as an excuse to come to Gotham to investigate aliens? And if there were aliens in Gotham why didn't Batman now about it? "Why are you here?" he said finally.
"Ah, so you've heard of us. I'm curious as to what technology you use. Where'd you get it?"
"Not from aliens. You can try Metropolis."
Harkness grinned "I agree; Superman has to be alien. But you're telling me that you're just an ordinary human who uses advanced yet still ordinary tech?"
Batman had to smirk slightly "I never said I was ordinary."
It was then the Bat signal went on, at the same time Harkness's cell phone rang. Harkness turned as he answered it and Batman took the opportunity to leave.
…
Ianto should have just called Jack in the first place instead of trying to find him. It just figured that Ianto would come across a crime in progress…that was being committed by clowns.
His first reaction was to call Jack, once he had hid behind a dumpster.
"Ianto" Jack answered "what's up?"
"I was looking for you…"
He could hear Jack's grin "Were you?"
"Listen, where are you?"
"Roof of Wayne Tower."
"What are you doing there?" Ianto said more quickly than he meant to.
Jack chuckled "Why Ianto, is that jealously I hear in your voice?"
Ianto sighed "Jack, I've come across a crime in progress…"
"Why'd you do that for?"
"Jack, if you see the caped crusader while you're up there…"
"Actually, he's right…well he was. Sneaky. Where are you?"
"I hope you're not calling the cops" one of the clowns had caught Ianto. Not good. He ripped the mobile out of his hand.
"Shit." Ianto smiled nervously "I wasn't talking to the police."
The clown pointed a gun at him but then something flew at his hand and the clown dropped the gun.
Batman had leapt from the shadows and had started fighting with the clowns.
Ianto sighed in relief and relaxed until someone grabbed him and held a knife to his throat. Flashbacks to the countryside froze him.
The rest of the clowns were down. "Let him go" Batman said in a low rumbling voice.
"I don't think so" sneered the clown "unless a deal can be reached. No police and I won't cut English here."
That snapped Ianto out of it "I'm not English." He didn't struggle though, he didn't want to take a chance with that knife.
Turns out he didn't have to. A shot rang out and the clown fell dead.
Jack stood there, eyes dark "Don't scare me like that again Ianto."
Ianto went to him "I'm sorry sir."
"Why'd you come looking for me? Are we having trust issues?"
"Can we not have this conversation here?"
"No, we're going to have this conversation when and where I say we have this conversation. Did you think I was stepping out on you?"
Ianto crossed his arms and looked down "No."
"Don't lie to me."
Ianto's response was interrupted by sirens "we should get out of here unless you want to explain to American police what we're doing here."
"I'm sure Batman…he's gone again isn't he?"
"Yes sir."
"Fine."
…
When they got back to Wayne Manor, Ianto pulled Jack into his room "I'm sorry Jack. I know you value your freedom and I shouldn't feel jealous when you eye other men but I can't help it."
Jack kissed him "I'm flattered. But listen to me, my flirting doesn't mean anything. When I decide to be with someone, I'm faithful to them."
"So I've no reason to feel threatened by billionaires and well-built men in capes?"
"None whatsoever."
…
The next morning Jack and Ianto were alone in the conservatory when Mr Wayne approached them. "Good morning gentlemen."
"Good morning, Mr Wayne" Ianto said.
"Listen, I want to send you two to dinner. My treat."
"Us two?" Jack asked.
"Yes, you're an item aren't you?"
"How'd you know?"
Wayne smiled "It's obvious."
Ianto blinked "It is?"
…
Before Ianto and Jack left for dinner, Alfred intercepted Ianto as he came out of the bathroom.
"Yes, Uncle Alfred?"
"Ianto, when you get back tonight, I'd like to speak with you privately."
"Certainly sir. Is there anything wrong?"
"Oh not at all. I just thought it would be nice if we went over the old photo albums. It would have been your grandmother's seventieth birthday tomorrow."
Ianto smiled "Yes all right."
Alfred tugged at his suit jacket "Now, I am to drive you and Jack to dinner."
"By the way, you're okay with this, right? Me and Jack?"
Alfred smiled "Yes, Ianto. I just want for you to be happy."
…
Alfred poured Ianto some tea, they were alone in the library "How was dinner?"
"Great, it was nice to act like a normal couple for a change…not that we're really a couple."
"You're not?"
"We haven't really talked about it much. So you wanted to look at pictures?"
"Perhaps later. I want to talk to you about something else."
"Oh, what?"
"Your grandmother, Sarah was my younger sister. I must admit that at first I didn't approve of her marrying a miner who was also a Welshman but she never wanted to be a rich man's maid. My nephew, your father was a drunk."
Ianto sighed "I know, sir, I was there. Are you going somewhere with this?" the last thing Ianto wanted to do was talk about his father.
"I thought your poor mother would be good for him but…"
"But she was in and out of Providence Park and she committed suicide last year after he died of lung cancer and liver failure. Uncle Alfred, please I don't want to talk about this."
Alfred sighed "I know Ianto. Your brother-in-law, what's his profession?"
Ianto rubbed his temples "A bin man or a mechanic or some combination, I'm not sure. Why?"
"And Rhiannon works from home?"
"Stuffs envelopes."
"You seem to be the success in your family. Are you helping your sister?"
"When I can. Same as you…you know what I do don't you?"
"It's not that difficult to find out if you know where to look. Your career is very dangerous is it not?"
Okay, now Ianto was worried "Uncle Alfred?"
Alfred stood "I'm not going to live forever and I think it's time I take on an apprentice."
"Are you ill?"
"No but I'm not young either. Follow me Ianto and I will show you what I'm talking about."
…
Ianto had a lot to think about when Alfred was done showing him Wayne Manor's lower levels. This was just unbelievable. Bruce Wayne was Batman and Alfred helped him and they were offering Ianto the chance to take over for Alfred one day. What the hell? Why Ianto? Ianto wasn't all that special and he certainly wasn't as skilled at being a butler as Alfred.
He went into Jack's room and just leaned against the door.
"You okay?" Jack asked "did you not have a good time looking at photos?"
Ianto took a breath "That's not what we did."
"What did you do?" Jack pulled him away from the door.
"He and Mr Wayne offered me a job."
Jack's eyebrows shot up "A job?"
"As Alfred's apprentice, to take over for him one day. He should be retired by now anyway. He says he needs a younger person to handle the more physical aspects."
"Like cleaning windows and stuff?"
Ianto nodded "Yeah" he sank onto the bed "cleaning windows and stuff."
"Ianto" Jack sat next to him "what else is there?"
Ianto took another breath "Well, they said I could tell you. Mr Wayne likes you, thinks you're weird but he likes you."
…
All Jack said after Ianto's explanation was that they'd discuss it later. Once Ianto was asleep—and Jack made sure the young man was fully satiated—Jack tip-toed out of the room and then out of the house to track down Batman.
He found him surveying the city from the roof of Wayne Tower as expected.
"Ianto told me what was going on" he said right off.
Batman nodded.
Jack took a breath, he'd noticed that Bruce Wayne could be very chatty but apparently as soon as he put on that mask he got all quiet. "The job Ianto has now" Jack said "is very dangerous, there is absolutely no guarantee that he'll live to be Alfred's age if he stays with Torchwood."
"Nobody has that guarantee, Captain."
"I know but he'd have a better shot at it in another career. He'd be safer here, wouldn't he?"
"I can't promise that."
"But chances are good."
Batman nodded.
"And he'd have a better life here, wouldn't he? You'd give him full benefits, health care and the like?"
"Yes."
"You'd make sure he has a social life? His own friends?"
"I'd do what I can." Then for a moment, he dropped the mask—figuratively anyway "what about you? Aren't the two of you…?"
"Ianto deserves happiness and I can't give that to him. Believe me, I'd like to but I can't."
"Why not?"
Jack decided to be honest "I can't die."
If Batman was surprised by that, he didn't let it show.
Jack continued "I would love the chance to grow old with him but that's not gonna happen and he needs someone who can. So if he stays here, make sure he finds a partner."
"It's up to him."
"I know."
…
The next morning as they were getting dressed, Ianto asked "Where'd you go?"
"Noticed that huh?"
Ianto nodded.
Jack sighed "I was talking to Batman."
"What are your thoughts? Do you think I should stay?"
"I think it would be a good opportunity for you and for Torchwood. We should be in touch with superheroes. You could be our liaison."
"You think I should stay?"
Jack took Ianto's hands "I want you to be safer than you are in Torchwood. I want you to be happy and you have a better shot at that here."
"I'm happy with you."
Jack cupped Ianto's cheek "No you're not. You want to be and I want to be but we both know what that would take."
Ianto sighed "And we both know that's not going to happen. I don't enjoy the thrill of danger like the rest of you; I could do without it every day."
"And hey, you get to live in a mansion."
"Always a plus."
…
The End.
So Ianto decided to stay in Gotham and learn his great-uncle's trade. In a way, being valet to a superhero was more thrilling than Torchwood because you never knew when you might be facing certain death. With Torchwood that had pretty much been every day. That being said, Ianto had a much better quality of life because Batman did all the fighting. He also became rather popular among Bruce's friends for his coffee. He kept in touch with Jack too and had fun every time Jack came to town.
As for everything else you'll have to use your imaginations because I don't really know. I do know in this reality TW series 3 never happened because Superman and the other superheroes would NEVER allow it. Superman would just knock the 4-5-6 out of the sky.
That being said I'm not going to write any more of this reality because it would be too complicated. Feel free to try it yourself though, I might be interested just as long as there's no Gwack because that is never cool.
But please review if you enjoyed this little one shot.
TTFN
