Not just a flower
She went every day to see Sam's grave. And he knew it.
He hasn't talked to her, he knew something has happened when the herd attacked Alexandria. He knew Jessie's family died and he didn't fucking care but he knew she was going to suffer because of the little boy's death. He is angry at God, at the world, at the walkers, at everyone… every fucking kid who got close to her, dies.
He knew something else has happened but no one knew anything. He just saw Morgan following Carol constantly and he saw her sending him away. He didn't know what the fuck to do. The funny thing is that he was the only one who cared. He didn't see Rick thanking Carol for fighting, not Michonne, not Maggie.. no one. No one cares why she was limping since that day, no one cares why she run away from the house when everyone is awake, no one cares why Morgan looks at her with guilt in his face.
And fuck, he wanted to go to her so bad but she looked so distanced, sometimes he thinks she's not ready here. Not anymore. Maybe her body is here but he knows her mind is far away..And he misses her, fuck, he really misses her
Some days he feels like a part of him is missing. He remembers when he found her in Terminus, he felt so complete with her in his arms.. but they took her away from him. Again.
The story of his life, losing Carol again and again
- Man, you ready to go?- asked Glenn
-Yeah come'on- he said as he saw her leaving Sam's grave and go into the van with others.
He hope everything go well in this.. attack. He is not ready for losing her again.
He'll never be.
….
He knew it. He fucking knew it. He told Rick this attack was a bad idea but Rick didn't listent to him. He told him too it was a bad idea to let Maggie and Carol alone…
It's Carol man, they'll be safe
Fucking Rick
He was trucking them right now, he knew it was Carol who has left the trail. She knew he would look for her, for them and she knew he would find them. Smart girl.
Just.. fuck.. please… stay safe, Carol
…..
He saw her sleeping in the bed of the van with Maggie, both of them asleep. They have fallen asleep the moment they were in the van. He saw Glenn watching them and he knew Rick was looking at them from time to time. He wanted to shout at Rick, scream at him because he told him this plan was shit .
He stood up and he moved to look at her in the bed, she looked so tired, so exhausted but he was surprised to see that Maggie and her were holding hands. He knew they weren't the closest friends but he could see they love each other dearly.
- Daryl- whispered Glenn- I need to talk to you and Rick
- Okay man- he said and they went to where Rick was, he was resting now while the others were driving the van
- Did Maggie tell you something?- asked Rick
The three ot them sat closer and Glenn sighed
- She said they killed them all, they didn't left anyone alive.. she said something about Carol being.. Carol wasn't okay, like she's breaking down or something like that but still she saved Maggie again- said Glenn looking at the girls again- Maggie was hurt but Carol was hit too..
- Daryl? - asked Rick- You okay?
Of course he wasn't. How the fuck was he going to be okay after this?
- Yeah man- he said getting up again and going to look at Carol who continued sleeping
He knew everyone was looking at him but he didn't fucking care. He was feeling like someone has stabbed him.
…
He took her in his arms and left the van, Rick was walking next to has taken Maggie and he was going to the infirmary. He knew Carol needed to be checked too but she needed some sleep first. Rick opened the door and he let them in.
- You need help taking her upstairs?- asked Rick brushing Carol's hair and looking at him
- I'm good- he said and he went upstairs with her in his arms
When he entered the room, he saw it was so.. artificial. It looked like she wasn't even living in it. He laid her down in bed carefully and he sat next to her looking at her.
How many times was he going to lose her? He wonder if she has any of those nine lives yet..He doubts it. He has done such a shit job protecting her.
Where are we?- she asked sleepy and with her eyes closed
- Home.. in your room- he said and he waited for her joke.
But she didn't and it hurt so bad.
- You need to go to the infirmary, you want to go now?- he asked her and he saw her moving carefully
- I'm good
- I know you're hurting, we need to know if you're hurt somewhere- he said as he moved from the bed . He kneeled next to her looking at her and he knew she had her eyes closed so she doesn't have to look at him
- I'll go tomorrow- she said- I promise
He didn't say anything else and he thought she has fallen asleep. He sat in the floor, next to her. He could hear her breathing and it was calming him.
He remembered the fear he felt when they said "We got a Carol and a Maggie". He thought it was over. He thought he would find her dead. He thought he would never hold her in his arms.. and he felt so empty.
Funny thing, he has already lost her. She doesn't look at him at the eyes and he never thought he could miss her jokes so bad
-Why are you still here?- she asked and he turned to look at her
She looked like an angel with the moonlight over her. Maybe she truly was one. An angel trapped on Earth
- Truth is.. I got nothing else to do- he said and she laughed bitterly
- How funny.. you don't have flowers this time, do you?- she asked looking at the window now
And then, it hit him.
The flower he found in the forest. He still had it in his took it in his hands, it was… terrible really. But it was still complete
- You're gonna laugh at me but.. look- he said extending his hand and she turned to him- I found it when I was out there, I almost gave up and then a fucking walker appeared with this rose… I couldn't believe it. I knew then that I had to come back here…
He looked at her then and he saw her smiling. Fuck. She was fucking smiling and crying
- I know it's just a flower…- he started to say but he couldn't finished his sentence because she jumped to his arms crying and hugging him
He held her as she cried half night after that, he whispered sweet things into her ear. She fell asleep at some point but he didn't move.
He didn't want to let her go, she is the most precious thing he's ever had
…..
- Good morning guys- said Carol as she prepared some breakfast
He woke up and he went hunting, he left carefully so he would not wake her up. And when he came back, she was cooking in the kitchen
- Morning- he said sitting
- How are you?- asked Rick- You need help going to the infirmary?
- You're sweet- she said kissing Rick's head- Maybe.. Daryl could take me there? I'm a little pained
- Sure- he said looking at her
- I'm gonna get ready then- she said leaving and then he noticed she has put the flower in a bottle.
- She looks better…. did you give her that, right?- said Rick pointing at the cherokee rose
- mm.. yeah
- It's funny how women get happier with just a flower- said Rick as he left the room- Gonna wake up Jude, bye man
He stayed there in the kitchen looking at the flower
It wasn't just a flower
It was much more.
