(A/N) In case you're not familiar with 80s movies, The Breakfast Club is a thing that exists. It's a movie that you should all watch if you haven't already. But this right here is my Sonicified version. It's my first M rated story, and it's all about high school (which I just graduated from...*looks around expectantly for cookies*) so I somehow just felt an impulse to write it.

It is also my first story that I completely dedicate to humor. I occasionally slip jokes into my other stories, but never make it just about the jokes. Let's see how good I am at being funny. How hard can it be, right guys?...guys?

Overall, I have a serious case of writer's block and am slowly trucking along for the final chapter of We Will Always Be Enemies. If anyone cares about this story enough that a continuation interests them, I'll be happy to deliver.

The Breakfast Club is a 1985 comedy-drama film written and directed by John Hughes. I do not claim any of these ideas as my own. I hope I'm not breaking any rules. And I'll be damned if a story like this has already been done in the Sonic category.

Enjoy.

*sobs sexually in corner*

(x)

Mobius High.

Something about seeing the building on such a gray morning made Sonic the Hedgehog shrivel in his footsteps. This was a Saturday morning. Getting up early during the week was essential for any student enrolled in high school. But today? He wasn't supposed to be here. He was supposed to be buried under ten layers of blankets, snoring away until the wee hours of the afternoon where he'd clamber into the kitchen and insist that his mother make his favorite blueberry pancakes at 4 PM.

That's the way it was supposed to go. He wasn't supposed to be here at Saturday morning detention. It was totally uncool.

Thankfully, the track runner, popularly dubbed as the 'Blue Blur' by his peers, was able to run here from his house, sans vehicle because his feet were like little legends with toes, before detention was scheduled to begin at seven in the morning. He had about fifteen minutes to spare. Maybe he could go screwing around in the cafeteria, looking for leftover chili, or hot dogs. Or chili dogs. Or hot dogs. Or dogs. He was starving. His parents weren't even awake yet to feed him, so he had nothing to ingest but the musky air.

Even though he was more than certain there wasn't a breakfast buffet waiting for him, anything was better than standing in the same place and dreading the day in store for him. He had to get it over with. With a stifled yawn, the hedgehog scrambled in through the front doors.

As he entered, Amy Rose was just arriving in a beautifully crafted car that was not her own. Her friend's mother, Vanilla the Rabbit, was kind enough to drop her off this morning so she could avoid getting in trouble with her parents.

"Thank you so much, Vanilla. You're a lifesaver," she thanked the elder bunny. "Just whatever you do, don't tell my mom where I am. She thinks Cream and I had a normal sleepover like we always do."

"You did have a normal sleepover, dear. Telling her that wouldn't be a lie in the slightest. I have the empty pocky boxes scattered all over the house as evidence."

Amy blinked. "Oh, well that's good then, I guess."

She climbed out the passenger door and slammed it shut behind her. The pink hedgehog wore a silky red dress embroidered with iridescent beads. Her dark heels clapped across the pavement, her neatly cut hair swaying out from her face as a chilly wind rolled over. Amy had painted over whatever exhaustion was present on her rather pleasantly beautiful features with make-up. She looked pretty good despite the situation. Detention, really? She'd never had detention in her life. How was she going to have the energy to shop later with Cream and Cosmo? As much as she liked buying things, no one would have the drive to do so after sitting in a room for eight hours.

From a distance, another hedgehog clad in a black leather jacket emerged from the shade of a tree and locked his eyes on Amy's retreating back. He growled with disgust at all the exquisite jewels bouncing off her frame.

Regular detention was nothing unusual to Shadow the Hedgehog. He got in trouble quite often at the school, mostly for mocking the faculty members and doing just about anything to stir up a crowd. But rounding his rock band up, entering last week's talent show, and dedicating one of their songs to their principal, Silver the Hedgehog, had definitely been the straw to break the camel's back.

He couldn't resist, though. He was so tired of the white stuck-up prude getting onto him for swearing. Swearing, as if it were a crime. He had it coming, and knowing Shadow for his antics, he should've seen it from a mile away.

How did that song go again?

Oh, damn you Mr. Silver,

You're going straight to Hell,

Damn you, Silver, damn damn damn,

What the hell, Silver, damn

Dammit. Where's that damn fourth period...

Damn you principal...

YOU UGLY PIECE OF-

Cue obnoxious guitar solo.

Yeah it was definitely less of a song and more of a horror fanatic's wet dream, what with all the shouting and blisteringly loud audio. His drum player went crazy with that one.

How he hadn't been expelled, he wasn't sure. How he was the only one who had to come here when his band members didn't, he didn't know and sure as hell didn't like. But the look on the tight-ass principal's face after the song was over had somehow made it all better, and made him care about the consequences a little less.

Though it would've been really nice if he weren't at the school on a Saturday morning. He confirmed this in his head when he saw Amy Rose, the elegant little princess, a.k.a. the school's little bundle of popularity and wealth, strutting into the school like it were a red carpet event.

It was going to be a long day.

Though probably a lot longer for another detention attendee, who's parent nearly careened into Shadow as he passed through the street without a single glance in either direction.

"OH GOD, MOM, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE! YOU ALMOST KILLED THAT GUY!"

Miles Tails Prower's mother glared back at him in the rear-view mirror.

"DON'T YOU EVEN DARE USE THAT TONE WITH ME! YOU SAW HIM JUST WALK RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!"

Even though the damage had already been done, she went ahead slammed a fist into the car's horn. Shadow didn't even flinch. He passed by, completely unfazed.

The vixen gritted her pointed teeth. "Damn teenagers, waltzing around like they pay rent."

Tails slumped backwards in his seat, embarrassed by her outburst, before collecting his backpack and tossing it over his shoulder.

"Make sure you behave, Tails! Don't give the principal anymore trouble!"

"Okay mom..."

"And don't talk if he's talking!"

"Yes ma'am..."

"And if there's any extra credit available, be sure to bring it home!"

"Mom, it's detention..."

She reached back towards him and snagged the comic out of his hands.

"No sir! No more manga until I pick you up! That's part of the punishment."

Tails' cerulean eyes popped open. "B-But mom!"

"No buts! You can find out what happens to this...erm.." her fingers sifted through some of the pages and her son flushed at the content, "Haruhi Suzumiya...does...after the day's over."

Tails scowled to himself. How was he to go the whole day wondering what shenanigans the SOS Brigade were getting into this time? He didn't handle curiosity all that well. And mixed with desperation, it might end up a disaster of catastrophic proportions.

He lingered for a while, waiting for her to say anything else after that, or possibly blurt another order. But when she said nothing, the fox calmly shut his door and headed into the school manga-less. He stuffed his hands into his uniformed pockets and made sure to keep his distance from Shadow, who kicked the door open in front of him and stepped inside like he didn't care to be alive.

Then, one final car rolled up. A dirtier car, this time with a male driver. Big the Cat. He definitely lived up to his name, as he was a large, robust cat with violet fur and long ears that stuck out of both corresponding passenger windows. His teenage daughter, a cat of lighter purple and eyes like piercing sunshine, had no choice but to lounge in the backseat away from his intrusive ears. When the vehicle rolled to a stop, her face shot up. She singed the strapping of her seatbelt, allowing it to dissolve off her body.

Big's rubbery yellow gloves tensed around the steering wheel.

"Blaze, don't start none of that. Just get out."

"I don't want to be here."

"I said get out."

Blaze crossed her arms defiantly, her left eye twitching. "But Dad, you don't understand. I just want to burn things."

"I understand that perfectly well! I have the skin grafts to prove it!" her father yelled to her. "Now go, be done with this already. Get out of here before you explode the engine. And take your literally fiery temper along with you."

Blaze huffed and climbed out of the car, stomping into Mobius High School without even humoring the courtesy of closing the door behind her. She left small flames in her tracks that blackened the concrete sidewalk, and, as she completely ignored the path to the front door and cut through the grass, dead patches that were once green and thriving.

Big whispered a prayer to himself before leaving.

Once Blaze was inside the grossly familiar building, she immediately located the library on the other end of the hall. That's where she was told detention would be held.

She watched as an orange fox in front of her approached the double doors, flicking at the handle with nervous fingers. She smirked sadistically to herself.

Mm, a freshman. More like fresh meat to burn.

Inside the library, Shadow had plopped himself down at a desk somewhere in the back near the wooden shelves. Amy and Sonic were in front of him seated closer together. They paused and looked at each other, smiling in acknowledgement. Sonic leaned back and stretched his arms out while Amy held up a mirror and fluffed at her quills. Tails shuffled inside, closely followed by Blaze. The fox placed himself in an isolated spot off to the left. He bounced his leg up and down furiously, dropping a hand on the surface of his desk and anxiously tapping his fingers. Knowing he was in detention...Saturday detention...made his palms sweat like nothing else could. Except maybe the thought of Mikuru-chan in lingerie.

And lastly, Blaze sat somewhere not far from Shadow. She eyed the books behind her mischievously. So many things to burn, so little time. The feline cracked her knuckles, causing a few orange sparks to pop out of her fists.

Once they were all securely set on their bums, the clock hanging above the door struck seven.

Tick...tock...tick...tock.

They all glanced at each other once, and then faced forward.

Detention had begun.