Hey everybody! :D I'm publishing my first story... I'd love to hear any reviews or whatnot you've got! I know it isn't great, but I think it's okay, and I'm planning on posting better chapters on here anyway. Cheers! :)
Welcome to the story. Hi. I will be your narrator for today.
What's my name, you ask? What's that? You didn't ask? Well, TOO BAD. I'm your narrator, and you're stuck with me.
Believe me, this is NOT what I had in mind when I started to mess with everyone. It was just a joke, right? I mean, it's not like I caused the world to end or whatever.
…Or whatever.
Plz forgives me. I not means to kill so many people… I didon't know I cud does so much destructions to happeninged. I didon't mean to die your loveralers, or anyone else's…
but I has to say, it sure as heckajob wasn't my fault! Everyones blameded it on me, when it really wasn't! You suckas was just mad 'cause yous know eyes pawn yahs!
…Meesa fallen into sad state… nobodys talk to mees anymore… everyone just… avoideds me…
I dont needings them! I'm brightly on my own! Everything I does be just fines, and one days I'ms goening to saves the world! Yesa I sures ammmnbnfjdkabhebkirajlrfygbs jkruailgraeuilngfhgtrtg
You pound on the keyboard. There's no denying it.
Your writing sucks.
Your name is EMILY MOFFIT, and you SUCK AT WRITING STORIES. You hope one day to be an INSPIRING NOVELIST, but at the rate things are going, that goal will be achieved HALF PAST NEVER. Besides sucking at writing, you also suck at COOKING, DRAWING, TECHNOLOGY, and pretty much EVERYTHING ELSE IN THE UNIVERSE. There is NOTHING YOU CAN DO RIGHT. Everything you touch EXPLODES ever since your brother CUT DOWN THE FOREST. Rumors about your POWERS have circulated around, and everyone AVOIDS YOU. You are a FAILURE IN LIFE. You-
You sniffle. You cannot go on. You suck at everything, why don't you just leave it at that?
Sniff, sniff. Now look what you've done. Crying is not suitable behavior for a failure. You need comfort. You need…
…a moffin.
You grab a muffin randomly sitting in your bed. What? A muffin? You have heard of no such thing. This, this BEAUTIFUL moffin is not a muffin. Oh no. It is far more evolved than that, far higher on the evolutionary ladder. This is the great, the miraculous, the stupendous, the unimaginable taste of wonder. This is…
…the MOFFIN.
You chomp on the moffin.
MOFF MOFF MOFF
Poor moffin. It lived such a short life. It shall always be remembered for its bravery, its courage. It sacrificed itself so other moffins may live. The other moffins hold a funeral for the moffin that once was. The moffin mayor of moffin town steps up to the podium as the town gathers around him. The moffin mayor makes sure the microphone is on. The moffin mayor has a few emotional words to say. The moffin mayor opens his mouth and begins to speak. The moffin mayor-
MOFF MOFF MOFF
The moffin mayor is no more.
You start to reach for another moffin when a sharp !PING! scares the crap out of you and you end up slapping the moffin halfway across the room. It bounces off the window and lands on a chair in front of a desk.
It just so happens that you have a message from one of your chums on your computer. Your computer is on your desk. Your desk is in front of your chair. And your moffin is on your chair.
You make your way to your computer and gaze at the moffin sitting so elegantly on your chair.
Destiny
MOFF MOFF MOFF
You open up your pesterlog. Oh, great. Him again.
|PESTERLOG|
- DeathhandTomatoglitter [DT] began pestering NovelistaMoffinlovah[NM] at 16:13 –
DT: EMMAEMMAEMMAEMMAEMMAEMMA
DT: EMMYEMMYEMMYEMMYEMMYEMMY
DT: EMMYLIAEMMYLIAEMMYLIAEMMYLIA
DT: EMMACHANEMMACHANEMMACHANEMMA CHAN
NM: Oh moffin. Not yous again.
DT: actualie this is his youngah brather :D
NM: Really? How did yous manage to get on his account?
DT: it was easie!
DT: i just waited 'till he left ta go get the mailies
DT: and then
DT: i sort af
DT: hit the lockies button on tha door
NM: Yous locked him out?
DT: yeah
DT: its funny see hes yelling far me ta apen up
DT: and aur sistah is making faces at him
DT: payback for when he forgat abaut her in school that one day
NM: Haha, for reals? Yous is serious?
DT: realie realie seriaus ;) *nudge nudge* And naw that im here I gat to tell you samething
NM: Samething?
DT: s*o*mething
NM: Why didon't yous just put the O in the first time?
DT: cause
DT: the O is sa empty, it hurts me
DT: i dan't like ta use Os if I can help it
DT: butbutbut I still gat ta tell yau samething
DT: abaut my brather
NM: Okays, so what abouts your brother?
DT: well, yau see… hes gat a crush an samebady yau know
NM: Moff? Isn't it that news girl he's been hanging arounds with a lots lately?
DT: na
DT: far the recard im anly telling yau this cause he broke my sistahs bunny
NM: He broke yous sisters bunny? But don't she loves that thing?
DT: yeah
DT: but that's not the paint!
NM: Paint?
DT: point
NM: Okays.
NM: ...hellos?
NM: Yous there?
DT: sarry
DT: my bra gat pissed we wauldn't answer
DT: and he tried to climb up aur apen windaw
NM: Reallys? Did he makes it in?
DT: well if he did I wauldn't be talking ta yau naw wauld i?
NM: I guess nots?
DT: na
DT: but what i wanted ta say
DT: is that he lkiflbruiaelwrulghryeaugryae uk
DT: liefbhawukeikebjfkaiekwaeili ekewliaekabfjkritlkjlkilkes
NM: ?
DT: guess who's back baby!
NM: Ugh, noes! Put yous brother back on! He was abouts to tells me something important!
DT: my *brother* is not here anymore
DT: hes been stuffed in a closet for messing with my stuff
NM: What? Oh noes, let him outs! He didon't do nothing!
DT: shut up stupid girl
DT: nobody messes with my stuff
DT: nobody
NM: Then maybe yous cans tells me what he were going to says?
DT: heck no
DT: stupid runt aint gonna blackmail me
DT: and i aint stupid enough to blackmail myself
NM: But he saids it were important!
DT: well thats too bad for the little moldy muffin
NM: Moffin! MOFF!
DT: like i seriously give a moffin
Moff! He said moffin! It's a miracle… he's acting so nicely today, too! He's not cussing or saying mean things.
HE CHANGED!
…
…Nah. That's impossible for someone like him, right? Besides, he locked his brother in a closet. That's not exactly *nice* behavior.
Moff.
|PESTERLOG|
DT: so moffy
DT: I gotta ask you something
NM: Not untils yous let yous brother outs the closet!
DT: later
NM: Nows!
DT: fine
DT: there its done
NM: Whats ups with yous today? Yous so nice.
DT: im getting to that
DT: i want to ask you something
NM: Yous? Go rights aheads.
DT: so
DT: i got into a fight with some idiotheads around here
DT: you know how it is
Yes, you do indeed.
The world as you know it is divided into two parts, two planets connected by a single, narrow bridge. The planets are both the same size and shape, but are radically different; rich and poor, good and bad, smart and not-so-smart. Everyone is given a label at birth, and you can never change it.
You yourself are lucky enough to have been deemed smart-looking enough to live on Derse, the planet of the good, smart, and rich people, but your friend here isn't so lucky. He lives on Prospit, the planet of the slum dogs. The poor planet, where you have to fight to survive and steal to live. It's their way of life. You can never escape it.
|PESTERLOG|
DT: we ended up starting a competition
DT: us prospitians against you derseites
NM: Moff moff?
DT: except we have to get some derseites to go along with us
DT: you know
DT: fight to the death and all that
NM: MOFF?! No ways!
DT: it won't be for real
DT: derse makes one half of it, prospit makes the other half
DT: ive got one guy whos good at computers and crap making half of some skeleton of the game
DT: itll be an online game like an mmo
DT: but the thing is
DT: we need some derse people to do their half of the game
NM: MOFF! And yous think ims smart enough to do ours half of its?!
DT: considering you live on derse
DT: yeah
NM: MOFF! And whys, moff, do yous even wants to do this?!
DT: cause thats the only thing that unites the prospitians
DT: our hate for you derseites
NM: …
Crap. You hated to admit it, but it was true. The Prospitians had a deep hate for the Derseites. They could argue about everything in the world, but that was the only thing they would ever agree on.
Down with Derse.
|PESTERLOG|
DT: think about it
NM: I don'ts needs to thinks about it. I don't want to hurts yous or anyone elses and I don'ts see the points to this.
DT: emily
DT: you don't understand the situation here
DT: gang fights got so intense
DT: tons of people have been dying lately
DT: i know ive been a douche to you lately
DT: and everyone else
DT: but im really not as violent as i usually sound like
DT: seriously though ill kill you if you ever tell anyone any of this
DT: but i worry for my brother and sister
DT: I don't want them to die
DT: and if some "war" with you derseites is what it takes then so be it
NM: I can'ts. I ain't good at anythings.
DT: emily please
DT: youre one of the only people who will ever listen to me
DT: if others find out youre in
DT: theyll join in too
NM: …
DT: do it for my brother
DT: I know you guys are close
NM: …
NM: Fines.
