Hey everybody! :D I'm publishing my first story... I'd love to hear any reviews or whatnot you've got! I know it isn't great, but I think it's okay, and I'm planning on posting better chapters on here anyway. Cheers! :)

Welcome to the story. Hi. I will be your narrator for today.

What's my name, you ask? What's that? You didn't ask? Well, TOO BAD. I'm your narrator, and you're stuck with me.

Believe me, this is NOT what I had in mind when I started to mess with everyone. It was just a joke, right? I mean, it's not like I caused the world to end or whatever.

…Or whatever.

Plz forgives me. I not means to kill so many people… I didon't know I cud does so much destructions to happeninged. I didon't mean to die your loveralers, or anyone else's…

but I has to say, it sure as heckajob wasn't my fault! Everyones blameded it on me, when it really wasn't! You suckas was just mad 'cause yous know eyes pawn yahs!

…Meesa fallen into sad state… nobodys talk to mees anymore… everyone just… avoideds me…

I dont needings them! I'm brightly on my own! Everything I does be just fines, and one days I'ms goening to saves the world! Yesa I sures ammmnbnfjdkabhebkirajlrfygbs jkruailgraeuilngfhgtrtg

You pound on the keyboard. There's no denying it.

Your writing sucks.

Your name is EMILY MOFFIT, and you SUCK AT WRITING STORIES. You hope one day to be an INSPIRING NOVELIST, but at the rate things are going, that goal will be achieved HALF PAST NEVER. Besides sucking at writing, you also suck at COOKING, DRAWING, TECHNOLOGY, and pretty much EVERYTHING ELSE IN THE UNIVERSE. There is NOTHING YOU CAN DO RIGHT. Everything you touch EXPLODES ever since your brother CUT DOWN THE FOREST. Rumors about your POWERS have circulated around, and everyone AVOIDS YOU. You are a FAILURE IN LIFE. You-

You sniffle. You cannot go on. You suck at everything, why don't you just leave it at that?

Sniff, sniff. Now look what you've done. Crying is not suitable behavior for a failure. You need comfort. You need…

…a moffin.

You grab a muffin randomly sitting in your bed. What? A muffin? You have heard of no such thing. This, this BEAUTIFUL moffin is not a muffin. Oh no. It is far more evolved than that, far higher on the evolutionary ladder. This is the great, the miraculous, the stupendous, the unimaginable taste of wonder. This is…

…the MOFFIN.

You chomp on the moffin.

MOFF MOFF MOFF

Poor moffin. It lived such a short life. It shall always be remembered for its bravery, its courage. It sacrificed itself so other moffins may live. The other moffins hold a funeral for the moffin that once was. The moffin mayor of moffin town steps up to the podium as the town gathers around him. The moffin mayor makes sure the microphone is on. The moffin mayor has a few emotional words to say. The moffin mayor opens his mouth and begins to speak. The moffin mayor-

MOFF MOFF MOFF

The moffin mayor is no more.

You start to reach for another moffin when a sharp !PING! scares the crap out of you and you end up slapping the moffin halfway across the room. It bounces off the window and lands on a chair in front of a desk.

It just so happens that you have a message from one of your chums on your computer. Your computer is on your desk. Your desk is in front of your chair. And your moffin is on your chair.

You make your way to your computer and gaze at the moffin sitting so elegantly on your chair.

Destiny

MOFF MOFF MOFF

You open up your pesterlog. Oh, great. Him again.

|PESTERLOG|
- DeathhandTomatoglitter [DT] began pestering NovelistaMoffinlovah[NM] at 16:13 –

DT: EMMAEMMAEMMAEMMAEMMAEMMA

DT: EMMYEMMYEMMYEMMYEMMYEMMY

DT: EMMYLIAEMMYLIAEMMYLIAEMMYLIA

DT: EMMACHANEMMACHANEMMACHANEMMA CHAN

NM: Oh moffin. Not yous again.

DT: actualie this is his youngah brather :D

NM: Really? How did yous manage to get on his account?

DT: it was easie!

DT: i just waited 'till he left ta go get the mailies

DT: and then

DT: i sort af

DT: hit the lockies button on tha door

NM: Yous locked him out?

DT: yeah

DT: its funny see hes yelling far me ta apen up

DT: and aur sistah is making faces at him

DT: payback for when he forgat abaut her in school that one day

NM: Haha, for reals? Yous is serious?

DT: realie realie seriaus ;) *nudge nudge* And naw that im here I gat to tell you samething

NM: Samething?

DT: s*o*mething

NM: Why didon't yous just put the O in the first time?

DT: cause

DT: the O is sa empty, it hurts me

DT: i dan't like ta use Os if I can help it

DT: butbutbut I still gat ta tell yau samething

DT: abaut my brather

NM: Okays, so what abouts your brother?

DT: well, yau see… hes gat a crush an samebady yau know

NM: Moff? Isn't it that news girl he's been hanging arounds with a lots lately?

DT: na

DT: far the recard im anly telling yau this cause he broke my sistahs bunny

NM: He broke yous sisters bunny? But don't she loves that thing?

DT: yeah

DT: but that's not the paint!

NM: Paint?

DT: point

NM: Okays.

NM: ...hellos?

NM: Yous there?

DT: sarry

DT: my bra gat pissed we wauldn't answer

DT: and he tried to climb up aur apen windaw

NM: Reallys? Did he makes it in?

DT: well if he did I wauldn't be talking ta yau naw wauld i?

NM: I guess nots?

DT: na

DT: but what i wanted ta say

DT: is that he lkiflbruiaelwrulghryeaugryae uk

DT: liefbhawukeikebjfkaiekwaeili ekewliaekabfjkritlkjlkilkes

NM: ?

DT: guess who's back baby!

NM: Ugh, noes! Put yous brother back on! He was abouts to tells me something important!

DT: my *brother* is not here anymore

DT: hes been stuffed in a closet for messing with my stuff

NM: What? Oh noes, let him outs! He didon't do nothing!

DT: shut up stupid girl

DT: nobody messes with my stuff

DT: nobody

NM: Then maybe yous cans tells me what he were going to says?

DT: heck no

DT: stupid runt aint gonna blackmail me

DT: and i aint stupid enough to blackmail myself

NM: But he saids it were important!

DT: well thats too bad for the little moldy muffin

NM: Moffin! MOFF!

DT: like i seriously give a moffin

Moff! He said moffin! It's a miracle… he's acting so nicely today, too! He's not cussing or saying mean things.

HE CHANGED!

…Nah. That's impossible for someone like him, right? Besides, he locked his brother in a closet. That's not exactly *nice* behavior.

Moff.

|PESTERLOG|

DT: so moffy

DT: I gotta ask you something

NM: Not untils yous let yous brother outs the closet!

DT: later

NM: Nows!

DT: fine

DT: there its done

NM: Whats ups with yous today? Yous so nice.

DT: im getting to that

DT: i want to ask you something

NM: Yous? Go rights aheads.

DT: so

DT: i got into a fight with some idiotheads around here

DT: you know how it is

Yes, you do indeed.

The world as you know it is divided into two parts, two planets connected by a single, narrow bridge. The planets are both the same size and shape, but are radically different; rich and poor, good and bad, smart and not-so-smart. Everyone is given a label at birth, and you can never change it.

You yourself are lucky enough to have been deemed smart-looking enough to live on Derse, the planet of the good, smart, and rich people, but your friend here isn't so lucky. He lives on Prospit, the planet of the slum dogs. The poor planet, where you have to fight to survive and steal to live. It's their way of life. You can never escape it.

|PESTERLOG|

DT: we ended up starting a competition

DT: us prospitians against you derseites

NM: Moff moff?

DT: except we have to get some derseites to go along with us

DT: you know

DT: fight to the death and all that

NM: MOFF?! No ways!

DT: it won't be for real

DT: derse makes one half of it, prospit makes the other half

DT: ive got one guy whos good at computers and crap making half of some skeleton of the game

DT: itll be an online game like an mmo

DT: but the thing is

DT: we need some derse people to do their half of the game

NM: MOFF! And yous think ims smart enough to do ours half of its?!

DT: considering you live on derse

DT: yeah

NM: MOFF! And whys, moff, do yous even wants to do this?!

DT: cause thats the only thing that unites the prospitians

DT: our hate for you derseites

NM: …

Crap. You hated to admit it, but it was true. The Prospitians had a deep hate for the Derseites. They could argue about everything in the world, but that was the only thing they would ever agree on.

Down with Derse.

|PESTERLOG|

DT: think about it

NM: I don'ts needs to thinks about it. I don't want to hurts yous or anyone elses and I don'ts see the points to this.

DT: emily

DT: you don't understand the situation here

DT: gang fights got so intense

DT: tons of people have been dying lately

DT: i know ive been a douche to you lately

DT: and everyone else

DT: but im really not as violent as i usually sound like

DT: seriously though ill kill you if you ever tell anyone any of this

DT: but i worry for my brother and sister

DT: I don't want them to die

DT: and if some "war" with you derseites is what it takes then so be it

NM: I can'ts. I ain't good at anythings.

DT: emily please

DT: youre one of the only people who will ever listen to me

DT: if others find out youre in

DT: theyll join in too

NM: …

DT: do it for my brother

DT: I know you guys are close

NM: …

NM: Fines.