The weather matched my mood perfectly. My bag felt heavy on my shoulder, even though all I had inside were a clean T-shirt, a few crumpled papers and a couple of pens. My red hair felt strangely inappropriate today. It was too loud, too cheerful. But I didn't bother to dye it black.
I crossed a red light and turned around a corner. As I continued placing one foot in front of another, my surroundings shifted from an urban village to a more rural setting. Gone were the high-rise apartments, the tarred roads, the happy bungalows, and in their place was the overwhelming stench of death. Columns and columns of it, billowing from rows after rows of low-lying residential made of marble, concrete, granite.
I stopped in front of a particular tombstone. A tear trickled from the corner of my eye.
My father smiled back at me. I heaved a heavy sigh.
April 1st. It was my 16th birthday.
It was also the first anniversary of my father's death.
The death that I caused.
**
"Sakuragi! You're late!"
I should've prevented it. I could've prevented it. But I didn't.
"Hey! Stop right there! I'm talking to you!"
Damn those lousy high schoolers. They should pay.
"SAKURAGI HANAMICHI!"
Has it been only a year? It feels like forever...
"Sakuragi-kun?"
Sometimes, I really miss him. So much.
"Oi, Hanamichi..."
I wonder if he'd be proud of me if he were still alive...
"HA! NA! MI! CHI!"
My head snapped up. Yohei and the gang were all looking at me.
"Huh? Where am I?"
Yohei shook his head and smiled a little. "You've been off in your own little world ever since you came to school. Which was" -- he checked his watch -- "almost two hours ago."
"Oh," I said. I looked around me. "Is it lunchtime?"
"No," Noma answered. "We got you out of class to avoid a confrontation between you and all your angry teachers."
"Oh," I said again. "Thanks."
My friends were worried about me. That much was obvious from the similar look on their faces. Even Takamiya had stopped his usual taunting today.
"Hey, Hanamichi..."
I didn't answer.
"...happy birthday."
I forced a smile, even though there was nothing to be happy about.
**
My father. Lying face-down on the floor. With one hand outstretched. To me. His face was contorted in pain. Desperation. Helplessness.
My footsteps. Pounding against the concrete floor. Going as fast as they could. Wishing they could speed like an agile cheetah hunting down its prey.
Their stench. So blood-thirsty, you could smell it a mile away. So many of them. Closing in on me. Claustrophobia.
My blood. I tasted it in my mouth. Tasted the coppery bitterness. I didn't realise it came from my lip. I didn't realise it trickled from my nose. All I could think of was the taste. The taste of blood.
My body. Bent-over. Bruised. Defeated. Diseased. There was no energy left. Only numbness.
And it hurt like hell.
**
I didn't want to go for basketball practice today, but I couldn't escape from Akagi's burly frame when he showed up outside my classroom after my last period.
"Sakuragi! Where are you going?"
My face fell at the sound of his voice. Unwillingly, I turned around.
"The gym's this way, baka!"
I feigned indignance. "Who are you calling 'baka'? Don't forget you're talking to Tensai Sakuragi!"
My voice sounded way too loud to my own ears, but Akagi didn't seem to notice.
"Urusei and move along!"
**
I worked hard at maintaining my facade during practice, and I thought I did a pretty good job. It was business as usual: Rukawa ignoring my cries of "teme, kitsune!", Akagi giving me punches on the head when I made a few blunders, Mitsui trying to deflate my ego by scoring over my head, and Ryota yelling at me for ruining his passes.
Nobody suspected a thing. And I was glad. I didn't want any of them to know about the significance of today. I couldn't stand being pitied.
"Sakuragi! Catch!"
I glanced up, and saw a ball whizzing in my direction. I jumped up, caught the ball in mid-air and landed on both feet. I did a spin move around Ishii.
"I rule the post!" I yelled as I took my shot.
The ball entered the net with a small 'swish'.
"Yosha! Ore wa tensai!"
"Dream on."
"Nandatou? Teme kitsune! Watch your mouth!"
"Oi, Hanamichi! Watch your back!"
"Huh?"
Behind me, Mitsui shot a perfect three-pointer.
"Baka! I told you to mark him!"
"But Ryochin, the kitsune wasn't marking Mitchy either!"
"Do'ahou. I'm marking Akagi."
I knew that, I retorted silently while glaring at Rukawa's retreating back. I'm just playing it dumb, do'ahou.
**
I found myself alone in the locker room after taking my shower. Just as well. I wasn't in the mood for more pointless talking anyway.
Strangely, the gym was almost pitch-black when I stepped out of the locker room, save for the green exit sign that glowed brightly in the darkness. The place was empty too. Seemed like everyone had left without saying good-bye.
I sighed. It was a cold, cold night.
I hoisted my bag over my shoulder and dragged my feet across the smooth, waxy surface of the floor. Due to the darkness, I couldn't see where I was going and I accidentally stubbed my toe against one of the benches.
"Kuso," I muttered. "I can't see a goddamn thing. Those idiots. Didn't even think of leaving the lights on for -- "
My words were cut off, for all of a sudden, there was light. The entire gym was flooded with light that seeped in from seemingly every corner of the outside world. I blinked furiously, trying to adjust to the sudden burst of brightness, and at the same time trying to comprehend what was going on.
I looked wildly around me. I was standing in the middle of the gym. Which was decorated with streamers and balloons, almost as if there was going to be a party.
What was going on?
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SAKURAGI!"
Birthday...? Oh, yeah, I almost forgot. It was my birthday.
And they remembered? Those voices. Coming from behind me.
I turned around. And barely had time to react when my team-mates and friends ran towards me and practically crushed me in an over-enthusiastic display of affection.
"Our Sakuragi! All grown up!"
"Happy sweet sixteen! Does that apply to guys too?"
"We're gonna party man! It's your night, Hanamichi! Live it up!"
My mouth was slightly agape. My mind was trying to catch up but it stumbled a few times along the way. And when the situation finally hit me, I felt like I was going to cry.
"Well? Say something!"
"Whoa, is Sakuragi actually shocked into silence?"
"I..." I started. I looked at the faces before me. They were all here. Aka... no, Gori. Mitchy. Ryochin. Megane-kun. Lady Gori. Yasu. Ishii. Kuwata. Kaku. And Sasaoka.
Except for the kitsune, who stood off to one side with his arms folded across his chest.
But he was here. That counted for something to me, though I'd never admit it to his face.
"Oh my god! Is he going to cry?"
"Hey, don't cry, you're scaring me!"
I wiped a tear from the corner of my eye. I wasn't pretending anymore.
Then, I realised something.
"Argh! You all didn't shower! Oh, gross! Get away from me! Away!"
My eyes widened when I saw an evil smirk spread across Mitchy's face. He looked at Ryochin, who, suddenly, had the same smile on his face. They nodded at each other.
"Noooo! Get away! No, don't! Oh god, no! Don't touch me, I just showered for goodness sake! No! Megane-kun! Gori! Help!"
Just then, the sound of loud, obnoxious laughter drifted into my ears. It sounded familiar.
"Hahaha! Look! Hanamichi's being molested by Mitchy and Ryochin!"
Takamiya. My army's here too!
"Yohei!" I hollered. "Help me! Beat Mitchy up! Please!"
Yohei walked over to where I was, took in the sight of me being sandwiched between Mitchy and Ryochin's dirty, disgusting bodies, and burst out laughing.
It was a good five minutes before the two of them decided to release me from their evil clutches. Probably because they could no longer stand being so close to each other.
"You morons," I muttered as I distanced myself from them, but I couldn't help smiling anyway.
**
"Oi."
I felt someone tap me on the shoulder. To my absolute surprise, it was Rukawa.
"Happy birthday, all right?"
I didn't manage to get out a single word before he turned and joined the others at the food table. I stared after him in surprise.
I didn't know what to think, and it wasn't just about Rukawa's unexpected birthday greeting. It was the entire situation: the amazing amount of effort my friends -- they were all my friends -- put in just to wish me a happy birthday; the very fact that I found myself feeling much happier and hopeful from when I did hours before; and the possible implications of that fact.
I hadn't forgot about my father. But I couldn't help feeling happy anyway.
It almost made me feel guilty. But as I watched my friends -- Mitsui and Ryota wolfing down their food as though they hadn't eaten in years, Akagi discussing something intently with Kogure, Okusu and Noma fighting over a can of Coke, Takamiya poking Rukawa's sleeping face to check if he were still alive -- all negative feelings inevitably flew right out of the window.
"What're you thinking?"
I turned my head, and saw Yohei standing beside me with his usual expression of calm and collect.
I shrugged. "Nothing. I'm just... grateful. Really grateful."
Yohei smiled. "You're okay, right?"
"Yeah," I said slowly. There was an understanding between us. "I think I am."
And I was. Because I knew that my father was smiling down on me, right at that very moment.
I smiled. The world seemed pretty okay to me.
-end-
--
A/N: I'm not too comfortable
with the ending but couldn't think of any alternate ending. I took three
hours writing this thing. All thanks to Sakuragi's stupid birthday.
Hehe, kidding. Happy birthday, dear Hana-chan. You're soooo kawaii.
*sigh* Now it's obvious to everyone that I have a definite problem with writing happy stuff...ack. This is so wrong. But I spent like four hours typing the damn thing up so I'm just gonna post it.
Oi, you all got see that nice little pretty button down there a not? That says 'go'? You know what you should do? CLICK ON IT! :)
-Yelen (Hisashi's...oh, you all know)
