I am Beatrice Leep. My best friend is Roy Eberhardt. I guess we sort of became friends during the school year when Roy, my stepbrother Mullet Fingers, and I worked together to save some baby owls at a location formerly known as the Mother Paula's lot, but I guess we all really got to know each other over the summer. Roy is a totally great guy. He was the first person I called over the summer after Soccer tryouts when I found out that I was going to the be the first person at Graham High School to ever make varsity soccer as a Freshmen. When I told my dad, I got a small grunt of congratulations, but when I told Roy, I could almost see his face light up on the other end, and insisted on taking me out for ice cream to celebrate. Here I am, on the first day of high school, sitting on the edge of my bed, finally ready to admit that I'm in love with my best friend.
I let my hair down, but on a nice enough shirt, and a short-ish pair of jeans shorts, I let me hair down, and brushed it, I even put on a little make up. Since it was the first day of High School, I figured I could blame it on that, wanting to look good on day one, since I'm pretty sure Roy's moved enough that he'd understand that, he would never know that it was all for him. Since Roy's house is between my house and Graham High, we decided that I would walk over to his house, and from there we would walk together. I sighed deeply, and knocked on his door. "Hey," Roy stepped outside, tugging nervously at his backpack straps. "First day jitters you know?" I nodded. "You look nice."
"Thanks, you know, first day and all," I smiled at him.
"Oh my god, are you nervous?" Roy looked at me, one eyebrow raised.
"No, no." I lied.
"You are, admit it Beatrice, you're nervous." He goaded me.
"Alright, maybe I have some of those first day jitters or whatever you call them," I admitted, shrugging it off.
"Wow, Beatrice the Bear, nervous, who would thought."
"Hey, don't get used to it." I punched Roy, what was supposed to be playfully on the arm, but turned out a little harder then I'd intended.
"OW!" Roy said, I turned slightly pink, but thankfully, he didn't notice. He massaged his arm where I hit it.
"Sorry…" I said. I have to remember to stop causing physical pain to the guys I like.
"And apologizing? What is wrong with you?" He looked at me strangely.
"I'm just nervous, god!" And head over heels in love with you, I thought.
"Alright, I'm sorry, I'm letting this go now." He chuckled. God, I could just get lost in those clear blue eyes, but no. Jocks like me, "tough girls" don't get to loose their senses over guys, especially not pansy ass guys like Roy Eberhardt.
"Thank you," I said, leaning in to him, shoving him lightly. "Cowgirl," I threw in, for old times sake.
"Hey, I thought we'd agreed no more of that!" Roy shoved me back.
"Right, right," I said, nodding. "We moved on to Ling Ho, did we not?" I wanted to take his hand, the way I did at the pancake lot, but that just wasn't an option.
"Jesus Bea, are you sure you're alright? You look kinda sick or something." Roy looked at me, concerned.
"How many times do I have to tell you Roy? I'm fine," I tried to sound convincing. The truth was, this was the first time I'd been around Roy since I'd come to terms with my feelings, and it was more awkward then I'd initially imagined.
"Ok, consider it dropped." Roy raised his hands, feigning defeat, I walked there with him, pretending it wasn't cute.
"Thanks. God, I am SO ready for this." I said, changing the subject.
"This being…?"
"Um, high school, or did you miss the fact that that's where we're heading?"
"No, no, I know, I just…I dunno, I'm just impressed that you're so incredibly ready for this, I'm scared shitless." Roy smiled. "I mean, there's locker shoving and shit like that. Sadly enough, I'm still small enough to fit into a high school locker…"
"You'll be fine," I said, giving him what I hoped was a reassuring pat on the back. "If anyone stuff you into a locker, it's gonna be me."
"That's comforting…" Roy chuckled.
"Hey, you know I'll only stuff you in a locker if you really, really deserve." I smiled at him and laughed lightly.
"Alright then, I'll just have to work on not letting that happen." Roy nodded. "God, here we are…" he looked at the school.
"Oh come on, it's not all that scary." I tried to sound un-intimidated to impress Roy, but I'm not sure how convincing I was.
"Yes Bea, it is. It's high school, anything could happen!" Roy said.
"Anything?" I asked, dropping my guard for a few seconds. "I mean, yeah? Like what?"
"Like I dunno." Roy shrugged. "There's football, and more homework, varsity sports, I dunno, stuff happens."
"I'm sorry Roy, but I can't picture you doing any sports."
"Well, you've never seen my ride a horse or a shred a mountain on a snowboard." Roy raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah, but there is not a lot of call for those sports around here, I'm sorry Tex." Roy looked at me. "Excuse me, I'm sorry Roy."
"Thank you, but still, I'm good at them."
"Seriously, you should try skateboarding again, it was a good look on you."
"What, all of the bleeding cuts? Trust me, that was SO not my thing. It was like, hey, look at me? I'm about to fall, oh wait, I already did that 17 times, oh well, who says I can't do it again?" Roy joked around, making me laugh.
"Well, we will fine something for you to do while I'm at soccer practice." We walked on to the campus, and I heard Roy take a deep breath. "Are you ok?" I asked him, genuinely worried.
"Yeah, just nervous, I hate new schools, and the last time I started at a new one, weird shit happened."
"True, but you had that coming, if you hadn't started worrying about the running boy, then everything would have been just fine." Yeah, I wouldn't be head over heels in love with someone I can't profess my feelings for.
"Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that I met you and Mullet, I'm just not so thrilled that I got my ass whooped several times along the way."
"That is understandable." I nodded. "Well, we haven't got the same first class, so I'll see you at lunch?" I asked, wishing that we had more then one class together.
"Yeah, sure." I watched Roy walking away and sighed, looking forward not only to lunch but to Geometry, the class afterwards that we shared.
That day, and the month that followed it went the same. I crushed on Roy silently, Roy acted just as a friend. The only thing that was different was Layla, one of my best friends. Layla and I have been friends for about five years, and were normally completely honest with each other, but I had kept my thing for Roy a secret. This became unfortunately harder when Layla professed her crush on Roy. She asked me things about him, if I thought he liked her, and I lied. I said I was sure that Roy didn't like her. The truth was, it seemed as though Roy really did like her. He laughed at her jokes, he smiled when she was around, which she usually was. This made it even harder for me to come to terms with my feelings for Roy, and it made it impossible for me to tell anyone.
