"Don't take it the wrong way. My little princess Angelica means the world to me. It's just that—she watches too many cartoons. A little Angry Beavers here, a little Real Monsters there, and it all adds up. Take it from Mr. Pickles himself; I never understood the appeal of half these little children's animated programs. I mean, I grew up watching Blocky and Oxwinkle, and I don't regret it. But that show was different. It took the liberty of presenting the threatening Cold War scenario and lampooning it before our very eyes. And the serial aspect of it was brilliant too. I guess kids these days don't have the attention span to handle a show that extends its plot for multiple shows. Well, except for my precious little Angelica, that is. My hairless ratty nephew Tommy, that redheaded, bedheaded Chuckie Finster kid, even those devilish twins, identical except for their earlobes—those kids couldn't even handle The Dimstones! My, my, what a world. That's why I'm glad to be away from the California suburbs for just a couple weeks, taking a flight to some distant 'burb, as the Carmichaels call it. Nearburg, heh. Quaint name. You know, it's been quite a while since I traveled anywhere. Charlotte's always away on her business trips, going to Brunei this day and Siberia the next, but the last time I left the country was way back in November, Thanksgiving Day to be exact. I know what you're thinking, how could I not do anything for so long? I mean, 9-10 months? It is preposterous, I know that. Like I always say, the years just fly by, don't they? But this is the first time I really realized what that phrase meant. And once you have that inevitable epiphany, it's heartbreaking, y'know?" Drew paused to take a gulp of Yahoo Soda before boarding his flight.
"Dude, I, like, thought that guy was, like, talking to me, or something!" exclaimed airport security guard Larry to his life partner Steve. Both men had been walking with Drew for the duration of his rant.
"Yeah, but then, like, he totally wasn't! He was, uh, talking to himself! Weird dude, right?" asked Steve.
