Title: On a Dark Beach
Chapter: 1 of 2
By RubyD
Pairing: SoraxRiku
Rating and warnings: Part 1 is PG-13, part 2 will be a hard R and will have adult content. Fic notes at the end.
Summary: Together on a lonely stretch of sand, Sora and Riku try to find some closure near the end of the game.
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On a Dark Beach
Sitting in the dark sands of a dark beach, Sora doesn't have to wait long before the conversation he'd been expecting ever since waking up in the mansion, and found that everyone had gone and grown up without him. He digs a shallow tunnel in the ground with his big shoes, drowning his senses in the sound of waves. They do sound the same, and if he closed his eyes he could almost believe they were just camping out back on the island.
"I'm sorry," Riku says carefully, breaking the illusion. His voice is quiet and heavy.
Sora looks at him, but Riku is turned away, hiding his face in that veil of hair. "It wasn't your fault," the Keyblade Master answers, maybe a little too quickly.
That head of white shook. "I opened the door."
"Any one of us would have opened the door if it gave us the chance. Even I would."
"You don't know that."
"We were kids. You did your best," he says, stern.
The silence that follows is short, and tense. Riku's the one to break it again.
"I tried to hurt you."
"Riku…"
"Shut up. I hurt you, and Kairi, and all those people on those worlds –"
"No, it wasn't you –" Sora insists.
"Sora, it was me!" he shouts. He tries to stand, hoping that added height would emphasis his words.
"Riku, sit down, you're hurt –"
He keeps talking. "I betrayed you, I… I tried to kill you. I opened that door, I accepted the darkness, and didn't care what happened to our world or to anyone! And then, damn it, and then after Castle Oblivion? I forgot about it. About everything, and anything that had anything to do with you. You're my whole life, Sora. And then I forgot."
"You… you were made to forget," Sora says uncertainly. He's shocked by his friend's outburst. "Leon and the others… they forgot too."
"But they still had their other lives. They had their home, their friends, and their world. I wandered in darkness for a long time, trying to figure out why I was out there, why I wasn't home, why I couldn't go home. But what is worse… is when I remembered again." There's a hitch in his voice. He'd always been aloof, even prideful, but now…
"Riku…" Sora stares up at his friend, not able to move as he frantically went on.
"I tried so hard to piece it together, to bring you back, and bring your Nobody back, and then I started to remember again – all the things I did, and tried to do."
"Riku, look at me."
"Saw it with new eyes. Saw what kind of person I was, that I am. I should have been better, stronger! I...!"
"Riku, look at me, damn you. RIKU!" he snaps, scared for him. He can feel his heart pounding, as if trying to escape. "We can't all be strong all the time, okay? You were a kid, I was a kid, we were all just kids - and maybe we still are, kind of. But you can't blame yourself for everything. I could have been better, too!"
It was Riku's turn to stare, unmoving.
Sora takes a deep breath. "I shouldn't have made you think that I… that I didn't want you around, because I did. I've always wanted you there with me! You, me, and Kairi, we were supposed to go off on the raft and travel the worlds together, but things happened. Things will always happen, that's how life is. But I didn't think even once that you weren't my best friend. I was mad at you a lot and it did hurt for a while – but you're still my best friend, Riku. You've always been that."
He stops, breathing deep at the rush he feels. They don't do anything but just look at each other while he collects himself.
"So I'm sorry, too," Sora finishes.
"Sora…"
"Yeah?"
"You don't get to say that." He's shaking his head.
"Riku?"
"No, you're not allowed because… because…"
"Riku…"
"I am so… so sorry," Riku says, almost angry, like he has been choking to get the words out for half his life. With little warning a sob fights its way forward, and he tries to swallow it but fails miserably. He seemed mortified at himself, at the crack in his shell. "For everything. I can't stop feeling – God, Sora, I…I'm - !"
Too weak to stay standing any longer, he gives in and stumbles to his knees and Sora rises to catch him. He holds him – they hold each other. Like a dam breaking after keeping back for so long, Riku's voice hitches and there's a low, pained sound. He's crying. It begins with a slow trickle, but soon he's crying like he never has before. This, Sora thinks, is probably true. Riku hasn't cried since he was four.
Between the shaking and the harsh gasps for breath are broken bits of I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry.
But between each of those, Sora can finally say I forgive you and I'm sorry, too.
---
Hours pass, or maybe days. Sora doesn't really know. It's a land of constant nightfall.
They were on a dark beach but a beach none the less, if rather once-removed from the familiar warm island where they use to run and play and build fragile kingdoms on. It might help explain why he feels so childish right then. He isn't a kid anymore, but he can still feel childish, and just a bit shy. Perhaps he has the right to, after having to grow up so fast.
He thinks the look that must be on his face is mirrored on the taller boy's, if not more so. Sora stares at Riku – Riku's nose, Riku's dried eyes, Riku's hair and mouth – feeling his head inch ever so cautiously forward. He breathes the air between them with tense little swallows, and tries to quash the flutter of nervousness in his stomach. It's the feeling he gets before taking a leap off a high platform, even though he knows the fall (the float, the glide) will be fun… even exhilarating. This is the moment before something happens – he doesn't know what's going to happen, exactly, only that something will and it will be big and full of changes for the both of them.
A whole new world, he thinks, dryly.
Riku breaks the silence first, again. "Sora, can I –"
Sora anticipates the question, and leans forward into him, mouth pressing to mouth mid-sentence. He must have guessed right, because Riku kisses back, and tugs their bodies together like when they were holding, but this time it was for a different kind of need. Strong fingers work through Sora's hair, and he answers by grabbing Riku's shoulders.
Then, they separate. His friend's eyes have that look in them – wide-eyed and daring to hope, but cautious and shadowed with haunted thoughts. Those eyes stare at Sora like he would turn into the black sands they sat on and drift away with the tide. Like this was all a dream about to turn bad and he'd wake up, cold and empty.
"Riku?" Sora asks, closing his own eyes and leaning back in to touch foreheads. He's only starting to get used to seeing his friend like this – stronger, taller, older, but more vulnerable, less cocky and arrogant. Different. A lot of things happened while Sora was asleep.
"Your light," Riku tries to explain, hesitant, "it's so bright that sometimes… sometimes I can't see my own." He shuts his mouth and turns his head a little, embarrassed by the confession.
"It's there," Sora insists, his smile audible from his tone. "I know it, everyone knows it. You fought for us. You saved us and the worlds out there."
"No, you saved them," Riku answers, with a little snort.
He laughs. "All right, how 'bout we say we both did?" He could settle with a happy medium.
"If you insist…"
They kiss again. Things changed, but – as Sora realized – he'd always felt the same way for Riku, and they'd both fight to the ends of the world for each other.
"Sora…" Riku starts, "Are you – I mean, are we…?"
"Are we ready?" he asks for him. "I think we are. Nothing's stopping us. There's no one here but me and you."
His friend gives a wordless nod. "I guess we should, uh…"
"It's not that cold." Sora smiles as he slips off his jacket with a shrug.
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To be continued.
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Notes: I originally posted this to Livejournal under my at-the-time secret fanfic LJ alias unlocke. I've made some minor edits, and finally decided to post this to FF.N. I hope you've enjoyed! Thanks for reading.
