This is completely frivolous smut for the sake of smut. Adult material ahead, you have been warned. Plus, no spoilers.

This will be the first of three parts. Part two is nearly done, three is... underway.


At first, he thought he'd fucked up - Beckett looked as though she was torn between shooting him between the eyes and kicking him in the crotch. But then, she ducked her head, blushed, and glanced up at him with a sly smile.

"Castle, you shouldn't have..." she stammered out.

"Anything for the Birthday Girl," Castle replied with a chivalrous bow.

Behind them, the darkened club was bustling with activity. Flashing lights, pitchers of beer and nearly naked men and women serving it up to the crowd of cops from the 12th precinct as urban dance music pulsed out through the speakers, the base keeping a thumping rhythm.

"You know, most girls would be insulted," Beckett complained. "I still might be. I mean, strippers? Seriously, Castle, sometimes..."

But despite her protests, she was still smiling. "Well, if I thought you were the glitter and unicorns type, I would have made Princess Ponyland. But for some reason, I thought you might like something a little less... tame after I got a little insight from Lanie. Chippendales for you, women for the guys…" he pointed out, loving the eye roll she gave him then. "And hopefully you'll appreciate me for this..."

Pulling his hands out from behind his back with a flourish, he bowed as he passed her the black garment bag. She was still dressed in a stylish, but conservative maroon button up and a leather jacket from work, though she had put on a skirt and those delicious knee high fuck me black boots that he loved. It was very Beckett, but he hoped that the outfit in the bag would help her get in the appropriate party mood.

Beckett took the garment bag suspiciously, holding it in front of her. "What's in here? Wait, don't tell me… you bought me a princess dress," she retorted, smirking.

"Open it," Castle replied, his eagerness getting ahead of him as he bounced up on his toes.

She bit her lip, looking every bit a tease as she slowly dragged down the zipper, her eyes flashing up at him as she realized what the bag contained.

"Like it?"

"I-" her voice caught and she licked her lips, searching for the right words. But he didn't let her continue, reaching out to put a finger on her lips to silence her.

"Shhhh. Just go put it on," Castle encouraged, gesturing towards the restroom just beyond a caramel-skinned brunette who was giving Esposito a close up view of her gold g-string.

To Castle's delight, she paused only a moment, glancing around her party before scooping the bag over her arm and sauntering towards the restroom. Halfway there, she turned to look back at him, her lips curled into a smile that dared him to follow her. The lights flashed in her eyes, illuminating the obvious bemusement that lurked there. His mouth gaped open in shock, which apparently pleased her. A smirk took over as she raked her eyes over his body and then lifted up her hand to wave him towards her.

Definitely not a fuck up, he decided, realizing too late that he was hard as hell. Before he even made the decision, he was following her, still slack jawed, oblivious to the noisy crowd of cops around him.

Once they were in the hallway, Beckett took his hand and hauled him against the restroom door. "If you're going to buy me clothes, you might as well help me put them on." He tried to speak, trapped between Beckett and the door, her face leaning in towards him until it disappeared, her lips landing a breath away from his ear. Her free hand suddenly landed on his thigh, sliding over his near-painful erecting before sliding up his chest to take a fistful of his shirt as she whispered, "And I'm gonna need a lot of help."

The whimper that came out then was beyond his control. Her lips were brushing against his ear, his face was burning hot and all he could think about was the press of her badge against his hips and the hot, teasing memory of Beckett's fingers touching his cock as she inhaled deeply into his neck. His hands lifted, determined to touch her, but he was too late.

Before he could do a damn thing, the door behind him opened and he fell flat on his back. He hit hard, his head cracking on the floor. As he lifted himself up, he realized that she had pushed open the door and was now laughing at his predicament.

"You..." he stammered, looking up at her as she stepped past him into the restroom. She had been screwing with him. He knew she loved to tease. Rolling over, he managed to get back up on his feet, watching as she draped the garment bag over the stall door. With a quick tug, she loosened her hair from the ponytail that had been containing it and shook loose the cascade of brunette curls. "You were teasing me?" He nearly squeaked the words out as she turned to face the mirror across from the two small stalls.

She rolled her eyes at him once more before instructing. "Close the door and maybe you'll find out, Castle.."

Leaning against the sink with one hand, she used the other to toss her curls a bit, frowning and pouting at herself in the mirror. He couldn't look away, and blindly closed the bathroom door behind him. As soon as the door snicked shut, she chuckled, appraising herself in the mirror as she added, "Don't forget to lock it."

His fingers shook as he turned the deadbolt on the door. This might be her birthday, but he sure felt like this was one of his more torrid fantasies. Not that he was complaining. Definitely not complaining.

"You know, if you're a good boy, I might even let you sit in when you buy me a lap dance from one of the girls. I do hope you found at least one blonde…" she teased, turning away from the mirror and scooting to sit on the sink counter in front of it, her legs swinging. He tried hard not to pant at the sight of her – the teasing eyes, knowing grin, and that hair that screamed "freshly fucked" – none of which was helped by the thought of her pressing her body against the blond stripper named "Bambi" who he knew to be parading around in little more than fairy wings.

"Stop staring, Castle, and get to work. Maybe start with these…?" Beckett kicked out on high-heeled boot clad foot toward him. Who was he to deny her? He shuffled towards her, gasping as she ran the toe of the knee high leather boot along his thigh, letting the sole press against his erection until he got it together enough to use his hands. "You could get down on your knees for this…"

And he did. Kneeling down, he caressed the soft, supple leather that he'd stared at so many times. Leaning in, he pressed his cheek to her calf, trying to calm the demanding arousal that was coursing through him. He had no idea why Beckett was playing along tonight, but he was going to take it as far as she let him, even if it meant going home to the longest, coldest shower he'd ever had in his life.

But apparently Beckett was not in the savoring kind of mood – as the pointed heel poking into his chest seemed to prove. Gasping in surprise, he looked up to find her smirking. "Come on, writer boy. Get to work. I've got a party attend, naked blondes to make out with… I can't wait all day."

Groaning at her suggestion, he sucked in his lips, straining to contain the urge to rip her clothes off and fuck her right there. But this was her birthday, her game, and he definitely wanted to be allowed to play. His hands fumbled and searched for a way to remove the boot, finally finding a concealed zipper on the inside of her calf, and managed to drag it down, peeling off the tight leather. The other one went faster, earning him a soft pat on the cheek and a bit of praise. "Atta boy. Now scoot out of my way so I can get down and we can get on with it."

Obediently, he got up on his feet, his knees aching. He couldn't look away as she slid off the counter, her stocking clad feet holding her on tiptoe. As she spun around towards her garment bag, he expected her to scoop it up and disappear into one of the stalls. To his surprise, she leaned in and planted a lingering kiss on his cheek, her fingertips pressing into his chest, arousal flashing in her lovely green eyes.

He was about to grab hold of her when she vaulted herself back, her lower lip tightly snatched between her teeth. She caught his eye, and purposefully dragged her gaze downward over his body, only to land on the floor with a disdainful glare. Lifting a toe, she looked back up to his face, raising an eyebrow in suggestion.

Without a word, he slipped off his jacket, spreading it on the floor, not really certain how he'd known what she was expecting. Instantly she stepped onto it, aligning her body with his. Then her chin was tilting upward until she could slant her lips against his slack ones. He tried to press the move into a kiss, but she wouldn't allow it, chuckling as she held her lips against his with only the barest of contact. He could smell the sweetness of whatever cherry product she used mixing with coffee and something ever so slightly floral, every bit as complicated as the woman in front of him.

She didn't tell him what to do next, just drew back from the almost-kiss and waited expectantly, hands resting casually on her hips. Closing his eyes for a moment, he gathered his reserve and lifted his hands to her shoulders, slipping his hands under her jacket, dragging it outward until it fell from her shoulders, her hands dropping to allow it to go. The buttons were next – tiny, shiny little buttons that popped easily open – which he did carefully, not wanting to upset her by ruining her blouse. As he tugged loose the blouse from her simple gray and black plaid skirt, he immediately was distracted by the sight of her bra, appearing between the parted fabric. His fingers fumbled with the last few buttons as he struggled to not grind into her, his cock throbbing, near desperate to fuck her senseless, to bury his face between her tits and leaving a hickey there.

He was so enthralled by the freshly revealed skin that he didn't even notice when she suddenly grabbed hold of his earlobe, tugging his face up to hers, pain shooting through his skin and nearly doubling him over. He whimpered in protest, but she refused to relent. "Listen you, I brought you in here to help me change. Not to ogle my tits. There will be time for that later…"

Her fingers released and he gulped in a breath. "Later?"

"Later," she promised, her eyes dancing as she leaned in, pressing an actual kiss to his lips. Brief though it was, it re-enflamed whatever desire might have been squelched by her aggressive move.

"Then let's get you changed," he said, trying to focus a little harder as she spun around with a grin. Running his hands up her arms, he took the opportunity to bury his nose in her hair, drinking in the delicious scent of her as his hands drew the blouse off her shoulders, then skimmed it off her wrists. He wanted to linger, memorize the soft planes of her skin as he took in the sight of her back. But he managed to direct his hands downward, zeroing in on the zipper to her skirt and tugging it free. Once the skirt was pooled at her ankles, she stepped out of it.

Her panties were the same black, silky fabric as her bra, cut like a pair of booty shorts with a delicate lace edge around the seams. She was definitely better than his fantasies. Faced with her lean, muscular body, all that creamy skin framed only in shiny black fabric, he couldn't stop himself from pressing against her, his cock cradling against her tight ass as he wrapped his arms around her waist, splaying his hands out over her flat stomach as he brought his lips to her neck. He knew that she approved when he heard the strangled moan that fluttered from her mouth as he teased his fingers higher, his thumbs brushing against her tits through her bra.

But he was still worrying that he might be in trouble until she felt her hips rock back against him as he began to suck lightly against the side of her neck. Her little moan morphed into words, and he knew he was definitely doing his part to please the Birthday Girl. "It's later, Castle."

It seemed a bit much, but he growled at those words, leaping at the permission they granted him. His hands rose higher, clutching her tits through the bra, fingers seeking her nipples as she tilted her head, tossing her hair aside to give him full access to the silken skin of her neck. He nipped and sucked at the tight muscles there, soothing each sharp move with a lap of his tongue. As his ministrations found their way to the underside of her jaw, she gasped, swinging around and, in a split second, she had pinned him against the stall door. He hit hard, the shock jolting through him and he gaped at her, deeply thrilled by the aggressive excitement could feel in her posture.

Tilting her head up to look at him, he felt her fingers creeping up his thigh, making their move. He gasped and squirmed in a not-so-manly way as those fingers flattened over her cock through his pants, then slowly contracted until they were molded around it, then squeezing until he was certain he was going to cum right there. "If you weren't the Birthday Girl…" he grumbled, allowing her slow torture as he sought to weave his fingers into her hair.

"If I weren't the Birthday Girl, what, Castle? You'd make me stop? Something tells me that you really don't want me to stop…" One of her fingers curled around the tip of his cock, dragging the fabric back and forth until it twitched in response, dragging a groaning roar from his lips. "Just as I thought."

With that, she stepped back. There it was again, that teasing smirk and he was certain he was a dead man. While he now knew for certain that she wasn't armed, he knew there were at least a dozen other ways that Kate Beckett could kill him silently where he stood.

Laughter spilled from her lips and he glanced around, confused. "Oh, Castle, you're priceless. Do you really think I'd get you all worked up just to leave you hanging? Sometimes I wonder what's in that thick skull of yours…" Her eyes softened slightly and she reached up, giving his chin a gentle nudge with her fingertips to close his mouth, then dragged them back down along her chest, hooking them into his belt and tugging gently. "As much as I'd love to strip you down right here, with the amount of beer you're serving out there, it might be time to move things along before we run out of time... But I promise," she said, her voice deepening as she met his eye, "We'll get around toeverything."

"Everything?" he stammered, groaning as her fingers quickly began unbuckling his belt.

"Everything…" she whispered, nipping at her lower lip as her eyes ducked downward, seemingly shy for the first time since entering the restroom. The blush spread from her cheeks down across her chest as her fingers worked open his slacks, then dipped inside to withdraw his cock. Her touch felt like heaven and he felt his hands grappling unconsciously for something to hold on to. As her hand encircled the base of his cock, her eyes lifted back up to his. "For now, I just need a taste. And you need a little… reward if you're going to be able to handle this Birthday Girl."

Before he could even process what she was saying, she was dropping down on her knees and his cock was disappearing into her mouth. Everything faded and he couldn't form a single coherent word as she teased her tongue against the head of his cock, strong, callused fingers stroking him. His hips jerked impatiently, wanting more, but she was deceptively strong, slamming his hips back against the bathroom stall, holding him exactly where she wanted him.

He couldn't look away, watching as her lips began sliding up and down on his cock, framed by her luscious curls. His fingers tingled and he couldn't stop himself from sinking them into her silky locks, tangling into them as her mouth set him on fire. She moved fast, using her fingers and lips to urge him on – dragging back to the tips with slow, tight wetness that made him think of all those times he'd watched her wrap her lips over the mouth of bottle. When he came, it was almost a surprise, the orgasm slipping through him with a jerking, heavy heat. It was all he could do to gasp and helplessly pant her name like a desperate idiot. Her mouth kept moving, swallowing his cum as she eased off the intensity, refusing to pull back until his body relaxed, his fingers dragging slow, stroking lines into her hair.

He wondered if he should feel guilty as she got to her feet. Wondered how he could repay her for fulfilling one of his favorite "Ways to Fuck Beckett" scenes. .. Though he'd never imagined the first time would be a shabby little women's restroom in the back of night club.

But before he could gather the wherewithal to put any thoughts into action, she was tucking his cock back into his pants, zipping him up, and sealing the deal by closing the buckle of his belt. When she was done, she met his eyes. "Don't worry, you're gonna pay for that later."

"Later…?"

"Later," she mimicked, licking her lips with a cocky grin. She held his gaze as she came closer, seemingly for a kiss. But her arm reached up, dragged the garment bag off the door and then stepped back, holding it out for him to take. "Come on, Castle. Dress me up."

She waggled her hips as he took the garment bag. He had to shake his head to skip past all of the "Oh my god, Beckett just sucked my cock" thoughts before he could unzip the bag, pulling out the jade green dress he had picked out for her. He turned, tossing the garment bag back over the door, only to turn around and find her zipping the boots back onto her legs. "C'mon, Castle, catch up. You still owe me a stripper…"