The Authors Rant
With input from your favorite marauding troublemakers
Yvonne: Hello everyone! This is Yvonne Park, author of Harry Potter fanfictions, and a huge fan of Harry Potter. I'm here with some of my favorite characters to talk about a few things I find pretty important.
Sirius: Like me!
James: Padfoot, why would she possibly want to have a whole conversation about you?
Sirius: Because I'm awesome. Duh.
Remus: Sirius, stop sticking your tongue out at James. This is supposed to be a serio….I mean thought provoking conversation.
Sirius: Hah! You were going to say serious! See it is about me!
Yvonne: Guys, please, can we stick to the topic here.
James: What was the topic again? Sirius made me forget.
Yvonne: I wanted to bring up polite etiquette when reading stories here on .
Remus: These stories about us?
Yvonne: Yep! Most of the stories I write are about you guys.
Sirius: Because we are obviously the best characters.
Yvonne: Well you three are my favorites! I think most of the world likes Harry and Ginny better though.
Sirius: Lame! We are totally the best!
James: But my son saved the world! He's awesome!
Sirius: You haven't even met him! We're seventh years! He hasn't even been thought of yet in the real world! The only reason you know about him is because when we're here we're kinda omniscient.
Remus: I think it's more of a fictional out of story experience. That's why we can have this nice conversation with the author.
Yvonne: Okay guys, off topic again. And just don't try to think about the dimensions of this conversation. Let's just get our message across.
James: Then have at it miss Author!
Yvonne: Thank you James. What I really wanted to talk about was comments. Commenting on stories.
Remus: Do you not like what people are saying?
Yvonne: No, that's not it. I'm fine with any comments, whether good or bad. But it is really depressing for an author to work so hard on a story, and yet when they post it, nobody comments. Not one comment about anything! It is very discouraging.
Sirius: It's like how we feel when nobody laughs at our pranks.
Yvonne: Exactly. I always make it a point to comment on every story I read. Whether it's suggestions for improvement, or praise for good writing, it really helps every author feel more confident about their writing. If you like what you see, tell them! Let them know you liked it, and they will write more like it. If you didn't like how they did something, tell them! Maybe they will change it so you will like it better.
Sirius: Nobody will ever have to make improvements on me! I am perfect! Ow! What was that for!
James: I was trying to figure out if there was some way to deflate your head.
Sirius: You messed up my hair.
Yvonne: Sirius, I'll fix your hair, calm down. Anyway! I want to share an experience about our topic. I recently wrote a story that I was really happy about how it turned out. I worked really hard on it, even though it was just a one-shot. When I posted it, I eagerly waited for the comments. Authors love comments. To us it's almost like sugar, or a hug from the person we like. It makes us happy and seriously improves our mood for the whole day. I got one comment on that story. From my mom. Sad right? Even though I got about 10 favorites, not one of those people told me how they liked it. Getting favorites is nice and all, but it's just not the same as getting a comment.
Sirius: I was awesome in that story by the way! People are lame! They could just get on and tell you about how awesome I am. Would that work?
Yvonne: Totally! That would make me laugh. You are definitely one of my favorites to write.
Sirius: See, I'm the favorite!
Remus: I believe she said one of.
Sirius: Shut up.
James: And I finally got together with Lily in that story! And I didn't even have to convince her to like me this time! It was awesome!
Yvonne: Yeah, I liked that story. But now that nobody commented, I feel kind of weary about posting another one. What if nobody likes that one either?
Sirius: It will be about us right?
Yvonne: Of course. I'm a Marauders Era writer all the way! With a few exceptions.
James: Like those stories about my son and his wife? Those are more popular than our stories, aren't they?
Yvonne: Yeah, for some reason you guys are very under appreciated.
Sirius: That's terrible!
Remus: But if you wrote more of those, you would get more comments, wouldn't you?
Yvonne: Possibly. But that's not going to stop me from writing about you guys! What kills me is when I look at my story stats and I see that over two thousand people have read my story, and five have commented.
James: Goodness people! Go comment! Just click the comment button and say 'James is Awesome!' And presto! You've just encouraged the author to keep writing! It's like magic!
Sirius: Actually, this computer thing we're stuck in is pretty magical. It can do so much! It's frying my brain.
Remus: Oh great. I don't think he needs any more help in that department.
Yvonne: Oh! Also, don't kill authors because we take so long updating stories. Our lives have a lot more in them that is much more important than writing, no matter how much we would like to think otherwise. Like me, I'm in college, and that takes up most of my time. Sorry I only update my stories once every few months. Homework has to come first. A lot of money has gone into college, and as much as I wish it was different, I don't get paid to write on here.
Sirius: Plus it takes her a long time to capture my stunning looks perfectly.
James: We forgive you Yvonne, even if we are stuck in the same scene for a few months. I mean, right now in your 'Hearts Knit Together' story, I've been stuck pressing my face up against a window for a couple months.
Yvonne: Yeah….sorry about that. The next chapter actually gets you moving, so you'll be okay. I actually finished that chapter too! I'll probably post it on…Friday. After my presentation is over.
Remus: Am I in the next chapter? I was kind of having fun where I was.
Yvonne: Yeah…you're in the next one for about a paragraph. This next chapter is more about the other guys.
Remus: Oh that's okay. At least I'm still having fun.
Yvonne: …..Yeah…..
Remus: What does that mean!
Yvonne: I think it's time to start wrapping this rant up!
Sirius: What happens?
Yvonne: I can't tell you that. You guys have to live it!
James: Am I the only one who is feeling kinda scared right now?
Remus: And realized that this girl has complete control of our lives?
Sirius: James! Hold me!
James: Get off Padfoot!
Yvonne: Oh well! Till next time! Thanks for helping me let off some steam! And I'd like to thank the Marauders for putting up with me.
James: Should we run?
Remus: Yeah…let's run.
Sirius: Beauty before…..you guys!
Yvonne: Oh come on, you guys are going to have so much fun! Muahahahaha! (Can you tell finals are coming up? I think I'm going crazy)
James: Run away!
Remus: Right behind you!
Sirius: You punks locked me in!
James (muffled behind the door): Sorry man. Brains before beauty!
Sirius: Noooooooo!
Yvonne: See you guys later! :)
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
