Well hey there guys! This is a little idea that popped into my head a few days back. It's just a quick one-shot but it's a comedy. I've workd rather hard on it and if I'm right (which I hope I am) then it's hiliarious..if I'm at all funny..Anyway..it is a naughty in places, there is a lot of swearing and some sexual references so if that bothers you I suggest you go back now, but if your like me, easily amused and not so easily offended then read on, after all it is just a bit of fun.
Please review and tell me what you think please..please..please..pretty please?
Dinner at the son's
Chi-chi hummed pleasantly to herself as she placed another huge dish onto the dining table. She loved nothing more than to cook so was therefore hosting a well over due dinner party. An opportunity to try out some new recipes and cook a monumental feast fit for five saiyans.
"Mmm Chi-chi this smells awesome!" Goku exclaimed his stomach rumbling loudly as the scent of all his favourite dishes filled his nose. Using his incredible speed he phased over to the table his hand reaching out for a rib.
BAM! "OW!!" Chi-chi smirked proudly arms thrown into the air in victory, in her hand she held her magnificent weapon of choice, a very worn in frying pan with noticeable dints and scratches reminiscent of many saiyan head bashings.
He could still feel the pain of every hit ever rained down on him. Could practically feel brain cells dying every time it collided with such force. He had become noticeably denser over the years..
Lowering her arms she licked the tip of her finger and pressed it to her chest making an audible hissing sound as though she was on fire and she'd just put herself out. Goku rubbed the forming lump on his head and groaned. "I just wanted a little bit.." He lowered his lip and produced the best puppy dog eye's he could muster.
Chi-chi stood strong and raised her weapon once more. "If you touch that food again Goku I swear the next hit will knock you out!" She threatened her eye's dancing wildly.
Goku swallowed hard. He knew better than to challenge her. He was one of the strongest beings in the universe but somehow..someway..unbeknown to him in the hands of his wife that damn frying pan was a weapon of mass destruction. He gave in with a loud sigh and began stalking from the room. "Her hits are getting harder.." He mumbled to himself wincing in pain.
Chi-chi growled. "Damn straight!" She called back. Goku sweat-dropped and fled the room in an instant.
Over at Capsule Corp…
"Vegeta!!!" The saiyan prince clutched his ringing head in pain.
"Blast you women! I'm standing right beside you do you have to shout!?" He yelled back in anger. Bulma smirked and grabbed her husbands ear tightly dragging him across the bedroom before she stopped grabbed the hanger from the dresser and shoved the tux into his chest.
"Put. It. On" She whispered into his ear, her words dripping like venom. Vegeta's blood ran cold and he nodded vigorously. "Hi ho silver..away!!" Bulma cried giving Vegeta a harsh slap to the ass. Vegeta gave a little eep! jumped up in surprise, his little legs darting towards the bathroom for all he was worth.
Once inside he scowled and tossed his tux aside, his arms folding across his chest in his usual proud stance. He'd fought for hours with her over this damn dinner party. When she'd asked of course he'd refused to go but she'd not relented.
She'd hit him with everything she had. Over powered him. No sex, no food, no gravity room and worst of all she had threatened to cut off his subscription to playboy. "Damn banshee" He muttered eyeing his tux with distaste.
"I heard that Vegeta!" Came a cry from behind the door. Vegeta's heart fell into his ass. "You'd better be getting dressed in there!" She added and immediately he jumped to attention and undressed in record time. Picking up his attire his face screwed up. If it wasn't bad enough he had to dress like a human, Bulma had the worst taste for colours. The tux was a lurid green colour much like the shade of piccolo. The dress shirt she'd picked with it was yellow with ruffles on the front.
He felt his pride fly through the window and groaned inwardly as he began dressing himself.
On the other side of the building the son of Vegeta wore the same look of contempt as he eyed himself in the mirror. "This is humiliating.." He breathed blushing as his reflection. He was wearing a pair of blue dungaree's which cut of just above his knee's, the shirt underneath bore the words. "I'm Mommy's Special Boy" In bold letters. Around the lettering were pictures of love hearts and fluffy kitten's.
Shaking his head in disbelief he snatched the matching blue buree and placed it atop his head. "I'm am the king of all dorks. If I'm lucky tonight somebody will kill me.."
"Aww don't you just look precious!" Came a sickly sweet voice from behind him.
"Mom.." He whined. "I look like an ass-
SMACK! Bulma slapped him upside the head and wagged her finger in distaste. "Watch your language young man! You will wear that outfit and you will like it, do you hear me!?" She ordered and Trunks albeit reluctantly complied.
Dende..please..spare me.. He begged.
The party starts..
Much like the Brief's Chi-chi had also picked out the fugliest outfits she could find and had forced her son's and husband to wear them for the party.
Gohan and Goku both hung their heads in shame while Goten pranced about the room proudly a gleeful smile kissing his lips. "Mom this is the coolest outfit ever! Wow thanks!" He exclaimed clutching his braces with his thumbs he pulled them out slightly and let them smack back against his chest with a proud smile.
Chi-chi patted her youngest son on the head. "Your just the cutest little thing.." She cooed. Before she could finished adoring Goten the doorbell rang and her eye's widened in delight. She clasped her hands together. "They're here, they're here..quick Gohan get the door!" She ordered rushing back into the kitchen to put the finishing touches on her meal.
Gohan blinked a few times before rushing to the door to let their guests in, hoping and praying with all his being that by some divine miracle Videl could not make it to this party. She'd seen enough of the family than anybody could cope with and still say sane, and he needed to keep her on his good side. To save his secret.
Bracing for laughter he opened the door slowly, peering round. His eye's almost bugged, the laughter started in his belly then worked it's way up into his throat where he tried to contain it but against his will it spilled from his lips and soon enough he was rolling about the floor in fits clutching his stomach. "Oh..oh..dende…Vegeta..you..what.." Tears fell from his eye's.
Behind the door Vegeta growled loudly. "Stupid baka spawn of a third class retard!" He grumbled angrily entering the house making sure to give Gohan a swift kick up the ass as the stepped over the younger saiyan who was currently blue in the face with laughter.
Trunks stepped in after his father and peered down at Gohan. "Umm Gohan?"
"Y..Y..yes…Mommy's boy!?" He asked wide eyed in amusement.
Trunks smirked. "Pull my finger?"
Gohan lifted a questioning eyebrow but shrugged and pulled the finger anyway. Trunks snickered and turned full circle his ass pointed in the direction of Gohan's open mouth. Paaarrrp..
Gohan's eyes widened akin to the size of saucers and his face turned a pale shade of green. He gasped for air and clawed about wildly as he tried to breathe. "Arrghhh…cabbage…arrghhhh…" He cried army crawling towards the door and drew in a deep breath in an attempt to clear his lungs.
"How is it Gohan?" Trunks asked eagerly. Gohan looked up and opened his mouth to speak but no words came out he just continued to pull disgusted faces and heave on the doorstep. "Alright! It's a taster!!" He added and Vegeta proudly high fived his son.
"Son's: None, Brief's: One!" Vegeta poked out his tongue and stuck his fingers in his ears and began dancing on his tip-toe's around Gohan who was still writhing on the floor from Trunk's toxic fart. "Death by flatulence mawahahahaha!"
Seeing his chance Gohan shifted onto his back and swung his leg round catching Vegeta off guard who came crashing to the floor on his back his head hitting the wood with a loud CRACK.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ALL DOING!?" Everybody looked up in horror to see Chi-chi come flying from the kitchen frying pan of doom clutched tightly in one hand, in the other a large butcher's knife. "ARE YOU TRYING TO DESTROY MY HOUSE!? YOU ANIMALS! GET INTO THE LIVING ROOM WITH THE OTHERS NOW AND BEHAVE!!"
Vegeta, Trunks and Gohan jumped to attention and coward under Chi-chi's death glares. Bulma laughed to herself and snuck away into the kitchen as the others got an almighty ear-bashing. "I'm sorry mom.." Gohan sighed and all three saiyan's sauntered into the front room to join Goku and Goten.
Vegeta was the first to race to the empty spot on the couch and steal the remote control from Goku's grip. "Hey!" Goku whined crossing his arms over his chest to sulk.
Vegeta glared at him darkly and growled. "Shut it idiot. Goldenballs in on (British game show)" He flicked to the desired channel and sat back in his seat in time to see the contestant's reveal the amounts of money in there first two golden balls.
Trunks had plonked himself on the floor beside Goten who he was now repeatedly poking in the side to get his attention. Goten frowned and whirled round. "Whaaatt?"
"You wanna play hide and go seek?" He asked. Goten's eye's widened and he nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah yeah!" He called jumping to his feet. "You hide! I'll go seek!".
Trunk's nodded waiting for the younger saiyan to turn his back so he could make a mad dash for a good hiding place. "Moron.." He snickered flying up the stairs. "Hmm..where to hide?.." He pondered tapping his finger against his chin. Ah the master bedroom.. He thought quietly sneaking into Chi-chi and Goku's room.
He scanned the room with wide interested eye's. Under the bed?..nah to obvious..oo oo in the wardrobe Goten's so stupid he'll never think to look in there! With a devious glint in his eye Trunks peered around the room one last time before diving into the wardrobe quietly pulling the door to as he did. Gosh it's dark in here..He lit his ki slightly just enough to emit a small amount of light in the darkened wardrobe.
What he saw made him gasp in shock.
"1, 2 miss a few 99 a hundred! Ready or not here I come!" Goten called leaving his little space against the wall so he could begin his search for Trunks.
After a short time of looking under chairs and searching through the kitchen cupboards (which earned him two belts round the head with the frying Pan for being a nuisance) Goten began to scratch his head. "Well where could he-" Trunks' ki suddenly shot up cutting his words short.
With a wide smirk Goten rocketed from the room and shot up the stairs a wide smile on his face as he followed Trunks energy signal, it came from his parents room.
Trunks had to blink a few times. "Wow Goten's parents must be really weird.." He mused holding a long black leather whip before his face. That wasn't the only thing he'd found, there were also fluffy handcuffs, something he thought looked like a long beaded necklace although which didn't clasp together and went from big to small, and different tubes of various labelled liquids such as tingle, play and heat.
Scratching his head in confusion he climbed from the wardrobe and held the door open before him eye's still locked onto the various different 'toys' Chi-chi and Goku owned.
"Gotcha haha!" Two arms clasped tightly around his making him jump slightly before he relaxed. Goten let go and began to dance around him happily in a chorus of "I win I win I win! Yeah ha ha!."
Trunks threw his arm out and it collided with Goten's face prompting him to stop dead in his tracks and clutch his throbbing nose. "Ouch Trunks that hurt!" He whined tears building in the corners of his eye's.
Trunks rolled his eye's at the younger saiyan. "Don't be such a baby Goten" He teased. "Come look at what I found in your mom and dad's wardrobe" He added, Goten immediately forgot about the pain in his face and eagerly leant over Trunks shoulder to glance inside.
"Wow look at all the toys!" He gasped excitement dancing in his eye's. "Mom and Dad must play cops and robbers!..oo oo Trunks look!" He pointed his finger over to something and Trunks followed with his eye's. "They even have costumes!"
On hanger just above were various different suits and costumes all made from either rubber or PVC. Floating up from the ground Trunks took one of the hangers down and examined the costume. It was a black all over PVC suit apart from a hole in the chest area. There were two red strips across the crotch. The suit also had a matching mask. It to was also black apart from a red ring around the mouth piece and two red rings around each eye hole.
Goten looked dumbfounded. "What do you think it is?" He asked and Trunks for a second before he came up with an answer.
"I think this is the bad guy..but where's the cop suit?" He pondered, peering into the wardrobe again. "Oh here it is!" Came a muffled voice before he pulled out another hanger with a black PVC policewoman's outfit on it.
Goten raised an eyebrow. "Trunks that's for girls!" He screwed his face up in disgust.
"Well that's all there is Goten! Now do you wanna play cops and robbers or not?"
Goten sighed. "Oh..ok.." He relented and took the hanger from Trunks. "Hey does that mean I get to use the handcuffs?" He asked eagerly. Trunks nodded and handed the pink fluffy cuffs to Goten who snatched them happily.
"Oh wow this is gonna be fun! Let's go change..!"
"Steal you stupid baka!! If you don't she will!!" Vegeta yelled shaking his fists at the television. "Stupid damn humans!" He added plopping back down into his seat. Goku and Gohan shifted nervously in their own. They'd sat through the whole of Goldenballs on edge not knowing whether Vegeta was going to completely lose it and blast a hole through the TV.
Ding Dong. Gohan's heart leapt and he thanked Dende for the distraction. "I'll get it!" Goku chirped diving from his seat. Gohan looked up to his father with wide eye's.
"Oh no you don't it's Videl. I'LL get it!" He to dived off the chair and flew past Goku just in time to catch the door first. But before he managed to open it Goku who hadn't seen his sun continued to run straight into the back of him. Gohan crashed into the door his face sliding down the glass as he dropped to the floor with swirly eye's.
Goku chuckled lightly and scratched the back of his head. "Um sorry Gohan.." He shrugged opening the door, sweeping his son out of the way as he did so. "Hey Videl!" He exclaimed smiling widely at the young girl.
"Oh hey Goku" She smiled back and stepped inside. "Um where's Gohan?" Goku laughed and pointed to the floor where Gohan sat sulking and rubbing a forming lump on hi head.
"Hi Videl" He grumbled picking himself up from the floor and growling at Goku who looked at him sheepishly. "Dinners almost ready" Videl nodded and followed her friend into the front room where Vegeta was no watching The Weakest Link.
Trunks swung open the medicine cabinet and fished around through all the bottles and capsules. "Um Goten" The younger saiyan bounded into the bathroom. "Well I think if I'm gonna be the bad buy I guess I should pretend to be a drug pusher to..but..what are these?" He held up a cardboard box filled with little triangular shaped blue pills.
Goten looked at the label thoughtfully. "Vaigri..no..Viagree?..no..
"It says Viagra Goten, dumbass!" Trunks cut in impatiently.
"Oh" He chuckled. "There my Dad's..mom says there his happy time pills" He explained remembering back to the conversation with his mother when he'd asked the same question.
"Happy time?" He questioned.
"Yep. She say's sometime he has trouble getting excited so it helps when he takes his happy time pills, she says he can play for hours!" Goten added.
Trunks looked at the box thoughtfully. "Well they must work! Your dad's always happy!..I wish my Dad was like that..he never plays with me..hey! Maybe we should give him some?"
Goten looked uneasy. "I don't think that's such a good idea Trunks he might get mad" He debated remembering the time they'd both dyed his eyebrows pink while he slept. He shuddered, it had been the first time he'd wet his pants in a long time.
Trunks shook him off and popped two pills out of the packet. "Relax Goten it doesn't even matter 'cause after I give him two of these he'll be happy remember!"
"Oh yeah" Goten agreed. "Um maybe you should give him three..he's extra grumpy"
"Hmm your right" He popped out another pill. "I think we should hide them in his drink so we can be sure he'll take them"
After a few moments of planning and scheming…
"Right so if you distract him I can slip these into his drink. Wait..do they dissolve?"
Goten shrugged. "I dunno. But hey how come I have to be the distraction, he's your Dad!"
Trunks slapped Goten upside the head. "Shut up just do it ok? Don't chicken out on me now Goten" The younger boy frowned and rubbed his head. With the amount of blows he took to the head it was almost certain he was destined to grow up to be even denser than Goku.
Trunks linked his arm around Goten's shoulder and pulled him close cupping a hand around his ear so that he could whisper to him. "Right so you go downstairs and distract them and I'll sneak in and put the pills in his drink, Get it?"
Goten nodded. "Got it"
"Good" Trunks replied rubbing his hands together in delight as an evil smirk cross his lips. "This is fool proof..even an idiot like Goten can pull it off.." He mumbled to himself before ushering Goten down the stairs to begin their plan.
Gohan sighed as his stomach rumbled violently again. "Mom when's it going to be ready. I'm starving.." He moaned. "Yeah me to!" Came the echoes' of Vegeta and Goku.
"It'll be ready when I say it's ready until then SHUT IT!"
All three gulped and sat back in their seats quietly.
"Presenting!" (Drum roll) "The spectacular Goten Son in an interpretive dance" From outside of the front room Trunks pressed play on a small stereo and Beyonce's Check On It blasted through the speakers. Gohan, Vegeta, Goku and Videl all looked up wide eyed as Goten pranced into the room clad in his PVC policewoman's outfit.
You gotta stop playing round with all the clowns and the wanksta's
Good girls gotta get down with the gangsta's
Goten began to pump his fists into the air and shake his hips to the music. Trunks almost forgot about the plan as he tried to fight back the laughter that was threatening to spill from his mouth.
The adults on the couch had eye's akin to the size of saucers and just gaped in shock.
Go head girl put some back and some neck up on it
While I stand up in the background and check up on it.
Seeing his chance as all the adults were distracted he snuck quietly into he living room and dipped behind the sofa, on his hands and knee's Trunks crawled towards the right end of the couch and poked his head up, eye's fixed on his father's glass of beer. Easy does it Trunks..
Making sure one last time he looked up to Goten, who looked a lot as though he was enjoying doing his dance. He'd began to sing along.
"If you got it flaunt it, boy I know you want it" He turned full circle and began shaking his ass to the beat. "While I turn around you watch me check up on it..oo you watching me shake it I can see it in your face, you can't take it it's blazin, you watch me in amazement.."
Videl leaned into Gohan. "Ok, so the dancing is weird enough but what in kami's name is he wearing!?" Gohan blinked a few times and shrugged. "I..I..have no idea" He replied his voice coming out barely above a whisper.
Trunks snickered to himself and looked at the blue pills clutched in his hand. Here goes.. He thought reaching up quickly towards Vegeta's drink, he dropped the pills into the glass then dived back behind the sofa quickly his heart beating wildly in his chest.
By this time Goten was beginning to run out of dance moves. "You can look at it as long as you don't grab it.." He continued to sing, he was now waving his hands about in the air. A single nervous sweat drop appearing on his forehead he looked over to the back of the sofa as Trunks popped his head up.
Goten gave him a questioning look and Trunks gave him a quick thumbs up. While he still had the chance Trunks army crawled his way out from behind the sofa and when he'd gotten far enough not to be seen floated up into the air and shot out of the room.
Breathing a sigh of relief Goten let his tired arms drop to his side and smiled widely. "Well that's all for now folks..um Seeya!" He chirped giving a nervous wave before he made a mad dash for the door.
Gohan gawped at Videl, Vegeta gawped at Goku and Goku sat staring straight ahead to the spot where Goten had just stood hands clasped together, eye's welling up with tears of pride. He began a slow clap. "That was..beautiful.." He breathed.
Vegeta raised a dark eyebrow. "Your baka of a son is as moronic and retarded as you are Kakkarot" He spat angrily that he'd just been distracted from his game show to watch the most ridiculous thing he'd ever seen in his life.
Videl's jaw hung open. She closed her mouth and swallowed hard. "That was..crazy.."
Gohan nodded dumbly.
Completely out of breath Goten flopped down onto his bed with a sigh. "Trunks that was humiliating!" He whined trying to hide the blush that was beginning to creep across his cheeks. Trunks ignored him and was to busy pumping his fists in the air in victory.
"Ha ha!" He called.
Goten frowned and sat up arms crossed over his chest. "Don't you think your dad's going to notice he's got three blue pills in his drink, did they dissolve?"
Trunks smirked proudly and opened his hand outstretching his arm for Goten to see the remnants of blue powder on his palm. "I crushed them."
Dinner begins…
With a smile Chi-chi placed the last dish onto the table and stood back to admire her work, wiping a bead of sweat from her brow. "At last, it's all done!" She exclaimed. Bulma to admired Chi-chi's hard work and felt herself getting hungry.
"Should we call the guys?"
Chi-chi nodded and cupped her hands around her mouth, taking in a deep breath. "GOKU, VEGETA, GOHAN, GOTEN, TRUNKS, VIDEL DINNERS READY NOW!!!" Bulma almost fell back in surprise.
Within the space of about three seconds six flashes whizzed into the kitchen and everyone sat around the table eyeing the food with wonder.
Goku was the first to reach out with lightening speed and snatch up food onto his plate. Just as his fingers touched down onto a chicken leg a loud THWACK was heard and he felt a throbbing pain in the back of his hand. "Ow ow ow ow ooo..ouch…" He moaned clutching his hand. He looked up to his wife who had fire in her eye's, her nostrils were flaring angrily.
"Have some manners Goku, say grace!!" She seethed, taking her own seat beside him.
Goku sighed and opened his mouth to speak before Videl interrupted. "Um can anyone tell me why Trunks is wearing a gimp suit?" Everyone's eye's whipped round to the purple haired demi-saiyan who just stared back blankly through the eyeholes in his mask.
Chi-chi's eye's widened in horror. "Trunks were did you get that?" She gulped.
Trunks shrugged. "Your wardrobe..me and Goten were playing cops and robbers.." Chi-chi looked over to her son who smiled happily swinging his fluffy cuffs around his finger.
"Hey Chi aren't those-
"DON'T YOU DARE!" Chi-chi spat cutting Goku off. A deep blush crept onto her cheeks.
"I'm just gonna get some juice.." Trunks trailed off trying to ignore everyone's stares. Jumping from his seat he heard more gasps and he whirled around quickly. "What now!?"
Gohan broke into fits of laughter and pointed to him, clutching his stomach. "Your..butt..it's…ah I can't take it..!" He fell from his chair.
Trunks turned his head and looked down to his backside. The suit had to holes cut out over his cheeks. Trunks face turned crimson. He turned around and scratched the back of his head. "Ha..I thought it was breezy.." He laughed.
Everyone sweat-dropped.
Some few minutes later…
Dishes piled up on the edge of the table and food whizzed by at the speed of light as the saiyans continued to fill their plates. Videl stared on in horror. What are these people…I can't get used to this..
And just as quickly as they'd began eating everything stopped and in unison all the saiyans belched loudly and sat back in their seats rubbing their stomachs in appreciation. "Aww Chi that was awesome!" Goku said emitting another loud burp.
Chi-chi brushed. "Oh it was nothing" She replied modestly.
Bulma looked to her husband angrily and gave him a swift kick in the shins. He looked up and cleared his throat. "Oh yeah..it..was..great..yes.." He grumbled humiliated. "Now if were all done I'm going to get back to my game shows" He added looking to his wife as if for confirmation. Bulma nodded curtly and Vegeta nodded back before getting up from his seat, as he did so something collided with the table and the whole thing flipped over onto it's side causing dishes to fall onto the floor with a loud CRASH.
Vegeta stopped dead in his tracks. Everyone around the table for what seemed like the 90th time that days gasped and stared in horror. Vegeta swung round, Chi-chi who was standing beside him was prodded.
"WHAT THE HELL! OH DENDE THAT'S DISGUSTING..EWW GET IT AWAY DON'T TOUCH ME WITH THAT..THAT THING!" She cried diving into Goku's arms.
"Oh..oh..this is just to much for me..no I refuse to subject myself to this any longer..you!" Videl snarled looking around at the whole group. "Are all crazy..your not only aliens who eat an astounding amount of food your also all deranged sex perverts! What is wrong with you!?" Her left eye began to twitch and her body shook with anger and fear. "Gohan.." She began again turning to her friend. "I actually thought you were a nice guy but..your..your…family..it's as if they just stepped out of the nut house..I'm out of here.." She stammered backing slowly away from the table as Vegeta unknowingly pointed his third leg at her.
"HOW DARE YOU, YOU THIRD CLASS DISGUSTING EXCUSE FOR A LIFE FORM..YOUR LUCKY I DON'T BLAST YOU INTO KINGDOM COME!" Vegeta sneered. "I AM THE PRINCE OF ALL SAIYAN'S YOU SHOW SOME RES-
"Oh Vegeta give it up. Right about now you look like a lecherous old man..go and take a cold shower.." Bulma cut in looking down to her husbands crotch in interest. How come I never get that reaction..She mused.
Trunks scratched the back of his head in confusion, Goten followed suite. "Trunks he doesn't seem very happy, I don't think it worked" He shook his head. "Your right..perhaps..my dad's just doomed to be a grumpy old ass.." He sighed.
Through all the arguing Videl has snuck out much to Gohan's dismay who had begged and pleaded for her not to go, had actually clung onto her leg and let himself be physically dragged with her all the way to the door. Releasing a defeated sigh he sauntered back into the front room and flopped down onto his chair. He held his hands up into the air then let him drop back to his sides. "Well thank you…thank you all for ruining my life.."
All heads turned in the direction of Gohan, as well as, of course Vegeta's wood. Chi-chi leant a comforting arm around her son's shoulders. "It's ok Gohan if she loves you, she'll come back" She soothed stroking his hair.
Gohan shook his head and frowned. "No mom I told you me and Videl were only friends..it's just..she..she knows my secret and now I'm afraid she's going to tell everyone.."
"Oh stop being so stupid brat, everybody already knows that you're the 'Great saiyaman'" Vegeta snorted doing little air quotes.
"Yes I know..I don't mean that secret.." He swallowed thickly. Everyone's eye's seemed to burn through his skin.
"Oo oo whats your secret Gohan, tell us?" Goten said excitedly swinging his legs happily over the edge of his chair.
Gohan took a deep breath. "Ok I guess it's about time I shared this with you all but" He began pulling at his collar nervously as thought it was crushing his windpipe. "You need to promise not to laugh or judge me in any way, it's taking everything for me to tell you this.."
"JUST TELL THE DAMN SECRET!" Everyone yelled in unison.
Gohan held his hands up. "Ok ok..I'm..I'm gay.." He blurted out a deep blush crept onto his face.
Chi-chi fainted, Goku and Goten stared blankly and Vegeta, Bulma and Trunks' eyes all twitched as they tried to contain the laughter. "Your gay?" Gohan nodded. "A poof?"
"A faggot?" Gohan growled.
"A queer!" Vegeta giggled. "A fruit packer? An ass bandit?"
"YOU'RE A BUTT PIRATE?" Trunks yelled, prompting Bulma to lash out and swipe him across the head.
Gohan's face screwed up in anger and he looked as though he was going to blow. Trunks composed himself and leant into Gohan's ear. "So what your saying is.." Gohan turned his face slowly towards the younger saiyan. Trunks cleared his throat. "That you're an anal investigator?"
"ARGHHHHHHH!!!" Gohan screamed jumping from his seat fists tightening at his sides.
Laughter erupted all around the table, all bar Chi-chi and Goku that was, Chi-chi was still unconscious and Goku hadn't seemed to notice what had happened.
"You..your..your..a disgrace to the saiyans boy..oh..but it's..s..s..so…funny.." Vegeta was turning blue in the face.
Gohan turned super saiyan, then up to level to, electricity sparked all around his body. Seeing there chance for mischief Trunks elbowed Goten softly. "Hey Goten. Wanna do a little cursing?"
Goten nodded vigorously. They both drew in a deep breath and in unison began a chorus of. "Shits, tit's, motherfuckers, bastard, bitch..BOLLOCK-
A frying pan and a fist came whizzing out of nowhere and both Chibi's were knocked to the ground in an instant, at that moment all the commotion died down and Gohan powered down.
"Well" Vegeta looked around the room in interest. "This was the best dinner party I've ever attended. We should do it again sometime..soon.." He snickered picking up his son from the ground who had a huge bump growing on his head and swirly eye's. Vegeta headed for the door Bulma in tow and Chi-chi sighed.
Well that was definitely interesting..although..I could have sworn Gohan told me he was gay..I must be crazy..
"Oh dad. I need you to sign me a permission slip" Gohan said shoving a piece of paper under his nose. "I'm auditioning to star in the musical Hairspray" He grinned.
"Oh Kami.." Chi-chi breathed before fainting once more.
Ok I'm crude and foul mouthed..but was it funny? eh? eh?..by the way I have absoloutely nothing against gay people before anybody decides to comment on that I actually have to very good gay friends one of which suggested a few of those names to me! He's awesome! lol so please don't bash me for it.
