The Crazy New Defense Against Dark Arts Teacher, Bonnie McGonagall
By Aimi
Time Setting: 5th year
Summary: The students of Hogwarts suspect that Professor McGonagall's niece, Bonnie McGongall is going to be a lot like her. What they get is a teacher who reacts to the smallest things and has be known to go bonkers over the silliest things.
DADA shall never be the same again. Everyone thinks that'll she won't make it as a teacher and be fired at the end of the year.
Who knows....that darn cat!
~*~
Minerva McGonagall, Deputy Headmistress stared long and hard the letter Albus had given her to read.
Dearest Headmaster of Hogwarts,
I've recently understood that your school has a need for a new Defense Against Dark Arts Teacher.
In closed is my resume.
My Aunt and deputy headmistress, Minerva McGonagall, could tell you more about my education and work.
Sincerely,
Bonnie Joule Silme McGonagall
Minerva reread the letter several times before rolling it up briskly. "What nonsense! She's not worthy of a teaching position! Let alone the right to an wand!"
Albus sat behind he's desk, eating chocolate frogs. "Why is that?"
She sat down in a nearby chair. "My niece tries to be helpful, but often she gets in the way." Her face looked sobered. "A lot like my little brother, Noble."
Albus nodded and looked a little sad. "We all miss him, Minerva. He was a good man."
She nodded. "I think Bonnie would have been a little less accident prone if her mother sent her here for her education instead of that fancy all girls witches school in the Caribbean.
It only made her fluffy head and I think perhaps on the mad side."
Albus stood. "The new term is almost upon us and we still have not a teacher for DADA."
He picked up the resume that was with the letter and scanned. "Graduated with top honors, won Witches Weekly's Most Charming Charm contest, Auror training, attended and graduated from Wingling University of Advance Witchcraft. She seems to be very qualified for the job."
Minerva sighed heavily. "It's up to you, Albus."
~*~
Bonnie let a whoop of joy in her house in Hogsmeade.
Her husband and Minister of World Magic, left the haven of he's study to see what he's mad wife was going on about.
She ran up and hugged Alex Silme tightly. "What has gotten you so happy?"
Thoughts raced he's mind, some good and some horrifying him to think about.'
"You are looking at the new Defense Against Dark Arts teacher, love!"
He gave her a loving smile and hug. "Wonderful news!"
She skipped out of the living room, almost tripping on the box full of floo powder on the cluttered floor.
He straighten his robes and disappeared from the room.
Bonnie walked back in. "Love, do you want some tea--Alex?" She scanned the room and shrugged. "More tea for me...."
~*~
She arrived at the school two weeks prior to the start of the school year.
Alex left early that morning without saying good bye, it was hard being married to the Minister of World Magic.
The empty train slowed as it enter the station, she whistled at the sight befell her. "Auntie is lucky to work here or what?" Said into the thin stale air.
Something gray streak past her outside her seating box.
Curious, she sat up and looked out the door. It was just a cat that had strayed in at Hogsmeade station.
She walked out and tried to approach the animal, but it streaked away. On instinct from her previous training as an Auror, she chased after it.
"WOULD YOU STOP, KITTY!" She cried as she raced through several cars.
Somehow the cat managed to escape the train and get outside, and yet Bonnie chased on for no reason, but for the sheer stupidity of it.
The cat raced towards a untied boat on the edge of the lake and started to float away.
Bonnie thought she could jump it but landed in the lake instead.
Someone laughed from the boat as Bonnie emerged from the freezing water. "Aunt Minnie!" She said with a wail of despair. "Why did you do that!?"
She heard even more laughter, behind her on the shore, some of the other Hogwarts teacher had gather to greet the new professor, but were instead laughing at her.
She turned bright red and climb out of the lake, mentally cursing her mean Aunt.
Bonnie was a sight to look at. Bright red robes, looked like the darkest color of red, silver framed glasses askew, and long hair in a mess of lake crud and tangles.
~*~
She flew onto her bed and grabbed her journal off the night stand and began to write.
My thoughts on my fellow colleagues....
Severus Snape seems to have emotional problems from being under the rule of Adolph--er He Who Must Not be named (Still find that name redundant...). I should suggest to Madame Pomfrey to have him remove that stick up he's bum, it's making him act like a constipated wiener dog.
Professor Binns is by far the scariest....Why? HE'S DEAD AND DOESN'T SEEM TO NOTICE!!!
He so gloomy (Yeah ghosts are suppose to be like that, sort of. Nearly Headless Nick is kind of disgustingly cheerful for a ghost) and he kept telling me during dinner about what happen to previous DADA professors....It made me wanna hide under my blankie and never come out.
Hooch, let's say....the UK's Janet Reno....
From what I hear, she makes sure all the Quidditch games are played fairly.
Poppy Pomfrey, reminds me of a worrying mum. I swear you sneeze and she has some sort of potion to shove down you.
Albus Dumbledore, my employer. Erm hate to say this, but Santa Claus and Winnie the Pooh comes to mind.
Aunt, well now I have to call her, Professor McGongall. Anyway, she's same as always. Using me as a big joke for her to show all, but I guess she's still a still sad about my father. She always mentions how much I'm like him and then insults me.
I could go on and on telling you my thoughts about these people, but it would fill the book up completely and I must sleep.
~*~
Minerva entered Bonnie's office early the next day to find her niece with goblin figures singing 'What Girl Wants' and being judge by mini Simones. Every time one of the Mini Simons got annoyed, he'd zap the Goblin who was sing in the butt with it's wand.
Who knew that Simon from AI could go that far to be mean.
The mini Simons looked up at a amused Bonnie. "They all sing like dead stuck pigs with hernias."
"Ahem, Bonnie?" Said Minerva from the doorway.
Bonnie jumped and waved her wands at her crazed figures. "Yes?"
"What may I ask will be your method of teaching this year?"
Bonnie waved her wand and two cups of hot tea were on her desk. "Lot's of punishments. Making them sing the Barney theme song, kiss the butts of random statues, give them outrageous homework assignments."
Minerva sighed and picked up the cup of tea. "Seriously, Bonnie."
Bonnie pouted and crossed her arms. "Your bossy! I don't want you as my friend anymore!" She stuck her tongue out and giggled.
~*~
TBC in Chapter two.
Title of chapter two: 'First Day As Professor McGongall, Ahhhhhh!'
PS Silly to ask....review, please.
Just don't flame and be rude.
Manners rock! ;D
PSS
This shall get more humorous as I go on with it. I promise.
By Aimi
Time Setting: 5th year
Summary: The students of Hogwarts suspect that Professor McGonagall's niece, Bonnie McGongall is going to be a lot like her. What they get is a teacher who reacts to the smallest things and has be known to go bonkers over the silliest things.
DADA shall never be the same again. Everyone thinks that'll she won't make it as a teacher and be fired at the end of the year.
Who knows....that darn cat!
~*~
Minerva McGonagall, Deputy Headmistress stared long and hard the letter Albus had given her to read.
Dearest Headmaster of Hogwarts,
I've recently understood that your school has a need for a new Defense Against Dark Arts Teacher.
In closed is my resume.
My Aunt and deputy headmistress, Minerva McGonagall, could tell you more about my education and work.
Sincerely,
Bonnie Joule Silme McGonagall
Minerva reread the letter several times before rolling it up briskly. "What nonsense! She's not worthy of a teaching position! Let alone the right to an wand!"
Albus sat behind he's desk, eating chocolate frogs. "Why is that?"
She sat down in a nearby chair. "My niece tries to be helpful, but often she gets in the way." Her face looked sobered. "A lot like my little brother, Noble."
Albus nodded and looked a little sad. "We all miss him, Minerva. He was a good man."
She nodded. "I think Bonnie would have been a little less accident prone if her mother sent her here for her education instead of that fancy all girls witches school in the Caribbean.
It only made her fluffy head and I think perhaps on the mad side."
Albus stood. "The new term is almost upon us and we still have not a teacher for DADA."
He picked up the resume that was with the letter and scanned. "Graduated with top honors, won Witches Weekly's Most Charming Charm contest, Auror training, attended and graduated from Wingling University of Advance Witchcraft. She seems to be very qualified for the job."
Minerva sighed heavily. "It's up to you, Albus."
~*~
Bonnie let a whoop of joy in her house in Hogsmeade.
Her husband and Minister of World Magic, left the haven of he's study to see what he's mad wife was going on about.
She ran up and hugged Alex Silme tightly. "What has gotten you so happy?"
Thoughts raced he's mind, some good and some horrifying him to think about.'
"You are looking at the new Defense Against Dark Arts teacher, love!"
He gave her a loving smile and hug. "Wonderful news!"
She skipped out of the living room, almost tripping on the box full of floo powder on the cluttered floor.
He straighten his robes and disappeared from the room.
Bonnie walked back in. "Love, do you want some tea--Alex?" She scanned the room and shrugged. "More tea for me...."
~*~
She arrived at the school two weeks prior to the start of the school year.
Alex left early that morning without saying good bye, it was hard being married to the Minister of World Magic.
The empty train slowed as it enter the station, she whistled at the sight befell her. "Auntie is lucky to work here or what?" Said into the thin stale air.
Something gray streak past her outside her seating box.
Curious, she sat up and looked out the door. It was just a cat that had strayed in at Hogsmeade station.
She walked out and tried to approach the animal, but it streaked away. On instinct from her previous training as an Auror, she chased after it.
"WOULD YOU STOP, KITTY!" She cried as she raced through several cars.
Somehow the cat managed to escape the train and get outside, and yet Bonnie chased on for no reason, but for the sheer stupidity of it.
The cat raced towards a untied boat on the edge of the lake and started to float away.
Bonnie thought she could jump it but landed in the lake instead.
Someone laughed from the boat as Bonnie emerged from the freezing water. "Aunt Minnie!" She said with a wail of despair. "Why did you do that!?"
She heard even more laughter, behind her on the shore, some of the other Hogwarts teacher had gather to greet the new professor, but were instead laughing at her.
She turned bright red and climb out of the lake, mentally cursing her mean Aunt.
Bonnie was a sight to look at. Bright red robes, looked like the darkest color of red, silver framed glasses askew, and long hair in a mess of lake crud and tangles.
~*~
She flew onto her bed and grabbed her journal off the night stand and began to write.
My thoughts on my fellow colleagues....
Severus Snape seems to have emotional problems from being under the rule of Adolph--er He Who Must Not be named (Still find that name redundant...). I should suggest to Madame Pomfrey to have him remove that stick up he's bum, it's making him act like a constipated wiener dog.
Professor Binns is by far the scariest....Why? HE'S DEAD AND DOESN'T SEEM TO NOTICE!!!
He so gloomy (Yeah ghosts are suppose to be like that, sort of. Nearly Headless Nick is kind of disgustingly cheerful for a ghost) and he kept telling me during dinner about what happen to previous DADA professors....It made me wanna hide under my blankie and never come out.
Hooch, let's say....the UK's Janet Reno....
From what I hear, she makes sure all the Quidditch games are played fairly.
Poppy Pomfrey, reminds me of a worrying mum. I swear you sneeze and she has some sort of potion to shove down you.
Albus Dumbledore, my employer. Erm hate to say this, but Santa Claus and Winnie the Pooh comes to mind.
Aunt, well now I have to call her, Professor McGongall. Anyway, she's same as always. Using me as a big joke for her to show all, but I guess she's still a still sad about my father. She always mentions how much I'm like him and then insults me.
I could go on and on telling you my thoughts about these people, but it would fill the book up completely and I must sleep.
~*~
Minerva entered Bonnie's office early the next day to find her niece with goblin figures singing 'What Girl Wants' and being judge by mini Simones. Every time one of the Mini Simons got annoyed, he'd zap the Goblin who was sing in the butt with it's wand.
Who knew that Simon from AI could go that far to be mean.
The mini Simons looked up at a amused Bonnie. "They all sing like dead stuck pigs with hernias."
"Ahem, Bonnie?" Said Minerva from the doorway.
Bonnie jumped and waved her wands at her crazed figures. "Yes?"
"What may I ask will be your method of teaching this year?"
Bonnie waved her wand and two cups of hot tea were on her desk. "Lot's of punishments. Making them sing the Barney theme song, kiss the butts of random statues, give them outrageous homework assignments."
Minerva sighed and picked up the cup of tea. "Seriously, Bonnie."
Bonnie pouted and crossed her arms. "Your bossy! I don't want you as my friend anymore!" She stuck her tongue out and giggled.
~*~
TBC in Chapter two.
Title of chapter two: 'First Day As Professor McGongall, Ahhhhhh!'
PS Silly to ask....review, please.
Just don't flame and be rude.
Manners rock! ;D
PSS
This shall get more humorous as I go on with it. I promise.
