N/A: This was written for the usxuk community's Secret Santa exchange. The prompt I received asked for "Card!verse Alfred and Arthur enjoying their time together inside their home". Beta read by the ever lovely Ellarose C.
Alfred, the King of Spades, frowned and looked up as he heard the scratching at the door. There, ruining his neat little pedicure on Alfred's door, was one of Arthur's terriers. It paused to glance back at Alfred, hoping to see if the King had gotten his message. When he saw Alfred looking, his jaw dropped into a doggy smile and his tail wagged. Alfred had to smile.
"Got locked in, didya?" he asked as he stood up.
The dog yelped excitedly and bounced away from the door, starting up one of his little dances where he would look from Alfred to the door, bouncing back and forth all the while. It was a good thing he and his brethren were so cute; Alfred was sure the sheer number of the dogs would have driven him mad by now otherwise. Arthur could go on however long he wanted about how useful the little pups were about keeping the rats out of their personal chambers, but even Alfred could see through his bluster to see the Queen's love of the dogs.
"Alright, alright," he chuckled as the dog gave a particularly loud bark and began to wiggle his entire back end on the spot. "Hold on."
As always, the dog squeezed through before Alfred had barely opened the door, leaving Alfred to shake his head at its whiny yelps as it scampered off. Rather than just shut the door and return to his (boring) paperwork (lengthy accounts of how the army was experiencing an all-time high in recruits count and whatnot), Alfred paused to watch the dog scamper down the hall. It came to an abrupt halt, torn between sniffing at the familiar smelling bedroom of theirs or the rarely used actual chambers of the Queen which Arthur had abandoned sleeping in after they admitted their feelings. The chambers weren't completely unused by the prickly Queen, but it was enough of an oddity to draw Alfred (eagerly) away from his work to investigate.
The dog wagged his tail at the King's approach and quickly hopped over to the Queen's chamber door, apparently having finally sniffed Arthur out. The dog grinned back at him, wagging his butt and eyes shining, silently asking Alfred to be a sport and open this door as well.
Pausing to scratch behind the pup's silky ears, who tilted his whole head into the man's hand, Alfred reached up and opened the door as quickly and quietly as he could manage before the puppy barreled in. The dog nearly bounced his entire way over to Arthur, scrambling up onto the couch to join the Queen. Arthur absent mindedly patted the dog's head before cursing and fumbling with his book.
Alfred, amused, raised an eyebrow and leaned against the doorframe. "Trouble there, Art?"
To Alfred's amusement and delight, Arthur nearly yelped like one of his dogs at Alfred's voice. He glared and clutched at his chest, heaving a huge breath. "Don't sneak up on me like that! You're as bad as Xiao."
He had to laugh at that. "Dude, you just weren't paying enough attention." Laughing at Arthur's pointed eye roll, Alfred strutted over to him, letting himself drop onto the cushions with enough force to jostle the other man. Arthur glared but shifted over to let him slip his arm behind Arthur's waist. "What are you cursing for, anyway?"
"I got one of the new books from the library—it's too new. I keep having to go through and cut the pages apart, but if I'm not careful the damn corners nearly tear off."
Alfred hid a grin as his husband turned the page only to find that it was stuck as well. Fighting not to chuckle at the frustrated growl, Alfred leaned over and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Poor Art, people are always making you do the really tough work."
"Don't patronize me, you little shit."
He barked a laugh before he could stop himself, ruining a perfectly good chance to pout. Still, he happened to catch that little smile on Arthur's lips before the Queen could hide it in time. Smiling, he let his head rest against Arthur's shoulder, looking down at the book as Arthur cut the pages apart with a dull letter opener. His husband paused momentarily to pat his thigh before returning to his reading. "So," Alfred began, looking at the long paragraphs, "what's this book about?"
"It's a translation of Lord Aldredge's expedition into the frozen northern lands of the Clubs."
Alfred perked up. "Hey, isn't that the copy I asked Erzsébet for when we saw her for Lili's coronation?"
"Perhaps."
"Then I should be the one reading it! Gimme."
Arthur held the book out to the side, leaning over the side of the couch to balance himself. "You should have gotten to it quicker."
The problem with trying to physically keep stuff away from Alfred was twofold—one, he was a persistent little bugger and just kept on wheedling, whining, and begging until he got his way. Two, Alfred was taller and had a longer reach than Arthur. He snagged the book with one quick lunge and then rolled off the couch with the book in his arms. Before Arthur could react, Alfred already sprang up and took off, out of the room, racing for the safety of the bedroom. Behind him, he could hear Arthur's shout and three separate dogs yapping as they all chased after him.
Alfred slid into the room, promptly forgot to shut and lock the door behind him and vaulted clear to the other side of the bed in a feat of athletic talent only seen in sport competitions. Of course, he slipped on the rug, landing in a heap while Arthur and a pack of dogs skidded in behind him.
"Alfred, give me back—why are you on the floor?"
Rather than admit he slipped, Alfred quickly shimmied under the bed like that had been his plan all along. "You'll never take me alive!"
"Alfred! I want my book back!" The dogs raced from around his feet to wiggle under the bed. "Yes, get him! Force him out!"
One happy dog lapped at Alfred's face while another began to nose his ear; Alfred had to laugh, but there was no place to wriggle away but out the way he came. As he squirmed out, a hand reached out and snatched his book away.
"Aha!" Arthur crowed, smirking down at him. Alfred had half a mind to remind him that he looked pretty damn silly, clothes mussed and hat tilting at a precarious angle; instead, Alfred righted himself and launched himself at his husband's midsection, knocking him back onto the bed.
The dogs happily jumped up and began to playfully growl and bark as Alfred and Arthur wrestled for the book. One sloppy lick straight down his ear earned a yelp from Arthur and Alfred finally stole the book.
"I win," he announced, holding the book high in the air.
Arthur rubbed at his ear and scowled up at him while the dogs happily yapped around him. "What, do you want a prize?"
Alfred beamed. "As a matter of fact, I do. And I know exactly what I want."
"And what exactly is that?"
With a grin, Alfred placed the book on his husband's chest; Arthur looked down in confusion. "Read it to me."
"What? After all that trouble you caused me?"
Alfred climbed off his husband, shooing a dog to the side so he could curl up properly, dropping his glasses on the bed above his head. "If you would," he grunted, plopping his head back down on Arthur's shoulder, "be so kind."
For a moment Arthur grumbled and fussed long enough that Alfred almost worried that he really wouldn't agree, but at last he picked the book back up and began to read.
When Yao came to fetch them an hour later for supper, he found them asleep on their bed, fully clothed and covered with sleeping dogs.
