"Flight 857 is now boarding at gate 38. Flight 857 to Pittsburgh is now boarding at gate 38."
"Shit!"
Justin scarfed down the last of his burger, tossing the crumpled wrapper towards the trash as he collected his bags. On top of the wheeled suitcase went the heavier duffel bag, too heavy to carry, as Justin began his frantic run for the gate.
"Final boarding call for flight 857 to Pittsburgh."
"Fuck!"
Justin shoved his way through the stragglers and tourists, his bags flying close behind. He arrived, panting like a marathon runner, in the nick of time. As the stewardess examined his ticket, he felt the anxiety build in his stomach. He couldn't miss this flight. No way, no how. As he settled into his seat, Justin removed his cell phone from the pocket of his jeans.
"Welcome onboard our flight today. We thank you for choosing…"
The captain's words become garbled as Justin types his message:
"On the way."
He turned his phone off so the plane didn't "fall out of the sky".
"Like anyone believes this bullshit."
Justin turned to see a man, in his late 50s, with a fair amount of grey hair sticking up around the top of his head. Justin gave a polite smile and turned back toward the window. He was finally here, after months of planning and waiting. New York was great, but there was one thing it didn't have: Brian Kinney. Lord, how he missed that man.
"So why are you leaving the Big Apple?"
The older man was looking at Justin intently, waiting for an answer.
"Um, I'm visiting someone. Just for the weekend."
"Someone special?"
"Yeah, you could say that."
Justin turned toward the window again. Brian was more than someone special; he was the love of his life, Justin's one and only. He still remembered their first night together: running through the hospital, naming Gus and seeing him for the first time. He remembered the way he felt the next day, and every day since.
"Is it your girlfriend?"
Justin let out a small laugh.
"Um, no. His name is Brian."
The man looked stunned.
"Ohh. Uh, wow. You wouldn't know by just looking at you."
"Do you have a problem with homos?"
The man just smiled. "Dear boy, I'm the last person who'd have a problem with gays. Well, besides Elton John."
It was Justin's turn to be stunned. The man continued smiling as he settled back into his seat.
"So. Why are YOU leaving the Big Apple?"
"Same reason as you, kid. But I've been doing this much longer than you have. Come to think of it, it's been nearly thirty years."
Justin's eyes shot out in shock and awe.
"Fuck! Thirty years? How can you stand it?"
The man looked over at Justin.
"How long have you two been apart?"
"Seven months."
The man nodded. "The first year is always the hardest. I remember feeling like a druggie quitting cold turkey. Withdrawal from the warmth of his body. His kisses. And of course, the fucking."
Justin looked away for a moment and recalled the feelings he had those first few weeks. He turned back.
"How long were you two apart before seeing each other again?"
"Fourteen months."
Justin's jaw dropped. "Jesus! I can't imagine not seeing Brian for over a year."
"Well, money was tight. We're both involved in the arts. I'm a musician and Cooper's a dancer. Well, was a dancer. He injured himself about six years ago. Walks with a cane now."
The man turned away for a moment, struggling to keep his emotions in check.
"I'm Justin, by the way." He extended his hand toward the emotional man.
"Eddie."
They exchanged firm grips before settling back into their seats. Eddie started to doze off, leaving Justin alone with his thoughts. He couldn't believe it. Thirty years? He could hardly stand seven months without Brian. Holding his perfect body in his arms, kissing for hours, fucking each other's brains out. They had the perfect relationship; they loved each other, even if Brian was hesitant to say so. These seven months had been pure hell, despite the fabulous art scene in New York. Justin was successful enough, had a great job at a local art gallery, and had even sold a few paintings. But it wasn't enough. Brian had been his entire universe for five years. He couldn't just let that go. He wouldn't.
"Ladies and gentlemen, we are beginning our descent into Pittsburgh International Airport. Please fasten your seatbelts and put your tray tables into the locked position."
Justin's eyes opened. He rubbed away the exhaustion as the plane landed with a jerk and thud. Eddie, having woken up to the sudden movements, looked around and tried to remember where he was.
"Ladies and gentlemen, please remain in your seats…"
Eddie groaned. "Ugh, that wasn't nearly long enough."
"You're telling me," Justin said as he gathered his belongings.
"Well, at least this is my last trip."
Justin shot up and looked at Eddie.
"You're dumping Cooper?"
Eddie chucked as he grabbed his bag from under the seat.
"No, you dumbass. I'm proposing…again."
"Again?"
"Yeah, I asked him once, thirty-one years ago today. We were more than happy to settle down and be together forever. But we realized something: that wasn't the life for us. We didn't need rings or vows to prove that we loved each other."
Eddie looked over at Justin, whose mouth was nearly on the floor.
"But now, I don't want to be apart. I just want Coop. Took me this long to realize, but it's only time."
"Ladies and gentlemen, we are beginning our descent into Pittsburgh International Airport. Please fasten your seatbelts and put your tray tables into the locked position."
The landing thud jerked Justin awake, though he hadn't realized he was asleep. He rubbed the exhaustion from his eyes and stretched as a yawn escaped his lips. He glanced over to wake Eddie, but he wasn't there.
"Must be in the bathroom."
"Ladies and gentlemen, we have arrived in Pittsburgh. We'd like to thank you for choosing…"
The captain continued his tired old speech, but Eddie never returned. Justin looked around his seat, but found no trace of a bag, let alone another's presence.
"What the fuck?"
Justin stopped a passing flight attendant, but she just added to his confusion.
"I'm sorry, sir, but there was no one sitting there. Our flight was quite empty today."
Justin thanked her and sat back. It couldn't have been a dream; it was all too…real. Great, now he was fucking insane.
As the seatbelt sign turned off, Justin quickly gathered his bags and booked it off the plane. Once he made it to the terminal, he paused to grab his phone and catch any messages he may have missed. Three came at once: the first from his mother (Safe trip, sweetie! :D); the second from Daphne (Let me know when you get in, I'll come pick you up); and the third from his mother once again (Can't wait to see you! XOXO).
"Don't count on it, Mother," Justin thought. This trip was about BRIAN and only BRIAN. Justin lugged his suitcases to the front of the airport and made his way through the automatic doors into the icy winds outside.
"Taxi!" The driver loaded Justin's bags into the trunk as he settled into the backseat.
"Where to?"
The cab driver's gruff voice startled Justin.
"Um, this address, please. And as quick as you can."
The cabbie glanced at the scribbles on the scrap of paper and sped out of the airport.
"Only twenty minutes to go, Justin."
"Thank you, sir."
Justin handed the driver forty bucks and wheeled his bags to the curb. Here he was: Kinnetik. It seemed like forever since he walked through those doors. He left his bags at the front desk and made his way into the heart of the building. He waved at vaguely familiar employees as they filed important papers and talked to the numerous high-profile clients Brian had landed. Finally, he reached it: his office. Justin could hear his voice through the glass:
"No YOU listen, asshole. This spread wouldn't impress a six-year-old, let alone a fucking national corporation. If it's not improved and on my desk by tomorrow, you can kiss your ass goodbye."
The phone slammed onto the receiver, and Justin saw Brian slump into his chair, clutching his face in frustration. Justin took the opportunity to walk into the familiar office and complete his surprise.
"I said no interup-"
Brian stood up and just stared.
"I can leave and come back if you want." Justin smiled.
Brian wasted no time, making his way around his desk. He grabbed Justin by the waist, pulling him in for a long kiss, filled with seven months worth of passion and lust. Five minutes later, they reluctantly separated and stared into each other's eyes.
"What the fuck are you doing here?"
Justin laughed and stroked Brian's arm.
"Good to know your greetings haven't changed."
He looked into Brian's eyes, hauntingly beautiful and full of longing.
"I thought I'd come this weekend, seeing as it's been seven months already."
Brian chuckled and led Justin to the long couch at the end of his spacious office.
"Seven months. Wow. Flew by, didn't it?"
Justin playfully shoved Brian. "Maybe for you!"
They both laughed before exchanging another passionate kiss.
"God, I've missed that," Brian mumbled.
Justin smiled. "I knew you would."
Brian and Justin finally arrived back at the loft. Ever the workaholic, Brian had presentations to prepare before the couple could begin their romantic rendezvous.
"I forgot how big it is."
"Oh, you noticed." Brian smirked at Justin as he slammed the giant door.
Justin wandered inside like he had the first time, drinking in the scene laid before him. This time, it was different. It wasn't a stranger's home; it was his.
"So." Brian grabbed Justin and wrapped him in a surprise bear hug.
"What do you want to do tonight?"
Justin turned to face Brian, smiling and playing with his hair. Brian leaned in for a kiss, only to find a finger pressed to his lips.
"Food first. I'm starving."
Brian sighed and tore himself away to see what his kitchen had to offer. Not much, as it turned out. The refrigerator was surprisingly empty; just Evian and assorted cheeses.
"Well Sunshine, it looks like you'll have to deal with the nightlife after all. Unless you enjoy Gouda and water."
Justin made his way into the kitchen and glanced into the barren refrigerator.
"Jesus, Brian. What the fuck have you been eating?"
"Takeout. My work never ends. One of the perks of owning and running your own agency."
He collapsed onto his floor cushions, sinking slowly into the plush. Justin closed the fridge and walked toward the living room.
"Well, at least that explains the bloating."
"You little shit," Brian exclaimed.
Justin was pulled onto the floor cushions, guffawing. Brian laid on top of him, examining every last inch of his face.
"What?" Brian just shook his head, rolling his lips inward.
"Just looking."
Justin smiled and pulled himself up to meet Brian's lips. They stayed there for what seemed like forever, yet not nearly long enough. Brian sat up and reached for Justin's belt, removing it slowly. Justin was going crazy; seven months apart and Brian was taking it slow. Justin sat up and kissed Brian again.
"What are you waiting for, an invitation?"
"Holy crap! SUNSHINE!"
Debbie's voice rang loud and clear through the Liberty Diner as Brian and Justin made their grand entrance the next morning. Hands interlocked, they weaved their way inside as a familiar group emerged from their booth.
"Hey, sweetie!"
Emmett was the first to embrace Justin.
"How've you been? We didn't know you were coming this weekend."
Emmett glared at Brian.
"Why the fuck are you looking at me? I had no clue."
Michael was next, followed by Ben.
"Why didn't you tell anyone?"
"Well I wanted to keep it from Brian. I love surprising him."
He smiled at Brian, who nudged him with his elbow.
"Oh, come here, Sunshine!"
Debbie, with all her flair, came bounding from behind the counter. She grabbed Justin and locked him between her arms for a good three minutes. As she released him from her clutches, Justin took a few steps back, struggling to catch his breath. Brian laughed and wrapped his arm around his boyfriend's shoulder.
"So, what brings you back to shitty old Pittsburgh?"
Debbie slapped Michael upside the head as he finished his sentence.
"MA!"
Justin laughed as the typical Novotny conversation unfolded before him. He settled into the booth, close to Brian.
"Well, New York is great, but sometimes you need a city that knows how to sleep."
Emmett chuckled as Justin turned toward Brian.
"And there's no Brian Kinney's."
"Fuck, I hope not. The one we have is bad enough already!"
Debbie laughed at her own joke as she went to collect orders. Michael just shook his head and turned back toward the table.
"So, how's work in New York? Sold any art yet?"
Ben looked curious as he took a gulp of his coffee.
"Um, yeah, I have actually. I'm working at a small art gallery, teaching some classes. I sold three paintings at our last show."
"Met any adorable artsy boys?" Emmett raised his eyebrows in curiosity.
Justin laughed and answered, "No. No one quite measures up."
He shot a glance at Brian, who chuckled and looked down at his menu.
"You miss it here yet?"
Justin didn't look at Michael for fear he would start crying.
"Uh, a little bit. Sometimes."
Brian took Justin's hand under the table, rubbing his thumb against the back of it.
"Well. That was interesting."
The loft door slammed as Brian walked in, Justin straight ahead of him. The sadness still hadn't left the young lad's eyes, but Brian chose not to notice.
"Good to know Debbie is still batshit crazy, right?"
Nothing. Not even a nod. Justin skulked toward the couch and slumped onto the cushions. Brian sighed, grabbed an Evian from the fridge, and walked toward the sad young man. He sat down next to him, opening his water and taking a large gulp before placing it on the table. Brian took Justin's hand, but he pulled away. Brian leaned in to look at Justin's eyes, but he eluded his gaze.
"All right, Sunshine. You can't avoid me forever. I know you think I'm irresistible."
Brian gently grasped his chin and turned it toward him. Justin's icy blue eyes were full of mist: tears that refused to leave. Brian stared into his foggy eyes before releasing his grip.
"What is it?"
Justin wiped more tears away.
"I don't know. Fuck, what is wrong with me?"
Brian pulled Justin into his chest as his sobs echoed throughout the loft, tears falling onto his shirt.
"What if I hadn't left?"
Justin sat up and looked at Brian.
"What if we had gotten married?"
Brian just stared at Justin, startled.
"Think about it, " Justin said as he stood up. "We would always be together and we'd have that fabulous palace. We'd be happy."
"Would we?" Brian stood up and walked to his grieving prince.
Justin turned to face Brian, a frosty look in his eyes.
"Why wouldn't we be?"
"Justin, you said it yourself; we don't need rings or vows to prove we love each other."
Justin scoffed and walked toward the kitchen, hands on his hips. Brian slowly approached the frustrated man and wrapped his arms around his waist. He rested his head on Justin's shoulder, turning to look at him. Brian could still see tears building in his eyes, but he didn't know what else to say. He took one last look, pulled his arms away, and walked up the platform toward his bedroom. Justin stared at the wall, thinking and quietly sobbing.
"Coming?"
He turned to see Brian waiting at the top of the platform.
"In a minute."
Justin turned away from Brian and back to his thoughts.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?"
Justin spun around to find Eddie standing in the living room, clear as day.
"Eddie? What the fuck?"
"That's what I asked you, dumbass. Did you not comprehend anything I told you on the plane?"
Justin was flabbergasted to say the least.
"What are you talking about?"
Eddie scoffed and walked toward Brian's liquor, pouring himself a glass and scarfing it down at lightning speed.
"Me and Coop, it's you and Brian. Well, kind of."
Justin still didn't understand.
"How did you-."
"Fuck logistics, kid. Listen to what I'm telling you."
They were nose to nose now, uncomfortably so.
"Time is your friend. I know it feels like your worst enemy now, but trust me."
"Why the fuck should I trust you? You're just a figment of my imagination, an enigma."
Finally, Justin realized. That was the point. These were HIS thoughts. He knew everything Eddie was saying was true, because he'd thought of it. Justin looked at Eddie, who was beaming with pride.
"Now you got it, kid."
At that moment, Justin opened his eyes in the blue light. He remembered he was still in Brian's loft, in his bed, cuddled up in his arms. He rolled over to watch Brian sleep. He loved seeing the crazy club boy so calm and relaxed. Justin curled up beside the man he loved to catch a few more hours of blissful sleep.
The weekend came and went faster than either of them wanted it to. The drive to the airport was a quiet one; Justin struggled to keep his composure as Brian continued his drive. He glanced over at Justin and took his hand. This time, Justin didn't pull away; he latched onto Brian's hand, wishing he didn't have to let go. Brian parked the Corvette, helped Justin unload his bags, and together, they walked toward the terminal. As the entrance got closer, Brian realized how much he didn't want to be there. He slowed his pace, and Justin paused to turn around. There he stood: the man he loved, the man he was leaving once again. He walked back to Brian, who turned away.
"Oh, Mr. Kinney, those sunglasses aren't fooling anyone."
Justin removed the shades to reveal tear-filled brown eyes; once full of love and longing, they now looked lost and hopeless. Justin embraced him, his arms wrapped around his perfect body. He felt the vibrations of Brian's vocal cords against his forehead:
"Please don't take my Sunshine away."
He tore himself away to kiss his beautiful lips, remaining there for five minutes. As they separated, tears escaped Justin's eyes, cascading down his cheeks. Brian wiped them away, struggling to keep his own back. He pulled Justin into his arms once again, holding tight.
"Come back to me, my prince."
Justin beamed and looked up at Brian.
"I love you too much not to."
Brian smiled and pulled him back into his warm embrace, neither wanting to let go. They broke the hug and stared at each other longingly. Justin cradled Brian's face in his trembling hands.
"Our time will come. And when it does, it'll be right. For both of us."
Brian chuckled as he stroked Justin's hair.
"How did you get so smart?"
Justin shrugged. "I guess being with you all this time has its perks."
One more passionate kiss later, Justin wheeled his suitcases to the security gate. He looked back at his love, smiling. He resisted every urge to run back, to be safe and sound in Brian's arms once again.
"Not yet," he told himself.
He stole one last glance.
"It's only time."
