Friends for Dinner

Summary: Todd has dinner guests. Slightly AU missing scene from "The Queen."

Disclaimer: While I do claim ownership of the story and the rewritten song lyrics, MGM owns the characters therein. Universal Studios owns the Land Before Time, which was the basis for this little script.

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Todd escorts his guests to a room with a table and lit candles. He instructs them to sit. Colonel Sheppard, Teyla, Ronon, Rodney, and Dr. Keller take their seats.

Todd: You'll have to forgive the bare table; it will be filled momentarily. The refreshments have been a bit delayed and I will see to them in a minute. You see, I am unaccustomed to having friends for dinner.

Todd smiles mischievously and leaves the room. The humans exchange nervous glances.

Rodney (nervously): Clever. 'Friends for dinner.' Not sure I like the sound of that.

Ronon: Me neither.

Music starts. Todd can be seen gathering various fruits and vegetables from the ship's hold.

Todd: Friends for dinner

I'm gonna have friends for dinner

I'm gonna get a couple of those and a couple of these

Things from the farmers' fields and things grown on trees

I think they're useless but I know they'll please

My friends for dinner

Team: Friends for dinner

Sheppard: He just wants to have friends for dinner

Rodney: He wants to have Runner soup

Ronon: And lieutenant colonel stew

Rodney: You won't think it's funny when he sucks on you

Sheppard: That's not a very nice thing to do

Team: To have friends for dinner

Keller: He can't eat vegetables or even meat

Sheppard: He'll siphon your life right down to your feet

Rodney: If he feeds on Sheppard, wouldn't that be enough?

Teyla: He would let go of Ronon, 'cause he's too tough!

Ronon: That's right!

Team: Friends for dinner

Don't wanna be friends for dinner

Teyla: We'd rather be lost in space

Rodney: Get chased by a bee

Sheppard: Sink Atlantis to the bottom of the sea

Team: One thing we know we don't wanna be

Is friends for dinner!

Ronon: He'll grab your chest

His nails will cut like knives

Sheppard: He can't be all bad

He did save my life

Ronon: He'll tear off your flesh

Keller: That must hurt

Rodney: Teyla pot pie

Ronon: And doctor dessert

Team: Friends for dinner

Don't wanna be friends for dinner

Rodney: Don't wanna be genius a la mode

Sheppard: Or liver of doc

Todd: I wonder if this tastes good? Bites a citrus fruit

All: Yuck!

Rodney: You know you've run out of luck

Team: When you're friends for dinner!

Todd: Friends for dinner

Sheppard: Just friends for dinner

Team: Friends for dinner!

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AN: For those of you who like context, the song can be found on YouTube at /watch? v= 7V5SiblS5CI (eliminate the spaces).