Friends for Dinner
Summary: Todd has dinner guests. Slightly AU missing scene from "The Queen."
Disclaimer: While I do claim ownership of the story and the rewritten song lyrics, MGM owns the characters therein. Universal Studios owns the Land Before Time, which was the basis for this little script.
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Todd escorts his guests to a room with a table and lit candles. He instructs them to sit. Colonel Sheppard, Teyla, Ronon, Rodney, and Dr. Keller take their seats.
Todd: You'll have to forgive the bare table; it will be filled momentarily. The refreshments have been a bit delayed and I will see to them in a minute. You see, I am unaccustomed to having friends for dinner.
Todd smiles mischievously and leaves the room. The humans exchange nervous glances.
Rodney (nervously): Clever. 'Friends for dinner.' Not sure I like the sound of that.
Ronon: Me neither.
Music starts. Todd can be seen gathering various fruits and vegetables from the ship's hold.
Todd: Friends for dinner
I'm gonna have friends for dinner
I'm gonna get a couple of those and a couple of these
Things from the farmers' fields and things grown on trees
I think they're useless but I know they'll please
My friends for dinner
Team: Friends for dinner
Sheppard: He just wants to have friends for dinner
Rodney: He wants to have Runner soup
Ronon: And lieutenant colonel stew
Rodney: You won't think it's funny when he sucks on you
Sheppard: That's not a very nice thing to do
Team: To have friends for dinner
Keller: He can't eat vegetables or even meat
Sheppard: He'll siphon your life right down to your feet
Rodney: If he feeds on Sheppard, wouldn't that be enough?
Teyla: He would let go of Ronon, 'cause he's too tough!
Ronon: That's right!
Team: Friends for dinner
Don't wanna be friends for dinner
Teyla: We'd rather be lost in space
Rodney: Get chased by a bee
Sheppard: Sink Atlantis to the bottom of the sea
Team: One thing we know we don't wanna be
Is friends for dinner!
Ronon: He'll grab your chest
His nails will cut like knives
Sheppard: He can't be all bad
He did save my life
Ronon: He'll tear off your flesh
Keller: That must hurt
Rodney: Teyla pot pie
Ronon: And doctor dessert
Team: Friends for dinner
Don't wanna be friends for dinner
Rodney: Don't wanna be genius a la mode
Sheppard: Or liver of doc
Todd: I wonder if this tastes good? Bites a citrus fruit
All: Yuck!
Rodney: You know you've run out of luck
Team: When you're friends for dinner!
Todd: Friends for dinner
Sheppard: Just friends for dinner
Team: Friends for dinner!
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AN: For those of you who like context, the song can be found on YouTube at /watch? v= 7V5SiblS5CI (eliminate the spaces).
