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My first attempt at Renji-speak. (Please be kind!) And once again, a hearty thumbs up to Never Freedom.
(Renji POV)
Hope that it doesn't make me sound like a pansy-ass or something, but I've always kinda thought the rain was comforting. When I feel like crap, 's like the rain identifies with me. Feelin' guilty, it'll clean me up, wash away my mistakes. Feel…anything, really, and the rain's good company. Ya can't really feel alone with the rain all around ya, or at least that's what I say.
But for some reason, it haunts you. Makes y'look like you saw death. Wanted it, even. When it rains, ya make this face like you've made yer last mistake. On a normal day, I'd probably make fun a' ya—say, "That face makes ya look like a pathetic weakling bastard," or somethin' like that. And you'd get all flustered and mad, tryna tell me off, comin' at me in your shikai like some freaky shit juggernaut. Then you'd try ta prove me wrong 'n make me take back what I said. But I got this feeling that ya wouldn't on these days, and I ain't the guy to kick a man when he's down.
It's an angry face, no doubt. But not the kind of angry that made ya wanna tear up Seireitei to save someone's life. Or the kinda anger y'can stop by changin' the world, like ya always try to do. 'S like you're furious at yourself and furious that there ain't nothing ya can do 'bout it. A weird, tired anger. It swallows ya whole and ya take it in instead a' exploding out like ya usually do. Kinda creepy t'see ya so quiet.
It worries me, y'know? How does just the rain bring you down? 'Cause you ain't easy to beat—I should know outta everybody. I'm curious, but I ain't gonna ask ya why. There's probably a reason why I don't—or shouldn't know. I know you got a whole lotta pride. I won't step on it even when ya won't admit you're hurt. 'S all your business, and I got no place to prod ya with stupid questions.
So no, you don't got to tell me why you're crying right now in front of me. Or huggin' yourself like it's yer only way to get a grip. Or sittin' out in the rain ya hate, without an umbrella, almost like ya wanna catch a cold or one of those human virus things. Maybe ya wanna think the rain hides those tears, but I ain't a fool. 'N I think you know that, too, 'cause now yer glarin' at me, like ya think I'm gonna tell.
...Don't worry. I ain't gonna try and tell anyone. And I ain't gonna try to fix you either, 'cause I think that'd just insult ya. But what I will try to do is make it so ya can't look me in the eyes and tell me the rain ain't beautiful.
Y'look surprised that I kissed ya.
FIN
