A/N: I don't own The Twilight Saga or it's characters, they all belong to the lovely Stephenie Meyer. I just play with them.
I am from Denmark, so even if English is like second nature to me, there can be some spelling or grammar mishaps.
Please enjoy my first venture into fan fiction.
Breaking Dawn Edward POV
Chapter 1 Engaged
I sat at my piano, composing a new melody to my wedding. My wedding. I can't believe I'm engaged to be married to my precious Bella. I couldn't keep the grin of my face, even if I tried. I was so proud that she had finally agreed to be my wife, although not without a compromise. I frowned. I still couldn't wrap my mind around it. How was I supposed to have sex with Bella? I mean, I know the technical aspect of sex. God knows that's all the high school boy think about, so I know something even though I try to block it out. But how to do it with my very fragile human Bella was something else entirely. If only someone could tell me how to get ready to take that step, then maybe...
I trailed of when Esme came down the stairs. Such a beautiful melody she thought at me.
"Hello son."
"Hi Esme, is Alice done with you?"
"Just about, she's making the final adjustments to my dress now. You haven't been peeking now, have you Edward?"
"No Esme, I wouldn't dream of doing that, especially when the pixie has promised to thoroughly dismember me if I even try."
"You bet your ass I will" came the answer from Alice.
"Alice, language" Esme said, just as I chuckled. Alice breezed down the stairs just then and I stopped playing so I could talk to the girls properly.
"Sorry Esme, I didn't mean to say that out loud."
"Just the same Alice, it's not very lady like." Alice had the decency to look guilty.
"What are you up to today pixie?"
"If you must ask Edward, I'm about to head to Seattle to talk to a floweriest and then I'll be heading to Bella's for a fitting."
"Do you know how long it will take at Bella's?"
"No I don't."
I raised my eyebrow skeptically, after all, she could see the future.
"All right, all right. I'll be done at Bella's a little after 3pm. And yes, she's going to come and stay the night here. You know, that problem you keep thinking back and forth about?"
"Which problem?"
You know what, I won't say it out loud because first, it's not something to talk about when there is a parent nearby, and second Carlisle could tell you something about it from a professional point of view. "He is a doctor after all"
"Oh" was my genius answer. Of course, I could talk to Carlisle about anything. If anyone can help me, it's him. "Esme, where is Carlisle?"
"He's at the hospital dear. There was some paperwork he needed to finish. He should be there for a couple of hours. Do you need to talk to him?"
"Yes I do, will you call and tell him I'm on my way to see him? Bye mom and Alice."
I ran out the door and flew into my car and drew down the driveway before they could even answer. I hit the highway in just under 2 minutes and floored it. While I drove, I thought back to the day we told our families.
We had just told Charlie about our engagement, to say he was thrilled would be an overstatement, but he took it ok in the end, the only thing he had to say was, that we, or Bella really, should tell Renée. So Bella and I went out in the kitchen to call Renée about the news while Charlie sat in the living room feeling smug, judging by his thoughts. There's no way she will agree to it, she has drilled in to Bella that marriage is not something one should when you are young. HA. I had to admit, I was a little nervous, but only a little.
Bella was chewing her bottom lip while we waited for Renée to pick up the phone. She looked so cute when she did that, it was one of her endearing habits she had when she was nervous or feeling insecure. Finally Renée picked up the phone as I went to lean against the counter top.
"Hello?"
"Hi mom"
"Hi Bella how are you?"
"I-I-I'm fine" Bella stuttered and her heart rate picked up a little.
"Bella are you sure you're ok? You sound a little nervous."
I let out a snort. A little? Try a lot, she was beginning to sweat, it was highly amusing. Bella scowled at me and mouthed not funny.
"Well mom, I have some news."
What is it honey."
"Ehm..." was Bella's answer as her heart rate picked up yet again, I was beginning to get a little worried. I went over to her and put an arm around her, just as Charlie decided to join us. He leaned up against the doorway and looked on in open amusement. She took a deep breath and I kissed the top of her head as encouragement, closing my eyes breathed in the essence of my existence.
"M-m-mom, I'm m-m-marrying Edward" she choked out and then held her breath for the ax to fall. Oh here it comes, Renée's going to be so angry now Charlie thought. And then the world turned upside down.
"Well Bella, I'm A little miffed that you waited so long to tell me. Plane tickets only get more expensive. Oooh, do you think Phil's cast will be of by then? It will spoil the pictures if he's not in a tux-"
"Back up a second mom," Bella gasped while gapping at me. Who would have thought Renée was this accepting to our news. I was beginning to feel a little giddy. Charlie on the other hand, was beginning to get confused. He couldn't understand what was going on, it was not the reaction he was expecting. "What do you mean, waited so long? I just got en-en...things settled, you know, today." I looked at Bella confused, couldn't she say the word engaged? I would have to ask her about it later.
"Today? Really? That is a surprise. I assumed..." WHAT. My brain stopped functioning momentarily.
"What did you assume? When did you assume?" Bella asked the million dollar question on both our minds, even though I couldn't hear hers, I could read it on her face. It clearly said explain please.
And Renée did just that. " Well, when you came to visit me in April, it looked like things were pretty much sewn up, if you know what I mean. You're not very hard to read, sweetie," you got that right. Well except for her mind, she is very easy to read when you know her well. But I hadn't picked anything up from Renée that she somehow knew, we would marry soon, when we came to Jacksonville, to escape Victoria. "But I didn't say anything because I knew it wouldn't do any good. You're exactly like Charlie. Once you make up your mind, there is no reasoning with you. Of course, exactly like Charlie, you stick by your decisions, too."
Bella looked like she was reeling. This went against anything she's been told and what she knew about her mother.
"You're not making my mistakes, Bella. You sound like you're scared silly, and I'm guessing it's because you're afraid of me. Of what I'm going to think," she giggled. Well she had a point. Bella was scared of Renée and I understood that. But Bella didn't look like she was scared anymore, her eyes was a big as saucers and locked on mine. She had just understood something Renée had said, but I don't know what. What wouldn't I give to see into her mind. Oh no. No no no no. Not that...betrayer...see it in her face...my girl...Charlie's thoughts hit me like a freight train, I couldn't make anything out of what he was thinking, like usually when he was stressed or emotionally, I could only pick out small things. But what I heard was enough to give me a little hope, and a tiny smile was beginning to tuck on the side of my mouth.
" And I know I've said a lot of things about marriage and stupidity - and I'm not taking it back - but you need to realize that those things specifically applied to me. You're a completely different person than I am. You make your own kind of mistakes, and I'm sure you'll have your share of regrets in life. But commitment was never your problem, sweetie. You have a better chance of making this work than most forty-year-olds I know. My little middle-aged child. Luckily, you seem to have found another old soul." She had no idea of how right she is, and I'm beginning to comprehend that she is accepting our early marriage. My smile slowly got bigger and I could see the corners of Bella's mouth beginning to turn up also. But she was still apprehensive.
"You're not...mad? you don't think I'm making a humongous mistake?" she said in disbelieve.
"Well, sure, I wish you'd wait a few more years," which is impossible. It's one of the things Bella didn't want. She had clearly stated that she didn't want to be more than 19, if I was to be a teenager forever, so would she. I could understand that to some extent, but I still wanted so much more for Bella. She would miss out on so much life, it still saddens me that she is so willing to throw it away like that, but I've accepted it. It doesn't mean I have to like it though. "I mean, do I look old enough to be a mother-in-law to you? Don't answer that," I actually chuckled at that and judging by Bella's amused expression, she was about to laugh to. "But this isn't about me. This is about you. Are you happy?" Please say yes, my love.
Bella's brow furrowed. Oh ohh, was all I could think. "I don't know. I'm having an out-of-body experience right now." Phew. So it wasn't about me. She was trying to figure out this new Renée, it wasn't how she expected her to react.
Renée chuckled at that and asked the most important questions. "Does he make you happy, Bella?"
"Yes, but-"
"Are you ever going to want anyone else?"
"No, but-"
"But what?"
"But aren't you going to say that I sound exactly like every other infatuated teenager since the dawn of time?" I had to admit I didn't understand Renée either at that time, but apparently she was turning a new leaf with the whole marriage thing.
"You've never been a teenager, sweetie. You know what's best for you."
"So you're fine with us getting married?" Everyone in the kitchen held their breath.
"Yes I am," Bella and I exhaled in relief while Charlie exhaled in defeat. He had practically counted on Renée to say no, but no such luck. I hugged Bella to me and kissed her forehead.
"Thanks mom, it means a lot to me and Edward, I have to hang up now so we can tell Edwards family the news. I have Alice call you with the wedding details."
"Alice? Edwards sister?"
"Yes. She's our wedding planner, she's the only one that knows beside you and dad."
"Ok honey. Have you sat a date yet?"
Bella looked into my eyes as she answered, "August 13."
"Well that was quick. Are you pregnant?" Bella looked positively mortified, and gave me a look that clearly said I told you so.
"No mom, we just want to be married before college."
"I had to ask. Have a good day, sweetie. And congratulations. Bye."
"Bye mom," Bella smiled as she hung up the phone and I picked her up and twirled her around, before stopping and giving her a kiss. Totally forgetting that Charlie was watching.
I smiled as I made my way into the hospital parking lot. I walked casually up to the desk station, the nurse that sat behind the desk looked up and immediately began to fantasize while a light flush rose to her cheeks. My oh my, look at that body. Maybe I could talk him into coming with me to the changing rooms and get him naked so I could suck his-. I immediately blocked her thoughts out trying my best not to show my distaste of her.
"Is Dr. Cullen in?" I asked as polite as I could.
"He certainly is," I wish he was inside me. He is so hot, I've tried just about anything to get in his pants, but he loves his damn wife too much to notice. "Who, may I ask, is seeking him?"
"Tell him, his son, Edward, is here to talk to him," his son? Wow. If I hitch up with junior here, it's only a matter of time before I get yummy Cullen, maybe a threesome with farther and son. One inside me while I suck the other of...mhh I can practically feel them working on me. I actually winced at that. Disgusting. I shaked it of so I could focus on what she was saying to me.
"Your farther is in his office, would you like me to show you the way?" she asked a little to hopeful. Her thoughts where getting more and more disgusting, not to mention impossible. Apparently she was also new to faculty because I haven't seen her here before.
"No that's fine. I know my way around here, my fiancé is a frequent visitor at the ER. Maybe you know her? Bella Swan? The police chiefs daughter."
"No I don't know her. You can go right in. Have a nice day," she answered in a clipped tone. It's all ways the good looking ones that gets taken first. I nodded my thanks and headed for Carlisle's office.
Hello son, I'll be done in a second. "That's ok Carlisle, I just need to ask you something and get you advise." I was nervous, this was not something that I would be comfortable with asking. This was something way to private, but I needed the information he could give me. Besides, I would rather ask him than my brothers, they would only tease me. Well Emmet would tease me, Jasper would just boost him a little.
"Sounds serious. Are you ok? You look like you would rather pass out, than be here. What's the matter?" how do I even begin to answer that. True I do feel like I could pass out any second.
"Erm...As you know I'm getting married in a little over 3 weeks."
"Yes I know. I'm so happy for you, that you have finally found your mate. And Bella is such a gentle and lovely soul. But that is surely not why you are nervous, is it?"
"No, not at all. It's just that, after the wedding we would like to go on a honeymoon. A real honeymoon."
"Oh, you mean..." you want to have sex on your honeymoon with Bella.
"Yes, while she's still human. That's the one condition that she wanted, when she agreed to marry me. She wants that last human experience before I turn her."
"So your both virgins then?" If could blush I would have. I was completely mortified over the directness Carlisle asked that question. All I could do was nod.
"And you want to know what it's like?" Again I nod. I cleared my throat, I don't know why, but it seemed like a good idea.
"Yes, I could use some information. I mean, I know the technical aspect of s-s-sex," why was I stuttering? "But it would be helpful if I know what to expect."
"Ah. As Bella is human, she is so much weaker then you not to mention fragile, so you have be careful as it could be very dangerous for her. I have faith in you, that you know your own strength and you use that to keep a hold on yourself. As you know with first penetration at girls, there will be a little blood," I nodded, but it wouldn't be a problem for me, not anymore. "It's a special thing, physical love, very powerful and it is not to be treated lightly. We vampires rarely change temperaments and strong emotions can alter us in permanent ways. But you don't need to worry about that, Bella has already changed you completely."
Yes my Bella has changed me in many ways. "Carlisle what would you suggest we do to prepare ourselves for this? We have different body temperatures and she is very fragile, next to me."
"I would suggest that you learn each others body's, so that you both know what to do and what not to do," he wasn't meaning- was he?
"You don't mean...," I trailed of, I couldn't bring myself to say it out loud.
"Mutual masturbation, yes. Edward, it's the only way I can think of that could help you. If your desperate you could all ways ask Tanya or the other Denali's."
I growled at the last comment, that would not happen. But the other thing I would have to ask Bella about.
"As for the temperature. Well that's not something we can do anything about. I would suggest that you go somewhere warm so it would be more comfortable for Bella. Hmm." Yes somewhere warm, tropical warmth would be the best, so the honeymoon would have to be in the south and it would have to be isolated if something should happen. My head snapped up.
"Isle Esme," I breathed.
"Yes, it is the ideal place and it's isolated. So you'll have plenty of privacy. I'll talk to Esme about it when I get home." He glanced at his watch and thought, I have a patient to attend to in a few minutes. Why don't you go home and talk to Bella about it, after all, it does concern her to. Maybe she has some ideas as to how to go about it, she does get some bright ideas from time to time.
"Yes not to mention dangerous," I answered. He chuckled at that. "See you at home dad."
As I walked out to my car, I couldn't help but feel more at ease with myself. A major question had been answered that had bugged me since we told our families we were engaged. By the time I drove from the hospital I had a big smile on my face, when I thought about my family's reaction to the news.
Well the difficult part was over, I knew my family wouldn't be against this. I just hope that Alice hasn't told anyone yet, after all, when we left earlier to have some private time, Alice was yelling for Esme. As I drove up the winding path to my house, Bella's heart began to beat quicker.
"Relax love. You know they all love you, you don't have anything to worry about."
Bella let out a delicate snort, "Edward, I know they all love me, with the exception of Rosalie."
"Then why are you nervous? They are not going to protest about us getting married like we thought your mom and dad would. Sure they don't know we're engaged, well of course Alice knows, but the others are not sure we are yet." I was actually curios to know why. There was no reason to it that she should be. I know that Rose doesn't like her, but she's happy that I'm happy.
"You know why Edward. I hate being in the spotlight."
I let out a short laugh and then stopped when I saw Bella's furious expression. "Sorry love, I didn't mean to laugh at you. I know you hate it, but they love you and they won't embarrass you."
"I know they love me and I love them too. But I don't agree with you that they won't embarrass me, Emmet has made it a habit to all ways be there when I trip, or do something equally stupid. That or he points out something or make a comment that has me blushing to my roots."
As we drove up to the garage, I forgot that everyone was home and in hearing distance when I said, "I actually find your blush quite endearing and attractive, it shows that you mean what you say, even if it does embarrass you." The blush in her cheeks deepened and I couldn't resist leaning over and give her a kiss. The kiss stopped abruptly when Emmet's rather loud guffaws could be heard from the main house. Bella went deep red so fast that I thought all of her blood now was in her face.
Come on Edward, you can kiss her later, I haven't said anything to Esme, just that I needed her help with planning a celebration at the end of summer. Please hurry up and get in here, Jasper has already asked me too many times what there was up with me, since I am so exited. A slow smile spread on my face on the news, that only Alice knew about our engagement.
"We'll be right in Alice. Come my love, let's talk to the family," I said in a normal voice, knowing the pixie and everyone inside could hear me.
We went to the house and I held the door open for Bella, like the perfect gentleman I was.
"Could everyone please come to the living room? Bella and I would like to tell you something," everyone was there in a blink of an eye, curiosity plain in their faces and their thoughts. Well except in Alice's.
I looked at my family before us and thought about just how right it was to have Bella included, she has tied our family together like never before.
"What is it son?" Carlisle asked.
"As you all know Bella and I love each other very much. Two days before the battle against Victoria and her newborn army, I proposed to Bella," the silence was deafening, both verbal and mental. And then everybody thought the same thing, well?. I let them wait a few moments while they anticipated the answer. Come on brother dear, tell them or I will. I looked sharply at Alice and shook my head.
"It gives me great pleasure to tell you all, that Bella has accepted."
Everyone let out yells at triumph and happiness, we got congratulated and asked when the wedding was to be.
"The wedding will take place here at august 13. Alice has graciously accepted to plan the wedding-" I was interrupted when there came a snort from Bella.
"Graciously accepted?" Bella asked incredulously. "More like demanded," when everybody looked questioning at Bella, she clarified. "She pulled the lost puppy dog trick, with big eyes and trembling lips."
Everyone laughed as Alice grumbled, "I wasn't that bad."
Well if she has to be in the family, I might as well be a little more receiving towards her, Rose thought. Hmm, now is as good time as any. Carlisle thought made me look at him questioning. The Cullen Crest, son. I smiled, my Bella would be so glad to receive it and she would feel like she belong to the family, even if she wasn't a vampire...yet.
Carlisle breezed up to his office and back. "Bella, come here please." Bella walked over to Carlisle and he looked at her, the way a father would look at his daughter. "I have waited a long time to present this to you. I have given everyone in my family this. It gives me great pleasure to finally include you in my family." He handed Bella the small jewel box. We all had smiles on our faces and Alice was hopping up and down while holding her hands in front of her mouth, clearly happy, when Bella opened the box with her new necklace in it. "The Cullen Crest," she breathed in awe and enfolded Carlisle in a hug.
"Welcome to the family, my daughter."
I walked into the main house and knew immediately, that Bella was here because of her heartbeat. I could also smell the horrid stench of human food, hmm, she must be in the kitchen. She was there, munching on some light lunch, while Esme and Alice was pouring over some color schemes to the wedding. Bella looked pretty bored and like she would love to be anywhere then there.
I decided to rescue her, so I could talk to her privately. Alice let out a little annoyed sigh, that I doubt Bella could hear.
"Hello girls." Bella looked up so fast, that she might have had a whiplash. I walked over to her and cupped her cheek.
"Hey," she said softly and leaned in to my touch. I leaned forward and gave her a soft kiss to her sweet lips. Before I could deepen it, Alice cleared her voice loudly. I rested my forehead to Bella's for a couple of seconds and breathed in her heavenly scent deeply, before I went to stand behind her to enfold her in my arms, so she could continue to eat.
When she was done, we sat and cuddled in the love-seat in the living room. Alice and Esme had vanished to the old cottage in the woods, that would be our house away from the family, when we got back from the honeymoon and after her change.
I tried to muster up the courage to talk to Bella about the sex thing. I was so nervous about how she would take the fact, that I was even considering asking her about...
"Bella?" I asked hesitantly. She looked up at me and captured me with her deep chocolate-brown pools, that spoke volumes of her trust and love for me.
"I would like to talk to you about the honeymoon," she perked up a little.
"Have you found out where we're going?"
"Yes I have, but I'm not going to tell you. It's a secret."
"Oh," she said and looked confused.
"Well it's actually the wedding night I want to talk about," she was about to interrupt, when I continued. "I'm not backing out, but I would like to ask you about an idea I had, that can maybe make it easier for me to be with you."
A slight blush was beginning to creep up her cheeks.
"What are you suggesting Edward?"
I fumbled with the words in my head, to try and make them into a sentence.
"Erm...it would be a great help to my self-control, if I knew how to touch you, without damaging you, while giving you pleasure," I finished rather embarrassing.
Bella's blush came on in full force, when it dawned on her what exactly I was asking her opinion on. Her eyes widened a little as she looked at me. "You mean..?" she asked quietly and ducked her head so her hair hid her face from me. A tell tale sign that she was embarrassed.
I tucked her hair behind her ear and turned her head so I could look at her.
"As I said, it mighthelp. I'm not going to push you to anything you don't feel comfortable with. I just wanted to know what you think." I didn't want to tell that it was Carlisle that had said it would help. That would be to mortifying for her.
"So what you ask is, that you would like to...practice...being intimate with me, to better help you?" Practice? Huh. I guess that was a good word for it, without sounding harsh. I looked at Bella and nodded. She was quiet for a long time as she processed the information.
Then she looked back at me with determination in her eyes.
"Ok Edward. If we practice, I think it would be beneficial for the both of us."
I furrowed my brow. "How so?" I asked.
"We would both learn about each others bodies, not to mention we would find out what to do, and what not do. I think it could help us in the long run, if we know how we react to certainty...stuff," she finished of lamely and embarrassed.
I smiled and hugged her close to my side. It was getting dark outside.
"I should probably take you home now, love."
"No, Alice fixed it with Charlie that I would stay here to tomorrow. But don't worry, we won't be doing any practicing tonight. I would be uncomfortable and embarrassed knowing they can listen to everything we do. Besides I don't want to give Emmet any more ammo for him to tease me about." Oh yeah, Alice said Bella would stay the night.
"That's ok. And I agree. This is something we should do when it is only us." I wouldn't mention to her that I planned on doing some research on the subject, by asking my brothers about what to do. Something I never thought I would do.
