Her Smile
I had to grow-up.
I didn't need Mustang to tell me over and over again. I was responsible for Al. He looked up to me, even more now that we lost everything. First our Mom and then I had to go and ruin it more by thinking I could bring her back. The worst sin an Alchemist can make is to try and bring someone to life who was meant to be dead.
Then I just had to drag him along with me on my mission to find the Philosopher's stone. Alphonse wouldn't have stayed behind with Winry and Pinako he would have followed and he would have found me. He would have yelled at me then he would have asked me why I did what I did.
I wouldn't know what to tell him, and so I had him come with me. I probably thought I could protect him – not a whole lot of people want to mess with a metal suite that can walk and talk. Most likely that is why they think he is the Fullmetal Alchemist and not myself. Stupid, really, but…I hide my flaw…Al can't…
That hurts the most. His soul is entombed in a ridiculous suite of armor while I was lucky. I only lost an arm and a leg…I got replacements, but Al can't. He's stuck in there until my mark is erased or he gets his body back. I want to get his body back more than anything. Even if I stay the way I am, I will be happy to see him smile and laugh and be….real
Being the oldest give me a lot of shit. Al can never do anything wrong. Not really, if anything happens its usually my fault. I'll get the shit for it and that'll be it. Mom always said for me to protect Al, not to let anything happen to me. I'm surprised she hasn't come to haunt me yet and wail on me for doing something so stupid for him to lose his body.
It isn't fair.
THAT must be what I am getting at. It wasn't fair. I should be the one in that suite, or better, I should be dead so that Al could have Mom back. If it had worked like that, than I wouldn't care. He'd have Mom to do all the motherly things Al has now grown to forget. He has forgotten…and it hurts him.
He once told me that he forgot how she smiled.
I should have told him, that he had her smile…
a/n – I just got into a fight with my bro. This is what I came up with!
