Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or the places- they're all J
K Rowlings
Rating: R (maybe a bit of an exaggeration but better safe than sorry right?) Summary: H/D slash. After a conversation with Harry Draco takes drastic measures to get him.
Draco
I turned the page of my potions textbook pretending to read, my eyes fixed firmly on the boy at the other side of the hall.
How did he do it? How did he manage to have my attention without even trying?
Stupid git. How dare he. How dare he sit there all innocent and unknowing when he was driving me crazy?
Because I couldn't have him; and I knew I wanted him.
I'd worked it out last May- that maybe the reason I obsessed so much over Harry Potter was not because I hated him but for another reason entirely.
And when I'd worked it out I was terrified- I couldn't work out how I'd gone from wanting to kill him to wanting to kiss him.
But eventually I'd got it - I'd always wanted him. It's just that all I wanted him as was a friend to begin with, offering him my help to show him the wrong sort.
But he'd refused me, his eyes telling me that he'd already found the wrong sort and the wrong sort was me.
It had felt like a kick in the gut at the time; no-one refused a Malfoy.or at least no-one had refused a Malfoy before.
And I'd sworn that no-one would again.
And nobody had.except him.
Everytime I saw him there was rejection in his eyes. It was in the way he walked and the way he spoke and in the way he shoved his messy black hair out of his damn green eyes everytime he was thinking and.
I slammed my fist against the table in anger. Everything on it shuddered with the strength of the blow.
Despite myself my eyes flickered again over to the Gryffindor table; to him. He was staring off into space, as he had been everytime I'd looked at him recently.
My breath caught in my throat as he absentmindedly twirled a fork in his hand. What I would give to be that fork.
I groaned inwardly and forced myself to look away. How pathetic was I? I, Draco Lucius Malfoy, heir to a fortune beyond any of these idiots' wildest dream, son of a Death Eater and the object of half of Hogwarts' desire was wishing that I was a spoon.
I snorted, if my father could hear me now. I stared at him again, watching as he glanced at Weasly.
Jealousy flooded through me and I inwardly kicked myself. Honestly.the day Potter looked at the Weasel was the day when I.
It wouldn't happen so there was no point even entertaining the idea.
I hated all this. It was so unfair; who decided to put me through this?
In what way could this be considered fair or enjoyable. Everywhere I looked he was there- every time I closed my eyes he was all I could see. And he didn't have a clue.
I stood up abruptly, shoving my chair backwards so that it collided with the wall with a loud crash.
Nobody at the Slytherin table glanced up at me as I stormed out and no one even bothered considering whether to come after me; they would have regretted it if they had done and they knew that only too well.
Harry
'Typical Malfoy.' Ron sent a glare after him as the blonde Slytherin stalked from the room.
I glanced at him distractedly. 'What's that Ron?'
'Malfoy.' He nodded his head towards the door. 'Can't do anything without trying to attract the most attention.'
Hermione gave a small smile. 'Well he got it didn't he?'
Ron frowned and opened and closed his mouth several times looking vaguely like a goldfish.
Normally the sight would have made it extremely hard to hide a grin but I couldn't even summon the will to smile.
I hadn't been able to for what felt like a very long time.ever since.
I looked over at the Hufflepuff table, at the empty seat where Cedric used to sit.
Everybody blamed me and I couldn't fault them that; I blamed me.
"Kill the spare."
I shuddered as the ice cold voice echoed through my head making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. 'HARRY!'
My attention jerked back to Ron who was fuming in exasperation.
'What?' From the glare on his face I guessed that that hadn't been the first time he'd called my name. 'Sorry.' I apologised quickly before we could fall out. 'I was just thinking.'
The look of anger fled from Ron's face and he and Hermione exchanged looks.
I sighed inwardly, steeling myself for the serious discussion I knew would follow. It invariably did when they did the look.
'Harry,' Hermione said softly, 'are you ok?'
'I'm fine.' Their eyes flitted to each other.
'Are you sure?' She pressed. 'It's just.'
'It's just what?' I said suspiciously.
'Lately you've seemed a bit.' she struggled to find the right word, '.distracted.'
'Mione I'm fine.' I insisted again, my voice sounding slightly less warm even to my own ears. '
Harry! You're not- you don't smile, you barely eat, you can't sleep and if you do then you wake up screaming- you're on the verge of cracking.'
She looked at me desperately; her eyes full of worry and fear.for me.
A thread of guilt wove its way through my anger. All I did was cause people pain.
That was my life; pain, worry and death. But it was never my own death; it was always someone else.
Someone else trying to protect me, or save me or simply being there at the same time as me and being caught in the crossfire.
If it wasn't for me Cedric wouldn't be dead.
'Harry,' Hermione's voice was pleading. 'Please just talk to us.'
I hesitated; for a second I was tempted. I wanted to pour my heart out to Hermione's sympathetic ears; to tell her about the nightmares, about the memories, the truth of what had really happened the previous year and about the fear of who would be the next casualty in Voldemort's quest to kill me.
But only for a second. I smiled sadly at her. 'There's nothing to talk about.'
Draco
I slammed the door to my room as hard as I could. 'Get out my head Potter'
I kicked my bed pretending it was him, uncaring of the pain that shot up my leg.
'Leave me alone.' I jumped onto my bed face down, expecting my head to land on my soft pillow. Instead I got a mouthful of paper.
I sat up quickly, Harry forgotten for the moment, picking up the envelope that lay on my pillow.
Only one word was written on the front in flowing writing- my name.
I recognised the writing immediately- it was that of my father's.
Ice spread through my veins.
When my father contacted me only one thing was certain- it would not be good news.
Per usual I toyed with the idea of leaving the letter unread; the seal unbroken. For once I had read the message it could not be taken back.
But I knew that whatever it was I would find out eventually and this way I had more time to prepare myself.
I reached for the cream envelope, running my fingers over the green outline of my name.
Steeling myself, I broke the wax seal on the back of the envelope and took out the piece of parchment, unfolding it slowly.
Draco By the time this letter reaches you I will be dead. I only hope it reaches you. The aurors are already in the manor. It is only a matter of time before they break down the barriers to this room. I will not surrender. A Malfoy never surrenders. Our name will not be dragged through the mud whilst I still draw breath. It falls to you to complete the task our Dark Lord has given me. You know of what it is that I speak. At Christmas you will receive the Dark Mark. I have arranged it.
Farewell my son. Do not disappoint me. Your father.
My nails dug into the palm of my hand, drawing blood instantly.
Dead.
The word screamed through every fibre of my body.
He was dead.
The letter fell from my hand, catching fire instantly and landing on the floor as nothing but dust.
Like my father would be.
Dust to dust, ashes to ashes.
I'd always known this day would come but I had never expected it to actually arrive.
My father was infallible; that's what I'd always been taught and what I had believed.
He wasn't the sort of man to just roll over dead.
He must have feared what the aurors could do to him. Whilst true a Malfoy never surrenders, it was also true that a Malfoy would do anything for self- preservation.
If he would rather face death than life then the situation must have been beyond imagination.
But it was the risk that all Death Eaters took- the risk he had arranged for me to take.
Oh God.
The truth hit me. Not only was my father dead but I was to be forced to become a servant of the Dark Lord.
I was going to become a slave of the worst kind- and my only reward was my life and taking those of others. I didn't want that.
I unclenched my fists; the blood was running down my wrists and dripping onto the floor in crimson splashes.
I don't know how long I'd been standing there but the stiffness in my legs told me it had been a long time.
It was too much; I couldn't think about it; couldn't cope.
The room was pressing in on me, choking me and suffocating me with its oppression.
I had to get out of there. I couldn't take anymore of this. Before I had time to think about what I was doing I was out of my room, out of the dungeons in the darkness of the school corridors.
Everyone was asleep now; it was deep night and I was alone.or so I thought.
I bumped into something solid and tripped.
My hands grasped for something to keep me upright and I caught hold of a handful of material.
I couldn't see whatever it was but it was definitely there. I fell regardless only now something heavy landed on top of me, crushing all the breath out of my body.
I closed my eyes momentarily in pain, only to open them again as whatever the fuck was on top of me moved.
And what I saw nearly gave me a heart attack.
Harry Potter was lying on top of me gazing at me in shock.
'Potter!' I hissed.
Oh fuck. Harry Potter was lying on top of me.
Actually physically lying on top of me. I could feel his body pressed against mine and feel his breath on my cheek.
'Malfoy??' He said in disbelief.
The spell was broken. Nothing had changed.
I was still Draco Malfoy and he was still Harry Potter, golden boy pet of Dumbledore and the wizarding world's hero.
'Yes its me Potter now will you get the fuck off me?'
He blinked; still in shock.
I sighed. 'I haven't got all day Potter.'
I would have given anything to let him stay there for eternity but if it got out then what the hell would I do?
My father would kill m- No.
My father couldn't kill me; my father was dead. The realisation dawned on me slowly and I began to feel sick.
And he was still looking at me. I pushed him off me quickly, my heart beating painfully as I did so.
'What the hell's wrong with you Potter?' I snapped.
He looked confused momentarily. 'Wrong?'
'Yes Potter wrong. You remember that word don't you? Or has your stupidity finally exceeded all boundaries?'
He frowned. I was about to launch into a tirade when a familiar smell reached my nose.
'Are you drunk Potter?' I asked incredulously.
'Yeah. So?' Are you going somewhere with that? his eyes asked.
He looked different, moody, dark.sexy as hell. I shook the thought from my head.
'Cat got your tongue Malfoy?' He taunted.
I bit the inside of my cheek, trying desperately not to have any images involving tongues.
He'd somehow thrown the balance and now he was in control. 'Jesus,' he slurred, 'you're even more uptight than Hermione.'
'I take that as an insult coming from you Potter.'
'Well it wasn't exactly a compliment.' He produced a bottle from his robes. 'Care for a drink?'
There was a challenge in his eyes that I wasn't about to turn down. I grabbed the bottle and downed a quarter of it, feeling the effects hit me slightly almost instantly.
'Aww can't Draco hold his drink?' He asked tauntingly, looking completely unlike himself for a moment.
I laughed suddenly. 'Potter if I didn't know any better I'd think you were the Slytherin.'
I watched him, wondering if he'd take it as a compliment or an insult.
He smiled. 'I almost was.' I looked at him in shock.
'What?' 'The sorting hat wanted to put me in Slytherin.' He admitted. 'I told it I didn't want to be so it put me in Gryffindor.'
'Why the hell did you do that?'
'Ron told me that Slytherin was the worst house.'
'And you believe everything Weasly tells you?'
He looked at me. 'No.but I'd already met you. I didn't think that Slytherin was big enough for the both of us.'
This was typical- I'd messed up my own chance of being with him.
It would figure that I was the only person in the world so stupid as to- Why was he telling me all this anyway?
From the look in his eyes he was wondering the same thing.
'I've never told anyone any of that before.' He said softly, his brow furrowing in confusion.
I was beginning to feel slightly drunk. 'To think. All this time the golden boy's been a Slytherin at heart.'
In a second he had me by the neck pressing me against the wall. 'Don't call me that.' He hissed.
'What? A Slytherin?' I was trying to follow the sudden 360 turnaround.
He glared at me 'The "golden boy". You don't know me Malfoy. You don't know me at all. All you know is some image that everyone projects. You don't know what I'm really like. You don't know what I've been through. You don't know all the things that have happened because of me.'
His grip had relaxed and he seemed close to tears.
'Why don't you tell me then.'
He stared at me suspiciously. 'How stupid do you think I am Malfoy? You really think I'm just going to tell you everything so you have more things to take the piss out of me for? You think I'm that stupid?'
I looked at him calmly, feeling nothing like my normal self and more relaxed than I had done in years. 'You're not the only one who isn't what everyone thinks you are.Harry.'
His eyes widened slightly and he slowly removed his hands from my neck.
For a long time there was silence but finally he sighed and settled on the floor.
'What do you want to know?'
I didn't need to think. 'Everything.'
And out it all came about what exactly had happened last year.
About Cedric's death and about how Voldemort had been resurrected and the Death Eaters called back to him. He told me about his battle with Voldemort and when all the spirits of the dead came to urge him on.
'And there were all those people counting on me- all those faces round me telling me not to fail. That's my life. Either I live and let someone else die on my account or I die and let everyone die with me. Whatever I do it will never save everyone; and Voldemort's never going to stop until I'm dead. He's not going to stop until everyone's dead. He's the most powerful wizard in the world and I.I'm going to die.'
'Don't say that.' I snapped.
'Why not? It's true.'
'No it's not! Voldemort's tried to kill you.what, 5 times? He's failed every time. And that's not down to sheer luck or a series of flukes. It's because you're a great wizard. It's because you're special.'
'But I'm not.'
'No? How many other wizards can say they've come face to face with Voldemort and survived the experience? None. And you've done it time and time again. You're not the Boy Who Lived- you're the Boy who Fucking Refuses to Die. And you're not going to give up now.'
He looked at me intently and then started laughing.
'What?' I asked suspiciously.
'Nothing- I just never figured you to be the pep-talk type.'
'That wasn't a pep-talk.'
'No? What was it then? Did you learn it in "charm your enemy into submission" classes?'
I tried to fight back a blush. 'It's just not your style to be so defeatist Potter- doesn't suit you.'
He carried on laughing and then stopped suddenly, staring at his hands. 'Malfoy.your father was there. I don't know if you knew that or.'
'I didn't know.' I answered.
I probably could have guessed but my father never told me anything he didn't need to.
'I just thought someone should tell you- you have the right to know.'
'Well its not like it matters anymore.'
He frowned. 'What do you mean?'
'My father's dead.'
His eyes bored into mine. 'I'm sorry.'
'No you're not.' He didn't look sorry.
'No. I'm not.' He admitted. 'He deserved to die.'
The words hit me like a fist. I still couldn't believe he was gone.
'But.' he gave me a serious look. 'Maybe you didn't deserve him dying.'
I gaped at him; unable to believe he'd just said what he said. 'Were you just nice to me Potter?'
'No.' He said quickly. 'I just.I know what it feels like to lose a parent.or both of them.'
'Ironic really.' I raised an eyebrow. 'Your parents were killed by the forces of darkness and my father was killed by the forces of light.'
His brow furrowed. 'What happened?'
'The aurors- I don't know how yet. But I guess I know why now.' At his confused look I clarified. 'He was there when Diggory died wasn't he- a proven Death Eater.'
'But Fudge didn't believe me.'
'You think the aurors listen to Fudge- give them more credit Potter. They know what's true and what's not.'
'But there weren't any there when I told Dumbledore.oh.' He got it.
'Dumbledore can never keep his mouth shut.' I said lightly.
'So your father died because of me.' Harry said quietly. 'Just like Cedric.'
'Don't be stupid. Diggory didn't die because of you.'
'Malfoy- I told him to take the cup with me- if it hadn't been for me then he'd still be alive.'
'Potter listen- you were doing what you thought was right. If he'd taken the cup then he'd still be dead only no-one would know why and his parents would never have got his body back. At least the fact that you were only half noble and wanted at least part of the glory had some benefits.'
He looked faintly amused. 'Where do you come up with this stuff?'
I shrugged.
'And I didn't want part of the glory; it's called compromising Malfoy. Maybe you should try it sometime.'
I spoke without thinking. 'Why? Didn't get you very far.'
Instantly I wished I'd kept my big mouth shut. I'd pushed too far.
'Forget I said that.'
'No point- what's said is said and at least you're being honest. Besides,' he smirked at me, 'I did give you the perfect opening.'
Silence fell between us. 'I better go.' Harry said eventually, stumbling slightly as he got to his feet.
'Yeah me too. See you around.Harry.'
He smiled slightly. 'Wow. We managed an entire conversation without killing each other. And you didn't bore me to death; Its almost a shame it has to end now.'
'Why does it?'
It wasn't a naïve question- I knew exactly why we couldn't be friends but I knew damn well that I'd face the consequences if it only meant we could be.
'We might both be playing parts but that's the way it has to be.' He said slowly.
'Why?' I forced out.
'Because I'm Harry Potter and you're Draco Malfoy; I'm a Gryffindor and you're a Slytherin. That's how its meant to be.'
I clenched my jaw as hard as I could and nodded slowly. Jaw firm, I raised my head and looked him in the eyes.
'In that case,' I said coldly. 'Get the hell out of my way Potter.'
I stalked away before he could reply, my heart beating faster than I thought was possible.
If only.
If only life had turned out differently- if only we weren't such different people.
'Because I'm Harry Potter and you're Draco Malfoy; I'm a Gryffindor and you're a Slytherin. That's how its meant to be.'
'If only.' I whispered as his voice floated through my head.
'The Sorting Hat wanted to put me in Slytherin.'
'I wish it had done.' A thought occurred to me; what if it had done?
If Harry had been in Slytherin then we could have been friends.we could have been more than friends.
But it was too late now. The past had happened and there was no way to change it.
Or was there? A plan began to form in my mind.
Snape had told us a long time ago that he could teach us to "stopper death".
What was that if not messing with time?
And if it was possible to suspend time then surely it was possible to turn it back and alter it.
I thought quickly- was there any potion that allowed time travelling?
If there was then it would surely be a Dark Art and such not in any book in school.
But the manor was a different question.
I had thought desperately of every book in the manor that I had ever seen and after finally remembering a book of potions on time manipulation had summoned it straight out from under the Aurors noses.
And now it was in front of me.
And I had found a potion.
It would allow me to travel back in time to alter one event and then reality would be altered to fit the consequences of the altered event.
At any point during the new reality, the alteration could be taken back by saying the spell written at the bottom of the page.
The potion was complicated but my desperation made me confident of my ability to create it.
Getting the ingredients however would mean breaking into Snape's personal store which I was fairly certain carried the equivalent of a death penalty.
But if it worked.then no-one would ever know.
And if it didn't...the death of my father would guarantee I was just considered mad with grief and unaware of my actions.
So I did it. I stole the ingredients and brewed the potion, aware that any small mistake would poison me.
But I finished it and it glowed a dark green colour in the dark room as I stared at it, considering ironically that this probably was not what my father had meant when he had said not to disappoint him.
I took a deep breath and dipped a goblet into the potion.
'Here goes nothing.' I said, trying not to think about how likely it was that I had made this potion incorrectly.
'Goodbye world.' I murmured, downing the goblet in one go.
The bitter taste made me gag but I quickly walked over to the book and read the spell aloud.
'What time has let come to pass
Let me now take back
And time itself will turn around
And be set on a different track.'
'Fuck.' I muttered as the world swayed slightly. 'This is going to kill me.'
I waited with bated breath for something to happen.anything.
Nothing happened.
'Maybe I'm supposed to say something.' I muttered, stepping forward towards the book.
I stepped out of my body.
'Crap.' I said in surprise. 'It worked.'
Now what? What one event in the past could I change to make the world as I wanted it.
I could kill Ron but somehow I didn't think Harry would appreciate that.
I racked my brains.
'No.but I'd already met you. I didn't think that Slytherin was big enough for the both of us'.
Me.
I could change me.
I could change the way I'd come across to Harry the first time that I'd met him.
I cleared my throat, feeling like an idiot.
'I want to go back to the first time I met Harry.'
There was a sudden flash and there I was, standing in Madame Malkin's shop, gazing at myself and Harry talking.
Or at least myself talking and Harry listening.
I stepped closer, listening to what I was saying and watching the way Harry was disliking me more and more with each word I spoke.
Oh God. I wanted to shut myself up- but how?
'Silencio' I whispered at myself.
Undeterred my younger self continued talking.
I grimaced. Had I really said all that?
Ok. Think Draco think!
The younger me paused for breath and I took the opportunity to clap my hand over his mouth, hoping to stop the stream of words.
Instead I found myself in his body.
As quickly as possible I shut my mouth, trying to stop the dizziness flowing over me.
Harry looked at me, appearing slightly concerned.
'Are you alright?'
'Yeah I think so.' I looked directly at him.
'Sorry I never introduced myself did I? Draco Malfoy.' I stretched out a hand with a smile.
'Harry Potter.' He returned.
'Its nice to meet you Harry.' I tried to remember what the younger me had been talking about- brooms.
I couldn't make it seem like I'd suddenly become a different person. 'So do you play Quidditch Harry?'
He looked down at the floor. 'No.'
I felt the urge to sneer at him as my younger self battled for control of his body.
'It's a really great game to play.' I enthused. 'You'll love it.' I inwardly cheered at the surprised look on his face- that was not what he had been expecting me to say.
'What is it?' He asked hesitantly.
This time I struggled to hold back my younger self's retort. 'It's quite complicated but I'll give you a vague idea.'
I quickly outlined the rules and objectives of Quidditch.
I laughed at the confused look on his face. 'I told you it was complicated. But I'm sure you'll get the hang of it.' I hesitated. 'Maybe I could teach you to play it sometime.if you like.'
A smile spread across his face slowly. 'Really?'
I nodded enthusiastically. 'Sure.'
'You're done.' Madame Malkin told Harry.
He hopped off the stool. 'Well I guess I'll see you there.'
'Yeah, unless you want to get some ice-cream or something.'
He hesitated and looked over to the window where Hagrid was waiting.
'I'd like to but I have to go.'
I barely held back the Hagrid insult because both me and my younger self had the same opinion of the half-giant.
'Oh ok. Well I'll see you at Hogwarts.'
He smiled at me- the only time I'd seen Harry with a sincere smile on his face directed at me. 'See you.'
I gave him a small wave as he left the shop. Madame Malkin said something to me but I couldn't hear her.
'What?'
The word didn't come out of my mouth.
The objects around me suddenly began to melt into each other and they rearranged themselves into the scene of the Hogwarts' Great Hall.
What the hell was I doing here?
I hadn't asked to come here. A group of first years was ushered in by Professor McGonogall. I recognised myself and the other people in the crowd.
This was the Sorting Ceremony.
I understood now- I was watching the repercussions of my act.
I watched in silence as one by one the Sorting Hat placed the students in the houses.
And then was the one I'd been waiting for.
'Potter, Harry.'
He walked slowly up to the platform, looking as nervous as I remembered him doing.
I held my breath as the Sorting Hat was lowered onto Harry's head.
Please.
Please let this work.
There was a long pause and finally the hat opened its mouth.
'SLYTHERIN!'
And I was being drawn away from the scene.
Away from myself.and away from Harry.
Thanks for reading! Review pleeeeeeeeease.
Rating: R (maybe a bit of an exaggeration but better safe than sorry right?) Summary: H/D slash. After a conversation with Harry Draco takes drastic measures to get him.
Draco
I turned the page of my potions textbook pretending to read, my eyes fixed firmly on the boy at the other side of the hall.
How did he do it? How did he manage to have my attention without even trying?
Stupid git. How dare he. How dare he sit there all innocent and unknowing when he was driving me crazy?
Because I couldn't have him; and I knew I wanted him.
I'd worked it out last May- that maybe the reason I obsessed so much over Harry Potter was not because I hated him but for another reason entirely.
And when I'd worked it out I was terrified- I couldn't work out how I'd gone from wanting to kill him to wanting to kiss him.
But eventually I'd got it - I'd always wanted him. It's just that all I wanted him as was a friend to begin with, offering him my help to show him the wrong sort.
But he'd refused me, his eyes telling me that he'd already found the wrong sort and the wrong sort was me.
It had felt like a kick in the gut at the time; no-one refused a Malfoy.or at least no-one had refused a Malfoy before.
And I'd sworn that no-one would again.
And nobody had.except him.
Everytime I saw him there was rejection in his eyes. It was in the way he walked and the way he spoke and in the way he shoved his messy black hair out of his damn green eyes everytime he was thinking and.
I slammed my fist against the table in anger. Everything on it shuddered with the strength of the blow.
Despite myself my eyes flickered again over to the Gryffindor table; to him. He was staring off into space, as he had been everytime I'd looked at him recently.
My breath caught in my throat as he absentmindedly twirled a fork in his hand. What I would give to be that fork.
I groaned inwardly and forced myself to look away. How pathetic was I? I, Draco Lucius Malfoy, heir to a fortune beyond any of these idiots' wildest dream, son of a Death Eater and the object of half of Hogwarts' desire was wishing that I was a spoon.
I snorted, if my father could hear me now. I stared at him again, watching as he glanced at Weasly.
Jealousy flooded through me and I inwardly kicked myself. Honestly.the day Potter looked at the Weasel was the day when I.
It wouldn't happen so there was no point even entertaining the idea.
I hated all this. It was so unfair; who decided to put me through this?
In what way could this be considered fair or enjoyable. Everywhere I looked he was there- every time I closed my eyes he was all I could see. And he didn't have a clue.
I stood up abruptly, shoving my chair backwards so that it collided with the wall with a loud crash.
Nobody at the Slytherin table glanced up at me as I stormed out and no one even bothered considering whether to come after me; they would have regretted it if they had done and they knew that only too well.
Harry
'Typical Malfoy.' Ron sent a glare after him as the blonde Slytherin stalked from the room.
I glanced at him distractedly. 'What's that Ron?'
'Malfoy.' He nodded his head towards the door. 'Can't do anything without trying to attract the most attention.'
Hermione gave a small smile. 'Well he got it didn't he?'
Ron frowned and opened and closed his mouth several times looking vaguely like a goldfish.
Normally the sight would have made it extremely hard to hide a grin but I couldn't even summon the will to smile.
I hadn't been able to for what felt like a very long time.ever since.
I looked over at the Hufflepuff table, at the empty seat where Cedric used to sit.
Everybody blamed me and I couldn't fault them that; I blamed me.
"Kill the spare."
I shuddered as the ice cold voice echoed through my head making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. 'HARRY!'
My attention jerked back to Ron who was fuming in exasperation.
'What?' From the glare on his face I guessed that that hadn't been the first time he'd called my name. 'Sorry.' I apologised quickly before we could fall out. 'I was just thinking.'
The look of anger fled from Ron's face and he and Hermione exchanged looks.
I sighed inwardly, steeling myself for the serious discussion I knew would follow. It invariably did when they did the look.
'Harry,' Hermione said softly, 'are you ok?'
'I'm fine.' Their eyes flitted to each other.
'Are you sure?' She pressed. 'It's just.'
'It's just what?' I said suspiciously.
'Lately you've seemed a bit.' she struggled to find the right word, '.distracted.'
'Mione I'm fine.' I insisted again, my voice sounding slightly less warm even to my own ears. '
Harry! You're not- you don't smile, you barely eat, you can't sleep and if you do then you wake up screaming- you're on the verge of cracking.'
She looked at me desperately; her eyes full of worry and fear.for me.
A thread of guilt wove its way through my anger. All I did was cause people pain.
That was my life; pain, worry and death. But it was never my own death; it was always someone else.
Someone else trying to protect me, or save me or simply being there at the same time as me and being caught in the crossfire.
If it wasn't for me Cedric wouldn't be dead.
'Harry,' Hermione's voice was pleading. 'Please just talk to us.'
I hesitated; for a second I was tempted. I wanted to pour my heart out to Hermione's sympathetic ears; to tell her about the nightmares, about the memories, the truth of what had really happened the previous year and about the fear of who would be the next casualty in Voldemort's quest to kill me.
But only for a second. I smiled sadly at her. 'There's nothing to talk about.'
Draco
I slammed the door to my room as hard as I could. 'Get out my head Potter'
I kicked my bed pretending it was him, uncaring of the pain that shot up my leg.
'Leave me alone.' I jumped onto my bed face down, expecting my head to land on my soft pillow. Instead I got a mouthful of paper.
I sat up quickly, Harry forgotten for the moment, picking up the envelope that lay on my pillow.
Only one word was written on the front in flowing writing- my name.
I recognised the writing immediately- it was that of my father's.
Ice spread through my veins.
When my father contacted me only one thing was certain- it would not be good news.
Per usual I toyed with the idea of leaving the letter unread; the seal unbroken. For once I had read the message it could not be taken back.
But I knew that whatever it was I would find out eventually and this way I had more time to prepare myself.
I reached for the cream envelope, running my fingers over the green outline of my name.
Steeling myself, I broke the wax seal on the back of the envelope and took out the piece of parchment, unfolding it slowly.
Draco By the time this letter reaches you I will be dead. I only hope it reaches you. The aurors are already in the manor. It is only a matter of time before they break down the barriers to this room. I will not surrender. A Malfoy never surrenders. Our name will not be dragged through the mud whilst I still draw breath. It falls to you to complete the task our Dark Lord has given me. You know of what it is that I speak. At Christmas you will receive the Dark Mark. I have arranged it.
Farewell my son. Do not disappoint me. Your father.
My nails dug into the palm of my hand, drawing blood instantly.
Dead.
The word screamed through every fibre of my body.
He was dead.
The letter fell from my hand, catching fire instantly and landing on the floor as nothing but dust.
Like my father would be.
Dust to dust, ashes to ashes.
I'd always known this day would come but I had never expected it to actually arrive.
My father was infallible; that's what I'd always been taught and what I had believed.
He wasn't the sort of man to just roll over dead.
He must have feared what the aurors could do to him. Whilst true a Malfoy never surrenders, it was also true that a Malfoy would do anything for self- preservation.
If he would rather face death than life then the situation must have been beyond imagination.
But it was the risk that all Death Eaters took- the risk he had arranged for me to take.
Oh God.
The truth hit me. Not only was my father dead but I was to be forced to become a servant of the Dark Lord.
I was going to become a slave of the worst kind- and my only reward was my life and taking those of others. I didn't want that.
I unclenched my fists; the blood was running down my wrists and dripping onto the floor in crimson splashes.
I don't know how long I'd been standing there but the stiffness in my legs told me it had been a long time.
It was too much; I couldn't think about it; couldn't cope.
The room was pressing in on me, choking me and suffocating me with its oppression.
I had to get out of there. I couldn't take anymore of this. Before I had time to think about what I was doing I was out of my room, out of the dungeons in the darkness of the school corridors.
Everyone was asleep now; it was deep night and I was alone.or so I thought.
I bumped into something solid and tripped.
My hands grasped for something to keep me upright and I caught hold of a handful of material.
I couldn't see whatever it was but it was definitely there. I fell regardless only now something heavy landed on top of me, crushing all the breath out of my body.
I closed my eyes momentarily in pain, only to open them again as whatever the fuck was on top of me moved.
And what I saw nearly gave me a heart attack.
Harry Potter was lying on top of me gazing at me in shock.
'Potter!' I hissed.
Oh fuck. Harry Potter was lying on top of me.
Actually physically lying on top of me. I could feel his body pressed against mine and feel his breath on my cheek.
'Malfoy??' He said in disbelief.
The spell was broken. Nothing had changed.
I was still Draco Malfoy and he was still Harry Potter, golden boy pet of Dumbledore and the wizarding world's hero.
'Yes its me Potter now will you get the fuck off me?'
He blinked; still in shock.
I sighed. 'I haven't got all day Potter.'
I would have given anything to let him stay there for eternity but if it got out then what the hell would I do?
My father would kill m- No.
My father couldn't kill me; my father was dead. The realisation dawned on me slowly and I began to feel sick.
And he was still looking at me. I pushed him off me quickly, my heart beating painfully as I did so.
'What the hell's wrong with you Potter?' I snapped.
He looked confused momentarily. 'Wrong?'
'Yes Potter wrong. You remember that word don't you? Or has your stupidity finally exceeded all boundaries?'
He frowned. I was about to launch into a tirade when a familiar smell reached my nose.
'Are you drunk Potter?' I asked incredulously.
'Yeah. So?' Are you going somewhere with that? his eyes asked.
He looked different, moody, dark.sexy as hell. I shook the thought from my head.
'Cat got your tongue Malfoy?' He taunted.
I bit the inside of my cheek, trying desperately not to have any images involving tongues.
He'd somehow thrown the balance and now he was in control. 'Jesus,' he slurred, 'you're even more uptight than Hermione.'
'I take that as an insult coming from you Potter.'
'Well it wasn't exactly a compliment.' He produced a bottle from his robes. 'Care for a drink?'
There was a challenge in his eyes that I wasn't about to turn down. I grabbed the bottle and downed a quarter of it, feeling the effects hit me slightly almost instantly.
'Aww can't Draco hold his drink?' He asked tauntingly, looking completely unlike himself for a moment.
I laughed suddenly. 'Potter if I didn't know any better I'd think you were the Slytherin.'
I watched him, wondering if he'd take it as a compliment or an insult.
He smiled. 'I almost was.' I looked at him in shock.
'What?' 'The sorting hat wanted to put me in Slytherin.' He admitted. 'I told it I didn't want to be so it put me in Gryffindor.'
'Why the hell did you do that?'
'Ron told me that Slytherin was the worst house.'
'And you believe everything Weasly tells you?'
He looked at me. 'No.but I'd already met you. I didn't think that Slytherin was big enough for the both of us.'
This was typical- I'd messed up my own chance of being with him.
It would figure that I was the only person in the world so stupid as to- Why was he telling me all this anyway?
From the look in his eyes he was wondering the same thing.
'I've never told anyone any of that before.' He said softly, his brow furrowing in confusion.
I was beginning to feel slightly drunk. 'To think. All this time the golden boy's been a Slytherin at heart.'
In a second he had me by the neck pressing me against the wall. 'Don't call me that.' He hissed.
'What? A Slytherin?' I was trying to follow the sudden 360 turnaround.
He glared at me 'The "golden boy". You don't know me Malfoy. You don't know me at all. All you know is some image that everyone projects. You don't know what I'm really like. You don't know what I've been through. You don't know all the things that have happened because of me.'
His grip had relaxed and he seemed close to tears.
'Why don't you tell me then.'
He stared at me suspiciously. 'How stupid do you think I am Malfoy? You really think I'm just going to tell you everything so you have more things to take the piss out of me for? You think I'm that stupid?'
I looked at him calmly, feeling nothing like my normal self and more relaxed than I had done in years. 'You're not the only one who isn't what everyone thinks you are.Harry.'
His eyes widened slightly and he slowly removed his hands from my neck.
For a long time there was silence but finally he sighed and settled on the floor.
'What do you want to know?'
I didn't need to think. 'Everything.'
And out it all came about what exactly had happened last year.
About Cedric's death and about how Voldemort had been resurrected and the Death Eaters called back to him. He told me about his battle with Voldemort and when all the spirits of the dead came to urge him on.
'And there were all those people counting on me- all those faces round me telling me not to fail. That's my life. Either I live and let someone else die on my account or I die and let everyone die with me. Whatever I do it will never save everyone; and Voldemort's never going to stop until I'm dead. He's not going to stop until everyone's dead. He's the most powerful wizard in the world and I.I'm going to die.'
'Don't say that.' I snapped.
'Why not? It's true.'
'No it's not! Voldemort's tried to kill you.what, 5 times? He's failed every time. And that's not down to sheer luck or a series of flukes. It's because you're a great wizard. It's because you're special.'
'But I'm not.'
'No? How many other wizards can say they've come face to face with Voldemort and survived the experience? None. And you've done it time and time again. You're not the Boy Who Lived- you're the Boy who Fucking Refuses to Die. And you're not going to give up now.'
He looked at me intently and then started laughing.
'What?' I asked suspiciously.
'Nothing- I just never figured you to be the pep-talk type.'
'That wasn't a pep-talk.'
'No? What was it then? Did you learn it in "charm your enemy into submission" classes?'
I tried to fight back a blush. 'It's just not your style to be so defeatist Potter- doesn't suit you.'
He carried on laughing and then stopped suddenly, staring at his hands. 'Malfoy.your father was there. I don't know if you knew that or.'
'I didn't know.' I answered.
I probably could have guessed but my father never told me anything he didn't need to.
'I just thought someone should tell you- you have the right to know.'
'Well its not like it matters anymore.'
He frowned. 'What do you mean?'
'My father's dead.'
His eyes bored into mine. 'I'm sorry.'
'No you're not.' He didn't look sorry.
'No. I'm not.' He admitted. 'He deserved to die.'
The words hit me like a fist. I still couldn't believe he was gone.
'But.' he gave me a serious look. 'Maybe you didn't deserve him dying.'
I gaped at him; unable to believe he'd just said what he said. 'Were you just nice to me Potter?'
'No.' He said quickly. 'I just.I know what it feels like to lose a parent.or both of them.'
'Ironic really.' I raised an eyebrow. 'Your parents were killed by the forces of darkness and my father was killed by the forces of light.'
His brow furrowed. 'What happened?'
'The aurors- I don't know how yet. But I guess I know why now.' At his confused look I clarified. 'He was there when Diggory died wasn't he- a proven Death Eater.'
'But Fudge didn't believe me.'
'You think the aurors listen to Fudge- give them more credit Potter. They know what's true and what's not.'
'But there weren't any there when I told Dumbledore.oh.' He got it.
'Dumbledore can never keep his mouth shut.' I said lightly.
'So your father died because of me.' Harry said quietly. 'Just like Cedric.'
'Don't be stupid. Diggory didn't die because of you.'
'Malfoy- I told him to take the cup with me- if it hadn't been for me then he'd still be alive.'
'Potter listen- you were doing what you thought was right. If he'd taken the cup then he'd still be dead only no-one would know why and his parents would never have got his body back. At least the fact that you were only half noble and wanted at least part of the glory had some benefits.'
He looked faintly amused. 'Where do you come up with this stuff?'
I shrugged.
'And I didn't want part of the glory; it's called compromising Malfoy. Maybe you should try it sometime.'
I spoke without thinking. 'Why? Didn't get you very far.'
Instantly I wished I'd kept my big mouth shut. I'd pushed too far.
'Forget I said that.'
'No point- what's said is said and at least you're being honest. Besides,' he smirked at me, 'I did give you the perfect opening.'
Silence fell between us. 'I better go.' Harry said eventually, stumbling slightly as he got to his feet.
'Yeah me too. See you around.Harry.'
He smiled slightly. 'Wow. We managed an entire conversation without killing each other. And you didn't bore me to death; Its almost a shame it has to end now.'
'Why does it?'
It wasn't a naïve question- I knew exactly why we couldn't be friends but I knew damn well that I'd face the consequences if it only meant we could be.
'We might both be playing parts but that's the way it has to be.' He said slowly.
'Why?' I forced out.
'Because I'm Harry Potter and you're Draco Malfoy; I'm a Gryffindor and you're a Slytherin. That's how its meant to be.'
I clenched my jaw as hard as I could and nodded slowly. Jaw firm, I raised my head and looked him in the eyes.
'In that case,' I said coldly. 'Get the hell out of my way Potter.'
I stalked away before he could reply, my heart beating faster than I thought was possible.
If only.
If only life had turned out differently- if only we weren't such different people.
'Because I'm Harry Potter and you're Draco Malfoy; I'm a Gryffindor and you're a Slytherin. That's how its meant to be.'
'If only.' I whispered as his voice floated through my head.
'The Sorting Hat wanted to put me in Slytherin.'
'I wish it had done.' A thought occurred to me; what if it had done?
If Harry had been in Slytherin then we could have been friends.we could have been more than friends.
But it was too late now. The past had happened and there was no way to change it.
Or was there? A plan began to form in my mind.
Snape had told us a long time ago that he could teach us to "stopper death".
What was that if not messing with time?
And if it was possible to suspend time then surely it was possible to turn it back and alter it.
I thought quickly- was there any potion that allowed time travelling?
If there was then it would surely be a Dark Art and such not in any book in school.
But the manor was a different question.
I had thought desperately of every book in the manor that I had ever seen and after finally remembering a book of potions on time manipulation had summoned it straight out from under the Aurors noses.
And now it was in front of me.
And I had found a potion.
It would allow me to travel back in time to alter one event and then reality would be altered to fit the consequences of the altered event.
At any point during the new reality, the alteration could be taken back by saying the spell written at the bottom of the page.
The potion was complicated but my desperation made me confident of my ability to create it.
Getting the ingredients however would mean breaking into Snape's personal store which I was fairly certain carried the equivalent of a death penalty.
But if it worked.then no-one would ever know.
And if it didn't...the death of my father would guarantee I was just considered mad with grief and unaware of my actions.
So I did it. I stole the ingredients and brewed the potion, aware that any small mistake would poison me.
But I finished it and it glowed a dark green colour in the dark room as I stared at it, considering ironically that this probably was not what my father had meant when he had said not to disappoint him.
I took a deep breath and dipped a goblet into the potion.
'Here goes nothing.' I said, trying not to think about how likely it was that I had made this potion incorrectly.
'Goodbye world.' I murmured, downing the goblet in one go.
The bitter taste made me gag but I quickly walked over to the book and read the spell aloud.
'What time has let come to pass
Let me now take back
And time itself will turn around
And be set on a different track.'
'Fuck.' I muttered as the world swayed slightly. 'This is going to kill me.'
I waited with bated breath for something to happen.anything.
Nothing happened.
'Maybe I'm supposed to say something.' I muttered, stepping forward towards the book.
I stepped out of my body.
'Crap.' I said in surprise. 'It worked.'
Now what? What one event in the past could I change to make the world as I wanted it.
I could kill Ron but somehow I didn't think Harry would appreciate that.
I racked my brains.
'No.but I'd already met you. I didn't think that Slytherin was big enough for the both of us'.
Me.
I could change me.
I could change the way I'd come across to Harry the first time that I'd met him.
I cleared my throat, feeling like an idiot.
'I want to go back to the first time I met Harry.'
There was a sudden flash and there I was, standing in Madame Malkin's shop, gazing at myself and Harry talking.
Or at least myself talking and Harry listening.
I stepped closer, listening to what I was saying and watching the way Harry was disliking me more and more with each word I spoke.
Oh God. I wanted to shut myself up- but how?
'Silencio' I whispered at myself.
Undeterred my younger self continued talking.
I grimaced. Had I really said all that?
Ok. Think Draco think!
The younger me paused for breath and I took the opportunity to clap my hand over his mouth, hoping to stop the stream of words.
Instead I found myself in his body.
As quickly as possible I shut my mouth, trying to stop the dizziness flowing over me.
Harry looked at me, appearing slightly concerned.
'Are you alright?'
'Yeah I think so.' I looked directly at him.
'Sorry I never introduced myself did I? Draco Malfoy.' I stretched out a hand with a smile.
'Harry Potter.' He returned.
'Its nice to meet you Harry.' I tried to remember what the younger me had been talking about- brooms.
I couldn't make it seem like I'd suddenly become a different person. 'So do you play Quidditch Harry?'
He looked down at the floor. 'No.'
I felt the urge to sneer at him as my younger self battled for control of his body.
'It's a really great game to play.' I enthused. 'You'll love it.' I inwardly cheered at the surprised look on his face- that was not what he had been expecting me to say.
'What is it?' He asked hesitantly.
This time I struggled to hold back my younger self's retort. 'It's quite complicated but I'll give you a vague idea.'
I quickly outlined the rules and objectives of Quidditch.
I laughed at the confused look on his face. 'I told you it was complicated. But I'm sure you'll get the hang of it.' I hesitated. 'Maybe I could teach you to play it sometime.if you like.'
A smile spread across his face slowly. 'Really?'
I nodded enthusiastically. 'Sure.'
'You're done.' Madame Malkin told Harry.
He hopped off the stool. 'Well I guess I'll see you there.'
'Yeah, unless you want to get some ice-cream or something.'
He hesitated and looked over to the window where Hagrid was waiting.
'I'd like to but I have to go.'
I barely held back the Hagrid insult because both me and my younger self had the same opinion of the half-giant.
'Oh ok. Well I'll see you at Hogwarts.'
He smiled at me- the only time I'd seen Harry with a sincere smile on his face directed at me. 'See you.'
I gave him a small wave as he left the shop. Madame Malkin said something to me but I couldn't hear her.
'What?'
The word didn't come out of my mouth.
The objects around me suddenly began to melt into each other and they rearranged themselves into the scene of the Hogwarts' Great Hall.
What the hell was I doing here?
I hadn't asked to come here. A group of first years was ushered in by Professor McGonogall. I recognised myself and the other people in the crowd.
This was the Sorting Ceremony.
I understood now- I was watching the repercussions of my act.
I watched in silence as one by one the Sorting Hat placed the students in the houses.
And then was the one I'd been waiting for.
'Potter, Harry.'
He walked slowly up to the platform, looking as nervous as I remembered him doing.
I held my breath as the Sorting Hat was lowered onto Harry's head.
Please.
Please let this work.
There was a long pause and finally the hat opened its mouth.
'SLYTHERIN!'
And I was being drawn away from the scene.
Away from myself.and away from Harry.
Thanks for reading! Review pleeeeeeeeease.
