DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters and merchandise with it, it is the sole property of Joanne Kathleen Rowling and those American money-grabbing Warner Bros.
A/N: This story is stupid, don't even try to analyse it okay?
--------------------------------Chapter 1: The Wettening------------------------------------------
-At the start of the school year in the Great Hall, the new Sixth Year Gryffindors sit and chat about important issues affecting the world today...-
Seamus: Has that Pansy Parkinson gotten a boob job?
Ron: What's one of them?
Harry: Ohhh Seamus get off my leg....
Seamus: I'm not on your leg, gayboy!
Harry: NEVILLE!
Neville: What? You know you want me....-feels Harry's leg more-
Harry: Fuckin 'ell Neville! I'm straight!!!
-Hermione walks over from a chat with Professor Sinistra-
Hermione: Hello everyone! Did I hear Harry get sexually harassed?
Ron: Yeah by Neville! That fat-arsed loser.. hehee!! -kisses Hermione's hand-
Hermione: Aww Ron thanks....
Ron: I was just licking some coleslaw off.
Neville: I'M SAT RIGHT HERE BIATCHES!!
-Hagrid waddles over with a very harassed looking Dennis Creevey-
Hagrid: -slaps Dennis on the back, making his knees buckle- HELLO HUFFLEPOOFS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!
Ron: No need to be homophobic just because Harry's a queer.
Harry: NO I'M NOT!!
Hermione: Oh Harry do shut the fuck up, we've had enough of you shouting the house down in Order of the Phoenix so speak properly or I'll do it for you... WITH MY FIST!
Neville: Leave Harry alone, cow!
Hagrid: Neville fancies Harry!? -snigger-
Dennis: But....but....-bursts into tears and runs off to join his brother at the other end of the Gryffindor table-
Seamus: What's up with that runt?
Harry: LEAVE HIM ALONE!
Hermione: I'm warning you, missy!
Ron: :O
Hagrid: OI YOU CAN' GO USIN' MSN EMOTICONS!
Neville: -sigh- I'm gay, everyone.
Harry: Good for you, gayboy – now go join the gays over at the Slytherin table!
Ron: Reaction Formation, right babe?
Hermione: Yep, well done carrot-top! :D
Hagrid: Stop it like!
Harry: You are all crazy.
Ron: -feels Harry's leg- Hey don't worry about it honey, it's okay.
Hermione: RON! Get of him!!
Ron: -sulkily- Fine!
-Harry looks over at the Ravenclaw table and stares at Cho Chang's arse-
Seamus: Oh my Flamel, I think he's straight!
Harry: No I'm not!
Ron: HAH! YOU ADMITTED IT!!!
Harry: -slaps Ron- No, look at her arse – it's WET!!
Hermione: It's not only her-LOOK THE WHOLE RAVENCLAW CLAN HAS WET BOTTOMS!
Ron: No they don't, ho – just the lasses!
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Okay that was stupid, I admit. But there's more in store! Just Read and Review!! :D
Alexei Noire xXx
