A little somethin with Beckett and Alexis.
Motherly Nature
All settled in for the night, Kate takes a glass of wine and a book to her sofa to read for a while before bed. Her only way to unwind after a long day. She sets the glass down on the coffee table with a small clink and sharp slide of glass as she pushes it away from the edge. The redness of the wine reflecting off the surface of the translucent table. With book in hand, Kate lays spread out on the sofa and opens the book to a random page. Before her eyes can even lock on the first word, there is a knock at her door. She sighs, rolling her eyes and setting her book down on the coffee table before getting up reluctantly to answer. Wondering before she looks through the peephole, who could be knocking on her door at this hour. She slides up the little lever and peeks out.
She un locks the door and swings it open right away for her very un expected visitor. "Alexis?" Kate asks alarmed ushering the crying girl inside. "Is Cas- Your Father okay?" She lays a hand on her shoulder and brings her to the sofa.
The young red head sits down stifling a sob and nods.
"What it is? is it your grandmother?" Kate tries desperately to get answers while the girl continues to cry, hunched forward on her sofa.
"nn noo." She cries, and falls into Kate's shoulder.
Kate stiffens on contact. Feeling Alexis shaking against her with sobs has her soften, and she brings an arm around her shoulder, bring her in closer. "Please tell me what's wrong so I can help." Kate instantly starts to feel that motherly instinct and brings the hand around her shoulder to move the hair out of Alexis face.
Alexis sniffles and takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry! It's just that... Ashley decided to stay here and go to school instead of following his dream of going to Stanford. All because of me! And I felt to bad for holding him back that I pushed him away! I broke up with him! And now I feel ridiculous for bothering you with this, but my mother isn't here and she wouldn't know what to say anyway, and dad wouldn't understand. and Grams..." Alexis rambles on her voice shaky while she talks really fast.
"Whoah Alexis." Kate says, pulling back and taking the girls face in her hands to turn her towards her. "Look at me." She then says. Alexis is attention is averted downwards, and now looks up with her piercing blue eyes that sends a pang through Kate's chest. Her eyes are so much like Castle's.
"I'm sorry." The redhead looks down again, her hair falling into her face blocking Kate's view of her pretty blues.
"Hey, stop saying sorry. I am incredibly flattered you'd come to me." She drops one hand from the girls face, holding her hand with it while the other wipes a tear from Alexis's cheek.
Alexis peers back up with her with a sigh. "Other than gram, your the only other woman figure in my life..."
Kate feels herself tear up at that. The thought that this girl sees her as someone she can run to when she needs help, warms her heart. If only she had someone when she was her age when she needed a mother. Kate feels like she could really be Alexis's mother figure. She hugs her to her at that, cupping the back of her head and rubbing smooth circles into her back..
"That means so much to me Sweetie." She finds it pretty easy to slip out an endearment.
Alexis sniffles again, tightening her grip on the older woman. Again Kate feels that warmth in her heart. Liking how someone needs her. It's nice to feel needed like this sometimes. To be able to hold someone when they need it. Just like how she feels she needs it herself. This embrace benefits the two of them. The two woman stay like that for a very long time. Until Kate feels Alexis has a hold of herself. But she lets Alexis make the first move. When she does. Alexis lets out a sigh, and loosens her grip, pulling back but still leaning on her. Kate settles back into the sofa. Her head on Alexis's which is on her shoulder.
"Now." Kate starts in a low reassuring tone. "Tell me what happened." She claps a hand on the girls knee and waits.
Alexis wipes her eyes and lets out another breath less shaky now. "Well...Ashley is going to college soon. Which means he'll be away and I'll still be in high school. And I don't know if a long distance relationship is a good idea. So he said he didn't have to go to Stanford, that he'd stay here with me...but..but Stanford has always been his dream and I don't want to take that away form him!" She starts getting worked up again.
Kate thinks for a second before answering. "So you pushed him away so he can live his dream." She says without question and then nods her head understanding. She feels Alexis nod against her shoulder.
"Yes."
"And you love him enough to let him go. "
"So much."
"You don't think long distance can work?" Kate asks.
"I looked up the statistics for long distance sweethearts for when one goes off to college, they aren't good."
"There's your problem right there. Forget about the statistics. Nothing can be more sure then your own experiences. Not the numbers of failed relationships..." Again Kate pauses thinking for a better reasonable answer. "What about the ones that didn't fail? Ever think of those ones?"
Alexis answers right away letting her head up from Kate's shoulder too look at her while she argues irrationally. "But there aren't that many." She seems so sure.
"Doesn't mean yours can be added up to those few." Kate points out, giving her knee a squeeze.
Alexis gets this look upon her face like she was just throw the easiest answer in the world. And then looks down ashamed of herself as if she was being way to foolish. "I'm so stupid..and Selfish." She stares at Kate's hand on her knee.
"Hey! No your not." The older woman takes Alexis's chin with her index finger, making her look at her. "You are in no way stupid. I happened to think your the smartest girl I've ever met, maybe even more mature then anyone I know. And as for selfish? Your inlove. And there is nothing more unselfish than that. Your just trying to protect him. I understand that completely." Kate gets this far away look on her face. Now thinking of Castle and how many times she's tried to push him and her feelings away. "You have to remember your not the only one in this. Think about it. Ashley is willing to give up his dreams for you. That means something."
"I guess." Alexis replies quietly.
Kate smiles. "No guessing, you now this. Love always finds a way. You just have to trust it. Take chances or you may never know what could have been. There are too many "what if's" and "If only's" in this world to ignore them. Do you really want to let him go? And look back on your life and wonder...If Only?"
Kate stares into the eyes so much like Richard Castle's. As if his eyes stare right back at her and into her soul. She thinks about Royce's letter, now in her jewelery box with her father's watch and Mother's ring. When she finally focuses again on the girl in front of her. She can see the battle going on inside her. This look she often finds on Castle's face when he's in deep quizzical thought. Kate smiles at her thoughtfully, her own green eyes shiny with emotion, and brings a hand up to cup Alexis cheek. Much like her mother used to do. She feels like a mother in that moment.
And then Alexis nods. Understanding. She smiles, her eyes still glistening with tears, which will no longer plague her. "Thank you Kate." She says.
"Always." Kate replies in a way worthy of Castle, something he would appreciate. "Come here." She then says, opening her arms to the young girl.
Alexis throws herself into Kate's open arms. Holding onto her in a way a child would only hug a parent. Kate feels the tears leap to her eyes again, and tightens her hold, letting one drop of moisture slip out. She breaths in the smell of Alexis's. She has her own smell, but also sort of smells like Castle. Kate wonders briefly what it would feel like to be hugging her own kid. But doesn't have to stray too far. Alexis is the closest she's gotten, and it feels so good. Kate blinks out another tear and quickly wipes it away before pulling back from the teenager. She sighs, holding both of Alexis's hands in her own.
"I don't know what I'd do without you." Alexis confesses, looking down.
Kate doesn't say anything to that. That jolt goes through her chest again and she smiles when Alexis's eyes met her own again. "Anything for you." She finally says, pushing a lock of beautiful red hair behind Alexis ear, who in turn presses her cheek into her touch.
"I guess I better go...Dads probably wondering where I went...I kind of just left all upset."
"I can call him if you like, tell him your safe and on your way home." Kate drops her hand to her own lap.
"Yes, thank you." Alexis stands up.
Kate does as well and wraps an arm around her shoulder. Something that seems so natural now. She walks her to the door, opening it, and leaning on the doorframe when the girl steps out to leave. Alexis looks down at her hands, not moving there in the hallway.
"Kate?" She's still staring at her hands.
"Hmm?" She tilts her head to one side.
"Thank you so much. It means a lot to me..."
"Me too Sweetie." She smiles, reaching a hand to her. Which the girl takes and squeezes. "My door is always open to you."
Alexis smiles and starts walking to the elevator. Kate watches her go. Not going inside until she's safely in the elevator. While Alexis waits for it to arrive, she peers down at her hands again, fiddling with them nervously, this look on her face like she wants to say something. When the elevator dings and opens Alexis stays put, and then looks to Kate.
"I love you Kate." She says,
Kate's eyes grow wide and an unmistakable grin creases the side of her mouth, "I love you too, Alexis."
The girl's face lights up and the younger Castle steps into the elevator without another word. Kate stands in the doorway of her apartment for several minutes after the girl has left. She sighs finally, and closes her door slowly, leaning her back against it as she pulls out her phone and presses speed dial two. The name "Castle" Appearing on the screen. She waits, phone to her ear heart still racing in shock. Thinking about how only she could say those words to the Castle who know speaks into her ear.
What do you think? I really loved this. I hope you did too! And don't worry I'm still writing for "In your dreams Castle" I Just thought of this and needed to write it! Reviews always appreciated! :D
