The Perfect Christmas-Esme's Story

For those of you who read "The Perfect Wife" this takes place twelve years after the epilogue. You do not need to read TPW, but an understanding of the story is helpful.

Carlisle ran a human trafficking ring. He was an abusive husband and father. Esme suffered cruel and horrific atrocities at her husband's hand. Her sons, Emmett, Jasper and Edward were raised to treat her no better than a slave; undeserving of love and respect. Rosalie, Alice and Bella are brought into this life as their wives and together these women fight to change their outlook on life and women. At the end of TPW, Em/J/E have learned to change and passionately love and respect their wives.

Carlisle is finally killed when he attempts to hurt Bella, freeing Esme from a lifetime of abuse. His will stated he wanted to be cremated so his ashes would remain with his family, forever a symbol of his power over his family. Esme refuses to let him control her life any longer and takes his urn from the house returning empty-handed hours later.

TPW was Bella and Edward's story. This is Esme's story.

This o/s is rated "T" and safe for everyone.

Thank you to everyone who supported this worthy cause either with their time and talents or with their hard-earned money. We truly are the fandom that cares.

Thanks to Lea and Caryn for their wonderful beta skills!

Standard Disclaimer: As we all know, everything Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer. We love her characters so much though that they've become the toys we play with. No copyright infringement is intended.

"Mom, are you ever going to tell us what you did with his ashes?" Emmett asked.

I was taken by surprise by his question. I thought it would have been asked the evening I returned empty-handed after taking his father's urn from him and leaving the house or at least the next day. I was certain someone would approach me and ask in the ensuing days that followed our liberation. They never did. I was given my privacy, and no one ever asked me until now.

I know why he's asking today. We received news that Marcus was stabbed in prison and died yesterday. Marcus ran from prosecution, hiding out in South America for years before he was found. He was arrested there for kidnapping and raping a young girl and begged for extradition to face his US charges as opposed to death in their judicial system.

I guess hearing the news brought it to mind.

It's been almost twelve years since that day. I haven't thought about it in years. I put it behind me just like I put my life before that day behind me. It's the past, and has no bearing on our lives today. I don't know why they never asked before. I didn't even share the details with my therapist, although she did ask if I wanted to talk about it. I remember telling her not at that time, there were too many other issues that I needed to face. I said that I would talk about it later, but later never came.

His name is never mentioned around me, and I don't bring him up. I don't know whether it's because my sons still feel the need to shelter and protect me all these years later, or because they feel some sort of irrational fear that just saying his name will somehow bring him back or if like me, there's just no need to mention him at all. He's dead. He can't hurt us any longer.

Sometimes when I look back at my life before and my life now, it's like looking at a character in a novel or movie. That girl, that woman isn't me. I'm not that person any longer, and she no longer has any place in my life other than to remind me how fortunate I am. I have the love of a strong, gentle man. Garrett loves me for myself. He sees my flaws and imperfections and loves me more because of them.

I'm not perfect and I don't pretend to be. I have been known to set a less than perfect meal on the table. I don't wear makeup every day. I learned dust-bunnies won't kill anyone and if someone tracks mud through the house, it's not the end of the world. If I get angry, I yell. I've even been known to swear on occasion, if the situation warrants. The first time Emmett heard me curse the look on his face would make you think my head had spun all the way around on my shoulders, and I levitated off the floor. I laughed so hard at the look on his face that I forgot all about the cut on my hand that prompted the word to leave my lips.

My boys still treat me like spun glass at times, afraid something will cause me to shatter. I know they only want to protect me, constantly trying to make up for the years their father made them turn their back on me. No amount of therapy or reassurances from me can convince them I never held them responsible for those actions, so I let them pretend to protect me, and I love them all the more for their efforts. They were and are my children. I have loved them unconditionally from the moment of conception. Their actions before were the result of a lifetime of psychological and emotional abuse perpetuated by Carlisle. He skewed their moral compass and tried to mold them into monsters like himself.

However, unlike Carlisle, my boys were born with a strong sense of decency, and I was able to encourage it when they were young. They lost sight of right and wrong at their father's encouragement, but it was always there, waiting for something, or someone, to help them remember. They were blessed with finding love under the most challenging of circumstances. Things could have been so different for all of us if love hadn't happened for them.

Rosalie, Alice and Bella were the answer to my prayers for my sons' salvation. They taught them what love is, and how to give love in return. Alice fired the first shot in my family's revolution, and Bella won the war when Edward surrendered his heart to her.

Emmett, Jasper and Edward all faced criminal charges after Carlisle's death for their part in the criminal activities the Cullen's were involved in. Fortunately, for them, Carlisle was a control freak and trusted no one, including his sons. Investigators were unable to find any direct link that implicated them in any criminal activities. They were only guilty of doing nothing to stop their father and uncle's activities.

It's a guilt they still live with when they see the women who come to Reneesme's House to escape an abusive situation of their own. How many lives were destroyed because no one listened to their pleas for help? It took time, but through records found in Carlisle's study and Marcus' home, the district attorney was able to find all but three of the girls. We hope those three were able to escape, though it is more likely they met with foul play.

All those men stood trial and were found guilty for participating in human trafficking. The girls, women now, lived years in abusive situations; some had children who were now grown and lived with the same skewed view of women as their fathers. It's easy to blame Carlisle for the generations of abuse that will continue to be perpetuated by some of these families. In reality, those men would have found another woman, another way, even with a conventional courtship and marriage. The seed of evil was already within them to be abusive. Carlisle just found a way to make a profit from their evil. His victims were the women, and the children of those women. Their lives will be forever tainted by the ugliness inside of him.

Rose and Alice refused to accuse or testify against their husbands, telling investigators that Emmett and Jasper actually saved them from the same fate so many unfortunate women faced. The district attorney couldn't figure out how to charge Edward since technically Bella didn't come through the same system of corruption. She was Charlie's daughter. He would have been guilty of incest, abuse and human trafficking, but he was already dead. The money trail couldn't be used since Carlisle paid Charlie; the money went back to Bella in trust upon his death. Then Edward, as trustee, gave Bella full access to that trust when she moved back to Phoenix with her aunt and uncle. The same funds which she donated to help support Reneesme's House. Carlisle and I were her legal guardians; she moved away after high school to attend college and married Edward freely after graduation. Her case was a prosecutor's nightmare since the players in her tragedy were all dead except for Edward, and she also refused to testify against him.

The charges against the boys were eventually dropped for insufficient evidence, but that didn't stop the stares and whispers or the pitying looks the girls received from the people in our community. Our family stood strong and their unwavering support of their husbands convinced the town of their innocence and life went on.

I remembered the shock I felt when they told me Carlisle was dead.

I sat on the edge of my bed and pinched my arm, wincing at the pain. I looked down at the red mark on my left arm and rubbed it to relieve the sting. I've been doing that a lot lately; every time I prepared a meal that I wanted to eat, when I woke in the mornings after that first moment of fear before I remembered he wasn't there, and he wasn't coming back.

I looked around the room that had been my torture chamber for almost thirty years. I saw the heavy dark lacquered wood furniture that was Carlisle's taste, the gold and black bedding that covered our bed. I hated this room even more than the basement. At least in the basement I knew what to expect. In this room, I had never known who I would face. Occasionally, I saw glimpses of the man I met in college, though they were few and far between. Mostly, I saw the monster that was my husband.

I had begun to suspect Carlisle's sanity. It sounds like an excuse for his actions to say he was insane, but I truly believed his sanity had been slipping over the last few years. I don't know when exactly the change happened, but it's become more pronounced over the last year. He often sat drinking into the evening with a glassy, far off look in his eyes. I began to recognize the look as the nights he was extra harsh with me. It was as though he needed something that he couldn't get from me, though I didn't know what else he could possibly want that he hadn't already taken from me.

Now I know. Now we all know what he was looking for. The boys didn't want to tell me; afraid it would only hurt me further, but there was no way to keep this kind of secret. Not with the nearly catatonic state Bella has been in or the violence Edward unleashed on that guard when the boys found that file on Bella in Carlisle's study.

My God, what Carlisle has put that girl through because of his obsession with Renee. I don't know if she will overcome this on her own this time. She needs therapy even more so now. I hope Edward sees this. I know he thinks they've worked past some of her issues on their own, but I could see how insecure and depressed she's been even before what happened in the hotel room. On the surface, she may appear fine, but she was going to snap at some point without professional help. This latest may have just been the last straw for her.

This whole family needs therapy. I know I do for what he's done to me. I still have nightmares at times of being raped by Charlie all those years ago as well as dealing with years of torture and abuse at Carlisle's hand. It's a wonder I haven't lost my own sanity by now.

It's going to be hard to get Emmett and Edward to see they need help as well. Everything Carlisle has put us through over the years; the emotional and psychological abuse they've suffered. I don't care how strong they think they are, I'm their mother, and I know what my children need. Emmett faces the daunting task of now becoming the head of the family and I don't want to see him slip into Carlisle's shoes. I want him to break free for himself and for his family. He's about to become a father himself, he needs to think about what's best for Rose and for his son.

Then there's Jasper. I don't worry about him as much as the others, since he sees Alice's therapist once a month as part of Alice's ongoing therapy. I smiled as I thought of how far he's come since that fateful day after their wedding. Things could have turned out so differently for everyone if that day had ended any other way. Jasper had given me hope I hadn't lost my sons forever.

I waited for Emmett to return with his urn, sitting in my bedroom staring blankly at the far wall. Our wedding album lay forgotten on the bed beside me. I was looking at the pictures earlier trying to remember the love I must have felt for him on our wedding day. Staring at the pictures of that young naïve girl I couldn't find even an echo of that emotion reflected in her eyes.

In that moment, I didn't feel anything but regret and sorrow for all those lost years. I heard his car pull up to the front of the house and left my room to meet him at the door. I refused to allow the memory of life with Carlisle to tarnish one more moment of our lives. My family was going to survive and learn to live life beginning immediately. I was taking back my life and my children's lives. Carlisle Cullen didn't have the power to hurt anyone ever again.

I thought about how much has changed since that day. Our family has had the same ups and downs that any other family faced. We had our triumphs and our failures, but through it all we've loved and been loved in return, and we've survived.

I let my eyes drift around the room taking in the festive feel. The fireplace glowed and filled the room with warmth. The burning logs popped and crackled, the sound providing a soothing backdrop to the quiet strains of Christmas musiccoming through the stereo speakers, tiny sparks rising to disappear up the chimney.

A large Christmas tree stood tall at twelve feet and was covered in bright twinkling lights of all colors which reflected off the abundant fanciful ornaments filling the branches. The tree was eclectic, no regimented theme could be found in the tree's decoration which is why I loved it. Each ornament was chosen for a member of my family. They reflected an accomplishment; a glass snowman wearing a doctor's coat with a stethoscope for Edward, a martini glass for Jasper's nightclub, and a reindeer wrestling Santa for Emmett's gym. For the girls, there was a glass blown apple for Bella, an old fashioned truck hauling a Christmas tree for Rosalie and a sewing kit with a kitten peering out of the lid for Alice.

For grandkids there were glass baby shoes for first steps, a dentist snowman for losing a first tooth, a ballerina for dance recitals, bikes, wagons, cute glass dogs, cats and fish that resembled favorite pets, even a snake. I still shudder every year when I unwrap the snake and see it for the first time. I couldn't stop the tiny laugh at the memory of EJ begging Rose and Emmett to let him have a pet snake after a trip to the circus, and he got to take his picture holding a giant boa constrictor. Emmett put up the biggest fight against a pet snake. 'Fang' lived happily on tiny white mice for two years before he died. Emmett actually shed a tear when he buried it in their yard.

There are also ornaments to make us laugh in remembrance for blunders and mistakes. A Santa on crutches with a leg cast for Alice and Jasper's ski trip to Aspen four years ago. Jasper slipped on ice in the parking lot ten minutes after they arrived and broke his ankle. They never made it to the slopes that week, but eight and a half months later I got to meet my new granddaughter, Aspen. There was an ornament with a Santa and reindeer holding fishing poles. The reindeer was proudly displaying the boot on the end of his hook. Edward and Bella went deep sea fishing with a few of their friends one year. Bella discovered a deep love for solid ground on their trip, spending the day hanging over the side of the boat being sick. Edward managed to catch a decent sized swordfish which is proudly mounted in his office at the hospital. Bella refused to let him hang it in their house saying it was laughing at her.

There was a small pink and white wedding cake, a bride and groom and a red glass rose; gifts from each of my children the year Garrett and I married. There were many floral shaped glass ornaments given to me over the years by my family along with several for "World's Best Mom" or "World's Best Grandma".

For Garrett, there was a computer to represent his job as CFO of a large manufacturing company. He also had his own collection of "World's Best Grandpa" ornaments along with more rustic outdoorsy themed ornaments, since he liked fishing and hunting. Although, he doesn't actually hunt any longer, not since Abby and Sophie campaigned quite diligently for Gampy not to kill Bambi. Those two were lethal when they put their heads together. They were fine with the concept of fishing since fish are 'ugly and slimy' so to their combined five year-old minds, he was actually doing the fish a favor. Plus they loved his fried fish and didn't want to give it up.

A fragile paper village adorned the bookcase that belonged to Garrett's mother. It passed to him on his mother's death two years ago along with the nativity on the mantle which once belonged to his grandparents.

My Christmas traditions have changed since the boys were children. Everything is relaxed and informal. There isn't the staid formal tree with white lights that don't blink and silver and blue glass balls. I always hated that tree. It didn't welcome you or shout joy and holiday spirit. It stood at attention, imposing and cold.

My life was wonderful, perfect even. Garrett was a wonderful gentle man. We would be celebrating seven years of marriage this coming spring. Every day was filled with love and joy. Garrett fought my dragons with unfailing love and chased away the darkness. Even if we disagreed there was no fear. I could stand my ground and raise my chin in defiance if I didn't agree with something he said or did.

Life was definitely different now. There were no regimented rules, no restrictions or punishments, there was no dark and cold basement to be locked away in; chained and beaten into submission. Our basement was bright and cheery. It housed a playroom for our grandchildren and a game room for the guys.

My gaze shifted to the smaller tree standing across the room. It was bathed in pink and white, its stature not as large, but it was symbolic of our lives.

I let my mind drift to the past again and everything that small tree stands for. It began with one small pink ornament to represent Bella and Edward's trip to Florida shortly after their wedding. They spent the week with her Aunt Teri and Uncle JJ along with her cousins going to Disney World and seeing the sights.

I had assumed she would bring back something with a Disney theme. She didn't. What she brought back took on a new meaning for my family. She said it spoke to her. When I unwrapped the tissue paper I was surprised to see a pink flamingo riding a surfboard wearing sunglasses and holding a drink in one wing. I didn't even try to stop the laugh that burst forth when I held it up by the ribbon for Garrett to see.

Bella blushed and smiled and said she was glad I understood the meaning. We were all confused by her words until she explained. Sometimes you just need something to help you remember, it's okay to laugh.

Bella will always be my family's savior.

Every year we add more flamingos to the tree. We reached a point several years back where we had enough pink ornaments to stand on their own. It's become a game for my family to find the most ridiculous flamingos to add to the tree. As the grandkids have gotten older they've gotten into the spirit, and I was surprised with several strands of pink flamingo lights for my birthday last year. As a Halloween prank, Emmett filled my yard with plastic pink flamingos five years ago.

Garrett and I moved them to Edward and Bella's yard a few months later when she miscarried for the third time. Edward called to thank me later that night after Bella fell asleep. He said it was the first time she smiled in two weeks.

They've been moved from house to house as the need arises, always to help someone remember, it's okay to laugh.

"Sweetheart? You okay?" Garrett asked gently. His voice brought me back to the present. I turned to my right and smiled, squeezing his hand in reassurance. He leaned over and kissed me gently on my temple in response.

"I'm fine, I promise," I answered.

Jasper was on the floor, his back leaning against the chair where Alice sat, his arm wrapped around his wife's knee. Her fingers stroked through his hair lovingly.

Emmett was sitting in the overstuffed chair and a half waiting expectantly for my answer. Rose was nestled in beside him drifting in and out of sleep as she tried to keep up with the conversation in the room.

We were all up until early this morning waiting for Edward and Bella to arrive from the airport.

I looked down at the newest flamingo ornament in my hands. It was actually a small picture frame that Bella decorated with pink flamingo buttons. She sent the photo early in case they didn't make it back in time for Christmas.

I looked to my left where Edward was perched on the arm of the sofa, hovering protectively over Bella. My newest granddaughter, Ling who was sleeping soundly in her arms. It took almost a year for the adoption red tape to clear in China. She was fourteen months old and would very soon become a big sister. Bella was seven months pregnant with a little girl.

I looked around the room at the piles of discarded boxes and torn wrapping paper. I closed my eyes and smiled at the sounds of my family. The sounds of laughter and running feet could be heard above us as grandchildren played and enjoyed their new toys. Bella shifting to get more comfortable on the sofa as Edward cooed over Ling. Alice telling Jasper she's going to hide the batteries to their son's laser gun as the annoying electronic noises continued to drift down the stairs, and Rose's soft snores Emmett would never dream of telling her she made. I opened my eyes again and smiled before answering.

"Does it even matter?"

A/N: For those of you who are unaware, I published my first novel "Blind Faith" through The Writer's Coffee Shop Publishing House last October.

My second novel, "The Darkness of Perfection" is scheduled to be released the end of June and is available for pre-order now. It delves into the realm of modern day slavery and human trafficking with a new cast of characters and setting and while the concept of TDOP is the same, the story is different. Don't assume anything.

I have been posting teasers for TDOP on my facebook page over the last few weeks if you want a taste of what to expect.

Since TDOP is a new storyline and not a repeat, I will not be taking TPW down and will be able to continue Better Than Perfect - Alice/Jasper's story.

Lastly, now that the novel is done I will be focused once again on Creating a Mate and Love of My Obsession. Expect an update for both soon!

Thank you for all the wonderful support and patience you've given me.

Take care! Mic

Mic