Super Mario Tales

Hello, everybody, what's up? Sorry I haven't posted anything in a long time. I've been really, really busy, but that's no excuse. I'll update every Friday (including this Friday since I've been gone for so long. Anyway, the story's about the Mario crew embarking on a magical adventure to an entirely new place, not even featured on Fanfic. Or is it? Anyway, they'll meet new friends, and battle new foes in an effort to resolve peace in another world. Where, you ask? Well, why don't you read on. I hope you enjoy. This chapter and this chapter might some strong themes others might like. You've been warned. Please R&R. I own no one.

Chapter 1: Lessons from a mushroom

It was a peaceful day in the Mushroom Kingdom. The sun was shining brightly as the denizens were moving about and whatnot. Toad Fungi, and his good friend Yoshi Dino, were at Yoshi's house on Yoshi's Island, hanging out. The two friends sat on the couch. Toad was playing Super Mario 3D World on Yoshi's Gamepad while Yoshi sat next to him, reading a book. Baby Peach lay on her stomach, legs up, watching Princess Parfait, (pronounced Par as in rhymes with bar, and fey, as in Tina) a fictional cartoon. Basically, the Mushroom Kingdom's equivalent to Strawberry Shortcake." Come on, kids! Let's go!" Parfait replied, as she looked at the view, in this case Baby Peach. "Eee!" Baby Peach squealed excitedly.

Yoshi looked up, and smiled. "Watching Pricess Parfait, Baby Peach?" Baby Peach looked up, and smiled. "Uh, huh!" Yoshi nodded. "Is it the 1980's version, or the 2014 revival show?" "The revival show." "Ah. You know, back when Mario and them

were kids the girls watch the '80s version." "Really? Awesome!" "Yeah, it's better than that stupid Jezebel, ugh." "Aw, c'mon Yoshi," The toddler protested. "It wasn't that bad! And It's Jessabelle, not Jezebel, although that's what her

friends nickname her." "Oh, and yes she was bad!" Yoshi proclaimed. Jessabelle was a cartoon show that premiered back in 2003m until it was cancelled by Yoshi, and Luigi, back in the fall of 2014. The show was aimed a preschool and

kindergarten kids. Or so at least that's what parents thought. In reality, it was a horrible show. The show's protagonist, sixteen-year-old Jessebelle Stevens, went around the town of

Getshotuplikeayouknowwhatimeaninsertbadasssmileandraiseandeyebrow-ville, her hometown, and tried to "solve" problems. Most of the characters were based on Parfait, and Mario

characters, but mainly the latter. For example two of the characters, are named Dario, and Alphsonse, nicknamed Big Dad-E, and Daddy Papa. The two were brothers in the Italian Mafia, who owed a lot of money, and often were called in by Jessabelle, to

kill someone. Other characters include Cool-aid, (DK's counterpart) Jessabelle's "daddy" (hint, hint) Browzer, (Bower's counterpart) an evil bull obsessed with Jessabelle, and Frog, (Toad's counterpart) A sunflower who got high regularly and often promotes drugs to the kids. Baby Peach was a huge fan of the show, much to Yoshi's dismay. For starters, besides the reasons listed above, Jessabelle was a horrible role model.

She was a stereotypical popular girl who was cruel to her peers. She was mean-spirited, greedy, spoiled, pompous, arrogant, and a ditz .She was also in a relationship with Dario, who was also her on-off-again boyfriend, despite the fact he was in his 30's and she herself was only 16. Also, in one episode, titled "Who the fuck needs school?" Jessabelle dropped out of high school. Another thing was she was a big time ho. She's had sex

with many men on the show, including Dario, Alphonse, Cool-aid, Browzer, many of her teachers, and even Frog, often having unprotected sex. Hell, she even did women, too. In fact one episode titled "Jessabelle the Jezebel", dealt with her briefly being a lesbian. Yoshi hated that the

show made fun of gays, lesbians, aids, straights, and fell, practically everybody. (Ahem, Family Guy?") That's when Yoshi decided that he'd had had enough, and along with Luigi, and Peach, were able to get it off the air, for good. Yoshi stared at Baby Peach and sighed. "Whatever you say."

Yoshi replied. Meanwhile, Toad was engrossed with 3D World. "Just up there, and "I'm multiplied!" Toad said in-game, as he grabbed a double cherry. "Ha!" Toad said. Toad was doing the world 4-3 level Beep Block Skyway, one of his favorite and hated level at the same time. He was at the part near the pipe and stopwatches, which, he collected after killing the Hammer Bros. "Ah!"

a Hammer Bro. squeaked. "Man, you sounded much better in Mario Strikers Charged, and Super Sluggers, than compared to here." Toad mumbled. "Did you say something, Toad?" Yoshi asked. Toad took his headphones off and looked. "Huh? Ya say something, Yoshi?" "I had asked what you said."

"Oh, nothing of importance. Just that Hammer Bros. in the game sound terrible compared to Charged, and Super Sluggers." "I know, right?" "Yeah." Suddenly, the time out theme played as Toad died. "Crap!" Toad yelled. "Yoshi chuckled.

"Ya should've paused your game, Toad!" "Is someone playing Mario 3?" Baby Mario called. "Cuz I heard someone die." "No, Baby Mario, Toad's playin' 3D World." Yoshi replied. "Oh, m'kay." Baby Mario replied. An hour had gone by before they were interrupted by Yoshi's phone

ringing. "… And I be up in the streets, shooting N-" Yoshi quickly grabbed his Universal Galaxy G, phone (the Mushroom's Kingdom equivalent to the Samsung Galaxy line) and answered it. "Hello? Oh hi…" As Yoshi was pacing around on the phone, Baby Peach turned and looked at Toad. "

Who's getting shot up in the streets, Mister Toad?" "Huh?" Toad looked up. "Oh, um-" "Ni-" "Don't even say it, Baby DK!" Toad said, as Baby DK came. "What, n-" "Uh, b-but!" Toad said. "But I'm black, Toad! But as you can say it too, as long it's not in a negative context!" Baby DK replied as he playfully wagged a finger. "Okay, and don't do that.

You remind of that gay ass hedgehog." "Okay, I'll stop!" Baby DK quickly replied. "Anyways, a-" "N****** getting shot up, right Toad?" Baby Peach asked. Toad and Baby DK looked at one another. "Yeah, Baby Peach, a N*****!" Baby DK said.

"That's a fun word to say, like cracker, or white trash, or darkie-" "Or jiggaboo, or jigga for short!" Donkey Kong replied as he appeared out of nowhere. "Yay! First appearance in the story!" "What?" Toad said. "Nothing." DK replied. "Yeah! And where'd you here that word?" Baby Peach asked DK. "Places, and The Boondocks. Man, what a funny show!" "The what?" Toad asked. "It's a- oh right, you guys aren't familiar with- never mind." "Familiar with what? Earth" Toad asked. "Yeah." DK replied. "Well, me Yoshi, Bowser and Peach have been there before, but we haven't been since the early 90's, so no the fuck we don't know!"

Toad said and smiled. "So, question, DK?" Baby Peach replied. "Sure, lay it on me!" DK replied. "So, white people can say N***** as long as they don't mean it in a offensive way?" "That's right, Baby Peach!" "Yeah, and besides," Toad replied we're always making fun of each other, Baby Peach.

Like, Mario and Luigi are immigrants, and Italian American'ts, DK's a darkie, jigga, and I'm called white thrash-" No, that's Diane Baby DK quickly replied. "Oh, yeah!" Toad said. "Anyways, Bowser's a ginger bastard and so on and so worth." "Oh, I gotcha." "And just one more thing," Toad said as he turned and looked. "Don't be a Paula Deen!" DK turned and looked. "I thought you just said-"

"Yeah, I really don't know who Paula Deen is." Toad replied. "Really?" "Yeah, I just randomly came up with the name. "Wow, everything we talked about sounds like somethin' they'd say on North Playground. (The Mushroom Kingdom's South Park) Baby DK replied. "I know!" Baby Peach replied. "You mean South Park?" DK replied. Toad, Baby DK, and Baby Peach looked at DK and cocked their heads. "Huh?" "South who?" DK sighed and grinned. "Never mind." Yoshi's fan turned red as he was talking on the phone. "…and that's when I said…."

Well, how was it? Did you like the popular culture references? If so, then they'll be lots of them. Also, not bad after being away for so long, huh? Also for those of you who don't know Diane is really Daisy, but I hate her, and so does most of the population in my story, so we'll play along with this. Hoped you enjoyed. Until next time,

-yoshikirbykid